Wife changed when she got back to the village

[rixalex]

By the sound of it you have just been made redundant, she has obviously got everything she wants from you and now it is time to move back to the nest that she came from. DONT WALK AWAY. RUN.

RUN?

He's 65... GENTLE JOG might be more realistic.

[darhut]

70% can not adapt to our wesetern life and to live here,

they will take the next chance to settle back to Thailand;

20% not happy, but try somehow to stay - but every day discussions

10% can and will stay ;

Therefore i never tried to get my one here, except 1 week for a sight seeing,

that a country side also can be clean and not dirty as Thailand;

Your wife took the first chance to settle back;

this 705 have also less problems to give their kids away for their own well being;

You have spend your capital, only small rent which not sotisfy her family, for which Thais always have to take care -

they dont have our social welfare - this your fault not to study thai society before you married her !!

Now , as one already mentioned, immigration will not allow you to leave with your son, without permit

from his mother ; Forget to fight on family court - needs time and money !!

Bring your son back and take your staff,

rent a small cheap apartment - wait 2 month,

give her only your phone number - best a new simm card, wich you use only with her ;

if she not back with some serious proposal - leave - you are free,

Dont agree on some higher amount for your sons life , she will use the money most for her wellbeing,

to spend with her old thai friend and husband,

your son she will leave just to the grands;

Sorry, thats what you can expect from not high educated village girls,

Good luck,

Frank

Sorry Frank but you don't have a clue about Thais relocating to another country.

I live in another country with my thai wife and she could not be happier. She has dozens of thai friends in the same situation and all are extremely happy.

In fact some do not even bother to go back to thailand for holidays preferring to visit other countries instead, and bringing close family out for visits.

Your 70% guess is probably closer to 7%.

[ExPratt]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You can take a person out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of a person........... alt=thumbsup.gif>

Absolutely the best post read so far alt=thumbsup.gif> alt=thumbsup.gif> alt=thumbsup.gif>

It is so true alt=clap2.gif> alt=clap2.gif> alt=clap2.gif>

That actually applies to everyone

[Queenslander]

James, your wife didn't change, she was always like that. You just didn't notice!

Look at the facts, she talked you into buying a business that her and her family allowed to go bust - mai bpen rai. It is not her money so she doesn't care. You have brought her back to her village where she holds the power and can dictate the terms of your relationship - pay, pay pay, bend, bend, bend or go, go, go!

She has shown by allowing you to take the child that he was not high on her agenda - until she realized that without the child you have no obligation to support her. The child to her is, in part, her money ticket;

he is her bargaining chip as she knows you care for your son and won't leave him starving; there is her (not the child's) weekly income

Taking him back to the UK is one option, but you have to consider if you are capable (on your own) of raising a 3 year old boy. Do you have sufficient family support in the UK should anything happen to you. Being 65 is not the problem, it is your long-term health that will determine if you can provide your son with the support he needs over the long term.

You also have consider his relationship with his mother. She might be a money grabbing bitch to you, but to him she is his mother. Their relationship is important to his welfare and upbringing. Ok he might not be eating the foods that you prefer or think he should be having, but it is the food that his Thai family eats and he will fall in with that over time.

I agree that he may not have the choices and opportunities that you think the UK can provide for him, but he will have his mother and other family support for many years to come. Can you provide that to him if you return with him to the UK.

There is no easy answer to this, especially if your love for/relationship to, your son is strong. If you do manage to get him out of the country, I presume on a UK passport. You can bet your life your wife won't be far behind - as you and him are her money ticket!

If you leave him here with her you will have a moral obligation (no legal obligation that I am aware of) to provide money for his (her) care. How much would depend upon your finances.

Before you make any decision consider the following:

• Do you wish to remain with this women
• Are you happy to remain in Thailand, possibly not with your wife, and visit your son periodically
• Could you live with your wife in her Thai village, knowing that possibly you will be treated like dirt (even murdered?) and be paying through the nose for everything for everyone
• Is it possible to take your son back to the UK, legally
• In the UK can you provide him with the full family support he needs - in the long term
• Would it be fair on him to be distanced from his mother and Thai family, indefinitely
• Finally, can you accept that he may have to remain in the care of his mother while you return to the UK - and have occasional visits - which by the way will be determined by the mother on how much support you send her!

Sorry cobber, not an easy choice all round. Me? I would take my son and run, but that's just me!

[blueyeshk]

That's sounds like just the beginning of a horrible story my advice sell your bike for good get out of there start a new live if u ever have to contact your wife again do it only by lawyer but leave Thailand now and don't think about financial losses the story will just get more expensive if you try to reclaim something - full stop - new live your only chance to ever become happy again

[jamesjohnsonthird]

James, your wife didn't change, she was always like that. You just didn't notice!

Look at the facts, she talked you into buying a business that her and her family allowed to go bust - mai bpen rai. It is not her money so she doesn't care. You have brought her back to her village where she holds the power and can dictate the terms of your relationship - pay, pay pay, bend, bend, bend or go, go, go!

She has shown by allowing you to take the child that he was not high on her agenda - until she realized that without the child you have no obligation to support her. The child to her is, in part, her money ticket;

he is her bargaining chip as she knows you care for your son and won't leave him starving; there is her (not the child's) weekly income

Taking him back to the UK is one option, but you have to consider if you are capable (on your own) of raising a 3 year old boy. Do you have sufficient family support in the UK should anything happen to you. Being 65 is not the problem, it is your long-term health that will determine if you can provide your son with the support he needs over the long term.

You also have consider his relationship with his mother. She might be a money grabbing bitch to you, but to him she is his mother. Their relationship is important to his welfare and upbringing. Ok he might not be eating the foods that you prefer or think he should be having, but it is the food that his Thai family eats and he will fall in with that over time.

I agree that he may not have the choices and opportunities that you think the UK can provide for him, but he will have his mother and other family support for many years to come. Can you provide that to him if you return with him to the UK.

There is no easy answer to this, especially if your love for/relationship to, your son is strong. If you do manage to get him out of the country, I presume on a UK passport. You can bet your life your wife won't be far behind - as you and him are her money ticket!

If you leave him here with her you will have a moral obligation (no legal obligation that I am aware of) to provide money for his (her) care. How much would depend upon your finances.

Before you make any decision consider the following:

• Do you wish to remain with this women
• Are you happy to remain in Thailand, possibly not with your wife, and visit your son periodically
• Could you live with your wife in her Thai village, knowing that possibly you will be treated like dirt (even murdered?) and be paying through the nose for everything for everyone
• Is it possible to take your son back to the UK, legally
• In the UK can you provide him with the full family support he needs - in the long term
• Would it be fair on him to be distanced from his mother and Thai family, indefinitely
• Finally, can you accept that he may have to remain in the care of his mother while you return to the UK - and have occasional visits - which by the way will be determined by the mother on how much support you send her!

Sorry cobber, not an easy choice all round. Me? I would take my son and run, but that's just me!

Yep. Leave the kid in Thailand and the boy will be used as a tool for the bitch to obtain assistance from the OP. Of course she will just blow that money on herself.

I mentioned earlier to report the death threats to the embassy. That may slow her down if she tries to go harass this guy back in his country.. No?

Leave this woman penniless.

Edited March 30, 2015 by jamesjohnsonthird

[FT10toLOS]

sometimes i think males should have the menopause as well...

We do............

Bullshit we do!

This is a myth circulated by the same feminists that invented "premature ejaculation".

[blueyeshk]

@ queenslander best advise given very conclusive I wrote my advice before I read yours - @op Pls follow and don't continue

[EmptyHead]

I would be so quick to send the kid back to her. God knows what she will do with him for money, aside from raise him to be more of a moron than her.

If you go back to your homecountry who will help you raise the kid? In Thailand, paid help should be cheaper than what you were paying your ex. You could probably get a live in nanny for less than 10k a month. She would be a better mother than your ex, by the sounds of things.

Perhaps, pay your ex for custody? But she would probably come back for more.

Talk to a lawyer?

You say she changed when she got back to the village, why not try to smooth things over with her and live together as far away fromt he village as possible? Your kid will be grown up before yu know it and thenit would be smart to walk away from this woman.

[captspectre]

If you are serious, take the bike to the Irish Clock pub (or wherever farang hang out nearby, you didn't mention the name of the resort). Get what you can from whoever you can, and get the shit out of there.

If you are serious...

why are you surprised? in what bar did you meet her? you have fallen for the oldest trick in the books in thailand, land a gulliable falong, take his money and everything he has and then throw him away!

[jacky54]

I am begging to think Cambodia has the right Idea, stop foolish older westerners from marrying young native woman in the first place. Then if they do marry one make it a condition of marriage that the woman has never worked in a bar. You cannot stop them from shacking up and ultimately save the bloke from throwing his money about, but it might help stop a lot of these relationship disappointments. Threatening to kill somebody is a criminal offence surely?

[loppylugs1]

At 65 you are the Walking Dead, 3 score and ten (almost)

[gemguy]

Buddy...listen up......

She has done you a big favor.........

Get a away from her poison and do not look back.

Find another women much better than your present wife and keep the kid away from the Ex and do not let her have access to the child.

Do it the Thai way....her Thai Way.....her mentality.

Just leave her forever and ignore her forever....as that is the Thai Way of doing things.

Just write the whole affair off as a bad experience and move on.

Cheers and Good luck

[MaeJoMTB]

It is amazing how many people can make their minds up hearing one side of a story.

Pathetic.

Two sides to every story,

1. The man's side.

2. A pack of lies.

I usually don't bother listening to 'pack of lies' they're always the same.

You didn't really love me, you never gave me an orgasm, the children aren't yours, I need time to find myself, etc.

[jamie obda]

Get out NOW. With or without child you will bleed.

[Bangkok Psychology]

It is amazing how many people can make their minds up hearing one side of a story.

Pathetic.

Two sides to every story,

1. The man's side.

2. A pack of lies.

I usually don't bother listening to 'pack of lies' they're always the same.

You didn't really love me, you never gave me an orgasm, the children aren't yours, I need time to find myself, etc.

Thats's a lot of 'pack of lies', you really heard them all before?

[maidee]

and that is what they call .. the long con ... she got her visa, now she is entitled to half of everything that is yours, sadly

too bad there is no crazy test before you marry ...

[maidee]

after 10 pages, and just read some ...

no reply for OP

1 POST

he is BOARD ... is that english ? for bored ....

TROLLL POST OF THE MONTH

[Si Thea01]

You certainly seem to have some serious problems, but only you and your wife know what gave rise to the situation. Given what you have written, and although we have heard only one side of the storey it appears that the prime cause is money, or the lack of it.

Your post highlights your unhappiness with the failure of a business and your apparent regret of having outlaid funds for your wife's visa. I wonder if this is the vocal point of your many discussions. Maybe your tone relays this to your wife, hence her attitude towards you. Now I am not saying you are totally at fault but remember it takes two to tango.

Given you took your wife to England, am I right in saying no family, then it may be that she felt isolated and alone, it does happen, and when she returned to Thailand, she now has security of her family's support. Not having this in England, now that she's back, she has been able to tell you what she thinks and what you can do with yourself.

Tell me if I am wrong but everything that is happening appears to be getting under you skin and you are being vocal. Your complaining about spending money, spending money, spending money, becomes monotonous after awhile but in doing so It is obvious your unhappy about the extended family using your items and your wife having sold the items cheaply to her family.

I'd say another problem, as you are quite vocal about it and I'd say you would voice your displeasure, and probably quite vocally, is having to look after the father's car. Why does she need your permission to put a photo on Face Book. You're her husband, not her father and she is an adult. If it wasn't derogatory or placed there for nefarious reasons, then what's the problem?

If my wife said she'd kill me and her family agreed, then even if said in the heat of the moment, I'd have done what you have and would not return. I don't know how old she is but given everything you have stated is correct, then maybe you should sit down and think carefully about everything before any decision is made.

Also look at yourself and evaluate what, if any, actions undertaken by yourself has played any role in the present scenario. Also, think very carefully about any actions you decide on and what, if any, repercussions may befall your son because of those decisions. If it were you, then there's no way I would contemplate buying a home., only digging it deeper.

Make sure you meet away from the village, in a busy shopping centre, just as a safeguard for you and your son, considering the threats. In addition, no matter what any of us say on TVF, you have to accept, that in the end, it is you and your wife who have to make the decisions, as it is your, hers and your son's life that these decisions will affect.

Take care and make sure you keep yourself safe.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Si Thea01

[siampolee]

What I find strange is that despite all the responses( 229 preceding this current post) to the O.P. not once has he come back to make a comment either to thank people for their advice or to actually state what action he has, or is taking.

Some extremley good advice here and I feel that if a physical helping hand had been asked for there would have been positive physical responses.

So what conclusion can we come to?

1. He has come to terms with the situation and reconciled with his wife and her family.

2. Saints forbid, his wife made good on the kill promise.

3. He has followed the action in number 1 and is now being held prisoner.

4. He has sold his treasured motorcycle and taken himself and his son back to the U,.K or is possibly still here waiting to go back.

5. A superb troll post.

What do you all think?

Edited March 30, 2015 by siampolee

[mike324]

no money no love, if you want to get together its best you rent an apartment near the town center so you can live a normal life and she can come visit as often. Perhaps start another small business, there are loads of Thai franchise shops you can start for minimal money that can keep your wife busy. Cheap franchise can start as low as 20-30,000 baht for drink related item.

If she's really threatening to kill you, perhaps its time for you to take your kid and leave, but not before you record her threat one last time so you can have full custody of the kid. You are probably clueless about what to do with a 3 year old, but that's the life and path you choose at this age. Good luck.

[mauGR1]

What I find strange is that despite all the responses( 229 preceding this current post) to the O.P. not once has he come back to make a comment either to thank people for their advice or to actually state what action he has, or is taking.

Some extremley good advice here and I feel that if a physical helping hand had been asked for there would have been positive physical responses.

So what conclusion can we come to?

1. He has come to terms with the situation and reconciled with his wife and her family.

2. Saints forbid, his wife made good on the kill promise.

3. He has followed the action in number 1 and is now being held prisoner.

4. He has sold his treasured motorcycle and taken himself and his son back to the U,.K or is possibly still here waiting to go back.

5. A superb troll post.

What do you all think?

I give at least 50 % to n. 5.

Option n. 6, he doesn't care to read the comments, too busy with real life.

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Too embarrassed is more likely

He didn't see it coming

[roo860]

What I find strange is that despite all the responses( 229 preceding this current post) to the O.P. not once has he come back to make a comment either to thank people for their advice or to actually state what action he has, or is taking.

Some extremley good advice here and I feel that if a physical helping hand had been asked for there would have been positive physical responses.

So what conclusion can we come to?

1. He has come to terms with the situation and reconciled with his wife and her family.

2. Saints forbid, his wife made good on the kill promise.

3. He has followed the action in number 1 and is now being held prisoner.

4. He has sold his treasured motorcycle and taken himself and his son back to the U,.K or is possibly still here waiting to go back.

5. A superb troll post.

What do you all think?

Troll.

[mogandave]

Get the son out of harms way

If she threatened to kill you, then your son is your extension, he is not safe

Boys are sold to slavery too, especially light skinned and blonde

Don't play games

Negotiate from the UK and raise him yourself

He is 3

Won't even remember his mother

And when he is 20 he will likely have no father.

If brought up in the UK, at 20 he will be able to look after himself and will be grateful for his father giving him the opportunity to. At 20 and brought up here, he'll probably still be sucking on his mother's tit.

Yes, it's clear from the OP how intelligent, resourceful, wary and sophisticated UK men are.

[mikiea]

Leaving for the UK with the boy is not fair to the mother nor the son. It is her son as well. The best you can do is try to work things out the best you can and try to play some kind of role in the boys life.

Your bargaining chip is that you have a monthly pension, yes?

"fair to the mother & son" what are you smoking? please give the rest of us a hit on it. she threatned to kill him, does not want the child. ....dude, read the post again, this time slowly, its ok you can move your lips i do not care. read it slowly so as not to omit threatned or implied muder. :-)

[rgs2001uk]

Too embarrassed is more likely

He didn't see it coming

Originally he was probably in denial mode, when the gravity of the situation dawned on him he went into acceptance mode, round about now he is probably in anger mode.

'Tis the other side of the coin when we hear about older guys with their young hotties, its like being handed the keys to a sports car, then finding out you cant afford the running costs.

As a friend told me, if you cant afford to play golf, dont buy a set of clubs.

[Pigdog474]

, Everybody has their own way on handling things, I am about your age but thankfully no young kids. If I was in your situation, and my kid had my home countries passport, I would leave and go back home ASAP. Forget the bike or sell it if you can for what ever amount and head straight to the airport with your son and get the hell out of here. If you leave your son behind, since the wife doesn't want him, he will likely be used as an ATM machine to keep the family going. I'm not sure about your health but family on my Dad's side mostly lived into their high 80's and low 90's. so I will most likely be there until my sons becomes a young educated man with a better chance to succeed verses being a poor farmer or tuc-tuc driver.

[Rogergreybeard]

Thai girls more than the boys are brainwashed from the day they are born provide for your family anyway you can Eg you are nothing if you don't look after us!!

[balo]

after 10 pages, and just read some ...

no reply for OP

1 POST

he is BOARD ... is that english ? for bored ....

TROLLL POST OF THE MONTH

Yes 10 pages and one post from the OP that most likely is a troll.

But what did you expect. TIT (This is Thaivisa).

Edited March 30, 2015 by balo