Fell hopelessly for a poor Thai girl with a bad past.

[somtum16]

hi,

just thought id ask here for some advice on my situation. youve probably all heard loads of similar stories, or maybe not. im 25 and i first went to thailand 2 years ago. had a great time and met a girl from isaan while i was in chiang mai. we had a bit of fun, she got my skype and i thought nothing more of it. actually she told me she loves me a few days after i left and i got freaked out and told her not to say that. being a newb to thailand I never knew this was how some women acted.

anyway i went home, and found that she was calling me nearly every day. im quite a lonely person (introverted and a bit shy) so it was nice to have her to chat to now and again. she was feeding me all this crap about how she was waiting for me to return and that im the only man in her life blah blah. i believed some of it but didnt feel too attached to her so i wasnt thinking too much about what she got up to when im not there. i got busy with work at home and was only talking to her now and then. thailand made such a good impression on me that i returned last october and spent 4 days with this same girl, because well, why not. Tears were shed when i left but we remained in contact.

Then one day suddenly she deleted me out of the blue on facebook. i had a quick look at her friends page and saw she was off with another man. it wasnt my place to be accusing her of cheating seeing as we werent officially in a relationship, but i guess i was hurt by my own naiivety. i returned in february and stayed with her for another 4 weeks and got to know her a lot better. After this time we became "exclusive". Probably foolish of me but I have to admit i really like her. by the third time i was in thailand i was a bit more informed about what goes on there. she works in a thai massage shop on loi kroh and i hadnt thought too much about that before (i didnt meet her in the massage environment, i met her at zoe in yellow). but having gone for a good few massages and knowing she is poor, I assumed she gave handjobs. I asked her to be honest about everything with me and she eventually spilled the beans that yes she gave handjobs. At first it was difficult for me to get my head around but i eventually empathized with her situation.

Anyway, ive since been with her for another 5 weeks since february. the more i see her, the more i like her. i was thinking many times of calling it off with her because im in no doubt she gives handjobs still and the distance makes it hard to trust. she has admitted that before i was her boyfriend she used to go with a fair few falang because she wanted to find someone she liked. putting food on the table obviously comes before love so clearly she does still offer sexual services. ive read up on these types of relationships so many times, but i do genuinely believe this girl loves me. and thats what makes it difficult.

i help her out with the rent for her room when i can, but thats the extent that my help goes. i think she is being faithful to me in terms of not going off with other blokes. but every time i see her there are some warning signs i ignore about what she gets up to when im not there. i remember one day she was scrolling through her phone, mostly thai names on the recently dialled. then i seen someone called andy. apparently it was a customer calling to ask if she was working so he could massage there (struggled to believe that one but i let it slide) then another time i saw 2 cinema tickets in her room from a couple weeks before i arrived. we talk every day and she had never mentioned she had gone to the cinema so alarm bells were ringing but apparently she went with her friend. she didnt tell me because she didnt want me annoying her with questions like "how do u have money to go to see a movie?" . but then on the other hand she is talking about quitting massage to become a waitress because she knows im not comfortable with her job. theres just so much confusion going on in my head.

many times she tells me not to think too much. that in the past she has done wrong but she wont do it again because she really loves me. it might sound cliche as hell to some guys in here but i believe she loves me or at least sees me as more than a walking atm. ive spent enough time with her to judge that she genuinely has feelings for me. the problem is that when im not there, she most likely sees it as no harm to screw around a bit despite being in a relationship. its easy to lie when u live far away. she talks to me constantly and calls everynight before bed on line but i know that doesnt necessarily mean she is being faithful.

anyway ive rambled on long enough now and just going to ask the question? what should i do in this situation? i feel strongly about her. we've been thru a lot of shit and fights and great times and fantastic memories. this girl is 32 by the way and by no means upper tier in terms of looks. by that i mean she is not drop dead gorgeous, (but she is in my eyes and im sure other mens eyes, quite hot). Am i being foolish for staying in touch with her? i know its easy from the outside to say just drop her but when u feel strongly about someone and genuinely care for their well-being and have brilliant memories with them, its very hard to let go. can these relationships ever work or am i fooling myself?

[jacky54]

Is she a prostitute? if so then yes you are fooling yourself. Prostitutes are for sex, not relationships.

Edited September 15, 2015 by jacky54

[NOC]

I'm giving it a 1 on the troll finger scale.

[somtum16]

not trolling at all. just looking for advice. i didnt know that was a crime. but if im not welcome here then fair enough apologies for posting.

[pgrahmm]

If she works on Loi Kroh she makes out calls at night to the nearby hotels.....Probably 200/300B fine to massage parlor - then fees are negotiated in the hotel room for the all night "massage"......

If you are not a troll - you got the wrong gal.....

Get tested.....

[NeverSure]

Well, if she only gives hand jobs then what's the problem...

[CharlieH]

CLOSED

17) You will not discuss the specifics of prostitution. Though Thailand has a visible sex industry, and acknowledgement of that fact is not forbidden, ThaiVisa is not the place to seek or give information on this topic, regardless of your sexual habits, preferences or orientation.

[somtum16]

If she works on Loi Kroh she makes out calls at night to the nearby hotels.....Probably 200/300B fine to massage parlor - then fees are negotiated in the hotel room for the all night "massage"......

If you are not a troll - you got the wrong gal.....

Get tested.....

Been tested as recently as 3 weeks ago. After months of (admittedly silly) unprotected sex with her. Came back clean. I'm not saying you're wrong, maybe she is doing that sort of shit at night. But she usually calls me when she comes home after her shop closes (around 11.30 or midnight) and chats with me for an hour or 2.