Will you find the trap? (bar girl...)

[georgemandm]

Why would a guy show a girl he has only just met, prostitute or not, his bank books and details of income? Must be desperate.

6 years ago, before it closed down, I became a regular customer at a massage parlour in the town. Each time I would get the same girl. She spoke very good bar girl Yinglish and became very chatty with me. Most of it was a bit irritating, the usual hard luck stories, alcoholic husband who left her destitute, kid in the care of a temple, grandfather needs an eye operation, mother recovering from motorbike accident, uncle dying of cancer, sick buffalo and the usual BS and crap.

After a few weeks, out of the blue she asked me if I loved her? I was taken back and was quite honest and said no. She went on to explain that she already has a 62 year old Dutch husband, but after talking to her more about it, I established that the Dutch guy was already married and paying her 20000 baht a month as a minor wife, meaning, she is available each time the Dutch guy wanted to have boom boom. Then she discretely hinted, would I be interested in the same deal. I made it absolutely clear that I`m not interested in that sort of arrangement, and I did not show her my personal bank statements to prove I don`t have the money. She actually said to me; she knows I have a lot of money and I replied; yes I do and my aim is to keep it.

After that, surprise, surprise, the girl lost her enthusiasm towards me and the following time I visited the massage parlour she was plying her tactics onto some other mug. A few weeks later the parlour shut down. Don`t know what happened to the girl and didn`t care.

It`s all about money and those who are gullible enough to fall for the fake chames and lovey dovey exploits of these women, deserve all what they get coming to them. Guys always get the women they deserve.

Great the best post I have read here in one year I have been on here

[Cereal]

Polar opposite opinions seem to abound here. It's very possible to meet a bar girl and fall in love and have a happy life together. I'm betting many guys here are in that position. Now, it may have taken them 2 times, maybe more, to find the right girl, but that's their issue.

The trick is, in my opinion, to get the girl out of the bar scene before the bar scene wraps the girl around its insidious finger and she gets lost in the vicious circle of partying, boozing and screwing anyone to keep the party going. Very few, if any, girls walk into the bar scene all washed up and used. Predominantly they look at it as a way to escape the cycle life has put them in.

At 18, I would take a bet the girl hasn't been in the bar scene very long. It's perfectly likely she's a nice girl and to her 20K a month is a lot of money because it comes from a "real" job. Also, there is the potential for more income.

I would say hang out, have some fun, keep your wits about you. If you feel you're being pressured too soon for anything, walk away. If she or her parents start talking about how the house needs a new roof, or they "really like" Toyota Vigos, or grandma needs an operation...these are red flags. Walk away.

Until then, enjoy and remember, if things do not feel right, walk. There's a lot of women around and you are young, time is very much on your side.

[givenall]

Wait a month and don't pay her for sex any more and eat and see. In the mean time postpone going to se her family till month is over. I am sure you will see the light

[krisb]

Jesus everyone's so quick to put this guy in his place.

Go have fun with her mate, enjoy. There is no trap. Maybe she was going home for a visit anyway and now has invited you.

If you want to start getting serious with a bar girl then that's your choice, good luck I say.

[jerojero]

Just f..k her brains out nightly every night and see if she sticks with you. Then you'll know if you have a keeper.

Edited July 17, 2015 by jerojero

[bearpolar]

Polar opposite opinions seem to abound here. It's very possible to meet a bar girl and fall in love and have a happy life together. I'm betting many guys here are in that position. Now, it may have taken them 2 times, maybe more, to find the right girl, but that's their issue.

The trick is, in my opinion, to get the girl out of the bar scene before the bar scene wraps the girl around its insidious finger and she gets lost in the vicious circle of partying, boozing and screwing anyone to keep the party going. Very few, if any, girls walk into the bar scene all washed up and used. Predominantly they look at it as a way to escape the cycle life has put them in.

At 18, I would take a bet the girl hasn't been in the bar scene very long. It's perfectly likely she's a nice girl and to her 20K a month is a lot of money because it comes from a "real" job. Also, there is the potential for more income.

I would say hang out, have some fun, keep your wits about you. If you feel you're being pressured too soon for anything, walk away. If she or her parents start talking about how the house needs a new roof, or they "really like" Toyota Vigos, or grandma needs an operation...these are red flags. Walk away.

Until then, enjoy and remember, if things do not feel right, walk. There's a lot of women around and you are young, time is very much on your side.

Optimistic and a nice post.

We're always quick to think of bargirls as scums but they are not all scums. The proportions of scums is the same for regular people and bargirls. It's high everywhere! Im always quick to judge as well but when you think about it, what 14 year old boy hasnt said a million times "If i were a girl, id be a massive slag"?

This 18yo might only go with guys she find attractive, it's not different than having fun and getting rewarded for it.

[huawei]

They have other opportunities to work. They primarily do it because they are lazy, uneducated and want " big money quick ",They have a preconceived idea of foreigners from the day they start..they know they are at the bottom of the totem pole with Thais...not a good base to start from....when they are 30 years of age the characteristics will probably be the same..it's a fools game...

[bentarm44]

another low season, she's homesick

[lanng khao]

They have other opportunities to work. They primarily do it because they are lazy, uneducated and want " big money quick ",They have a preconceived idea of foreigners from the day they start..they know they are at the bottom of the totem pole with Thais...not a good base to start from....when they are 30 years of age the characteristics will probably be the same..it's a fools game...

uneducated but clever enough to kid middle age men out of thousands of pounds, dollars etc and leave them homeless..

[Satcommlee]

Too many cynical old men on this forum to get a good response! Enough said!

[RakJungTorlae]

I am a optimistic person, i do not get involved with bar girls but i do know not all of them are bad. but i got a bad feeling about this one. you are young and Bangkok is full of descent girls, ive been to sisaket and its hard core easan shit hole. i could really say alot to get you not to go but ill say this. she might be a nice girl and likes you. but do you want to get involved with someone and her family who thinks its ok to pimp them out in a bar for sex and money? would you pimp out ur own daughter to a bar? maybe she is working secretly but i doubt it. DONT GO!

[rijit]

I don't see a trap although their could be one later on. If you're 60 or more then watch out but I suspect you're much younger. So go to Sisaket with her and enjoy yourself.

Agreed, but dont get married.

rijit

[juice777]

It's against the law for a prostitute to be under 20.

The bar is breaking the law and may be punished by a huge fine.

You too.

And that's the trap, her family will have you arrested, and blackmail you for a huge amount of money to be let out of jail.

It's amazing how fast a poor foreigner can find 250,000bht when being held in a Thai jail.

The legal age for prostitution is 18, no risks at all for the customer.

see the Prostitution suppression act:

http://www.ilo.org/dyn/natlex/docs/WEBTEXT/46403/65063/E96THA01.htm

Regarding the legal age for working in a bar, please provide an official legal source.

It would be nice if posters could try to stop spreading myths and urban legends about the illegality of prostitution.

When stating something is illegal, please include a reference to the relevant article(s) of a Thai Law that currently is in application.

if this is right just then you have nothing to worry about apart from maybe the family

she 18 so ant been in the bar for long so there is a high chance she ant interested in money with you even more so if she ant got kids

I was your age once and in Thailand and believe me at that age they don't all want money some just want fun or love

but if you ask me its all a bit serious after 4 days i think you should take advantage of the dating apps what I did not have in my day and play the filed with plenty of more Thais your sort of age before you get old and fat and bitter and have to pay for it all the time

[samuibeachcomber]

I don't see a trap although their could be one later on. If you're 60 or more then watch out but I suspect you're much younger. So go to Sisaket with her and enjoy yourself.

I'm 22

bar girls are clever,just like a fisherman catching a fish the bait is added(short time),no mention of money after,she may even buy you little inexpensive things to dull your senses.Beware the "hit" will come later.

You can do better,university girls,girls working in shops,girls that have real jobs still want to be taken care of with someone that has some money to support them.Going to sisaket is a bad idea in my opinion.Just keep shagging and smiling,by all means pay your dues and move on to the next one.You will soon understand everything because it will all be repeated to you over and over again like a broken record.

Not great advice at 22. May be better to take a shot at the real thing when your young and don't have that much cash.

Things don't get easier as you get older.

* Nice to know you learned to read. Hope my post is not too advanced intellectually for your small brain.

I thought it was great advice,at 22 i was in bangkok at the height of the vietnam war being taken care by a bar girl(i had no money) and i dont remember asking her to show me her monthly stipend!

[AZBill]

She thinks you're lying. All farang are rich you know!

[hellohello123]

umm.. I have three words for you.....or four......or a sentence

Are you for real???

Whaddahelll is wrong with you?????

[bearpolar]

It's against the law for a prostitute to be under 20.

The bar is breaking the law and may be punished by a huge fine.

You too.

And that's the trap, her family will have you arrested, and blackmail you for a huge amount of money to be let out of jail.

It's amazing how fast a poor foreigner can find 250,000bht when being held in a Thai jail.

The legal age for prostitution is 18, no risks at all for the customer.

see the Prostitution suppression act:

http://www.ilo.org/dyn/natlex/docs/WEBTEXT/46403/65063/E96THA01.htm

Regarding the legal age for working in a bar, please provide an official legal source.

It would be nice if posters could try to stop spreading myths and urban legends about the illegality of prostitution.

When stating something is illegal, please include a reference to the relevant article(s) of a Thai Law that currently is in application.

if this is right just then you have nothing to worry about apart from maybe the family

she 18 so ant been in the bar for long so there is a high chance she ant interested in money with you even more so if she ant got kids

I was your age once and in Thailand and believe me at that age they don't all want money some just want fun or love

but if you ask me its all a bit serious after 4 days i think you should take advantage of the dating apps what I did not have in my day and play the filed with plenty of more Thais your sort of age before you get old and fat and bitter and have to pay for it all the time

You are talking as if someone going to the bars for women is too good for the women that work there.. No he isnt.

Anyone going regulary to those kind of bars after a month or two of thailand is not going to be able to get a normal woman anywhere because hes NOT normal himself.

He's either going to get a semi-slave/servant for a wife or a bargirl. Be realistic.

Also don't forget that 95% of the world only cares about money, not just bargirls. They are just more upfront about it.

[NickJ]

Age of consent....15 there can be no renumeration. At age 18 there can be renumeration. However you cannot live or marry without parental consent....Nobody under 20 can work in a bar.

With the renumeration there can be no middleman/pimp as that is illegal.

When you pay a bar. fine its to compensate the employer for lost work.

[xjbond]

Age of consent....15 there can be no renumeration. At age 18 there can be renumeration. However you cannot live or marry without parental consent....Nobody under 20 can work in a bar.

With the renumeration there can be no middleman/pimp as that is illegal.

When you pay a bar. fine its to compensate the employer for lost work.

The correct word is "remuneration". This will make much more sense of your post.

[elliss]

They will kidnap you and sell your internal organs.

Good idea, his brain , has less value than a euro.

[lujanit]

OP, just have fun but get yourself a little education as well just incase marriage gets mentioned. Have you ever heard of Sin Soht? If not head over to stickmanbangkok and read "The Case against Sin Sohtand other reasons not to give Thai women money" This article should be essential reading for anybody contemplating marriage to a thai particularly so if she is a bargirl.

[bwpage3]

If you ever hung out in the red-zones in Bangkok, you always see the younger bar girls riding in to work on the back of a scooter with their boyfriends.

I am sure even bar girls love someone and many have boyfriends who let them go work and spend the money that she earns.

That being said, rural Thai girls, no matter what you tell them or show them as evidence, always believe the farang will have money hidden somewhere (rich family).

Sooner or later, when it comes time for Sin Sod and other things, the real truth gets out and there is an ugly ending you don't want any part of.

The ops income will never afford anything. That wouldn't even be enough if he was staying at her house in Isaan and paying the bills.

It never ends well when the truth is revealed there is no money.

[peptidebomber]

Wow, so many bitter old men on here who are obviously talking from their own experiences of being burned by their own stupidity.

To the OP, go for it you have nothing to lose and if you enjoy spending time with her then that's what you should do.

People going on why a 22 year old is paying for sex, really?? I've never had a bar girl but have never had free sex. Picking up a girl here or at home costs money, dinner drinks taxis etc. Sleeping with a hiso girl costs a lot more money than paying for a hooker.

[lanng khao]

Khwarm rak gin Mai dai, who knows what it means..

[lanng khao]

Met my bird five years ago, all you bellends who think you can't be with a girl worked in a bar are clueless, so much up your own arse it's fukin unberlievable, jai yen yen, relax, and get on with your own life instead of stalking other people...

[faraday]

Met my bird five years ago, all you bellends who think you can't be with a girl worked in a bar are clueless, so much up your own arse it's fukin unberlievable, jai yen yen, relax, and get on with your own life instead of stalking other people...

Nah mate, they all marry hi so virgins, that's why they're like that.

[bentarm44]

i wonder what happened................

[alexlm]

Nothing really happened for now... we still stay in Pattaya...

She stayed with me one month now, 100% of the time. I mean it's sure 100% that she didn't see any other men during this time since she has always been a few meters from me...

She found a cheap condo in Sisaket and we should move there soon. While her parents will live about 30km from us, since they are not living inside the city of Sisaket.

I didn't see any trap until now...

[ericnoodeeka]

I'll admit, I am assuming you are beyond 2 years of age...maybe way beyond. ( your profile does not list your age )

I must ask, if you are serious or if this is another troll post?

You are paying to play with a child!

If your post is a serious one, she is playing you.

Did you know the human brain does not fully mature until about 222 years of age???

You should grow up and find a woman.

Leave the children alone.

If not, you will get exactly what you deserve.

P.S. How can you justify paying a child or anyone for sex if you only have 4000 to your name?

With an income of only 20,000 per month, you will barely have enough money to survive in Thailand..and you are spending it on an 18 year old "starfish"??

You are well on your way to becoming one of those sorry expats we see sleeping on a Bangkok sidewalk in broad daylight.

Go home, earn some real money , save for your future and come back when you can afford to live here.

Again, grow up!

what a freaky reply. so a 22 year old cant date a 18 year old???

u say child?? is that u were 50 when u dated ur 20 year old child?? what a very strange reply, utter nonsense.

i have no idea of your age, but u never dated an 18 year old when u were 20???

[brewsterbudgen]

I'll admit, I am assuming you are beyond 2 years of age...maybe way beyond. ( your profile does not list your age )

I must ask, if you are serious or if this is another troll post?

You are paying to play with a child!

If your post is a serious one, she is playing you.

Did you know the human brain does not fully mature until about 222 years of age???

You should grow up and find a woman.

Leave the children alone.

If not, you will get exactly what you deserve.

P.S. How can you justify paying a child or anyone for sex if you only have 4000 to your name?

With an income of only 20,000 per month, you will barely have enough money to survive in Thailand..and you are spending it on an 18 year old "starfish"??

You are well on your way to becoming one of those sorry expats we see sleeping on a Bangkok sidewalk in broad daylight.

Go home, earn some real money , save for your future and come back when you can afford to live here.

Again, grow up!

what a freaky reply. so a 22 year old cant date a 18 year old???

u say child?? is that u were 50 when u dated ur 20 year old child?? what a very strange reply, utter nonsense.

i have no idea of your age, but u never dated an 18 year old when u were 20???

There are indeed some very strange posts on this thread!