lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I angered my wife by a chance remark about Thainess, telling her to grow up and smell the roses; we are not living in some kind of fantasy land where superstition and tradition take the place of reason and reality. My point is; now I am debating how to get out of the dog house. Do I bribe her with food and shopping or do I just let it ride and fester and maybe lead to a full scale argument and end in me leaving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TP1 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 You've been bribing her for years now, sorry meant to say supporting, so there is no way she will let you go, for any reason or circumstances. Good for you to put your foot down. You are the provider, you call the shots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 No. Although it would be fairly meaningless if I did, because as a married couple our money is shared anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBrilliant Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 It isn't 'bribery' but treating her like a spoiled brat....either man up and be the boss or have a life of her walking all over you.... we are not living in some kind of fantasy land You're heading there, or rather she is. One pout, one sulk and she's off shopping with her fingers in your wallet..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Do I bribe her with food and shopping or do I just let it ride and fester and maybe lead to a full scale argument and end in me leaving? That depends on two things ... How strongly you consider what you said to be your honest opinion and your belief and it's not for compromise. ? And how much you consider your relationship is worth and appreciated. Would you depart because of different beliefs ? Complete those 2 questions and you will have your answer .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orac Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 If you are in Thailand then you clearly are living in a fantasy land where superstition and tradition take the place of reason and reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Do I bribe her with food and shopping or do I just let it ride and fester and maybe lead to a full scale argument and end in me leaving? That depends on two things ... How strongly you consider what you said to be your honest opinion and your belief and it's not for compromise. ? And how much you consider your relationship is worth and appreciated. Would you depart because of different beliefs ? Complete those 2 questions and you will have your answer .... What do you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 No. Although it would be fairly meaningless if I did, because as a married couple our money is shared anyway. I wouldn't know either as we are not married and I only bribe her Mother to let me hang out with her voluptuous daughter without marrying her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 You've been bribing her for years now, sorry meant to say supporting, so there is no way she will let you go, for any reason or circumstances. Good for you to put your foot down. You are the provider, you call the shots No, we split the bills. I have my accounts and she hers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 It isn't 'bribery' but treating her like a spoiled brat....either man up and be the boss or have a life of her walking all over you.... we are not living in some kind of fantasy land You're heading there, or rather she is. One pout, one sulk and she's off shopping with her fingers in your wallet..... This is our first argument in 4 years. She is not pouting really after the first day more like a quiet simmer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 You own the problem = caused by your words....But, seems you've been there before - unkown if WW3's are common in your house....Or if culture differences define your relationship... Sounds like she took it as a slight against her beliefs - and that should take an explanation - not a bribe which can lead to future manipulation... I'd first let her calm down.....Be nice and don't add any fuel to the fire - it can only get worse if you do...... If you were wrong a simple apology should do..... We use courtesies as Thank you or I'm sorry in our house..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 (edited) Now she probably had a good laugh at you. She can get money anytime you say something, just by claiming you hurt her feelings. Let's face it....a woman's face just lights up whenever they "acquire" cash. My wife's face is all aglow. Us men have to work to acquire cash. Giving money to a lady, and buying gifts is all part of God's plan for wreaking havoc in the world. Adam screwed up the whole deal, and now men are paying off the debt. Who said God has no sense of humor? When we get old and finally can afford to give a woman beautiful things (and cash to buy more) we cannot even get it up anymore. Edited August 26, 2015 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Let's face it....a woman's face just lights up whenever they "acquire" cash. My wife's face is all aglow. Us men have to work to acquire cash. That might be true for you and your wife. Not all women are so financially driven, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 You own the problem = caused by your words....But, seems you've been there before - unkown if WW3's are common in your house....Or if culture differences define your relationship... Sounds like she took it as a slight against her beliefs - and that should take an explanation - not a bribe which can lead to future manipulation... I'd first let her calm down.....Be nice and don't add any fuel to the fire - it can only get worse if you do...... If you were wrong a simple apology should do..... We use courtesies as Thank you or I'm sorry in our house..... I rarely voice my opinions about anything anymore. No wars here. In the middle of my little speech about rationality she told me to stop talking and I did. Further mention seemed to aggravate the problem so I shut up. I'm not even close to being wrong so no chance of me saying I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I'm not even close to being wrong so no chance of me saying I'm sorry. Quelle surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBrilliant Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 No wars here. In the middle of my little speech about rationality she told me to stop talking and I did Why did you stop talking? Sounds like she's the 'boss' already. My advice is explain to her you were making a point, make that point, and if she can't understand it, keep making it until she does or you're in for a rough ride.... The snag with threads like this is that the fantasists take over rattling on about their 'perfect marriages' and 'perfect wives' etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Your in Thailand so you are living in a land of fantasy that logic no not of......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canman Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Yes, I bribe my wife with sex all the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canman Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Do I bribe her with food and shopping or do I just let it ride and fester and maybe lead to a full scale argument and end in me leaving? That depends on two things ... How strongly you consider what you said to be your honest opinion and your belief and it's not for compromise. ? And how much you consider your relationship is worth and appreciated. Would you depart because of different beliefs ? Complete those 2 questions and you will have your answer .... Male compromise in a marriage: I wanted a dog My wife wanted a cat So we compromised and got a cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBrilliant Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Yes, I bribe my wife with sex all the time! Who with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Do I bribe her with food and shopping or do I just let it ride and fester and maybe lead to a full scale argument and end in me leaving? That depends on two things ... How strongly you consider what you said to be your honest opinion and your belief and it's not for compromise. ? And how much you consider your relationship is worth and appreciated. Would you depart because of different beliefs ? Complete those 2 questions and you will have your answer .... What do you do? I built a house, all wood ... when the steps were made they had to be 3 or 5 steps ..could not be 4 because of beliefs. Anyway, I wasn't there at the time and they made five steps .. which looks wrong in my opinion. Rather than rant & rave and cause an argument I just left it alone ... however, I will have them changed to 3 steps soon enough. The point being, just let it go as all relationships have different ideas on what is good, what is bad, what you don't like and she has things she likes. Everyone is different, everyone has a different opinion ... her beliefs are her beliefs and you won't change that and why should you .. it's her opinion not yours. Just let it be ... go with the flow and forget it was ever a problem. Why escalate something that is going to cause a problem in your life and hers. I'm sure you value the relationship more than that as she does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 (edited) I'm not even close to being wrong so no chance of me saying I'm sorry. Quelle surprise. Is the moon made of green cheese? That kind of argument. I guess one could say I should not have mentioned the moon was not made of green cheese because no one in Thailand ever mentions the moon is not made of green cheese. Edited August 26, 2015 by lostoday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Tomorrow is another day, if she still has "attitude" then clearly it needs sorting and possibly further discussion, if not, move on, everyone's entitled to their belief and opinion. Life would be pretty boring if there werent the odd disagreement or difference of opinion. A relationship is a two way street, and certainly not worth walking out over, unless the relationship has already hit rock bottom and this is the preverbial "last straw" in a long line of instances over a long period of time. Only you know the answer to that. Bribe?...no, but nothing wrong in sharing a nice meal out, or a trip to Swensons to calm the waters and carry on again.That's not saying sorry, its calming things down and moving forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostoday Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Tomorrow is another day, if she still has "attitude" then clearly it needs sorting and possibly further discussion, if not, move on, everyone's entitled to their belief and opinion. Life would be pretty boring if there werent the odd disagreement or difference of opinion. A relationship is a two way street, and certainly not worth walking out over, unless the relationship has already hit rock bottom and this is the preverbial "last straw" in a long line of instances over a long period of time. Only you know the answer to that. More like, "first straw." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 It isn't about bribery per se... You dismissed her belief system as a fantasy... No amount of pak wan is going to get you out of this one... Best to go buy a dozen amulets, start drinking lao khoa the village elders, go to temple to make merit and beg forgiveness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 No. Although it would be fairly meaningless if I did, because as a married couple our money is shared anyway. I'm similar, I have my money and Mrs Possum has hers, we do spend money on each other now and again also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoneyboy Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 (edited) I often bribe her with the trouser snake. Edited August 26, 2015 by stoneyboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBrilliant Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I often bribe her with the trouser snake. Whose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoneyboy Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Those in awe of the beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 No. Although it would be fairly meaningless if I did, because as a married couple our money is shared anyway.I wouldn't know either as we are not married and I only bribe her Mother to let me hang out with her voluptuous daughter without marrying her. ...and use her picture as my avatar.... Buddy switch back to the old one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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