Am I Just very Lucky or am I being set up ?

[CapeThai]

I'm posting this on behalf of another Expat who needs some advise from you guys who's been here long time and who knows Thai woman's behavior the best.

First of all he has a Thai girlfriend for almost a year now and comes to visit her regularly. She's not a bar girl and has a normal admin job ( don't know her income ) and is to the likes of it a decent 32 year old girl with no children and never been married before.

Anyway, these two is apparently very much in love and he's even been to meeting her family a few times now.

Thing is he says he's been reading on the Internet about how Thai woman only want Farags money and all that crap so he needs your opinion on the next.

He's not rich at all but does ok for himself and his lady is aware of this fact him not being a rich guy. From what I can see he treats her really well and there is definitely at the look of things respect for one another.

Now his question,

He says he's coming to live with her for 6 months and then ask her to marry next year.

1. She lives with family but already rented a long term condo for them to stay in together...Nashe says they must share the cost....it's cheaper then a hotel where they usually stay together when he comes to visit her.

2. He usually rents a car for 3 weeks at a time when he comes to visit her..... She actually asked him what car he likes and went and bought a brand new one..... Once again she reckons it will work out cheaper at the end and they will share the payment.

It does not look like he's been treated well by the woman back home as he reckons no woman has ever done all this for him.... Apparently she is now busy buying and filling the condos cupboard with new clothes and what knows what ells for him for when he arrives in 2 weeks time. " because she wants him to be comfortable "

The thing is he seems a bit confusing about all this well doing by this lady and worries that he might be set up for her later draining him of his money when he moves here permanently.

I personally seen her doing everything for him and almost wiping the freaking pavement he's walking on. He want to know if this is normal behavior for Thai woman or if he's being sugar coated to be scammed later on ?

He's an old friend of mine from back home and I think it's not place to advise him on any of this.

Any normal and sensitive commends from Long time expats who can put this man at ease ?

[wow64]

Tell your friend to register on TV best thing he can do.

Then post a pic of the girl and her phone number so we can help out.

Edited March 17, 2015 by wow64

[Gulfsailor]

The answer fully depends on the age of your friend.

[Lucifer]

Tell your " friend" to relax and enjoy the ride.

[Xircal]

Some good advice here: http://phil.uk.net/thailand/girls_faq.html

[Matej]

Question is, whether it is fake or genuine love from her.

No one can answer this, only himself.

General question about Thai women from one man perspective doesn't make any sense or very little ...

Every one is unique, comes from different background, has different values, experience and million other things.

My advice. Forget about instructions and manuals ...

Good luck.

[slightlychilled]

Strikes me she's already spending his money. Has she not bought a car and rented a condo with the proviso that he is already paying half for both ?

A bit presumptious IMO. I smell a rat.

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Unless it is all already on his credit card

She bought nothing

[NeverSure]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

[rijb]

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

[puukao]

i am his friend. I just turned 72, but i look 30!!! I take vitamins and walk every day!!! I listen to hip-hop music and can stay up to 8:30 p.m. some nights!!! But I am up at 4, drinking warm milk.

[CapeThai]

The answer fully depends on the age of your friend.

He's 43 and a very laid backed person. He's not interested in bars, drinking etc if this might give you better idea of the man.

[CapeThai]

Strikes me she's already spending his money. Has she not bought a car and rented a condo with the proviso that he is already paying half for both ?

A bit presumptious IMO. I smell a rat.

As far as I know they agreed to move in together and share the bills.

[CapeThai]

Unless it is all already on his credit card

She bought nothing

He mentioned she paid 3 months in advance for the condo out of her own pocket and paid the down payment of 130000 baht on the car out of her pocket and is not asking this money back.... This is one of the reasons the man is slightly worried about the whole thing.

[CapeThai]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

[CapeThai]

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

Apparently her family is mad about the man and they get on very well according to him. Her family stay somewhere near Hua Hin and she used to share a place with some lady family in Bkk. According to him the family already told him they don't want any Sin Sod from him but should take care of her.

[sipi]

Tell him to relax. Nothing to worry about.

[benalibina]

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

Apparently her family is mad about the man and they get on very well according to him. Her family stay somewhere near Hua Hin and she used to share a place with some lady family in Bkk. According to him the family already told him they don't want any Sin Sod from him but should take care of her.

[CapeThai]

Well they look very happy together as she appears to also be a very calm and homely person like him... Their currently working to improve their communication skills and he's apparently going the study Thai and she English....

Well he just seemed a bit worried or shocked about all the gifts she buys him and getting a place for them to stay and buying the car of his choice as he mentioned he will not qualify for finance in Thailand. She even asked him what color he wants and the % of the film they must put on the windows....

So do you guys think he's the got the real deal ?

Edited March 17, 2015 by CapeThai

[rhythmworx]

She cant speak English already?

This is a wind up.

[Swiss1960]

my 5 cents... he should GO for it when he thinks it's ok and NOT listen to advice from people on the internet knowing neither him or her... which of course includes me

as with EVERY woman in the world, if they set you up, they set you up because men in love don't think with the right head... and your friend will know what he can afford to write off money-wise and what not. that should be his main guideline

[CapeThai]

Tell your friend to register on TV best thing he can do.

Then post a pic of the girl and her phone number so we can help out.

Oh dear, don't think this would be such a good idea...??

[CapeThai]

She cant speak English already?

This is a wind up.

She could hardly at first but they have put Al lot of effort into it the past year and their doing ok.... But seems like she wants to improve even more.

[CapeThai]

my 5 cents... he should GO for it when he thinks it's ok and NOT listen to advice from people on the internet knowing neither him or her... which of course includes me

as with EVERY woman in the world, if they set you up, they set you up because men in love don't think with the right head... and your friend will know what he can afford to write off money-wise and what not. that should be his main guideline

Thanks Swiss, for this advise. I basicly thought the same about this whole thing. Will pass this on to him...

[Rooo]

Moved to Expat life.

[slightlychilled]

Their currently working to improve their communication skills and he's apparently going the study Thai and she English....

How can anyone possibly be in love with someone they can't satisfactorily communicate with ?

How can you even begin to think you are compatible when you cannot even discuss issues of importance ?

It's pathetic, your friend needs to move on and get a life.

[JohnnyJazz]

Well he just seemed a bit worried or shocked about all the gifts she buys him and getting a place for them to stay and buying the car of his choice as he mentioned he will not qualify for finance in Thailand. She even asked him what color he wants and the % of the film they must put on the windows....

So do you guys think he's the got the real deal ?

If it's a gift then I'm Santa Claus. I too bought a number of flats, paid the downpayment then let other people who can't afford to buy their own place stay. I just ask them to help me pay the mortgage. But usually they refer to me as the "Landlord".

Edited March 17, 2015 by JohnnyJazz

[Soutpeel]

my assessment she is a control freak, bunny boiler in the making, your friend needs to proceed with caution

whether there is a financial scam in the making only time will tell

Edited March 17, 2015 by Soutpeel

[simon43]

I think it is quite possible that she is not trying to 'scam' him, especially if she knows that he is not rich. A lady can have a very good life with a caring partner - it is not always about money.

Example - I am 55 years old and known not to be rich - no savings, no jetset lifestyle. I have been 'pursued' by a 25 year old, pretty Thai lady who is serious about wanting to be my life partner. Her reasoning is (in her own words), 'anything has to be better than a Thai man'

Unfortunately for her, I am no longer into serious relationships (too many went bad on me!).

[JohnnyJazz]

my assessment she is a control freak, bunny boiler in the making, your friend needs to proceed with caution

whether there is a financial scam in the making only time will tell

That's would be my first reaction

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

Good suggestion. Look at the relation between the father and the mother, who's in charge ... The same for the siblings. There are a lot of chances she will repeat the same behavior. He should pay a special attention to the mother, she's going to be the one who's going to rule his life from now on.

_

Edited March 17, 2015 by JohnnyJazz