Little bit of help about a Thai lady

[nvrenoughbeer]

I have been teaching in thailand for a few years now and I have gotten quite close with one of my female colleagues. She is very pretty and well educated. Speaks English fairly well. We have been friendly with each other for awhile and I thought it was about time that I spoke to what I thought were both our feelings. I told her my feelings in as polite and respectful terms as possible, but kept my English simple enough that even a 5 year old could understand. She stared at me for a few minutes, then walked away silently. I stood there wondering what the heck happened. I sent her a few messages via facebook as she didn't seem to be hanging out in the English office anymore. I tried to find her on campus and when I did she would not say more than she had to go to class or needed to go do something if even that. Basically I'm getting the silent treatment and being ignored too. I talked to a co-teacher who is a close friend and they spoke with her on my behalf. When I next talked to my co-teacher, she would not tell me why this lady was not speaking to me...said something along the lines of it was none of her business...and then left it at that.

Think something has been lost in translation here or I am missing something here. Its been over two weeks and still I am getting the silent treatment from her. Should I just give up and move on or what?

Any ideas what the heck I did wrong??

[Tonto21]

Any ideas what the heck I did wrong??

I've said it before ...... And I'll say it again mate.....

1, who knows what goes on in a woman's head.... And she's Asian!

Good luck with that.

PS: I'm a realist not a sexist.

Please check Male/female flow chart below for best explanation.

Best of luck my friend.

[sipi]

She's not interested. Move on.

[Gecko123]

Sounds to me like someone who may already be in a relationship with someone else, or who is genuinely shocked to learn of your romantic interest.

Because you are co-workers, I would send word to her that you just want to be co-workers like before, and then pretend that the whole incident never occurred.

We've all been there at one point or another.

Edited July 28, 2015 by Gecko123

[MaeJoMTB]

never speak to her again

in the uk they would already be sacking you for sexual harassment

[steve187]

It would seem that you misjudged her feelings for you, the ones you had for her of attraction , where only feeling of pity in her mind and not attraction, still plenty of other schools out there, as it would seem in your school you are now a sex pest. trying to hit on other members of staff.

you have been a teacher in Thailand for a few years , but have only just found Thaivisa,

it seems strange that someones first post is some thing that would to be trollish and not '' where do i tax my car '' or something similar..

as to your other thread well that was tough going so i gave up

[Morakot]

I told her my feelings in as polite and respectful terms as possible, but kept my English simple enough that even a 5 year old could understand. She stared at me for a few minutes, then walked away silently. I stood there wondering what the heck happened

She "said" No.

She tried to do this as polite and respectful as possible, in a way that would easily be understood.

If I'd take a guess, I'd say you are not British. Possibly American or more likely Continental European? The level of straight forwardness must have shocked this lady. It sounds very direct the way you approached her.

Edited July 28, 2015 by Morakot

[sanuk711]

I had the same problem with a girl I lived with for a while in the UK mate---whenever it was that time that when the she suffered from debilitating headaches, painful cramps, and violent mood swings.

Then I knew she must have been up for review of her disability benefits.............................

[Cypress Hill]

Asking about the subtleties of courtship from a board full of men who've substituted charm, game and wit for handing over a fistful of crumpled baht every month

OP said the girl is "very pretty" so likely not the first time she's been hit on.

She's just not interested but doesn't want to knock you back properly because she's still gonna see you around the school.

OP might be too old/fat/bald/un-hansum for her

Edited July 28, 2015 by Cypress Hill

[steve187]

Whats wrong with the old fancy a drink after work speech, why the pervy i have feeling for you speech

[rgs2001uk]

Been in Thailand a few years now.

But obviously not long enough to have sussed out to got through a third party on your behalf like the Thais would have done.

All you managed to achieve was to embarrass this woman.

[Wasima]

She's just not that into you, dude... move on...

[Pomthai]

Sing her Kevin Bloody Wilson's D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F song next time she gives you evil silents. And move on.

[petermik]

Similar post a couple of months ago on here.............do a search

[Crazy chef 1]

Asking about the subtleties of courtship from a board full of men who've substituted charm, game and wit for handing over a fistful of crumpled baht every month

OP said the girl is "very pretty" so likely not the first time she's been hit on.

She's just not interested but doesn't want to knock you back properly because she's still gonna see you around the school.

OP might be too old/fat/bald/un-hansum for her

I really don't want to do this but....+1

[brewsterbudgen]

Bargirls are a far safer bet.

[nvrenoughbeer]

The little of the thai culture I have seen in my few years here does not make me an all knowing expert about what is acceptable and what is too forward or as some of you have so nicely put it..pervy way. I had already been out to coffee and even a dinner with her. So it was not coming from out of the blue and we were completely alone when I expressed my feelings towards her. In any case I did finally get a reply and it was just a lets be friends reply from her. While I know some of you are barflies and just riding the easy train...some of you actually are in normal(or as normal as relationship with thai women get.) relationships/married to non-bargirls. so just asking about thai behavior is not an odd thing to ask on this forum even for a first time post. I have read thai visa for awhile so its not a sudden discovery and a need to share or something. Just asking for genuine advice about something that struck me as odd and beyond my knowledge of thai culture. I have already seen pots about car insurance..tabs..ect so why would I post about that? I didn't see a post similar to this one on the boards so I went ahead and created a new one. That being said thanks to those who gave a real reply, to the rest of you negative nancies, jog on as you English are so fond of saying.

[nvrenoughbeer]

The little of the thai culture I have seen in my few years here does not make me an all knowing expert about what is acceptable and what is too forward or as some of you have so nicely put it..pervy way. I had already been out to coffee and even a dinner with her. So it was not coming from out of the blue and we were completely alone when I expressed my feelings towards her. In any case I did finally get a reply and it was just a lets be friends reply from her. While I know some of you are barflies and just riding the easy train...some of you actually are in normal(or as normal as relationship with thai women get.) relationships/married to non-bargirls. so just asking about thai behavior is not an odd thing to ask on this forum even for a first time post. I have read thai visa for awhile so its not a sudden discovery and a need to share or something. Just asking for genuine advice about something that struck me as odd and beyond my knowledge of thai culture. I have already seen pots about car insurance..tabs..ect so why would I post about that? I didn't see a post similar to this one on the boards so I went ahead and created a new one. That being said thanks to those who gave a real reply, to the rest of you negative nancies, jog on as you English are so fond of saying.

[nvrenoughbeer]

The little of the thai culture I have seen in my few years here does not make me an all knowing expert about what is acceptable and what is too forward or as some of you have so nicely put it..pervy way. I had already been out to coffee and even a dinner with her. So it was not coming from out of the blue and we were completely alone when I expressed my feelings towards her. In any case I did finally get a reply and it was just a lets be friends reply from her. While I know some of you are barflies and just riding the easy train...some of you actually are in normal(or as normal as relationship with thai women get.) relationships/married to non-bargirls. so just asking about thai behavior is not an odd thing to ask on this forum even for a first time post. I have read thai visa for awhile so its not a sudden discovery and a need to share or something. Just asking for genuine advice about something that struck me as odd and beyond my knowledge of thai culture. I have already seen pots about car insurance..tabs..ect so why would I post about that? I didn't see a post similar to this one on the boards so I went ahead and created a new one. That being said thanks to those who gave a real reply, to the rest of you negative nancies, jog on as you English are so fond of saying.

brewsterbudgen >Bargirls are a far safer bet.

If I wanted to throw my money away sure, if I wanted to have a clingy disease infested dog, I would simply pickup the nearest soi dog for free and bring it home. besides they have sticky fingers as a few of you on here know.

[nvrenoughbeer]

Thank you to those who sent real replies instead of the negative/bashing comments. She already replied no to anything more than friends. By the way for those who said it was out of the blue, I have been informally dating her for months, all I asked was for some serious commitment on her part. So thank you for the pervy, fat, ugly and other colourful comments. I am not any of these things, but i doubt you care either way. Moving on...oh and I ready know about car tabs, insurance..ect for here in thailand so no my first post wouldn't be about something I already know about. I have only been here a few years, so I have not been privy to all the many ways of Thai ladies...other than to avoid bargirls like what they are..diseased dogs of the largest order of stupid possible.

[slipperylobster]

What exactly did you say? Sounds like you picked the wrong venue. Also, don't be surprised if other teachers are now ribbing her about your desires. Also, what are the students picking up....?

I know a few gainfully employed ladies who travel all the way from Ubon to Chiang Mai, so they can hang out in places where farangs hit up on them. After a few days, they fly back to work. They want absolutely nobody to know...(back in Ubon). Nurses, teachers and other professional ladies/students/teachers...do this. You can find out more about them on dating web sites...

Edited July 28, 2015 by slipperylobster

[shirtless]

She has a great deal going for her why would she be interested in a poor Falang

[catman20]

when dealing with Thai women with the brain of a 5 year old what do you expect, move no don't waste your time with the moron.

[asdecas]

Are you less than well-endowed? Some women are sensitive to little things...

[Estrada]

Ever seen a Thai couple having an argument? Due to the culture of non-confrontation, they just give each other the silent treatment until one of them breaks. They are not good at discussing feelings. You could wait for her to think hard about your relationship or better still find another love interest.

[jacko45k]

You do not even mention whether this woman is single.

Workplace relationships are mostly a bad idea, she seemed very content to be friendly with you but you made the mistake of presuming it could be taken further.

Now the workplace relationship has been compromised in her eyes.

Move on and respect the fact that she now feels she overstepped the line herself, as you did.

[Cypress Hill]

have only been here a few years, so I have not been privy to all the many ways of Thai ladies...other than to avoid bargirls like what they are..diseased dogs of the largest order of stupid possible.

If I wanted to throw my money away sure, if I wanted to have a clingy disease infested dog, I would simply pickup the nearest soi dog for free and bring it home. besides they have sticky fingers as a few of you on here know.

Right well I'm not a fan of bargirls either but I draw the line way before describing them as "disease-infested dogs".

Most take care of themselves down there since it's one of the few things they have to offer a man.

Is it possible that the object of your desire picked up on your misogynistic tendencies?

[brewsterbudgen]

have only been here a few years, so I have not been privy to all the many ways of Thai ladies...other than to avoid bargirls like what they are..diseased dogs of the largest order of stupid possible.

If I wanted to throw my money away sure, if I wanted to have a clingy disease infested dog, I would simply pickup the nearest soi dog for free and bring it home. besides they have sticky fingers as a few of you on here know.

Right well I'm not a fan of bargirls either but I draw the line way before describing them as "disease-infested dogs".

Most take care of themselves down there since it's one of the few things they have to offer a man.

Is it possible that the object of your desire picked up on your misogynistic tendencies?

First time I think I've 'liked' a CH post!

[Americano555]

Duh ! And you had to post this?

[johninbkk]

Thai style, she's playing hard to get.

Let it all slide and let her come to you.