I'm getting milked dry by issan family

[lostintranslationn]

Hello all thailand experts. I am in a sort of pinch right now. I just met a nice Thai lady who is from issan. Right now we are living at her home and everything is well, except , her parents is obviously thinking I'm some dumb farang who they need to extract as much money as possible. I have told this to my gf, I told her how I feel about this and she said she knows and feels sad that her family is like that and she is being forced in "milking the farang" which is me..

A few examples. Her sisters motorbike suddenly can't start. Father nebited take a look. The same day gf talks about buying a new motorbike would be good to have in this issan city. Later that evening the father tells me its the battery that need to be replaced but I have to pay him because my dog has destroyed it, which I did not see and I think its bs because my dog would not just bite stuff like that.

Another example. Moms teaching book was destroyed by my dog and of course I have to pay for it. Triple the price of a new one! Also bs because the the snippets were "bitten" by my dog, as she accused. The snippets of paper are perfectly cube form with a few long hexacube formed. Now, when a dog bites paper from a book it is randomly formed with tearing and deformation. The paper snippets I saw were clean and flat. Riped with human fingers.

Another example. She usually cooks for her parents when they come back home from work, if not, then she takes them out to dinner. In the 2 weeks here we have been eating out almost every day and not just some sideway or mom and pop restaurants but the more upscale restaurants where I mostly drop 1 to 2 k every time, in issan! I thought issan was supposed to be cheaper than the rest of Thailand.

And I could go on with more examples but you get the idea. I just want to know how to make them stop milking me. I don't mind paying but its not about the money, well it is of course but most importantly its the principle. I don't want them to think I'm some easy walking ATM machine. I really like this girl its just her greedy family that bothers me.

I hope to read some expert insights on this matter here on this Thai forum.

[wangsuda]

Run. Fast. They will not stop.

[transam]

Fink perhaps you are the problem...........

YOU set the ground rules.................end of story.....

[tonytigerbkk]

Expert insite, certainly.

Run Forest, run.

Before I met my wife I met plenty of these types of families.

You cannot win in this situation, you will be milked dry and because they are family and you are not, your sweet girl will stand back and let this happen.

[leo202]

Say no.

[siampolee]

Both Wangsuda and tonytigerbkk offered sound advice which I too will agree with. Take it . Up sticks and run. When the funds stop you'll be thrown away like a redundant dog turd

You've got a wrong un my friend, do not think that your beloved is all sweetness and light, she is cast in the same mold as her parents you are the local wealth industry in their eyes.

Edited February 10, 2015 by metisdead
Copyrighted image removed.

[Costas2008]

I'm not an expert but I can tell you what I did when I was in a similar situation.

I just told my then future wife, that if she wants her family taken out and fed, she can do it but she has to pay.

If she wouldn't agree to that I would leave her.

Promise you, she did agree and from then on no more family was entertained in those expensive or cheap restaurants either.

If you like that woman and you think you will have a future with her, brake away from her parents house.

You better rent a house at the beginning and thinking of buying later.

But never give in in demands either from the parents or your tirak.

The more they see you give in the more they will demand.

Good Luck to you.

[wangsuda]

I hope to read some expert insights on this matter here on this Thai forum.

Never, and I mean NEVER! Date a person who makes less money than you.

Never, and I mean NEVER! Date a person with a dependent family.

I don't mind paying

That is your biggest mistake. You are now only an object that supplies money. That will never change (and no, love will not conquer it).

[Crazy chef 1]

blood is thicker than water...old saying- though your chances to get a successful relationship without sponsoring might be minimal...

sad but true...

[Loptr]

I stopped reading at nice lady from Isaan...

RUN!!!!!!!!!

[longstebe]

I stopped reading at nice lady from Isaan...

RUN!!!!!!!!!

Good and bad everywhere soft lad.

[JusMe]

Difficult to milk a cow if it's moving quickly.

There's the advice for you, if you want to stop being milked.

[uptheos]

As said before......Run Forrest run........and don't look back.

[robblok]

Everyone who said run is right.. this can only get worse. It will strain the relation.. now your still deeply in love.. once that is gone it will bother you more and more and the bomb will burst.

Its sad for the girl.. sad for you.. but if you don't get out now you will have to later.

[thaipod]

Not exactually milking big money. Tell your girlfriend straight, I,m not a ATM.

[kelboy]

Go and buy the book

PRIVATE DANCER

and read it on the bus out of there.

If you dont you will end up dead one way or another

[rgs2001uk]

Sounds like you have got yourself a "keeper" there, get a ring on her finger pronto, the good ones are always snapped up.

Khun por and mair sound like right salt of the earth people.

Do you know anything about badger milking?

[CharlieH]

[Loptr]

I stopped reading at nice lady from Isaan...

RUN!!!!!!!!!

Good and bad everywhere soft lad.

I'm sure she is a nice lady, but it sounds like the OP can''t afford her AND her family... Edited February 10, 2015 by Loptr

[Jip99]

MAN ?

or....

[longstebe]

I stopped reading at nice lady from Isaan...

RUN!!!!!!!!!

Good and bad everywhere soft lad.

I'm sure she is a nice lady, but it sounds like the OP can''t afford her AND her family...

Don't try and twist it, you said " I stopped reading at nice lady from Isaan ".

Care to explain you comment?

[evadgib]

Try Hanibal Lectering the dog:

(Troll!)

[A1Str8]

First, the girl you view as nice is not nice at all. Wake up. She told you that she knows and understands how you feel but regardless of that she lets her family to rob you anyway. If she felt the way you do towards her, she would simply not put up with what her family does and she would tell you to move somewhere together etc. Using the family as an excuse is not cutting it. It's her family that's ripping you off and her!

Just do this: tell her that you want to move somewhere else with her, not in isaan but another part of Thailand. Tell her that you really like her but you want to be with her and not with her family. Tell her that it is not your responsibility to take care of the entire family. If she understands it and says yes, keep her. If she's clearly against it, that means she's with the family and if you stay, this situation is not going to stop anytime soon. Well it will, when you run out of money. So if she's not down with moving with you, then pack your stuff and run. And find yourself a woman instead of a misguided little thing who views men as financial institutions.

[transam]

First, the girl you view as nice is not nice at all. Wake up. She told you that she knows and understands how you feel but regardless of that she lets her family to rob you anyway. If she felt the way you do towards her, she would simply not put up with what her family does and she would tell you to move somewhere together etc. Using the family as an excuse is not cutting it. It's her family that's ripping you off and her!

Just do this: tell her that you want to move somewhere else with her, not in isaan but another part of Thailand. Tell her that you really like her but you want to be with her and not with her family. Tell her that it is not your responsibility to take care of the entire family. If she understands it and says yes, keep her. If she's clearly against it, that means she's with the family and if you stay, this situation is not going to stop anytime soon. Well it will, when you run out of money. So if she's not down with moving with you, then pack your stuff and run. And find yourself a woman instead of a misguided little thing who views men as financial institutions.

BUT, we are all conceived as "millionaires", WE cannot change that mindset..............

[NickJ]

It will never change or get better ever.....even worse now that you have been to her house. The parents will loose face if they are not now permantly blessed by the FarangATM God. The neighbors will start to wonder where all the new stuff is.

Date the girls that dont come from Issan

[lust]

"I just met a nice Thai lady who is from issan." cue money problems.... Same old <deleted>, different sucker posting.

[2fishin2]

This is NOT about her parents is MORE about your "girl." She know's what is more important, her parents. As mentioned earlier, run forrest, run!

[Gecko123]

OP:

If your girlfriend really told you that her family was pressuring her to let them take advantage of you, and that it was difficult for her to stop them from doing so, I would treat that as a bald-faced lie and start making plans for breaking off the relationship. In my opinion, the idea that a Thai family would have leverage over your girlfriend to exploit you in this way is as ludicrous as a Western girl back home claiming this to be the case. It is an absolute lie that in Thai culture it is permissible for the girl's family to view a prospective suitor as someone to be exploited for financial gain. I don't care how poor the family is, or how rich the prospective suitor is. It is also an absolute falsehood (except perhaps in a totally backward dysfunctional family) that if a family attempted to take advantage of the girlfriend's suitor, that the girlfriend would be unable to control this behavior (exactly in the same way a Western girl would be lying if she claimed she was powerless to control her family in the West.) The girlfriend would always wield enormous control over her family's behavior as she would enjoy the status of the farang's closest confident.

The OP's girlfriend is taking advantage of the OP's naivete by playing on myths about Thai culture and family life, i.e., the foreign boyfriend is expected to take care of her extended family lock, stock and barrel. The fact that she AND her family sound fairly skilled and practiced at working as a team to take advantage of the OP makes me strongly suspect that the OP is not the first farang she has brought back to her village. The fact that it is being done so brazenly is also very telling. It sounds like she isn't that interested in or dependent on the OP, which makes me wonder if she doesn't already have another guy or two who are supporting her, or if she has already decided that there's no long term payoff in her relationship with the OP, and only sees the relationship as a short-term exercise in extracting as much money as possible before the OP goes back home. Some of these girls start getting very careless and cocky after they get a guy or two to start sending her money every month.

At any rate, she AND her family are raising a lot of red flags. The girlfriend sounds money oriented, manipulative and dishonest, not to mention well-practiced in what she's doing. If I were the OP I would go into frugal mode, and carefully observe how everyone behaves. This will reveal people's true feelings. If this is just a vacation fling for the OP, I would bail. The cards sound like they are stacked against you. There are a lot better fish in the sea, and this one sounds like a toxic barely edible blowfish.

Edited February 10, 2015 by Gecko123

[watcharacters]

I wonder if some of this is a matter of cultural norm for her family. I think I would approach it from that angle and find out what the GF says. I would however determine how much I am willing to part with as so called gifts and support.

My advice to others has been and is, never to risk more than one is willing to lose. I generally don't even expect a thank you but if occasionally one is given, it is appreciated.

[tonytigerbkk]

I'm not an expert but I can tell you what I did when I was in a similar situation.

I just told my then future wife, that if she wants her family taken out and fed, she can do it but she has to pay.

If she wouldn't agree to that I would leave her.

Promise you, she did agree and from then on no more family was entertained in those expensive or cheap restaurants either.

If you like that woman and you think you will have a future with her, brake away from her parents house.

You better rent a house at the beginning and thinking of buying later.

But never give in in demands either from the parents or your tirak.

The more they see you give in the more they will demand.

Good Luck to you.

Do you have some kind of an alarm system that alerts you whenever the words 'Isaan' & 'milked' are used in the same post?