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Posted (edited)

Mudcrab, we don't have Baked Beans in Brisbane... we are not that simple!

But guess what, went for work breakfast meeting this morning and .....................Beans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Serving baked beans for breakfast is just plain mean to the rest of the people in the office.

Edit: Especially the morning after a long night of beer drinking.

Edited by impulse
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Posted

As a long time resident of Thailand often reminds me "This is the best screwed up country in the world"

Posted

Maybe next time just ask for ground beef/pork/turkey/chicken.

Are you sure this US term is used here?

Makro advertise it as MINCED beef.

Posted

A few months ago on a passport run to Trendy ,me and the wife wandered along Sukhumvit and at one stall I saw a nice light cream coloured shirt. The price was right " Do you have it in XL " " Yes hab " came the answer. She hab not though. But she did show me a dark green one , I mean really !

Posted

Yes i love the Thais

This country is my home now.

its far from perfict but !!!!!!, i love them most of the time. wai2.gif

+1...I love Thailand.

Posted

While visiting my bank in Pattaya and then getting out of the rain, I entered a Superstore I had never been in before so thought I would look around and waste some time.

I was shocked to find Kraft Velveeta Cheese in the box and not those cheese slices. I have been here for years and never did I see that anywhere else, so I quickly bought all 4 boxes.

I came back about 3 weeks later and the shelf was still empty so I tried to ask the person working there (through my Thai Wife) and she had no idea what we were talking about.

I came back again another 3 weeks later but this time better prepared. I took the empty Velveeta Cheese Box with me as a picture is better than 1,000 words, but not in Thailand. I showed the person who works in that area the box, and after looking at it carefully said "No have!" "We never sell here!" Now a bit alloyed as we know where we bought this, but still cultured, we asked if we could speak to the manager.

When he came out, I took him to the empty shelf, showed him the box, and asked when they expected another shipment. He studied the box carefully, looked at the empty shelf, then said: "No Have!" "We never sell here!"

We left a bit frustrated and never came back until about 2 months later, when at the bank again. We needed some milk and bread so decided to pop into this store again. To our amusement on that exact same shelf was 3 more boxes of Velveeta Cheese. I wouldn't have been surprised if they just finally pulled it out from the back of the store.

Can you believe that?

Posted

I ordered a chicken breast sandwich but the waitress could not understand me. I pointed to her breasts and clucked like a chicken. She returned with a glass of milk.

Why did not you point to her ass and trumphet like an elephant?

Your killing me man. Tears streaming down my face. What did you expect to get this way? Hahahahahah

Posted

Your attitude and sense of humor will go a long way to smooth over the rough spots in your stay in Thailand...

There are farangs who would have caused a scene to castigate the Thais over this issue...

Enjoy your stay...continue to find humor in the everyday nuances and you will have a happy day...

Posted

I now know where they are sold but once I was looking to buy a bandana and dared to ask the wonderful English speaking ladies at customer service counter, Central KSK.

"Banana no Haaave! You go Tops Market"

Posted

I now know where they are sold but once I was looking to buy a bandana and dared to ask the wonderful English speaking ladies at customer service counter, Central KSK.

"Banana no Haaave! You go Tops Market"

But they cared enough to tell you where to go (and stick your banana). Gotta love that!wub.png

Posted

While visiting my bank in Pattaya and then getting out of the rain, I entered a Superstore I had never been in before so thought I would look around and waste some time.

I was shocked to find Kraft Velveeta Cheese in the box and not those cheese slices. I have been here for years and never did I see that anywhere else, so I quickly bought all 4 boxes.

I came back about 3 weeks later and the shelf was still empty so I tried to ask the person working there (through my Thai Wife) and she had no idea what we were talking about.

I came back again another 3 weeks later but this time better prepared. I took the empty Velveeta Cheese Box with me as a picture is better than 1,000 words, but not in Thailand. I showed the person who works in that area the box, and after looking at it carefully said "No have!" "We never sell here!" Now a bit alloyed as we know where we bought this, but still cultured, we asked if we could speak to the manager.

When he came out, I took him to the empty shelf, showed him the box, and asked when they expected another shipment. He studied the box carefully, looked at the empty shelf, then said: "No Have!" "We never sell here!"

We left a bit frustrated and never came back until about 2 months later, when at the bank again. We needed some milk and bread so decided to pop into this store again. To our amusement on that exact same shelf was 3 more boxes of Velveeta Cheese. I wouldn't have been surprised if they just finally pulled it out from the back of the store.

Can you believe that?

Wow you bought Velveeta cheese?

Why buy garbage cheese that people are shunning in the West for being unhealthy crap?

Big cities in Thailand are increasingly bringing in good food, organic or craft made. Even in the tiny town of Chiang Rai I can get craft cheeses and breads.

Velveeta, seriously?

Posted

OP brought to mind cheese shop sketch from Monty Python.... later sandwich without tomato brought on 5 Easy Pieces breakfast wanting rye toast scene. On youtube, just too lazy to look up...

I recall looking for flashing tail light for bike at Big C. "No have".... I go find it and show it to clerk. He a bit on mad side. C'mon man you just sit on your bum all day... are you not at all curious about what might be in stock in your department (we all know answer to that one).

Posted

I now know where they are sold but once I was looking to buy a bandana and dared to ask the wonderful English speaking ladies at customer service counter, Central KSK.

"Banana no Haaave! You go Tops Market"

Mocking people in a country that doesn't speak your language, especially using an obscure word like bandana is close the the height of ungentlemanly/discourteous behavior.

Let me suggest you try and realize you are not living in America and all people around you don't speak English anymore.

It is one of the reasons I tell people I'm from Monaco or Iceland or any other obscure place where I take little chance of running into classless people like you.

Posted

While visiting my bank in Pattaya and then getting out of the rain, I entered a Superstore I had never been in before so thought I would look around and waste some time.

I was shocked to find Kraft Velveeta Cheese in the box and not those cheese slices. I have been here for years and never did I see that anywhere else, so I quickly bought all 4 boxes.

I came back about 3 weeks later and the shelf was still empty so I tried to ask the person working there (through my Thai Wife) and she had no idea what we were talking about.

I came back again another 3 weeks later but this time better prepared. I took the empty Velveeta Cheese Box with me as a picture is better than 1,000 words, but not in Thailand. I showed the person who works in that area the box, and after looking at it carefully said "No have!" "We never sell here!" Now a bit alloyed as we know where we bought this, but still cultured, we asked if we could speak to the manager.

When he came out, I took him to the empty shelf, showed him the box, and asked when they expected another shipment. He studied the box carefully, looked at the empty shelf, then said: "No Have!" "We never sell here!"

We left a bit frustrated and never came back until about 2 months later, when at the bank again. We needed some milk and bread so decided to pop into this store again. To our amusement on that exact same shelf was 3 more boxes of Velveeta Cheese. I wouldn't have been surprised if they just finally pulled it out from the back of the store.

Can you believe that?

Wow you bought Velveeta cheese?

Why buy garbage cheese that people are shunning in the West for being unhealthy crap?

Big cities in Thailand are increasingly bringing in good food, organic or craft made. Even in the tiny town of Chiang Rai I can get craft cheeses and breads.

Velveeta, seriously?

What is Velveeta cheese used for? Surly not for human consumption. I put some on a mouse trap one time and the mice took the cheese off of the trap and left it about a foot away refusing to eat it.

Posted

OP brought to mind cheese shop sketch from Monty Python.... later sandwich without tomato brought on 5 Easy Pieces breakfast wanting rye toast scene. On youtube, just too lazy to look up...

I recall looking for flashing tail light for bike at Big C. "No have".... I go find it and show it to clerk. He a bit on mad side. C'mon man you just sit on your bum all day... are you not at all curious about what might be in stock in your department (we all know answer to that one).

I was looking up on YouTube anyway so here they are :

and

Still as good as ever.

Posted

My Thai is quite good so i dont usually have any problems in shops and the like. A few years ago i needed to replace a broken part for the steering wheel on my Honda Prelude car. So i went to a Honda dealership. I approached the people on the desk showing them the plastic part and asking them if they had one or could order one. They took a look at it and shook their heads. Really, i said, surely you must have one of these parts. Feeling rather exasperated i finally said again in my best Thai, come on you must have this it fits a Honda Prelude. Aaaw, they said, the Honda dealership is next door, this is Mitsubishi.

Broken faced farang walks out and goes next door...

Posted

I had the same problems finding shoe laces in Phuket. Crazy farang wants shoe laces? No have. Finally found a shoe repair shop in Phuket town but only had one style in black. Eventually found a supplier on the internet and bought two dozen assorted colors and sizes of laces along with assorted colors of good shoe polishes. Seems the only colors of shoe waxes in Thailand are black, brown and neutral. Marine cordovan, oxblood, tan? No have. When I wear out a pair of shoes I always keep the shoelaces.

Posted

Horse meat is very sweet

I've had in France.

But not to my taste.

T

then it wasn't horse meat - there is no way horse meat can be described as 'sweet' !

Beef, pork, horse. Horse is sweet, beef and pork are not. Just in my experience.

Posted

In Europe you would have the option of horse mince beef also

In UK not sure...its a civilised country tongue.png

Ross Foods were found to putting Horsemeat in their "Lasagne".

Must have been delicious. Horse meat is some of the best there is. Yummy!

Posted

Ever thought of learning to speak Thai? I think you live in a country called Thailand. In Thailand Thai's speak Thai. In Germany German's speak German.

Posted

Why is this funny?

Here is a thought.

Go to Baltimore (or any large American city east of the Mississippi) and ask for "Beef Mince"

When they do not know, start laughing in their face.
Just keep laughing and repeating "Beef Mince"

After you get out of the hospital, tell us how funny that day was.

Posted

While visiting my bank in Pattaya and then getting out of the rain, I entered a Superstore I had never been in before so thought I would look around and waste some time.

I was shocked to find Kraft Velveeta Cheese in the box and not those cheese slices. I have been here for years and never did I see that anywhere else, so I quickly bought all 4 boxes.

I came back about 3 weeks later and the shelf was still empty so I tried to ask the person working there (through my Thai Wife) and she had no idea what we were talking about.

I came back again another 3 weeks later but this time better prepared. I took the empty Velveeta Cheese Box with me as a picture is better than 1,000 words, but not in Thailand. I showed the person who works in that area the box, and after looking at it carefully said "No have!" "We never sell here!" Now a bit alloyed as we know where we bought this, but still cultured, we asked if we could speak to the manager.

When he came out, I took him to the empty shelf, showed him the box, and asked when they expected another shipment. He studied the box carefully, looked at the empty shelf, then said: "No Have!" "We never sell here!"

We left a bit frustrated and never came back until about 2 months later, when at the bank again. We needed some milk and bread so decided to pop into this store again. To our amusement on that exact same shelf was 3 more boxes of Velveeta Cheese. I wouldn't have been surprised if they just finally pulled it out from the back of the store.

Can you believe that?

Wow you bought Velveeta cheese?

Why buy garbage cheese that people are shunning in the West for being unhealthy crap?

Big cities in Thailand are increasingly bringing in good food, organic or craft made. Even in the tiny town of Chiang Rai I can get craft cheeses and breads.

Velveeta, seriously?

What is Velveeta cheese used for? Surly not for human consumption. I put some on a mouse trap one time and the mice took the cheese off of the trap and left it about a foot away refusing to eat it.

I think it's meant to be paired with SPAM for your spam 'n cheez sandwiches.

Posted

I watched as an English female tourist (in a group with 3 others) tried to order a green curry without meat.

The waitress replied "yes no meat"

The food came, she started eating it and commented how delicious it was.... then as she scooped deeper into the bowl, she exclaimed "what is this?" and started going "oh my god there is chicken in here!!"

Waitress was called over and the tourist said "I am a vegetarian I can't eat meat!"

The waitress said "Yes no meat. Green chicken curry. No meat."

I've done similar similar but not the identical. Green curry sweet - but I don't want sugar - Gaeng Kiao waan mai waan. It's good for the fun factor, if completely useless in practice.

Posted

Yes i love the Thais

This country is my home now.

its far from perfict but !!!!!!, i love them most of the time. wai2.gif

I must have missed that day at school.

So you're supposed to love everyone in the country you happen to live in?wub.png

Sounds tiring! crying.gif

Especially if you're French. huh.png

I think that Jingthing's point shows a healthy perspective for his adopted country.

His (or hers') comments sure beat the a$$ off the TVF members who have nothing good to say about the Kingdom.

Good attitude Jingthing. I appreciate Thai people too.

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