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Posted

Everything here regarding personal relationships is a business arrangement. If you think otherwise you are a fool. Once you realise and accept this its fine, just arrange things to your satisfaction. If marriage is part of the arrangement then fine, but if you have kids then realise they are going to swing the balance over to your wife in a big way.

What do you get out of marriage here? Lock yourself into one woman and her family that makes it a nightmare to get out of if and when it goes sour? Think your living in paradise? Its only a paradise because its cheap. Admit it. Your happy you have a maid, nanny and sex partner all rolled into one? You can have a live in maid for, less than 10,000 a month. What does your wife milk you for a month?

I think your post is uncalled for..We don't want to know about your experience........rolleyes.gif

Touchy, very touchy, and you are in a business arrangement with a woman with baggage ie. two kids that hate you. Your many posts on here say just that.

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Posted

My wife & i were blissfully happy for over 35 years------- then we met.......coffee1.gif

Its an old joke I know--but I really do not think that the divorce rate is that high---in comparison to the west--

Latest statistics (published December 2012) estimate that 42% of first marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. A higher figure for 2nd marriages.

America 40-50% in the first marriage----up to 60% in the 2nd marriage http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

More than every other person in the west on a 2nd marriage getting divorced----is that what your seeing here ??

We are just about dealing in 100% 2nd marriages for the guys in Thailand---& honestly, maybe I am moving in different circles , but most I know are just so F%**king grateful for what they have got here ---compared to back home. The break up figures I know of are so much lower then when I get a letter from Oz .....usually telling me so & so have split & so have ....etc ....etc

One of the problems I have seen when living in Pattaya for a number of years was---- the opposite to the common saying...... You can take the girl out the bar but you cant take the bar out,,,,,,,etc ..etc....... No it was usually the guy you couldn't take out of the bar from what I saw-----he got married & still thought he would carry on as before----then sat wondering why she left.

There are faults on both sides of course-----wish they had figures to show us the stats----thing about being on Thai-Visa...... is that you usually get bad stories, as the saying goes---good news doesn't sell, Come on & say your really happy & the thread will last half a page----------come up with a story about being ripped off & it will be a tomb .

Not sure where you get those divorce rates from - the official figure for Thailand is something over 1 in 3. However, that ignores the fact that many 'marriages' are village weddings that do not get recorded.

I think the rate is much higher - and I doubt many of those gals in Pattaya or Nana are happily married!

My partner is from a 'normal' Isaan family and has 8 bothers and sisters - 6 have been divorced, 1 brother became a monk and the 'still married' sister hates her husband with a passion.

In Canada I am the youngest in 5 children.

My oldest brother has been divorced 3 times, and now lives with a woman unmarried.

My second oldest brother has been divorced 1 time.

My sister 1 time.

My other brother 1 time,

And me 2 times.

So our Family Sibling Divorce Rate is 160%.

So is Canada better or worst than the divorce rates in Thailand?

My point being that one page does not make a book nor does 1 family reflect that countries divorce rate.

My point was that not one of the marriages in my partner's family were registered at the amphur so were 'under the radar' as far as official stats go.

And the many Common Law relationships that break up in your country, are counted?

I think not.

In Poland a division of property includes the Flat (apartment) they own but not the way you expect. It isn't sold but rather is divided between the 2 of them where they share common areas like the bathroom and kitchen. As you can see there is no point in them getting a divorce if they still have to live with the person they are trying to divorce. So this to keeps the official divorce rates lower.

I think we both can agree that the Official Divorce Rate of any country is not correct and underestimated. Which is scary when the Divorce Rate is already hanging around 50%.

Posted

I even don't understand why after having screwed hundreds of biaches some people still want to live with any of them ! For what ? Even screwing them is less and less interesting in my opinion, but maybe I had too much before <3

Posted

I even don't understand why after having screwed hundreds of biaches some people still want to live with any of them ! For what ? Even screwing them is less and less interesting in my opinion, but maybe I had too much before <3

Perhaps you are a closet gay ?

You can come out, there is no stigma nowadays

Posted

To get back to the original question ;

I Marriend again because:

I have a lovely wife ( and a lovely family ) and marrying is costing me 5 x less money than it would cost me back 'home'. Because it delivers the family a lot of respect and win of face. Because the wedding party was a blast again, great fun with great people.

Because I live here and love Thai curture and an interesting wedding, a good reason to invite friends. And I like to see my loving wife happy.

Because after years of living together, I liked to help the family with some things, and a sin sod is the best way to do it.

And I love my marriage visum, most of all... no more 90 day runs to Ranong, and no more yearly visum trip ( and hassles paperwork and insecurity if I get the one year visum every year ).

You mention a love of a lot of things...but not once do you mention your love for your wife......interesting.[/quote

He forgot the love of his life,himself.

Posted

I do not want to marry again and will not do do under any set of circumstances.I also do not enjoy living alone. It is possible to find a younger lady that will live with you and take care of you by becoming a housekeeper/companion at a specified monthly rate of compensation. I am now 76 years old and was married to my Thai wife for 23 years before she succumbed to cancer in January. of this year at age 57. Two houses of course were in her name and in accordance with what my wife would have wanted went to two of her sisters with my absolute consent. They have been terrific in taking care of me for the last 5 months with daily stop-bys bringing food, doing housekeeping chores, laundry, etc. Would have been very difficult without them. I now have a 35-year old live-in that has been here all of 3 weeks but it looks like she might last. She now has health insurance for accidents, a bank account which she never had before, and a gym membership. She knows that she can make trips to see her 3-year old daughter in Nong Khai as as often as she likes. There is no expectation of love but I hope a mutual fondness and sense of caring develops both ways - so far, so good, kniock on wood. If she does last I will amend my last will and testament to compensate her for however long she has looked after me. Probably some factor of how long vs.hiow much a month. If the timing permits I will establish another banki account to handle the "separation" compensation. Can anyone think of anything else I should consider such as sending her to school to learn some kind of a trade that would provide some income after my demise? Constructive comments appreciated.

Can't you do the chores yourself?

Posted

It doesn't matter where you are in the world ... just get married because YOU want to, not for ANY other reason! I have been with my girl for 9 years now and 2 kids later we are as happy as Larry and never married ... if it feels good, do it but otherwise ....

Hope you provided for your wife and kids after you are gone as not being married means she has no rights in this country, and probably yours.

All rubbish of course.My long time gf has rights over everything,including house and super in another country.Every heard of a will?

Posted

One sister divorced. Other sister 3 kids didn't marry. Brothers married. In think one of my brothers was married before.

My Thai wife divorced. Her sister 2 times and now longtime married. Brother still married.

I've been divorced twice. Long story. But very happy with my Thai wife. Didn't think I'd be compatible with Thai culture but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As far as relationships go.

Some of us want to be married even if we have to keep trying and dream of being playboys.

People do and can change. And or they meet the right person.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Marriage is great if you find the right one. Going on 10 wonderful years! Can't imagine life without her! She loves the U.S. And has assimilated quite well over the years.

Posted

Marriage was once a tradition.....that had sound reasons (family cohesiveness) to justify it.

Through the years, men ran the family, and their names were passed on to the children (western societies). Soon, hereditiary laws, taxes, credit and all the legal complications were linked to marriages, simplifying the settlement of "issues" with beneficiaries and divorces..as well as property ownership.

Women's rights and government sympathy now give great power to women (in the West)...and the scales are tipped in their favor. However, modern times have outrun legislature. Wives now hold good paying jobs (in the West), and the men are not protected when a divorce settlement is issued. Thus we flock to Asia ..some of us hoping to live cheaper, thus negating the effects of prior divorces. However, Thailand has ways of taking our money before the marriage ever happens... Sin Sot and no property rights are examples. It is like you cannot win..for losing. If you take them to your home country, it is even worse. Most already paid sin sot and put land/homes in the names of their wives in Thailand....but additionally,..made their wives citizens in their home country and thus giving them more (through a divorce settlement)...should the marriage go awry.

Bottom line is....men are pretty stupid, and women are much smarter. Old guys like us should be shacking up, renting quarters, and not issuing citizenship to the girls. You can live here and do a simple buddha ceremony....and take care of your gal... but you should forgo the Legal Bindings of Western marriages. She wills stay with you forever...anyways....if you are good, and take care of her. Western Marriages are bear traps, aimed at locking you, financially, into a marriage..and penalizing you for a divorce.

(None of this pertains to those who have the "Perfect Marriage"....the few that they are.

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