You know you have been in Thailand too long.......

[AlQaholic]

Thought I would do this one again, haven't seen one for a while......Some of the content has been borrowed from others and I added some of my own...

Please feel free to expand/comment

• You too believe traffic lanes, stop signs and one way streets are mere suggestions and that sidewalks were meant to drive on or they wouldn't have paved them.
• You can drive 60 km/h two inches from cars on either side of you, but cannot back into a parking space in an empty lot without two guys yelling “Toy toy toy, paa, toy, jut"
• You can kill cockroaches with your bare feet
• The footprints on the toilet seat are your own, and you can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants when leaving the rest room
• You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue
• You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day
• It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody else can get off
• It is no longer surprising that the only real decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting
• You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes
• You answer the telephone with “Hello” more than 2 times
• You are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items on the menu, and you regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different
• You believe everything you read in the local newspaper
• You're not surprised when four men with a ladder show up in your office to change a light bulb
• You enjoy the song "Country road...." sung by someone who doesn't know a word of English
• Going out for a drink with your coworker, he shows up with his girlfriend, even though you are on a first name basis with his wife
• You ask a person taking your order, “Do you have cheeseburgers?” and the server responds, “Yes, we do.” And so you say, “OK, I'll order a cheeseburger.” And the server says, “I'm sorry, we're out of cheeseburgers.”
• You don't find it strange that there seems to be an old woman living permanently in the men's rest room at the shopping mall, and she always cleans the floor around you when you are going about your business
• You look left, right, backwards, forwards, up and down before crossing a one way street.
• You've seen every Hollywood blockbuster three weeks before its premier
• You sing along with the adverts on TV
• You pick your nose in public
• You start to pronounce 'Computer' as 'Computaaa'
• The sidewalk Indian tailor ushers has stopped harassing you a long time ago
• Someone says "Bai nai maa?" and you don't think they are using baby talk
• You find a fly in your noodle soup, and you fish the fly out with a spoon and eat it anyway
• You find a fly in your noodle soup, and you eat it fly and all, after all it's a good source of protein
• you make at least two visits a day to a coffee shop when you're in the mall
• you are no longer confused when you see "grilled crap" in the menu

[Soutpeel]

You know you have been in Thailand to long when you read a thread on TV entitled "you know you have been in Thailand too long" for the millionth time....

[Loeilad]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

[thehelmsman]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

One man's prejudices, another man's life's experiences.

[BudRight]

You stop playing the "I've been here longer/ long time" game and tell people you're a tourist. They don't believe you.

Edited September 29, 2015 by BudRight

[Loeilad]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

One man's prejudices, another man's life's experiences.

No sir, it is thinking that these are one man's experiences that shows that they are in reality just confirmation bias of one's prejudices......

[mesquite]

You've been called "Handsome Man" so many times you actually think you're handsome.

[AlQaholic]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

It is meant to be entertaining, of course nothing in the list applies to real life.

[frimu]

You see a ladyboy in a lady, but then hear her talk and realise, it actually really is a lady, just a tall one.

[DanielGoldfish]

Apparently, have not been here long enough — gotta know the answer to the "Mercedes" mystery!

[CharlieH]

When you can point with your lips !

and when agreeing you start using "ugh ugh"

[NoshowJones]

You drive along a motorway kilo after kilo where the road has been rutted the full width of it, and there have been no workmen

there since the week before to do the resurfacing.

Edited September 29, 2015 by possum1931

[overherebc]

Re ghost behind tree.

When you actually know where 'behind the tree' is

[fang37]

Speak 1/2 Thai & 1/2 Angrit - all in the same sentence.

Rather than say "I", "I" is replaced by your Christian name.

"Bill lup".

[rjcampbe]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

And the same endless rant goes round and round.

It's humor, and it is no different than any list of blond jokes or any other kind of joke you aren't allowed to tell in America anymore because of the politically correct crowd.

OF COURSE they are stereotypes... of course they are generalizations... But we all know that we have all experienced these things, or similar, and that means that we can collectively find humor in them.

Maybe you are one of the PC folks that are easily offended, and I do agree that it is possible to cross the line and be offensive in making a joke, but there is nothing on this list like that. It's a benign list of everyday occurrences. There is nothing vulgar in it.

I just don't see what you are blowing your top over.

[biplanebluey]

when you can read all the above post replies and actually understand them all !!!!!

[Loeilad]

You know you are a typical expat if after all the time (probably too long) you've spent in Thailand you have learned so little that you think that writing down this list of cliches has any value other than confirming one's own prejudices

And the same endless rant goes round and round.

It's humor, and it is no different than any list of blond jokes or any other kind of joke you aren't allowed to tell in America anymore because of the politically correct crowd.

OF COURSE they are stereotypes... of course they are generalizations... But we all know that we have all experienced these things, or similar, and that means that we can collectively find humor in them.

Maybe you are one of the PC folks that are easily offended, and I do agree that it is possible to cross the line and be offensive in making a joke, but there is nothing on this list like that. It's a benign list of everyday occurrences. There is nothing vulgar in it.

I just don't see what you are blowing your top over.

1 - I'm not "blowing my top"

2 - "PC" isn't an argument

3 - "humour" - It isn't funny

[jerome2]

When you start to say check the bin

[CharlieH]

Soutpeel is not the topic here.

Post making personal remarks and ANY post commenting/discussing other members will be removed.

[Shiver]

The first list like this I ever saw had a couple of others, such as:

"...you start to believe a Honda Civic is a Hi-So car" (maybe Mercedes is more appropriate now, as they're a lot cheaper in the west).

"...You hide from the midday sun behind a lamp post"

There was one about putting a garland on the rear view mirror of a submarine, but I can't remember it verbatim.

[DeeMak9]

Had a good laugh :-), thanks!

[Paul Laycock]

When you start fancying the mother in law, or when you ask for your beer to be put on ice, just to see the waitress pouring the contents into an ice bucket.

[ggt]

When you get excited about going to Hua Hin and visiting the ex-pats chess club for entertainment...

[Fabricus]

When you start fancying the mother in law, or when you ask for your beer to be put on ice, just to see the waitress pouring the contents into an ice bucket.

RE: When you start fancying the mother in law.

Huh?

[kaneko86]

When you must to ask your thai gf how to say something in english because you just remember the thai word for it.

[Ace of Pop]

When you debate the merits of trucks

[Emster23]

You enjoy reading topics on TV and the streams of insults, sanity questions and off topic drivel in response posts. Reminds us of what once was "home".

[Nemesis7]

enjoyed the replies. Good laugh...

[steven100]

when you think the shitty crappy internet your using is normal ..

[NoshowJones]

You've been called "Handsome Man" so many times you actually think you're handsome.

I have never been called "handsome man" and yet I really am handsome.