Smile awhile

[ravip]

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:

dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
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A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......
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A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"

Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"
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Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jake..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
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Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
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A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal
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A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
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Slogan on a man's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed"