13 year old Female to Male Transgender has a bar (not bat) mitzvah

[Jingthing]

Bar Mitzvah is for a boy.

Bat for a girl.

Rabbi Tsipi Gabai, the school’s rabbi and director of Jewish studies, took into consideration the high rate of suicide and suicide attempts among transgender individuals (one study put it as high as 41 percent) when deciding to work with Sosnik and his parents on crafting the content of the ceremony.

http://www.timesofisrael.com/california-jewish-school-marks-8th-graders-gender-transition/

His new name is Tom.

Which is a little funny in the Thai context.

While this is a lovely story of tolerance and liberal values (Tom was previously badly bullied), a news story like this makes me wonder if "kids today" are going too fast in making lifetime decisions about their sexuality and/or gender.

Does a 13 year old usually really know for sure about such things?

Viral video about Tom's coming out as transgender:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSiRy_618ww

Edited March 27, 2015 by Jingthing

[Scott]

Most 13 year olds are pretty fluid in their identity and not particularly well suited to make life decisions. I would think, though that a transgender would probably be a little more sure than the average 13 year old.

It would depend a lot on the age at which the person figured out they were transgender. If they had sort of known for many years that is a little different than someone who at 12 decides to try something new.

Like a lot of these sorts of decisions, a good, healthy, supportive family and community and some professional guidance can help youngsters see things clearly and learn to accept who/what they are.

[Jingthing]

I agree orientation can be very fluid at such young ages. Probably gender id is less fluid. Maybe this kid being religious felt some kind of pressure to commit before his bar mitzvah.

Sent from my Lenovo S820_ROW using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited March 27, 2015 by Jingthing

[jdinasia]

Research suggests that gender identity is established by the age of 6

[BKKBobby]

Nice show of tolerance. Transgenders know their inner gender at that time. I give it a thumbs up.

[Goldieinkathu]

I was about to post a similar post Jingthing.

I watched this on CNN the other night , it seems that this little boy knew at the age of 3.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/17/opinions/avery-wallace-teen/index.html?sr=fb032215digitalshortsrylandAvery330pStoryGallLink

Lovely to see he has such a supportive family.

It would be interesting to see when he's 13 how far they went with it.

[BKKBobby]

Hes got luck, he look like he might become a good looking guy!

Edited March 27, 2015 by BKKBobby

[Caitrin]

1) Many transgender individuals know between the ages of 3-6, that's the same age as cisgender individuals do, because that is the age at which gender recognition occurs for everyone. Recent studies have shown that binary trans children (that is to say, children who definitely identify as the other binary gender/sex) are equally as secure in the knowledge of their gender as cisgender children. It's a normal part of human development.

2) Transgender is an ADJECTIVE not a noun. It is very offensive to refer to transgender individuals (especially those in the west, like Canada) as "a transgender." While there are South and Southeast Asian trans people who are okay with its use as a noun (see some groups in India) usually for historical cultural reasons, they are not seen as a binary (fully in the category of the other) like in the West.

There is a process by which psychiatrists, general practitioners, pediatricians, and endocrinologists make decisions about physical intervention. 13 is well old enough to have gone on puberty blockers, and by 16, hormone replacement therapy is often available. When dealing with trans children, the key is "insistent, consistent, and persistent." The child insists they are the gender that they are, this insistence is consistent over time, and the desire to do something about it is continually repeated.

Make sense?

[Jingthing]

I really wasn't conscious of the issue about noun and adjective for the word transgender. I get it now that it has been mentioned. No intention to offend. I'll try to remember to avoid using it that way in future but I'm not sure I always will.

There was also the issue of getting the pertinent info in a short headline. Yes, I can see it could be phrased differently but that was my focus with the headline text.

I have noticed in some cultures people say are you a gay? Some people are offended by that instead of are you gay, but I have just found that usage kind of quaint.

I am aware as far as therapies to make the transition more effective, earlier is often better.

This kid is very lucky by American standards to have the full support of his family and larger school community. Without that, face it, this story could not have happened.

Edited March 28, 2015 by Jingthing

[jacky54]

Just a good job he's not a Muslim, don't think transgender is allowed, maybe just in Indonesia..

[Goldieinkathu]

Just a good job he's not a Muslim, don't think transgender is allowed, maybe just in Indonesia..

He'd be fine in Iran, the government would even pay half towards his op.Plus the sex change would be recognised on his birth certificate. I understand that Iran carries out more sex change ops than any other country in the world except Thailand.

I seem to remember watching something that showed families in Afghanistan who didn't have a boy in the family gladly accepting a girl to play that role , so I guess he'd be ok there too ( in those circumstances that is) .

[Jingthing]

Just a good job he's not a Muslim, don't think transgender is allowed, maybe just in Indonesia..

He'd be fine in Iran, the government would even pay half towards his op.Plus the sex change would be recognised on his birth certificate. I understand that Iran carries out more sex change ops than any other country in the world except Thailand.

I seem to remember watching something that showed families in Afghanistan who didn't have a boy in the family gladly accepting a girl to play that role , so I guess he'd be ok there too ( in those circumstances that is) .

I think true about Iran but you left out a really important part. In Iran, gay men, as opposed to those with gender identity concerns, feel strong pressure to undergo sex change operations because they can't have any kind of life as a gay man there. I suppose it beats being murdered for being gay, but arguably just barely.

[Caitrin]

Just a good job he's not a Muslim, don't think transgender is allowed, maybe just in Indonesia..

He'd be fine in Iran, the government would even pay half towards his op.Plus the sex change would be recognised on his birth certificate. I understand that Iran carries out more sex change ops than any other country in the world except Thailand.

I seem to remember watching something that showed families in Afghanistan who didn't have a boy in the family gladly accepting a girl to play that role , so I guess he'd be ok there too ( in those circumstances that is) .

I think true about Iran but you left out a really important part. In Iran, gay men, as opposed to those with gender identity concerns, feel strong pressure to undergo sex change operations because they can't have any kind of life as a gay man there. I suppose it beats being murdered for being gay, but arguably just barely.

Pressured is putting it mildly. It's criminal prosecution up to and including death if you don't choose gender transition. LGB ! = T. You may well be L or G or B and T but sexual orientation != gender identity. It's just as wrong to force a cisgender person to transition due to sexual orientation as it is to deny transition to a transgender person.

Iran's policies are barbaric, not progressive,