How to stop/ slow down?

[gerryBScot]

Cooked just out of interest and excuse me if you've already answered this in the thread, how do you feel in the morning when you wake up?

Same as I did before. Does that make a difference?

How was that Cooked - you feel normal or hungover or what? For what it's worth you're probably someone who has a very high tolerance to alcohol. This is the problem with 'norms', they take no account of variations. What you drink in a day might kill another person over a short period of time. Your metabolic rate might be very fast too to enable you to process alcohol very quickly. There's a whole range of variables. Hence I would agree with those that have said to you that it really is all about how you feel and what you want. If you're happy trying to slow it down go for it. Good luck.

[cooked]

Cooked just out of interest and excuse me if you've already answered this in the thread, how do you feel in the morning when you wake up?

Same as I did before. Does that make a difference?

How was that Cooked - you feel normal or hungover or what? For what it's worth you're probably someone who has a very high tolerance to alcohol. This is the problem with 'norms', they take no account of variations. What you drink in a day might kill another person over a short period of time. Your metabolic rate might be very fast too to enable you to process alcohol very quickly. There's a whole range of variables. Hence I would agree with those that have said to you that it really is all about how you feel and what you want. If you're happy trying to slow it down go for it. Good luck.

Thanks for your comments, I am learning a lot here. Depending on the weather, I feel more or less OK. After a good coffee or two things look better. My father and mother drank like fishes (gave me my first gall of beer when I was nine) and died of tobacco related diseases at over 80.

By the way I had a great struggle preventing the son in law giving his grandson beer at the age of ONE. He still tries to get near my beer if he sees it.

[cooked]

Good grief. In my first post I said I was trying to slow down. I am doing that as best I can, thanks for the support. However people tell me to slow down, so they haven't read my post. Other people haven't read my post:

I got told that I was in denial. No I'm not, that's why I came to this forum to find out, to quote my words:

"So the question is, is this going to hold up or is it too early to tell?

Anybody done anything similar? Or have other advice?"

I was not asking to be preached to about responsibility towards my family: I should have thought that it was evident from my post that I do feel responsible. Nobody is suffering around me, not a word of complaint from the wife, she is supportive.

I was told three times to go to a gym, I have, three times, explained why that is neither possible or necessary.

I am now drinking one beer at 11.30, my meal time, followed by a siesta. By the time I have started off to school I will have had two more small beers, spread out over the previous 3 hours. '

For me this is a major step. I may well follow the advice of one poster to try one day a week without beer at all, now that makes the heart flutter.

If I have read aright, one can of beer needs about 90 minutes to get out of your system. Of course, it still goes through my liver but at least I am more or less sober. i can't say I feel better or worse for having reduced drinking, I never had a hangover for years.

Why slow down? Drink all you want. We are all gonna die sooner or later anyway.

Is this a joke? Money is one reason, running out of which every month is a very good reason for slowing down.

[Rusty Keyhole]

Been following this post from the beginning.

This fella is unhappy with the way his life was going and now is trying to do something about it.

Out of the many comments been posted here,there is perhaps advise from 2 or 3 proper alkis.All the rest is from people that know next to nothing about the illness.All with the best intentions I am sure but why bother.

I have spilled more down my fxxxing tie.

And yes,My name is Xxxxx and I am an alcoholic.

[GarryP]

Every one of us in recovery had a personal bottom. I wish that pawning a ring was as low as I sank.

Perhaps if someone had shaken me up when I was passing that level on my way to the gutter, I would have sought help sooner.

But all my good friends patted me on the head and said “that’s okay, you just need to slow down a little”. They meant well. But it didn’t serve me very well.

I had one friend who sat me down and asked me if I couldn’t see how stupid I was being (her words, verbatim). She risked our long term friendship to get up into my face with that. She was the one that saved my life.

The OP asked for advice. Sorry if mine wasn’t what he wanted to hear. But I stand by it.

I am glad to hear that TOTAL STOP worked for you.

Thanks for posting.

But why do you assume that for the majority of problematic drinkers a total stop is the best solution ?

Perhaps because it is the easiest. People with drinking problems tend to find control is the problem. If they were able to control themselves they would not have drinking problems in the first place.

If the OP really wants to stop but has convinced himself he will not succeed, try hypnotism. He has already admitted he has a problem so is halfway there already.

[cooked]

Thanks for the encouragement I have received in this topic, as for the guy that told me that I would soon be under the ground with cockroaches coming out of my eyes.... well...

I started to note my daily intake but didn't keep it up as I found that I was managing three days on a 24 pack of beer, which is better than two packs (or more) every two days.

First day: first beer at 10am, then one every hour, a catastrophe, that was a 13 a day recipe.

So on to first beer at 11 or 11.30am, one every 90 minutes, no cheating, apart from the last beer which follows on from the last scheduled time.

Problems: I feel obliged to take a beer at the scheduled time even though I could hold out longer. I have occasionally, while working or sleeping, forgotten a beer.Otherwise it works, my wallet says thank you as does my wife. It all sounds rather pedantic and particular but I see it as a step in the right direction.

After stupidly looking at the bagfuls of ginger that we have and wondering what to do with it, we started making ice cold ginger tea with lime, I pin some hope on this.

So the next step will be to follow one piece of advice and try one day a week without beer, not sure I can do that.

[fang37]

Hi, I am the cockroach man.

Give it a little more time, more patience & your new friends will be cockroaches- there will be no other.

Please post photos of you & your new friends.

Edited August 29, 2015 by fang37

[gerryBScot]

Thanks for the encouragement I have received in this topic, as for the guy that told me that I would soon be under the ground with cockroaches coming out of my eyes.... well...

I started to note my daily intake but didn't keep it up as I found that I was managing three days on a 24 pack of beer, which is better than two packs (or more) every two days.

First day: first beer at 10am, then one every hour, a catastrophe, that was a 13 a day recipe.

So on to first beer at 11 or 11.30am, one every 90 minutes, no cheating, apart from the last beer which follows on from the last scheduled time.

Problems: I feel obliged to take a beer at the scheduled time even though I could hold out longer. I have occasionally, while working or sleeping, forgotten a beer.Otherwise it works, my wallet says thank you as does my wife. It all sounds rather pedantic and particular but I see it as a step in the right direction.

After stupidly looking at the bagfuls of ginger that we have and wondering what to do with it, we started making ice cold ginger tea with lime, I pin some hope on this.

So the next step will be to follow one piece of advice and try one day a week without beer, not sure I can do that.

Cooked it may be that an alcohol free day is too ambitious and some times it can be very bad for morale to try to do something and to fail. That sense of failure was always a 'what the **** ' moment for me and led me to get hammered. Perhaps start with one evening and see how that goes, in particular see how it affects your sleep. Also bear in mind that it may take a few weeks to notice any positive effect, so please be patient. Just some suggestions! Good luck.

[gerryBScot]

Hi, I am the cockroach man.

Give it a little more time, more patience & your new friends will be cockroaches- there will be no other.

Please post photos of you & your new friends.

Fang, dear partner in crime, this applies to us all. In time we will all be on familiar terms with the lower orders!

[cooked]

I quite like cockroaches so your subtle attempt to frighten the life out of me and beg your forgiveness for ignoring your advice remains what it is, below contempt.

As I will be cremated, and as I have little fear of death, your offers of help and calling me a fool don't work. Try something else.

[fang37]

No calling you a fool.

I have witnessed same - no BS.

Your life is your life - your choices.

[Aussieroaming]

It's madness. I didn't have a drink for 3 months ..maybe 4 or 5 . I lost over 30 kg this year and now it's for zip.

I thought I was cured ..<deleted> I just wrote a book ...

There is no cure except stop..I promised to slow down but reality is that I'm ramping back up.

I am so totally jacked with myself but at the same time I can't beat that numb feeling I get.

What can I say ..except don't become a tormented person

[big carl]

Well I have not read the thread. But I am very sure yoiu have received some very good advice.

for myself I had to go to AA some went to treatment centers some did both. A treatment center was useless to me as I did not have any comprehension of any thing. All I knew was I had to stop but how. I went to a meeting and haven't had a drink since. Many many years now. They informed me that if I did not take the first drink I would not get drunk. I didn't know that. Just stay away from one beer and you don't have to worry about other beers and your life will get better. An old timer said it was the engine that killed you not the caboose.

The best advice I ever heard for people who were trying to quit was from a fellow with over 50 years. He said quit trying just do it.

Edited September 6, 2015 by big carl

[fang37]

For some of us, slowing down is not an option.

Life destroying - others & myself.

Total abstinence is the only way for me.

Benefits - too many!

[robblok]

For some of us, slowing down is not an option.

Life destroying - others & myself.

Total abstinence is the only way for me.

Benefits - too many!

Some people can handle drugs (alcohol is a hard-drug) others cannot. If you cannot handle it then there is only one option total abstinence. Some people can control it and slow down, I done all sorts of drugs alcohol included in my time and could stop all the time. One of my close friends can't stop, he drinks quite a lot (not living in Thailand), while he has no problem with other drugs.

There is no on fit all solution, those who need to stop completely like to tell all others they have to do the same, while in reality that is not always true. It really depends on the person.

Not going to make any comments if cooked is one of those people who needs to stop completely, by reading his postings I would say so but only he or his close friends family will know for sure.

[fang37]

Agree!

Grog was killing me physically, emotionally & mentally.

Those around me lived in fear.

I was too unpredictable - a walking maniac.

Thankfully, 1984 brought an end to it all=a new & far superior life.

[robblok]

Agree!

Grog was killing me physically, emotionally & mentally.

Those around me lived in fear.

I was too unpredictable - a walking maniac.

Thankfully, 1984 brought an end to it all=a new & far superior life.

Violent drunks are the worst, not many other drugs make people behave as bad as alcohol. Though all alcohol does for me is make me more talkative and then if I drink more fall asleep.

[fang37]

Violence when intoxicated - quite common.

When sober, frightened little boys.

Alcohol for me - blackouts, made a nuisance of myself & thought that I was irresistible to the fairer sex.

Finished thankfully.

Sobriety is a gift - I treasure it & respect it.

I am only one drink away from being a total lunatic AGAIN.

To those who can drink in moderation & socially, my hat goes off to you.

I don't need a drink & I don't want a drink. The price is too high for me.

Have a drink in my home anytime. There is ample in stock - not rubbish either.

[jvs]

Would it also make a difference what kind of beer you drink?Maybe you could switch to a beer you do not really like and that may make it easier to drink less.

Also instead of skipping a whole day of drinking you could skip a beer?,and later on maybe every other beer and so on.

Good luck.

[fang37]

Would it also make a difference what kind of beer you drink?Maybe you could switch to a beer you do not really like and that may make it easier to drink less.

Also instead of skipping a whole day of drinking you could skip a beer?,and later on maybe every other beer and so on.

Good luck.

I would like to take a bet the system fails.

Give ya 6/4.

Tomorrow, maybe 2/1.

[fang37]

I hear a rumour! Is it true? Dennis 123 is cured. Now, he can drink socially.

He can drink when he chooses - he is in total control.

CONGRATULATIONS, DENNIS

[fang37]

I have seen members of AA think that they are only a bit alcoholic.

They are invited to do some more research.

True, some don't come back - pride?

Others, tail between their legs. Invariably, they achieve quality sobriety after their return.

[fang37]

Pain is a great motivator.

Well, for me it is.

[impulse]

There is no on fit all solution, those who need to stop completely like to tell all others they have to do the same, while in reality that is not always true. It really depends on the person.

While I agree that some folks don't need to stop completely, it's the only 100% solution that works for everyone. What do you figure doctors would recommend for cancer patients if there were a single 100% cure that works for everyone?

Every other solution carries risk. And when dealing with alcoholism, the risk is on the level of life or death.

If you don't like staying stopped, you can always change your mind and try some controlled drinking once your head clears. If you crash your car and kill someone under the influence, it's too late to change your mind...

And my usual caveat- If alcohol isn't causing problems, enjoy it. I mean that with all sincerity. But if it is causing problems, look to the folks who have demonstrated they know how to stop for your advice.

[fang37]

An honest desire to stop is a big factor.

[fang37]

Hey, why bother with this?

Drink up & be merry.

Hey, it is your shout, buddy.

[dennis123]

Yep, can definitely say I'm not an alcoholic, haven't had a beer for 2.5 weeks while there are 3 beers in my fridge, no urge either.

Oops, I'm lieing lol, bad memory, yesterday I had one coffee with Kahlua and one coffee with Baileys I think it was.

Actually I didn't like either much, I'd prefer Amaretto in my coffee but it seems few places have that in Pattaya.

Edited October 17, 2015 by dennis123

[fang37]

Congratulations, Dennis.

[dennis123]

Congratulations, Dennis.

Oops, I'm lieing lol, bad memory, yesterday I had one coffee with Kahlua and one coffee with Baileys I think it was.

Actually I didn't like either much, I'd prefer Amaretto in my coffee but it seems few places have that in Pattaya.

[fang37]

That wouldn't count as a slip, would it?