thaibeachlovers Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Sad to say.....but I guess your "so-called" friends weren't really your friends then I went back to australia 3 years ago,i asked my oldest son if i could possibly stay with him and his wife.Was asked for "how long"...i said 1 week.The response i got was 3 days would be ok! Your lucky, I dont even get that. When I was doing visa runs to oz for pension residency they never once invited me to stay in their spare room... As another poster remarked to a similar post- you know what to do with your will. You should also add an explanation as to why he isn't getting a cent just in case he tries to challenge it in court. My nephew exibited very bad attitude to me when I last visited my sister. Soon as I got home he was out of my will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I've lived in Thailand only a few years. I used to return once a year to the U.S. to visit relatives. Every year I returned it became more and more uncomfortable. More drama, more laying on of guilt and blame for my "selfish" decision to live on the other side of the planet, (even though I'm retired and on a meager income that would make it nearly impossible to live in America). Quite frankly, although I love my family, I don't see a return to the U.S. in my future unless someone dies, maybe not even then. I agree with you. I too tried to keep friendships alive at home on my visits there, but every time there were less, and the only friends I have now are about 7 people that I know will give me a welcome, and that will not change till I die ( unless I stuff it up ). Sometimes it only takes a chance remark, with no ill intent, to terminate a "friendship", but I guess that means they were never a real friend anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 This is a good thread. I too have reached the point where, after being here for 8 years, there is very little to go back to Canada for. I have a brother who refuses to make any effort to stay in touch which really upsets me but I have slowly come to realize that Thailand is my home now and that there is no "returning home" any more. My brother disappeared to Canada and dropped of the face of the earth. Haven't seen or heard from him in about 24 years. Don't even know if he is still alive. I tried to keep in touch but he couldn't be bothered and all contact was lost. We had not argued and were on good terms. Some people are just like that. My father hasn't heard from him in 20 years either. Absolutely no reason. They used to get on well. Sorry to hear that, but you don't really know if it was just that he "couldn't be bothered" or some deeper psychological reason. The human mind is a strange organ at the best of times. Actually I do believe he has some attachment issues, which are probably a result of our parents divorcing when he was only 8 years old. I was 5. I am probably screwed up in other ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexpotter Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Wis the US wasn't so dam far away. The Jet Lag just kills me. Last Chance Texaco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fey Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I never bothered to maintain "friendships" in my home country. It's a world away and there are plenty of new people around to meet where you are now. I must admit however that the fleeting type friendships i see all over in thailand has become tiresome. More just like barstool banter or "where u from?" because most are passing through esp if your in the younger bracket. Of course, anyone can get arsed. Just ask the guy on the left in my profile pic. I did him on all fronts then we were having a beer and my buddy took that shot. Hope i never see him again and i wont be maintaining any long distance relationships with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huawei Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 It's important to maintain friendships in your home country and also here. It is apart of who you are. Having foreigners as friends is vitally important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnacarta Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 What is the ratio regarding expats who prefer Thailand.I have not read all the posts,but there seems to be a majority of Yanks.If this is the case then it might be telling us something.Perhaps a useful informative survey could be done for a change that would give us more of an insight,but what do I know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexpotter Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 Interesting that this topic is still alive. I started it spontaneously from the bottom of my heart, really just kind of hurting when I realized by leaving my tribe I must have angered them in some way and that to go back would encompass much more than a lot of money. I only live now with a fantasy of how I believe it should have been, if I had indeed gone back recently. But each time I did go, in those 16 years, I could see the connnections breaking, the invitations to visit slower to come. I thank all for the good personal comments here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 What is the ratio regarding expats who prefer Thailand.I have not read all the posts,but there seems to be a majority of Yanks.If this is the case then it might be telling us something.Perhaps a useful informative survey could be done for a change that would give us more of an insight,but what do I know? Take a look at the USD to baht exchange rate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 What is the ratio regarding expats who prefer Thailand.I have not read all the posts,but there seems to be a majority of Yanks.If this is the case then it might be telling us something.Perhaps a useful informative survey could be done for a change that would give us more of an insight,but what do I know?Take a look at the USD to baht exchange rate. What do exchange rates tell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 What is the ratio regarding expats who prefer Thailand.I have not read all the posts,but there seems to be a majority of Yanks.If this is the case then it might be telling us something.Perhaps a useful informative survey could be done for a change that would give us more of an insight,but what do I know?Take a look at the USD to baht exchange rate. What do exchange rates tell? Pensions of US expats have gone up dramatically in the past few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 My daughter said, Dad this room is yours if you ever come back, nice of her to say but I am sure it is only temporary and her husband who is is a lovely lad would soon be saying how long is Dad staying. You'd make a great Steptoe nev! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atpeace Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Really have little desire and life in Thailand is not all that bad. Travel continuosly throughout the country and enjoy most days. Currently sitting my patio overlooking beach and simply relaxing. Could do this back home if I returned but it would take too much preperation. My best freind since childhood is coming out to see me in a few months and still loosely stay in touch with others back home. Life seems to treating me good here in Thailand. Just experienced the most challenging 2 months of my life(48 yo) after a bad accident and still feel good about Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I dont think I lost the plot, I just thought I would be more welcome. Last time i was back nobody wanted to hear anything about my life overseas. I am not sure if it is jealousy or fear. I have not changed that much and saying I have burned bridges may not be the correct way to say it. But after we are gone for an amount of time perhpas we are seen as traitors or something. We left the clan and did not contue to go through that hardship they deal with. This is partly true. We are living outside the comfort zones of most people back home. I think people who stay at home are insular in their thoughts and forget about the people who have left. However us expats are different. We've traveled and lived outside our comfort zones and guess what? We're happy!! We reminisce about our home countries and in our minds and memories time has stood still at home. However, our friends at home have moved on and forgotten about us..When we go back we assume that its the same at home as when we left.But its not. Our friends and family have grown older...So in some ways time has moved on for our friends but in our own minds and memories time froze when we left all those years ago. That's what i discovered after moving home two times in the past ten years. One of the main differences was some of my friends started to be slightly formal with me.Just small things. Like calling me by my first name instead of my nickname. However they were, and are, still my friends. I'm probably lucky because my friends are all childhood friends who still live in my small village.They will probably never leave so they are always happy to see me.... In conclusion I think Time is what changes everything even more than distance. That and a lack of contact. The internet has shortened the distance and changed how we keep in touch. Clicking like on a picture on facebook is a subtle way of contact and helps to keep us alive in the memories of those at home... Who would want to be kept alive in the memories of something so shallow as social media,which is about as low as true feelings get! IMHO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai at Heart Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) Went back after 16 years. Still loving being free from conformity and learning again how much better opportunities are here. Edited August 27, 2015 by Thai at Heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Life is all about choices. You make them and then along comes the consequences. If one is not happy with the consequence, one changes the action, simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokesaat Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 What is the ratio regarding expats who prefer Thailand.I have not read all the posts,but there seems to be a majority of Yanks.If this is the case then it might be telling us something.Perhaps a useful informative survey could be done for a change that would give us more of an insight,but what do I know?Take a look at the USD to baht exchange rate. What do exchange rates tell? Pensions of US expats have gone up dramatically in the past few months. And from history, it would be wise not to get used to those higher rates. Take advantage of it while you can.....hope that it lasts.....but be prepared for the rates to fall back to normal levels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I am starting to feel the same. Not belonging anywhere. However, I have a strategy I am trialing for that exact eventuality. .I have a "back home" group in my email program & send everyone on it, a semi-regular news letter on my doings every 3-6 months. Don't forget, we left them and toddled off overseas, not the reverse. Most of us find we have plenty of spare time so start it in MS Word & add to it, until ready to send. So it is not difficult. Keep them all in a in a "Newsletters back home" directory as notes for the book you will write one day on your adventures. (555) The psychology is that it is to make them feel that I have not abandoned them. If I ever go back home I do not want to go back as a stranger. I'll let you know in 10 years more or so if it is working. (555 again) However, seven years is a bit long to leave it without showing face & pressing the flesh. "He's got a damned cheek. Nothing for 7 years and then he wants to come & stay with us. Will we be able to get rid of him after the two weeks he mentioned? I wonder if he has even driven a car or whether his US D.L. is still current?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) What do exchange rates tell? Pensions of US expats have gone up dramatically in the past few months. And from history, it would be wise not to get used to those higher rates. Take advantage of it while you can.....hope that it lasts.....but be prepared for the rates to fall back to normal levels. I bought a new phone, all new clothes, computer, sound system, printer, cooking stuff on and on and I've still got the same amount in the bank that I had at this time last year. I always thought normal was 40 baht to the dollar which it was for the first few years I was here on a full time basis. And the economy was chugging along at a good pace. I think 40 is the sweet spot if the BOT is reading this. Edited August 28, 2015 by lostoday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartempion Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) Strange topic. I have more than just a room waiting for me in Brussels and something similar in Montreal. 7 September on my way to Brussels and two weeks later on to Montreal. Will be back in LOS 15 October. I will be happy to see my 5 year girl again when back, but missing Thailand? I dunno. Where is home? I am the wanderer. Edited August 28, 2015 by tartempion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 No fear! No valid reason. My home is here in LOS. The North is ideal - nature, people. It has it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutty Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Two daughters and a son back in UK eldest daughter fine with me being here youngest and son haven't spoke to me since I've been here tried to reason with them told them I'd always be there for them but nothing in UK for me wife passed of cancer and life was pretty shit moved here life is great in comparison. Memories will last forever and now I share new memories. Finally got to the bottom of the two kids problem with me being here MONEY in there words and I'm still stunned by this "YOUR SPENDING OUR INHERITANCE" !!!!!!! Over the years we set them up gave them money for deposit on house and generally did all we could for th I was truly devastated by there response so was the eldest daughter. Anyways net result eldest daughter gets whatever is left other two get the dog poo off my shoes. Will changed in UK accordingly. However I can't see there will be a lot left as I plan on enjoying the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I decided to spend all my money in Thailand in January 2013, the Germans were completely shocked. Nothing has changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGImInPattaya Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 This is what happens when you plan your life without sufficient funds. This post should be titled "Can't afford to go home...even to visit." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 No. I don't want to go back to the prison called Germany. I'm afraid they would not let me go back home to Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puukao Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 There are a zillion factors. How old are you? married, kids, debt, parents, work, etc...........some people can't do the cubicle for 100-years, some can. some like organized chaos. some like to be different. some like to escape. some like change, most hate it. the normal progression is school, work, marriage, kids, house, and then retire. some here likely go to school, work, travel, get bored at work, work, travel, and end up in Thailand. Other factors are the economy and health. Sure, greece and italy and spain might be better, but not right now. they are disasters. and for me, a westerner, i want VERY different....not just a little different. sure, should have picked Africa or India or even Myanmar, but i guess i didn't want it that different. my family sold their home, my home growing up. i've lived in 10 different cities......my gut tells me where i like to live and who i want to be friends with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGImInPattaya Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 There are a zillion factors. How old are you? married, kids, debt, parents, work, etc...........some people can't do the cubicle for 100-years, some can. some like organized chaos. some like to be different. some like to escape. some like change, most hate it. the normal progression is school, work, marriage, kids, house, and then retire. some here likely go to school, work, travel, get bored at work, work, travel, and end up in Thailand. Other factors are the economy and health. Sure, greece and italy and spain might be better, but not right now. they are disasters. and for me, a westerner, i want VERY different....not just a little different. sure, should have picked Africa or India or even Myanmar, but i guess i didn't want it that different. my family sold their home, my home growing up. i've lived in 10 different cities......my gut tells me where i like to live and who i want to be friends with. And what, like Thailand isn't a "disaster" right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB1955 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Last year I went back to the US after being gome for 5 years . The first few days were a little stressful .brought back so good and bad memories . But after that all was good and I just counted the days to come baxk home ..... Nothing there interests me anymore saw it and that was all I needed.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Went back to Germany last year for 3 weeks. Disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomyai Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Sad to say.....but I guess your "so-called" friends weren't really your friends then would you let a guy freeload ? one you havent seen if 16 years? op sounds like a TOOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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