Thai Surrogacy: Carmen's American father prays for a 'second miracle'

[webfact]

SURROGACY
Carmen's father prays for a 'second miracle'
PASARA PUTHAMAT
SPECIAL TO THE NATION


Gordon Alan Lake

Father prays for a 'second miracle' as the surrogate mother fights for the right to raise her daughter

BANGKOK: -- An American father has been raising his baby, Carmen, in Thailand over the past six months, praying every day that he will finally be able to bring his daughter home. His only obstacle is the Thai surrogate mother, who is refusing to sign the papers necessary for Carmen’s departure.

"I can't leave without Carmen, because she is our daughter," said Gordon Alan "Bud" Lake III, an American who is legally married to Spanish national Manuel Santos.

The couple came to Thailand six months ago with the hope of completing their family with a daughter. Santos and Lake already have a son through an Indian surrogate mother. The problem now is that Carmen's birth mother changed her mind at the last minute, thwarting their hope of taking the child out of Thailand.

According to Lake, he and his partner spent more than Bt1 million for surrogacy services in Thailand. The process had gone smoothly initially, when the surrogate mother signed her consent for them to take the baby out of the hospital and put Lake's name down as the child's father.

But she stopped cooperating after learning that Lake was married to a man, seeking help from different agencies in a bid to take Carmen back. Under Thai law, Carmen belongs to her mother - a fact that Lake is finding difficult to accept.

"She did not want the baby from the beginning. It was us who wanted to have a daughter. We are trying to build our family," Lake pointed out.

The story hit the headlines after the surrogate mother turned to the media for help. She has been saying that the two men may not be good parents, and after discovering that they had made a surrogacy deal with another Thai woman, she now says the couple may be human traffickers.

"This has made me decide to reach out to the press too, because what she says is untrue. We are not human traffickers," Lake said.

He said they had not gone into two surrogacy deals simultaneously, explaining that the initial embryo transfer with the other woman was unsuccessful.

In May, Lake's family and friends launched an online campaign on Facebook and via change.org called "BringCarmenHome", which have been gaining attention from people in Spain, the United States and Thailand.

Though a US citizen, Lake moved to Spain to live with his spouse as same-sex marriage was legally recognised there since 2005. Lake and Santos married three years ago, planning to build a family together.

"Our family is big. Twenty-five members of our family get together every week to eat paella together. It's wonderful and we have a good family," Lake said. He and Santos live in Valencia.

Though he misses his family back in Spain, Lake said he is grateful for the support he is getting in Thailand.

"Thais are amazing. They send me personal messages, offering to help me around the house, with language and some have even offered to help me financially. I am overwhelmed with their support. They are very important to us," Lake said. Their "BringCarmenHome" Facebook page has earned more than 56,000 likes and the change.org campaign has over 80,000 signatures.

Despite being unsuccessful in his negotiations with the surrogate mother, Lake refuses to give up.

"Every single day, from the beginning, I have been hoping that she will come, sign the paper and let us go home together," he said, adding that he will never leave without his daughter, not even if he loses his job in Spain.

"I will stay put and try to find a job here, so I can raise my daughter," he said.

Asked if he ever thought of giving up now that this second surrogacy is posing so many problems, Lake replied, "No, I will never change my mind, because this surrogacy has given us our daughter Carmen. Surrogacy is wonderful. Our daughter is a gift and the surrogate mother is also wonderful, she made this miracle happen."

Now, he said, his only wish is for a "second miracle" from the surrogate mother - that she signs the paperwork so he can fly to Spain with his daughter to celebrate his son's second birthday, which is a week away.

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/national/Carmens-father-prays-for-a-second-miracle-30265585.html


-- The Nation 2015-07-31

[Jingthing]

Sign.

Baby,

Sign,

[borisloosebrain]

It wasn't until Gammys mother had six million baht in donations and that others involved in the case called her out that she admitted that she had been lying from the beginning about the Aussie parents. This creep of a woman seems to be no better. What a rotten thing to do. Sign an agreement then throw dirt and refuse to hand over the child.

[godden]

The world really is arse about front these days.

[daiwill60]

So he will stay in Thailand to be with his daughter who is so special etc etc , even if he loses his job blah de blah... what about the son he would be leaving behind in Spain if he did that.... is he less important????

Why did nt they go to India again , where they obviously had had no previous problems ??

Maybe they are trying to put a globally collected family of kids together , as do The Pitt family. OOOh!!!! lets have one of each colour.

[NickJ]

Where did the egg come from?

[abrahamzvi]

So he will stay in Thailand to be with his daughter who is so special etc etc , even if he loses his job blah de blah... what about the son he would be leaving behind in Spain if he did that.... is he less important????

Why did nt they go to India again , where they obviously had had no previous problems ??

Maybe they are trying to put a globally collected family of kids together , as do The Pitt family. OOOh!!!! lets have one of each colour.

I am always surprised and astonished at observing how people like daw!!!60 are so cruel and without any feelings. I really pity such people.

Note: I am neither gay, nor have I ever used the services of a surrogate mother. I just feel for people in need and this particular couple does need any help they can get, but certainly not scorn!!!!!!

[abhaya]

I find it hard to believe if someone enters into some sort of contractual arrangement regarding the use of their body for 9 months to carry a baby they will not form an attachment to it. Seeing photos of the baby, she looks like she is half Thai and so far no mention has been made of who the other egg donor really is. There is no clear cut black and white in this case, some well off foreigners come to Thailand so they can de facto, clone themselves at the expense of a not too well educated woman. There is enough just basic "wrongness" on both sides of this case to make it understandable why they banned it in Thailand now. I don't accept the argument that because she rented out her womb, taken money she is now obligated surrender the child to these folks. It's like selling your kidney and wanting to back out at the last minute. I also don't buy into the idea because the couple share the baby's DNA that they have more of a God given moral or legal right to the child even though the birth mother might not. As far as the welfare of the baby goes- I don't see it being enriched simply by living in a foreign developed country as opposed to Thailand where she will have dozens of relatives and extended relations who will love and care for her.

[Jingthing]

The story has been reported for a long time that it was NOT her egg. Now she is claiming she is "not sure" if she has a biological attachment to the baby. Of course that would be relevant if it was her egg and was told it wasn't her egg, but I don't see any actual evidence presented to back that up.

[sammygood]

let the mother that is breaching the contract, pay back the 1 million + 1 million on top as compensation to waiste everybody's time ?

[Baerboxer]

So he will stay in Thailand to be with his daughter who is so special etc etc , even if he loses his job blah de blah... what about the son he would be leaving behind in Spain if he did that.... is he less important????

Why did nt they go to India again , where they obviously had had no previous problems ??

Maybe they are trying to put a globally collected family of kids together , as do The Pitt family. OOOh!!!! lets have one of each colour.

I am always surprised and astonished at observing how people like daw!!!60 are so cruel and without any feelings. I really pity such people.

Note: I am neither gay, nor have I ever used the services of a surrogate mother. I just feel for people in need and this particular couple does need any help they can get, but certainly not scorn!!!!!!

And you feel it's ok for same sex couples to pay someone else to provide them with an offspring?

Oh shock horror all the PC liberals, homosexuals and trendies will accuse me of homophobia. Not at all. Nothing against homosexuals male or female. But something wrong where a same sex couple buy the services of surrogate mum's in different countries. And neglect to mention that fact to the mum.

Every time mankind (probably should say humanity to avoid the lesbian and feminist wrath) tampers and disregards nature there are problems. And we never learn.

Edited July 31, 2015 by Baerboxer

[Baerboxer]

The story has been reported for a long time that it was NOT her egg. Now she is claiming she is "not sure" if she has a biological attachment to the baby. Of course that would be relevant if it was her egg and was told it wasn't her egg, but I don't see any actual evidence presented to back that up.

Hard to understand how a woman who has an egg and then baby grow in her stomach for nine months, fed and nurtured with her blood and vitamins could possibly develop any kind of biological attachment to that baby when it wasn't her egg in the first place? Really ??

Simply "rent a womb" - bit like baking someone else's loaf in your oven.

[Jingthing]

The story has been reported for a long time that it was NOT her egg. Now she is claiming she is "not sure" if she has a biological attachment to the baby. Of course that would be relevant if it was her egg and was told it wasn't her egg, but I don't see any actual evidence presented to back that up.

Hard to understand how a woman who has an egg and then baby grow in her stomach for nine months, fed and nurtured with her blood and vitamins could possibly develop any kind of biological attachment to that baby when it wasn't her egg in the first place? Really ??

Simply "rent a womb" - bit like baking someone else's loaf in your oven.

I never said women carrying babies don't form attachments even if they know it isn't their egg.

Of course that happens quite often.

That is usually addressed in screening the surrogates and in the contracts that make it clear the resulting baby is NOT their baby.

I have said before it is a legit position to oppose ALL surrogacy but to oppose only surrogacy for gay parents is indeed discriminatory.

Edited July 31, 2015 by Jingthing

[smutcakes]

Maybe they can pray to their God that he allow two men to have their own baby, or that is not what he intended anyway.

[Jingthing]

Maybe they can pray to their God that he allow two men to have their own baby, or that is not what he intended anyway.

That's ridiculous.

We all know that is not possible biologically.

Lesbians on the other hand have an advantage in that department.

[PeVee1st]

I read today that the gay man was not too truthful, nor was the surrogate agent. No wonder the "mother" is having 2nd thoughts.

Also, why won't the gay couple submit the child for DNA analysis??

Edited July 31, 2015 by PeVee1st

[Mudcrab]

Wait until he finds out the Thai mother will be chasing him for child support payments for the next umpteen years.

[Jingthing]

Wait until he finds out the Thai mother will be chasing him for child support payments for the next umpteen years.

Good luck with that if she manages to keep this child. It won't be enforced given the background of this case.

I suppose this baby is a bit of a CELEBRITY now. Consider what that could mean if she is kept in Thailand ...

Edited July 31, 2015 by Jingthing

[ThailandGuy]

In a thai agreement / contract there is always the big "maybe"

Edited July 31, 2015 by ThailandGuy

[Jingthing]

Is the ginger guy the Baby Daddy or is it the Spaniard?

[HooHaa]

so, she is willing to give the money back, right?

[Jingthing]

so, she is willing to give the money back, right?

Not sure but she could probably raise the money from right wing American anti-gay groups as they're much more into spreading their homophobia internationally these days as they lost at home. It seems the Daddies deserve more than the fee though ... considering the financial burden of fighting this case for so long.

[greenchair]

let the mother that is breaching the contract, pay back the 1 million + 1 million on top as compensation to waiste everybody's time ?

They all lied to her.

She was told her baby would go to a married couple that could not have a baby . she believed that to be a man and a woman.

When a contract is created omitting information that would be influentual to the decision of a person to sign. It is no longer legal. She only changed her mind after she found out she had been scammed. These guys should pay her another million for misleading her as compensation.

Then sent to court for fraud.

The company and the gay guys, tricked this poor girl.

[Jingthing]

They are legally married and they can't have their own children together. No lie.

[Baerboxer]

The story has been reported for a long time that it was NOT her egg. Now she is claiming she is "not sure" if she has a biological attachment to the baby. Of course that would be relevant if it was her egg and was told it wasn't her egg, but I don't see any actual evidence presented to back that up.

Hard to understand how a woman who has an egg and then baby grow in her stomach for nine months, fed and nurtured with her blood and vitamins could possibly develop any kind of biological attachment to that baby when it wasn't her egg in the first place? Really ??

Simply "rent a womb" - bit like baking someone else's loaf in your oven.

I never said women carrying babies don't form attachments even if they know it isn't their egg.

Of course that happens quite often.

That is usually addressed in screening the surrogates and in the contracts that make it clear the resulting baby is NOT their baby.

I have said before it is a legit position to oppose ALL surrogacy but to oppose only surrogacy for gay parents is indeed discriminatory.

I totally agree with you. The legal position and all circumstances must be made clear before so everyone enters the agreement with full knowledge of what will happen and the outcomes for each party.

Either that or stop surrogacy.

Whichever should apply to all, regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. But, it also needs to be consistent with laws on adoption. In the UK social services were not keen on white people adopting non white babies for instance.

[cookee68]

There are other ways to get his daughter back to his country if need be