Personal relationships - Are you are giver or taker? Why?

[fang37]

It appears that is the way it is.

The giver has something to give?

The taker wants something? What is missing?

I have always been the giver.

YOU?

[bkksteve123]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

[lovelomsak]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

[AlexRRR]

Ahhhh just tell the TGF she has to cook one meal a week...and not omelette.

[JLCrab]

I know you said 'personal' relationships, but I once worked for an exec at a substantial company where my job was to come up with new product ideas. I would come up with 3 new ideas:

The first two he would say were terrible ideas; the third idea was a good one and he was glad he had thought of it.

[villagefarang]

No matter how slovenly, vulgar and abusive the guy is Thai girls seem to just take it, so I guess I am in agreement with Thai girls being takers.

[TP1]

No matter how slovenly, vulgar and abusive the guy is Thai girls seem to just take it, so I guess I am in agreement with Thai girls being takers.

We are all takers, men and women.

Women are looking for financial support and stability.

Men are looking to take what they can't have in their own countries and also to be served as they think it's appropriate as they pay the money.

Let's not try to hide behind our little finger.

We all take, either we deserve it or not.

[i claudius]

Am i a taker or a giver? ,well ,i give my wife love and affection ,she does the same to me ,i get a good pension and buy things ,she has a good job and does the same , she does the garden ,i watch tv or go on the internet , she washes the car and cleans inside , i dry it , she cleans the house ,i watch . so she more than likely gives a bit more than me ,so i am a taker ,but then ----

[GuestHouse]

Another thread deserving of privileges of doctor/patient confidentiality.

[humqdpf]

Another thread deserving of privileges of doctor/patient confidentiality.

I used to be interested in psychology and psychotherapy until I met a therapist who told me that the neuroses and mental bullshit of his patients used to bore him to tears. A bit like this thread, actually.

[MrBrilliant]

Oh dear. Another door open for the buffoons to spout their 'I gave my missus 5 million baht and she never said thanks but moved in with her 'brother' brigade.....

[elgordo38]

Another thread deserving of privileges of doctor/patient confidentiality.

I used to be interested in psychology and psychotherapy until I met a therapist who told me that the neuroses and mental bullshit of his patients used to bore him to tears. A bit like this thread, actually.

Give your high falutin ego a wash and rinse and hang it out to dry. Come on be a sport come down to earth and talk to us mortals. Your on TV to have some fun not make sport of others(In the truth of true disclosure I am sometimes guilty) Maybe you still have the therapist's phone number give him/her a call. Go for a tuneup.

[smotherb]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

Geez, you guys who complain about Thai women not doing a thing for you. Why do you settle for those women who can't or won't do anything? Seems to me you ought to sort out what you want in a woman before you commit to them. Why are so many men such fools?

[smotherb]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

Finding a woman on a dating site is suspect to start, but when you respond to someone who says, "I'm looking for someone to love me" or "someone to take care (of) me," you are the problem.

[fish fingers]

Then again, Thai women expect alot of loving, at least mine does. I call it give and give

She's gives to me and I give to her, easy!

There's alot of misunderstanding of the needs of (thai)women on TV

[smotherb]

No matter how slovenly, vulgar and abusive the guy is Thai girls seem to just take it, so I guess I am in agreement with Thai girls being takers.

We are all takers, men and women.

Women are looking for financial support and stability.

Men are looking to take what they can't have in their own countries and also to be served as they think it's appropriate as they pay the money.

Let's not try to hide behind our little finger.

We all take, either we deserve it or not.

A true relationship is give and take on both parts. Does no one have a mutual relationship with a woman?

While it may be true the traditional relationship between men and women is that men are the breadwinners and women the homemakers; it was still give and take on both parts.

Relationships have significantly changed today; more women are working and bring home some bacon and more men are doing housework in addition to their jobs; but their relationship is still based on give and take on both parts.

It seems the normal relationship of TV posters is they give money and the women take it. It seems the only thing the women give is a shot of leg, but the men take it. I suppose you could still argue that is give and take too.

How have so many men fallen into these financial, rather than loving, relationships? I think I know, you fall for a bundle of fluff and simply pay for it. That in itself is not so bad, but complaining about the relationship you built is fool-hardy at best. Use your big head once in a while.

[sixthelement]

by 'giving' a woman means 'time' and 'affection' not necessarily 'money'.

Ow wait...

[MaeJoMTB]

No matter how slovenly, vulgar and abusive the guy is Thai girls seem to just take it, so I guess I am in agreement with Thai girls being takers.

Masters right to treat servants badly.

If you are paying them, they can take it or work somewhere else.

[oxo1947]

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

Wow you got a real good one then...........................

[seancbk]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

Geez, you guys who complain about Thai women not doing a thing for you. Why do you settle for those women who can't or won't do anything? Seems to me you ought to sort out what you want in a woman before you commit to them. Why are so many men such fools?

Well said. I'm talking with my girlfriend in Bangkok about her moving in with me in a month or so and she wants me to get rid of the maid, as she said she can do all the cleaning, cooking, etc.

I already know she's a very good cook as I've eaten at her Mother's condo (food prepared by my GF for her Mum and I).

Why would anyone marry a girl without first knowing if she can actually cook more than a few simple dishes, and that she genuinely enjoys doing it; or whether she likes to keep the home clean and tidy.

Then again if your wife can't cook and doesn't like doing housework, but she offers some other advantage like speaking fluent English and having a brain so you can enjoy her company more, then why not just hire a live-in maid to clean and cook?

Surely in the places a lot of TV members seem to live getting a maid would hardly cost much.

I pay my maid 9000 baht a month plus she has her own room so free accommodation. I also provide basic food, and of course water, electric and internet she doesn't need to pay for.

[MaeJoMTB]

Why would anyone marry a girl without first knowing if she can actually cook more than a few simple dishes,

Probably because most men want a wife for sex (and love?), not general domestic duties.

[steven100]

I give and I take ... I love only beer & sex ...

[dotpoom]

It's always been "give and take" in my marriage.....I do all the giving and she does all the taking.

[pgrahmm]

My wife is a giver - it's her nature...Oldest daughter is a giver - it's her nature.....I'm a giver - it's my nature.....

Youngest daughter = taker - we're working on it.....

[catman20]

Ahhhh just tell the TGF she has to cook one meal a week...and not omelette.

then ull be F..........D

[catman20]

My wife is a giver - it's her nature...Oldest daughter is a giver - it's her nature.....I'm a giver - it's my nature.....

Youngest daughter = taker - we're working on it.....

I knew we have one who's lady is DIFFRENT

[Tassie Norm]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

Your own experience(s) gentlemen. I seriously wonder what experience(s) you had with the opposite sex in your countries of birth? Time to take some responsibility for your life, where did it go wrong, was "I a contributor". Just reflect.

[MaeJoMTB]

I think most girls are takers. In Thailand obviously men are givers, women are takers. You can see this simply by reading their "Dating profiles" which typically goes something like this: "I'm looking for someone to love me, for someone to take care (of) me" etc. You hardly ever see the opposite i.e. "I'm looking for someone to love, someone to take care of".

And yes, before anyone starts telling me about how their TGF is amazing and cooks & cleans, of course there are exceptions.

I quite agree. The giving of thai women is so superficial. When in public they put food on your plate things like that. At home cannot cook and prefer to eat out or takeout,sweep the floor once a day and feel they have done enough.Want everything they see and when they get it home it just sits and never gets used. And if the giving stops you see her childish side where she does not talk and refuses to do anything just sits.

Your own experience(s) gentlemen. I seriously wonder what experience(s) you had with the opposite sex in your countries of birth? Time to take some responsibility for your life, where did it go wrong, was "I a contributor". Just reflect.

While many would like to believe that their life is in their own hands, it is rarely a fact.

Your can't predict the way another person behaves, your wife can easily asset strip you .... should you always remain single?

Your employment is dependent on the economy and your employer.

Your pension is dependent on many random factors, that constantly change at someone else's diktat.

Your health is almost totally outside your control, genetics, accidents, disease.

For a man,

Life is mainly luck.

95% chance, 5% planning.

[opalred]

go to jail you will learn who is the giver or taker

[Blitzkrieg Bob]

After 14 years of making the wong choices in LOS (too young, always after the most pretty ones, etc.), I found my wife, we're together for 11 years now, have two great kids and have some good fights at times. In my case I can say that without her I wouldn't be where I, respectively we, are today. Her hard work and determination, plus her great personality - outgoing, funny, friendly and genuine - won over so many people and new friends, and she is of great help to me every day. While others' wifes yearn for shopping and cash, her biggest dream would be to live and work in our farm full time. She's at eye level with our Thai and burmese employees and would never have any wannabe HiSo fits plus is she a great mom to our kids, generally interested in all things, hates Thai soaps and wants to watch all movies in original soundtrack since she branded the Thai translated versions as "lame". As I said, we have our fights, she and I have our erratic mood swings, but that's life... I feel blessed!!! To answer the OP's question - both of us, my wife and I give and take - door swings both ways in our relationship, and I know that is very seldom here.