I lost 50 kg, but my partner didn't and won't.

[krisb]

When I met my partner, I weighed in at 135kg...My partner was and still is also big.

When I saw myself in the mirror, I was so unhappy with who I saw and what I'd become, I had to make a change. It had built up for years. I was short of breath, heart was thumping, headed for an early grave. So 1 day...

I started exercising, and just kept at it. As I kept dropping the weight. After about 6 months, people started saying you are looking great! This kept me going, I started noticing the differences and I loved it! Finally I was smiling.

Once I'd lost 10kg, it spurred me on and on and on. I was on a mission then. Even nights when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up and ride the exercise bike for an hour. My life was revolving around exercise, and I felt great!

Anyway, now for my wife. Well she let herself go. Exactly where I was at 3 years beforehand. Now she's hugely jealous of me. If we go out, I find girls coming around me, commenting on how good I look. I never ever had that before when I was at my biggest 135kg. I fit in slim fit clothes these days!!

Now I find it hard to look at my wife. She's pushing 105kg and has no plan on loosing the weight. At 5 foot 5, she's quite round. Her double chin wobbles when she walks...I've pleaded and pleaded for her to loose weight. She won't do it. It's awful in the morning when she throws her heavy leg over me.

I loved her when we met, I love her now, but I just can't stand her weight. She jiggles to much, and naked, these days it turns me off especially the sweaty marks and red rashes between the legs she gets.

What would you do?

Edited July 21, 2015 by krisb

[robblok]

Congratulations Chris.

Well done, I had the same a few years back got tired of myself and decided to loose the excess weight.

Now the problem with your partner is that she does not want too.. and when people don't want too its impossible.

You can't loose weight for someone else it just does not work.

Wish i could give good advice but I can't it must be her choice else she will fail.

[jcisco]

I'd say this is less an issue of weight and more an issue of life goals or expectations to of diverged. And to be fair that changed after the relationship started, bit sad that she cannot see a reason to find motivation on the matter.

Good luck.

[MaeJoMTB]

To both of you,

Only one O in 'lose'.

You can't force someone to lose weight, only they can do that.

If you no longer like the way she looks, move on. No point in the two of you being miserable together.

Relationships rarely improve, get out while you can.

[Crazy chef 1]

May you start an Kris'sss alcohol review...

[krisb]

To both of you,

Only one O in 'lose'.

You can't force someone to lose weight, only they can do that.

If you no longer like the way she looks, move on. No point in the two of you being miserable together.

Relationships rarely improve, get out while you can.

Yeah there's only 1 o in lose. Now that is quite philosophical.

[krisb]

May you start an Kris'sss alcohol review...

In my previous life CC, It would be a huuuge YES!

But these days its all ab out countn' the calories'

[smokie36]

The key in weight loss is finding ways to enjoy losing weight.

To me eating bad food is addictive...and it takes several weeks to break that first cycle.

Adding in pastimes which burn calories that you enjoy is the second part.

Getting addicted to the endorphin rush of exercise is the third thing.

Once you get there you are more or less home and dry and heading quickly on the road to fitness.

I waver around it from time to time though lol.

Good luck kris!

Edited July 21, 2015 by smokie36

[rgs2001uk]

Best of luck in trying to tell a Thai to do something, LOL

You can suggest, advise offer incentives, but at the end of the day its up to her, she may well feel sabia sabai, whats incentive does she have to lose weight?

At the end of the day, she is still the same woman you were attracted to.

[robblok]

The key in weight loss is finding ways to enjoy losing weight.

To me eating bad food is addictive...and it takes several weeks to break that first cycle.

Adding in pastimes which burn calories that you enjoy is the second part.

Getting addicted to the endorphin rush of exercise is the third thing.

Once you get there you are more or less home and dry and heading quickly on the road to fitness.

I waver around it from time to time though lol.

Good luck kris!

I also have periods i am less active with exercise and less stringent with weight. It happens as long as you don't stop completely. The secret is having good eating habits. Exercise is important but just a small part of the weight loss.

I recently bought a bread machine, helps me enjoy wholewheat bread with a scoop of protein in the mix and healthy fats. Also good to know exactly what goes in the bread.

I also do a lot of vegetable juicing but i get lazy doing that at times. Then skip a few days and start over.

Edited July 21, 2015 by robblok

[smokie36]

I do lots of fruit when I want to lose weight...less crappy food and dont eat late in the evening but I never count calories.

It should be enjoyable.

Swimming is what I enjoy so its relatively easy for me.

[Cypress Hill]

So hang on . . . she was fat when you met her, right? So what's the problem? I presume you've been having sex with her all along, right?

Just because you've lost weight and are now being hit on by the kind of women who wouldn't give you a second glance when you were fat, you expect your wife to follow your example???

I think that 50kg went straight to your ego.

[krisb]

So hang on . . . she was fat when you met her, right? So what's the problem? I presume you've been having sex with her all along, right?

Just because you've lost weight and are now being hit on by the kind of women who wouldn't give you a second glance when you were fat, you expect your wife to follow your example???

I think that 50kg went straight to your ego.

Play the ball, not the man.

Do you have any idea how heavy her leg is when she rests it on me? It's all full of dimples.

Edited July 21, 2015 by krisb

[Jingthing]

This should be in the I'm Too Fat Forum.

Anyway, you can't be nagging your partner.

That will never work.

It will make it worse.

I'm surprised you don't know that already.

All I can say is your partner has to come to the motivation from within ... and if that happens, I would suggest exploring GARCINIA CAMBOGIA.

Doesn't work for everyone but it works for some and as far as I can tell, it's relatively safe.

[taotoo]

So hang on . . . she was fat when you met her, right? So what's the problem? I presume you've been having sex with her all along, right?

Just because you've lost weight and are now being hit on by the kind of women who wouldn't give you a second glance when you were fat, you expect your wife to follow your example???

I think that 50kg went straight to your ego.

Play the ball, not the man.

They're one and the same.

[NickJ]

Go at it from a health point of view. Diabetes. Hi blood pressure. joint destruction.....Start helping to cook healthy foods. Sell being healthy.......Its hard starting from the bottom. Good luck.

[Cypress Hill]

I AM playing the ball

I'm suggesting that you re-examine your motivation here.

When you were fat, your stock was worthless, now you've lost some weight, you obviously think your value on "the market" has soared

You think you're entitled to a hot wife.

Guess you shouldn't have married her

[krisb]

This should be in the I'm Too Fat Forum.

Anyway, you can't be nagging your partner.

That will never work.

It will make it worse.

I'm surprised you don't know that already.

All I can say is your partner has to come to the motivation from within ... and if that happens, I would suggest exploring GARCINIA CAMBOGIA.

Doesn't work for everyone but it works for some and as far as I can tell, it's relatively safe.

Sounds like a get fit fad to me.

Not sure a Thai can even pronounce it let alone follow it.

Since she moved to Australia, it's gone from Som tam to Fries and gravy.

[Aussieroaming]

Congratulations on losing weight, hopefully you don't lose anther 105kg. She is your wife, support and encourage her to follow your lead. Too much pressure and she might feel reluctant

[krisb]

Go at it from a health point of view. Diabetes. Hi blood pressure. joint destruction.....Start helping to cook healthy foods. Sell being healthy.......Its hard starting from the bottom. Good luck.

I can tell you it's never hard staring at her bottom!

I've no idea how she handles the salt rash she gets. It looks painful.

[Jingthing]

It's not looking good.

So reading between the lines, it's up to you whether you want to stay with your partner because face reality, man, the chances of a change are VERY REMOTE.

[WitawatWatawit]

I AM playing the ball

I'm suggesting that you re-examine your motivation here.

When you were fat, your stock was worthless, now you've lost some weight, you obviously think your value on "the market" has soared

You think you're entitled to a hot wife.

Guess you shouldn't have married her

So you don't believe a man should try to save his marriage? You're strange.

Good luck Kris.

Edited July 21, 2015 by WitawatWatawit

[RakJungTorlae]

Liposuction

[stoneyboy]

Go at it from a health point of view. Diabetes. Hi blood pressure. joint destruction.....Start helping to cook healthy foods. Sell being healthy.......Its hard starting from the bottom. Good luck.

I can tell you it's never hard staring at her bottom!

I've no idea how she handles the salt rash she gets. It looks painful.

Get her a tub of this at least.

Great for crotch rot.

[Jingthing]

Liposuction

Horrible idea.

That is not for major weight loss.

That is only meant for cosmetic purposes in SPOT AREAS for those who have already lost weight.

[krisb]

It's not looking good.

So reading between the lines, it's up to you whether you want to stay with your partner because face reality, man, the chances of a change are VERY REMOTE.

Yes it's very remote, she's got no control.

[faraday]

Have you tried explaining to her about high Blood Pressure/Diabetes & so on?

And add that you don't see many overweight people in their 70's.....

Btw, well done for loosing so much. I dropped 10kg a few years back - after which I was knee deep in young ladies. *Wakes up from dream*

[Jingthing]

Nagging the partner will hasten the end of the relationship more than anything.

Either accept the situation or start a transition ... away.

[krisb]

I AM playing the ball

I'm suggesting that you re-examine your motivation here.

When you were fat, your stock was worthless, now you've lost some weight, you obviously think your value on "the market" has soared

You think you're entitled to a hot wife.

Guess you shouldn't have married her

So you don't believe a man should try to save his marriage? You're strange, and you prevaricate.

Good luck Kris.

I never implied he shouldn't try to save his marriage.

If you can't understand what's being said, you should brush up on reading comprehension

Please, it's about me this thread.

[krisb]

Have you tried explaining to her about high Blood Pressure/Diabetes & so on?

And add that you don't see many overweight people in their 70's.....

Btw, well done for loosing so much. I dropped 10kg a few years back - after which I was knee deep in young ladies. *Wakes up from dream*

The other day we drove past a McDonalds at 60km/hr.

She grabbed the steering wheel and swerved me towards it!

Luckily the roads the were dry.

Large fries please.