Why young Isaan ladies marry old farangs?

[Linky]

I am 67yo - wife is 36yo. We have been together for 11 years. She has no Chinese blood.

When you was 36 did you want to bonk a 67 year old woman ? No its disgusting. When you was 25 did you want to bonk a 56 year old hag ? Disgusting

can't you read ... no he didn't, so he didn't ... he went the younger route ..

Can't you?.... brling was 'reversing' the Male vs Female situation / age gap with a hypothetical question.....

For a 25 or a 36 year old male it would seem disgusting to 'bonk' a woman 21 years your elder.... or for most it would.

So why is that not any different for women? or is it and we just think its ok?....

Would a financially independant, educated, attractive young lady really be interested in someone 20+ years her senior? or would she prefer someone closer to her own age and status?

Yes because women are different. My girlfriends in the west have all been much younger. When in Thailand it was the same so no real life change for me in that way, I just preferred Thailand as there was more choice and more geauty. I dont find western white women attractive at all since I have had the delights of Asian women.

Currently n KL. I'm 52, she is 28. She just bought me a car.

I guess I must only want her for the money. ?

[Kenny202]

I'm a bit skeptical about this, because your thesis implies that Farang women would behave different if their economic situation would be the same.

Could a Farang woman really rely on her father"s family to support her in case of no welfare?

You would never know until it was put to the test. My missus grew up no electricity, toilet in the forest. Only meat they had was frogs and rats. The only thing those people had to rely on was community and family. That was her life until about 10 years ago. At 12 she was shipped off to Bkk to clean the hulls of container ships and out sleeping under a garbage bag in a sugar field cutting Aoy. There's no science to it. Just the way it is here as people have had to make do. I liken it here now in the country to stories my grandmother told me of life in Australia in the depression years. Now all the kids here have smart phones and Internet things will change fast. Before the people here only knew their life and ways. If a farang lady was plunged into this life after knowing a better lifestyle? I'd say most would adapt and make the best of limited opportunities...same as Isaan ladies.

[fang37]

It says so in the Bible! (maybe - maybe not)

[micmichd]

My wife is 36yo. We met when she was 24yo - just graduated from uni. When we met, I was 55yo.

Now, I ask her why she stays with me. You - good man. I like ol' man. You good for me & my family.

The whole family has a much better quality of life.

I think that this scenario would apply anywhere. Prove it? I can't.

Maybe these women are far more intelligent than we think. They can think beyond their nose. We farang men can't think beyond our ???.

My understanding is that affluent Chinese-Thai families network amongst their peers in order to locate a "suitable"/compatible partner for their siblings - IT IS A FAMILY DECISION? Not stupid?

Nothing is stupid in cultural anthropology.

The behaviour of Chinese-Thai families is quite rational, and I guess the behaviour of Isaan ladies (or their families) is quite rational, too.

One should not underestimate the rationality of Isaan ladies. Remember how many of them went to Pattaya when it was a GI recreation area?

Some GIs maybe even had conversations with bar girls in Pattaya.

Isaan ladies learn fast, and of course, there was a diffusion of traditional Isaan thinking with the American way of life.

Guess there's lots of evidence for this, empirical and theoretical.

The question why many Farangs can't think beyond their "???" might be a question of taboos.

Sex just for fun seems to be still a taboo in the West for many. Sex for competition is something different (a "success theme"), and it is sad to see how many Farangs are sexually frustrated - even in Thailand.

What will a Farang tell in public?

Of course, never admit sexual frustration. Rather blame it on the bar girls, just to keep face.

And then this is spread in media, we also see it here on TVF.

[fang37]

The ONLY VALID reason for sexual intercourse is for reproduction?

What other logical reason is there?

[jpinx]

It's not just issan girls that like older men -- many countries have similar ideas and for similar reasons -- stability of a better lifestyle.

[micmichd]

The ONLY VALID reason for sexual intercourse is for reproduction?

What other logical reason is there?

Sex is fun and good for your health.

Without sex you would suffer from vegetative dystonia, which may lead to all kinds of psychosomatic diseases.

Causality always means the absence of the dependent variable in the absence of the independent variable, otherwise it is only coincidence.

So, discriminate between the ones that have sexual pleasure and the ones that are sexually frustrated. You can take the narrative of bar girls about their customers, if the frustrated ones refuse to talk.

Then make a survey about quality of life. Use social indicators for this. And then classify again, there are methods in social sciences for that.

You can also use clinical psychological methods, maybe there are longitudinal studies available in some institutes for sexual research.

Edited July 26, 2015 by micmichd

[fang37]

OK - have sex if you must but limit frequency to your birthday.

Don't degrade yourself with base desires.

Aim higher (when you need a piss).

[jarhead50200]

Expatitis in Thailand, Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full..

Many of the Westerners who come to Thailand to live and work come here with unrealistic expectations. Many have been here on holiday and expect that life in Thailand will be totally free of frowns. Most often they are in for a rude awakening and that awakening often turns them into cynical, bitter, angry whiners who see themselves as victims. They are miserable and they frequently make others miserable. The reason for this is that they acquired a disease I will call Expatitis and any depression or problems they tried to escape are exacerbated.

The primary symptom of this problem is unhappiness, which usually manifests itself in extreme and irrational anger and often depression. In addition to the very frequent use of swear words in association with Thailand or Thai people, the person uses the following kinds of words very frequently: cheat, lie, steal, irresponsible, stupid, backward, lazy and corrupt. Sarcasm is an often-used tool as is mocking Thais as well as expats who like Thailand.

Finally, these bitter, sad expats rejoice in problems or difficulties that Thailand or Thai people experience. They actually want Thailand to be corrupt or in an economic downturn or experience other problems. Then the expat can laugh a bitter angry laugh and say, “See, just what I told you.”

If you haven’t moved to Thailand yet, understand quite clearly that Thailand is a place and like any place it has its share of problems. Those problems and the solutions to them are usually different to the problems and solutions in their home country.

If you are already here, try to hang out with positive people; those who are happy and enjoy living in Thailand. Good supportive, non-negative, non-Thai bashing friends can make a big difference.

The mind-body connection can help you too. Smile and walk in a happy way and you can lift yourself up. Think positively and your face and body will reflect that happiness. Fake it until you make it.

Avoid negative people. Negativity is a contagious disease. Also avoid druggies, drunks and people who are always broke. Most often those kinds of people are fellow expats. Be extremely careful with them – whether they are the professional type or the barfly. Most of the problems people have experienced in Thailand came from expats – not Thais.

Find people you can talk with about assorted problems without whining. Joking about problems is not the same thing as bitterly accusing an entire country of something bad. I’ve got friends at work – both Thai and expat – who I joke with about students being late, Thai road etiquette, corruption or whatever else is on my mind. That’s a far cry from saying “They’re all a bunch of liars and cheaters.”

If you already suffer from the idea that Thailand and Thai people have victimized you and you are a whining machine, there is only one possible cure. Go back where you came from. Maybe then you will realize what a great place Thailand is and be able to come back and be happy. On the other hand, maybe you were an unhappy person burdened by one problem after another in your own country before you came to Thailand. In that case, seek counseling.

[fang37]

Living in Thailand & living in Isaan - no same same.

We Northerners are cultured; drink alcohol only on special occasions if at all; go to the wat on designated days, do not beat the wife or the dog ; no promiscuity; never take that which does not belong to us; help our fellow man; obey traffic regulations - we are QUALITY people.

There is one area only where we need improvement -

TELLING FALSEHOODS.

[Norlund]

I'm a 56 years old foreigner living in the middle of Isaan with my 21 years old Thai lady. She doesn't ask for money. Her mother and father don't ask for money. She has NEVER been a prostitute. I have NOT bought land and built a house og given the lady a ton of gold. Actually no gold at all. Not even an IPhone. What other people say about that I just give a sh.....

So you give her absolutely nothing & she still with you.

Either you've got a fatal illness & you've left your assets to her & will die soon

Or

Your lying

Which one is it?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have heard this kind of comments before. And generally it's because they don't know too much about thai culture. And that is understandable when they usually are "living" in a bar in Pattaya for years. And sadly for this people Thai ladies are generally far away from behaving like bar ladies. I say "sadly" because they often are married to a bar lady living in Pattaya or in her village.

The reasons for a Thai lady to marry a man, foreigner or not, can be many. One of the reasons can be that the man can provide for the family. NOT for her mother and father, but for her and the children. And I'm NOT talking about land, house, gold, money and a car, but providing for the daily life.

For a good Thai lady the age differens doesn't need to mean anything. And often an old man is more attractive as a life partner than a young one. This because of the stability the old man represents financially and personally. In my view young Thai men tend to take more care of them selves than of the family. Drinking and gambling seem to be the way to go.

Edited July 26, 2015 by Norlund

[Jip99]

I'm a 56 years old foreigner living in the middle of Isaan with my 21 years old Thai lady. She doesn't ask for money. Her mother and father don't ask for money. She has NEVER been a prostitute. I have NOT bought land and built a house og given the lady a ton of gold. Actually no gold at all. Not even an IPhone. What other people say about that I just give a sh.....

So you give her absolutely nothing & she still with you.

Either you've got a fatal illness & you've left your assets to her & will die soon

Or

Your lying

Which one is it?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have heard this kind of comments before. And generally it's because they don't know too much about thai culture. And that is understandable when they usually are "living" in a bar in Pattaya for years. And sadly for this people Thai ladies are generally far away from behaving like bar ladies. I say "sadly" because they often are married to a bar lady living in Pattaya or in her village.

The reasons for a Thai lady to marry a man, foreigner or not, can be many. One of the reasons can be that the man can provide for the family. NOT for her mother and father, but for her and the children. And I'm NOT talking about land, house, gold, money and a car, but providing for the daily life.

For a good Thai lady the age differens doesn't need to mean anything. And often an old man is more attractive as a life partner than a young one. This because of the stability the old man represents financially and personally. In my view young Thai men tend to take more care of them selves than of the family. Drinking and gambling seem to be the way to go.

The worst rip-offs on Farangs that I have seen have been instigated by Thai women who have never been near a Pattaya bar!

The culture comes prior to the bar scene - there it is simply honed..

[fang37]

#342

This give credence to the postulate that young Isaan ladies have superior intellectual ability to the average Thai (& maybe farang).

Buyer beware!

[Kenny202]

Those same gullible farang would have been ripped off back home. Presenting a dirt poor person and their family with millions of baht assets in their name is just not smart. Talking strictly a Thai country girl, very few have the smarts or the black heartedness to cold bloodedly rip someone off. Many of the docos and u tube stories on thai girl rips off farang the bloke comes and ploughs all of his retirement into property in her name. The bloke is generally a <deleted> or a drunk or both. The girl gets tired of him and no she's not going to give the house back. There are bad people and bad families here too and guess what, they rip off other Thais and their own families given the opportunity.

[Norlund]

I'm so fed up with foreigners in Thailand complaing about Thai ladies and the family. Why come to Thailand and beg for someone to rip them off?

[fang37]

I'm so fed up with foreigners in Thailand complaing about Thai ladies and the family. Why come to Thailand and beg for someone to rip them off?

Please, rip me off! Gullible - altruistic - yes! Lonely - yes.

Pour me a drink - a biggun!

[huawei]

I'm a 56 years old foreigner living in the middle of Isaan with my 21 years old Thai lady. She doesn't ask for money. Her mother and father don't ask for money. She has NEVER been a prostitute. I have NOT bought land and built a house og given the lady a ton of gold. Actually no gold at all. Not even an IPhone. What other people say about that I just give a sh.....

I am your age with a daughter who is 22. You are with a 21 year old with the probable emotional development of a 17 year old...I could vomit!!

Of course it has to be in the out of the way issarn..poverty, uneducated, parental pressure..when will these posts never end "farang with lady from poverty in middle of Nakhon nowhere"... Definitely been a change in the foreigners who now reside here...

Don't be silly, no 21 year old would want someone older than their father as a partner if they had a choice..really...Thai as mysteriously different are they?..

This just proves yet again, that the majority of foreigners are just seen as an atm be it short term or long term especially in Isaarn..

[fang37]

# 347

Ss simple as that?

You have a youngish daughter?

If she went out with someone of similar age but -

far different religion

different socio-economic background

different cultural heritage

different colour skin

education eg much lower

That would be OK?

Does your daughter's opinion matter?

[huawei]

I doubt in this case it was her opinion alone. But I certainly wouldn't be indifferent if he was 56 and as arrogant as the poster. As for the others on the list..I take your point..my daughter lost her mother when she was young she is very independent ..so it very much counts because of necessity ,but I am still the parent..I would be horrified at the thought..

[Kenny202]

I'm a 56 years old foreigner living in the middle of Isaan with my 21 years old Thai lady. She doesn't ask for money. Her mother and father don't ask for money. She has NEVER been a prostitute. I have NOT bought land and built a house og given the lady a ton of gold. Actually no gold at all. Not even an IPhone. What other people say about that I just give a sh.....

I am your age with a daughter who is 22. You are with a 21 year old with the probable emotional development of a 17 year old...I could vomit!!

Of course it has to be in the out of the way issarn..poverty, uneducated, parental pressure..when will these posts never end "farang with lady from poverty in middle of Nakhon nowhere"... Definitely been a change in the foreigners who now reside here...

Don't be silly, no 21 year old would want someone older than their father as a partner if they had a choice..really...Thai as mysteriously different are they?..

This just proves yet again, that the majority of foreigners are just seen as an atm be it short term or long term especially in Isaarn..

Girl next door 14 has just been promised to a thai guy late 30's. 200k Thb and 3 baht gold hand over New Years. Was her idea too. She loves the bloke apparently and brought him home to the family. It's normal here

[fang37]

My sister was dating an Indian. Parents were horrified to the extent that they arranged a meeting with the boy's parents. They totally disapproved of the liasson too.

Horrified if daughter is with an older man?

Is the man not GOOD enough for your daughter?

Should you make the decision re partner on behalf of your daughter?

Doesn't your daughter have the intellect to think with clarity?

If the daughter stands her ground, would you give her your blessing?

Would you attend the wedding ceremony & fulfil your duties as a father?

[Brickbat]

Found out a few other reasons. Law of supply and demand. A large percentage of Thai males are monks and ladyboys. Dwindles the no of eligible Thai males. Farang men of the same age group healthier, stronger and off course, money always talks, anywhere in the world. It would be the same story in the West under these conditions. After WW2, in the West, including Australia, many young women had no choicpce but to marry older men .

As for falling off, I say it's great after the beans are blown.....

[fang37]

#352

In addition, how many farangs come to live in Thailand at an early age?

Secondly, there are severe restrictions on farangs working in LOS.

It is just natural that LOS attracts older farangs with some $$$.

Boy meets girl - happy, happy?

[SantiSuk]

The older of my two younger sisters (lives Germany) was appalled when I married a 34 year old Thai at the age of 58. She never said it, but I sensed it in every pore. My 24 year old niece (her daughter) wrote me an e-mail worrying (with nice sensitivity) about the dangers of marrying a 'young lady' in Thailand - she loves Thailand and visits often.

Fast track 18 months forward and said niece shacks up with a German guy at least 20 years her senior. Sister very uncomfortable but now had to suck it up. Unfortunately he turned out to be a control freak over her and new baby and completely f**ked up the German side of my family for the last few years.

Live and let live. Stereotyping is foolish.

[SantiSuk]

You seem to know a lot about girls form Isaan and the North East Kenny. Is it that you just talk to them a lot?

Lets assume you are a user. Remind me ... "it just gives a terrible impression of" who?

What an ignorant assumption. I live in an Isaan village? If u have assumed I'm a player (not really sure what ur saying?) It's not the case. You just can't live that way here nor do I want to. I do however have a very normal life and we have many friends. Many of those friends are single (abandoned) wives / mothers. There are some crackers of girls here. And I don't mean Asian slave brides. Just good hearted, good humored hard working beautiful ladies. U cudnt find a better wife anywhere. Reason blokes don't meet these girls (other than tourist areas) are because a) the people don't speak English and normally farang don't come to Isaan unless they come with a lady. there's no hidden meaning or agenda in my post

Ignorant! Moi?!

Absolutely - so ignorant that I even addressed the wrong poster. Meant for the other guy in the pasted thread

Many apologies Kenny - told you I was a to$$er - see my footer strapline!

[fang37]

Near where I live, there are 2 gorgeous ladies (35ish) with a young child. Both have reasonable English speaking skills.

They have "mature" farang b/fs with a view to marriage.

Sole motive for marriage?

Welfare of child. Sacrifice. Honorable motives.

[happy Joe]

It's not just issan girls that like older men -- many countries have similar ideas and for similar reasons -- stability of a better lifestyle.

Can we add that most detest the sexual act in repetition ...

[Whyamiandwhatamidoinghere]

Yeah I was visiting John Thompsons House and saw a 90 year old man on, what appeared to be, portable life support. Accompanying him was probably one of the most beautiful Thai girls I have ever seen, and believe me my taste in women rival my taste in fine whiskeys. She lovingly helped him to sit down and there was only one seat left. I was standing and she looked at me and motioned for me to sit down next to the old man and the old man agreed. He told me this 22 year old girl he married 2 years ago. He said after his wife died 20 years prior he lived a lonely life. He said he could feel death coming. At 87 he decide to visit Thailand and he met his now wife and married her months later. He told me it was the best decision he has ever made and he is happy,stress free and genuinely loved. He looked at me and said "one day you will be on in years but don't live them in loneliness. My only regret is that I didn't come to paradise sooner"

[Whyamiandwhatamidoinghere]

10,20,30 or 40 and more years senior. Leave those western values, where it applies to relationships, back in your country or you will not be able to get your head around what is natural here. In other words: Don't Think Too Much...

[Berkshire]

Expatitis in Thailand, Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full..

Many of the Westerners who come to Thailand to live and work come here with unrealistic expectations. Many have been here on holiday and expect that life in Thailand will be totally free of frowns. Most often they are in for a rude awakening and that awakening often turns them into cynical, bitter, angry whiners who see themselves as victims. They are miserable and they frequently make others miserable. The reason for this is that they acquired a disease I will call Expatitis and any depression or problems they tried to escape are exacerbated.

The primary symptom of this problem is unhappiness, which usually manifests itself in extreme and irrational anger and often depression. In addition to the very frequent use of swear words in association with Thailand or Thai people, the person uses the following kinds of words very frequently: cheat, lie, steal, irresponsible, stupid, backward, lazy and corrupt. Sarcasm is an often-used tool as is mocking Thais as well as expats who like Thailand.

Finally, these bitter, sad expats rejoice in problems or difficulties that Thailand or Thai people experience. They actually want Thailand to be corrupt or in an economic downturn or experience other problems. Then the expat can laugh a bitter angry laugh and say, “See, just what I told you.”

If you haven’t moved to Thailand yet, understand quite clearly that Thailand is a place and like any place it has its share of problems. Those problems and the solutions to them are usually different to the problems and solutions in their home country.

If you are already here, try to hang out with positive people; those who are happy and enjoy living in Thailand. Good supportive, non-negative, non-Thai bashing friends can make a big difference.

The mind-body connection can help you too. Smile and walk in a happy way and you can lift yourself up. Think positively and your face and body will reflect that happiness. Fake it until you make it.

Avoid negative people. Negativity is a contagious disease. Also avoid druggies, drunks and people who are always broke. Most often those kinds of people are fellow expats. Be extremely careful with them – whether they are the professional type or the barfly. Most of the problems people have experienced in Thailand came from expats – not Thais.

Find people you can talk with about assorted problems without whining. Joking about problems is not the same thing as bitterly accusing an entire country of something bad. I’ve got friends at work – both Thai and expat – who I joke with about students being late, Thai road etiquette, corruption or whatever else is on my mind. That’s a far cry from saying “They’re all a bunch of liars and cheaters.”

If you already suffer from the idea that Thailand and Thai people have victimized you and you are a whining machine, there is only one possible cure. Go back where you came from. Maybe then you will realize what a great place Thailand is and be able to come back and be happy. On the other hand, maybe you were an unhappy person burdened by one problem after another in your own country before you came to Thailand. In that case, seek counseling.

Very well written. I agree 100%. Did you write this?