I'm getting milked dry by issan family

[Boo]

Post removed with very derogatory reference to thai men & Issan people plus a reply to it.

Watch your prejudiced comment about thai men & people from Issan. They are purely your own views & are not an accurate reflection of a whole race & will not be tolerated on thaivisa.

[Powerhousesteve]

Sorry mate, but you deserve it, you enjoy having the hiss taken out of you.

[I say]

run............... once dried up, you next step is suicide.

[kingalfred]

Here we go again. Another mug.What the f*** you still doing there?

[dao16]

This reads like a troll post, but assuming it is real....

I have enough trouble with a perfectly nice and kind family here (basic cultural stuff), so don't get involved with one actively out to get you.

[MyFriend You]

You are all right. I have been dumb and weak to start with, to live in her house where her parents come every day.

I would in the west_ But its quite harsh and dangerous to my health to tell her parents to fkoff. I think its reasonable to help paying some bills like electricity and water while they let me live in their house and that's what I told her and agreed on but lying to make me give money is unacceptable for me.

As for those saying I should get rid of the dog. No way. I love my dog. They probably hate my dog and make her the black sheep. Oh and about my dog, her father and brother treats my dog very bad. Hit her and scream at her, like some street dog, is this normal? Do Thai people treat their dogs so violently and bad? Its an Siberian husky and this breed need lots of love and attention. I fear for my dogs health. Its still a puppy. I wanna tell my gf but I guess she would not dare to say anything to her family about this. They are looking surprised when I hug and kiss my dog.

Running is not easy. My suitcase and bags are all at her house and there are no taxis around here. We have just been looking around for an apartment. But she told her parents about it...

I will try some of the things u guys advised about.

Oh and if u were wondering. It is not an "sponsoring" relationship. She is under 30 and I am relatively young in my 30s. We are genuinely happy together. There is no mistake in that. No acting. Its just her family that thinks all farangs are walking ATM machines. So I am just asking for advice/insight on this dillema.

Newbie !

maybee go back to my quote - Mango 66,

I told you my story somehow,

you dont know thai tradition,

you have stoill to learn how Thai families are living !

If you want stay there, than sure on many things you have to adapt,

on some you have accept to live with them , than you also have to share somethings with them;

Your privacy in a BIG thai family is smaller than in western countries !

You share financial things,

but keep strong for your own privacy !!

Your bed room is yours and yours wife !!

Iven id Big family visit, its yours and no other will use that room or sleep in !

They will not understand on beginning,

but tell your wife, you also will not sleep in Grands or sisters bedroom !!

Anyway now you released your Age,

I guesss your savings not for ever, you will have go to work again,

in the village you will not find a job;

So you will have early or later to settle in a bigger town;

Your husky !

Poor Dog ! He is wrong in Thailand, he needs cold weather and run- run - run !!

My Friend had one in Germany, to fulfill his activity,

they gad to run with him everyday with bycicle,

special in thai you will not be able as run as much as he need !

Thais have also pet - dogs, but usually a small dog in house ( Bangkok)

my Thai ! sister had one, with hairdress and kiss and everything;

But in General, Dog is for Thai a Dog on the street and many ends up sold to Vietnam for food,

no tears by Thai for this;

So you have to show them, your Dog is your pet !!

Maybee you can arange a sure safe place for him, where he can rest when he need,

( a small doghouse in the garden ? );

when I started to get a family in thai i read several of this books, which some other already

recommand you to read; read them !!

Dont beleave many of this bull shit which you read here in some quotes, but be wakeup and careful;

Dont tell all your hidden life and finances, tell from time to time about troubles you have with some business or money 1

This is in thai not a lie - it is culture to try to get compassion and understanding !

Get sick for a week, and check what is going on !! ( stomach, headache, no appetite , no restaurant - rest and see !!

I wrote you about money in my other mail , try to keep in a balance where you have to calculate you pay a rental,

BUT for your problem you feel, make an agreement about a monthal fee - rent , for that you live there !

Tell you must carefull plan your finances until you will find a job and income in Thailand;

Tell your wife, all what you should give away for other relatives and friends,

she will miss for her and her future childrens;

All you can safe now, you will need for your own family home to be build,

or first a Condo in a city to make business !!

Talk about business they like more than you just talk about a job !!

If you have special questions,

just send me a PM ( personal mail )

good luck !!

Everyone run!! He's reloading...........actually, I read your entire post, agree with 98% of it, I actually take issue with me not being able to sleep with her sister.....fair is fair right, some kids of ll ages I've never seen come to sleep on my bedroom floor, I'm heading out to sleep with the sister - as long as she is well over the age limit

[MZurf]

I hope to read some expert insights on this matter here on this Thai forum.

Never, and I mean NEVER! Date a person who makes less money than you.

Never, and I mean NEVER! Date a person with a dependent family.

Following your advice to its logical conclusion means that no one will ever date anyone, ever again!

[Potter]

Too long to read through it all, so here are a couple of my thoughts.

* She is in it with her family, and totally agrees with her family.
* The bills from the dog are peanuts. You are expected to offer to pay for these regardless. They are not supposed to ask for your water heart.
* How much rent are you paying?
* The expensive restaurant bills. If they eat for less than 100 baht, and they can get you to pay for 2,000 baht. Then it is a good every day cash for them.
* Move out, start new. That's most easy. If you wanna stay with her regardless, it will be complicated forever.

[Maestro]

Removed a troll post and an off-topic post.

[Travel Dude]

Love makes you blind.

And she can play the game of loving you perfectly well... She can make you believe. She can cry in your arms... She can give you perfect love... She is the one...

She can make you happy for years...

She does not even need to be a BG for that.

But, and I have to agree with all the other posters here, it's an illusion created by your perception she loves you.

In reality you are just a finance man giving out free cash upon request.

This is a very different culture then where you come from and you will never understand their ethics and morals. They are so fundamentally different from those of you. Read the book Culture Shock Thailand and you might get a better understanding.

You are no one except an ATM with this girl. And she better be nice to you to have you spill some more cash.

There is no point in talking to her cause you did that already and the result was?

You love her and you THINK she loves you. YOU think... Love makes blind.

[AYJAYDEE]

Love makes you blind.

And she can play the game of loving you perfectly well... She can make you believe. She can cry in your arms... She can give you perfect love... She is the one...

She can make you happy for years...

She does not even need to be a BG for that.

But, and I have to agree with all the other posters here, it's an illusion created by your perception she loves you.

In reality you are just a finance man giving out free cash upon request.

This is a very different culture then where you come from and you will never understand their ethics and morals. They are so fundamentally different from those of you. Read the book Culture Shock Thailand and you might get a better understanding.

You are no one except an ATM with this girl. And she better be nice to you to have you spill some more cash.

There is no point in talking to her cause you did that already and the result was?

You love her and you THINK she loves you. YOU think... Love makes blind.

speak for yourself. you obviously know nothing of the culture or morality

[Dumbastheycome]

There is no single simple answer you can find here with that sort of question. You already know your situation....up to you what you do about it.

[smotherb]

Deal with it the Thai way,

Agree to everything they want, but never get round to actually doing it or handing over any cash.

1 "Yep, I'm gonna buy you a new m/c, just waiting to transfer some money in from my home account ........." etc.

2 "I'll buy the new battery next time I go into town."

3 "We can get married next month, just gotta get the affirmation to marry from my consulate"

4 "Sure, I can buy you all dinner at the new restaurant, I'll be a bit late, meet me there, order anything you like while you wait."

That's not just the Thai way. It's been around everywhere forever, I imagine. International diplomacy and business negotiation, to a large extent, are based on that premise. Wympee, Popeye's sidekick, is famous for saying, "I'll surely pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today." "Promise them anything, but give them Arpage," is an old ad line. They've even made songs about promising Rose Gardens. I love you long-time.

[ScarpoFongness4U]

am I the only one that thinks there is much more to this that we aren't hearing, like:

what are you paying them?

you are living in their house, and having sex with their daughter?

and, for this, you expect to live for free?

so, they ask for a new battery because your husky pup destroyed it? he ate some papers?

sounds guilty to me, and you refused to cover the costs?

OP, seriously,

what is your actual financial situation because, some of us, have truly come up with some dough for our girls, while they were ours, but you young man,

you, young man, do not seem to be telling us, you are paying all her bills, AND they are asking for more,

no, you are stating that you are boot strapping this girl with promises you cannot fill?

I think now that you are a free loader, and they are stuck with YOU.....

feel free to dispute this with facts, and for god sakes man, that husky will one day rip the skin right off anyone who doesnt know it is time to stop teasing him, and, then, you will have serious gash wound to stitch up for them, provided they don't cut him up with a machete, but, my money is on the husky, the day will come when he decided to treat his antagonizer, to a few less fingers and maybe even half a face,

I dont like your story, I think it is missing some pieces,

ill up the gaps man,

and, how did you meet her, and how did you find you find yourself stranded in Isaan?

you can get a taxi van there from the airport, just call

[luk AJ]

The dog is an extension of yourself, if they treat the dog bad, it's a sign they don't like you. So in the first place get out of the house! If your GF allows her parents to kick the dog, I would leave and never go back. We all know that in Thailand the family sees us as ATM's and why not help them if you have the financial means. However it is your money and your decision. If you have savings, never ever let them know. I understand your situation, many of us had similar experience so the only good advice is read the threads of so many TV members who want the best for you.

[hellohello123]

Deal with it the Thai way,

Agree to everything they want, but never get round to actually doing it or handing over any cash.

1 "Yep, I'm gonna buy you a new m/c, just waiting to transfer some money in from my home account ........." etc.

2 "I'll buy the new battery next time I go into town."

3 "We can get married next month, just gotta get the affirmation to marry from my consulate"

4 "Sure, I can buy you all dinner at the new restaurant, I'll be a bit late, meet me there, order anything you like while you wait."

5. If I give you money, I lose face, so Im not going to do it (while watching them scratch their head as to the relevance of it )

[thehelmsman]

Dogs in Issan are generally treated like crap. Don't understand why you would even have a dog if your situation isn't stable. Why would you want to live with her parents? Rent a house and start your own life. If you can't do this for finanicial reasons then my advice for your lady is to boot your ass out or for you to stop whining.

[kingalfred]

Love makes you blind.

And she can play the game of loving you perfectly well... She can make you believe. She can cry in your arms... She can give you perfect love... She is the one...

She can make you happy for years...

She does not even need to be a BG for that.

But, and I have to agree with all the other posters here, it's an illusion created by your perception she loves you.

In reality you are just a finance man giving out free cash upon request.

This is a very different culture then where you come from and you will never understand their ethics and morals. They are so fundamentally different from those of you. Read the book Culture Shock Thailand and you might get a better understanding.

You are no one except an ATM with this girl. And she better be nice to you to have you spill some more cash.

There is no point in talking to her cause you did that already and the result was?

You love her and you THINK she loves you. YOU think... Love makes blind.

speak for yourself. you obviously know nothing of the culture or morality

yes he does and he defined it accurately for many in Thailand

[AYJAYDEE]

Love makes you blind.

And she can play the game of loving you perfectly well... She can make you believe. She can cry in your arms... She can give you perfect love... She is the one...

She can make you happy for years...

She does not even need to be a BG for that.

But, and I have to agree with all the other posters here, it's an illusion created by your perception she loves you.

In reality you are just a finance man giving out free cash upon request.

This is a very different culture then where you come from and you will never understand their ethics and morals. They are so fundamentally different from those of you. Read the book Culture Shock Thailand and you might get a better understanding.

You are no one except an ATM with this girl. And she better be nice to you to have you spill some more cash.

There is no point in talking to her cause you did that already and the result was?

You love her and you THINK she loves you. YOU think... Love makes blind.

speak for yourself. you obviously know nothing of the culture or morality

yes he does and he defined it accurately for many in Thailand

for many perhaps but not for most

[DLock]

You are all right. I have been dumb and weak to start with, to live in her house where her parents come every day.

I would in the west_ But its quite harsh and dangerous to my health to tell her parents to fkoff. I think its reasonable to help paying some bills like electricity and water while they let me live in their house and that's what I told her and agreed on but lying to make me give money is unacceptable for me.

As for those saying I should get rid of the dog. No way. I love my dog. They probably hate my dog and make her the black sheep. Oh and about my dog, her father and brother treats my dog very bad. Hit her and scream at her, like some street dog, is this normal? Do Thai people treat their dogs so violently and bad? Its an Siberian husky and this breed need lots of love and attention. I fear for my dogs health. Its still a puppy. I wanna tell my gf but I guess she would not dare to say anything to her family about this. They are looking surprised when I hug and kiss my dog.

Running is not easy. My suitcase and bags are all at her house and there are no taxis around here. We have just been looking around for an apartment. But she told her parents about it...

I will try some of the things u guys advised about.

Oh and if u were wondering. It is not an "sponsoring" relationship. She is under 30 and I am relatively young in my 30s. We are genuinely happy together. There is no mistake in that. No acting. Its just her family that thinks all farangs are walking ATM machines. So I am just asking for advice/insight on this dillema.

You have had 10 pages of "advice".

If you can't figure it out from here, and plan to continue the way you started, then all hope is lost for you kid.

If someone kicked my dog, I would punch them in the face.

How did you even get yourself in a relationship with an Issan girl, staying in the family home, getting a Husky and not having a car?

Your priorities are sure messed up. Might be time to reassess priorities so you have a better life.

[georgegeorgia]

They kicked ya dog...took ya money...ate ya food...drank ya beer...and they couldnt even kiss you before raping you ! Bastards

[brling]

Love makes you blind.

And she can play the game of loving you perfectly well... She can make you believe. She can cry in your arms... She can give you perfect love... She is the one...

She can make you happy for years...

She does not even need to be a BG for that.

But, and I have to agree with all the other posters here, it's an illusion created by your perception she loves you.

In reality you are just a finance man giving out free cash upon request.

This is a very different culture then where you come from and you will never understand their ethics and morals. They are so fundamentally different from those of you. Read the book Culture Shock Thailand and you might get a better understanding.

You are no one except an ATM with this girl. And she better be nice to you to have you spill some more cash.

There is no point in talking to her cause you did that already and the result was?

You love her and you THINK she loves you. YOU think... Love makes blind.

speak for yourself. you obviously know nothing of the culture or morality

No it is you and all the other naive saps that know nothing about the culture about milking a loser farang.

[Johnny S]

Go and buy the book

PRIVATE DANCER

and read it on the bus out of there.

If you dont you will end up dead one way or another

You can download "Private Dancer" for FREE

[BKKBobby]

Your post made me depressed. I feel sorry for you. You are a walking ATM, if you wasnt it wouldnt be such a long post full of examples. You would already have run for the hills. Parents are parents, they raise us and most often we love them dearly. Shes a big risk. My advice to you is to evaluate if you are a weak guy at high risk of getting used. Also, how 'attractive' are you back in farangland? Im not only focusing on your face and body. I mean in general. I assume your sweetheart is in the same age-range as you, if not, then you are one of the guys that think that they are hansum man until death. In farangland only celebrities and the very wealthy have much younger female company in general, right?

Edited February 12, 2015 by BKKBobby

[lostintranslationn]

I have read private dancer, twice, prior coming to Thailand but that story is a bit extreme compared to mine and not really same,

[GinBoy2]

This is troll post, please tell me it is!

[transam]

This is troll post, please tell me it is!

[BKKBobby]

I have read private dancer, twice, prior coming to Thailand but that story is a bit extreme compared to mine and not really same,

How well did you do with females that are equally attractive and is in the same age-range as your girlfriend in your country back home?

[Choonpon]

Dear OP, you will be forever under the parents' thumb if you keep giving in to them. Unless your finance ran dry then you will end up in the streets with nothing. There are countless cases in Thailand. Hope you will not end up like that. From your posts, it seems that your gf is not someone you can rely on as she is on the family's side. Your suitcases and bags are everywhere in the house and its difficult to pack them and leave. In the worst scenario, you just need to round up your passport, all important document, your bank books, atm cards, all your valuables (and dog) and your handphone and leave. You can easily replenish your belongings later but your freedom and life is priceless. There's a will there's a way.

[lostintranslationn]

Dear OP, you will be forever under the parents' thumb if you keep giving in to them. Unless your finance ran dry then you will end up in the streets with nothing. There are countless cases in Thailand. Hope you will not end up like that. From your posts, it seems that your gf is not someone you can rely on as she is on the family's side. Your suitcases and bags are everywhere in the house and its difficult to pack them and leave. In the worst scenario, you just need to round up your passport, all important document, your bank books, atm cards, all your valuables (and dog) and your handphone and leave. You can easily replenish your belongings later but your freedom and life is priceless. There's a will there's a way.

I will try to do this. Its sound advice to proceed at this stage if the situation and thanks for not calling me a loser like many do without even knowing me personally.