What would you advise the bunch of long stayers who became full of cynicism?

[duanebigsby]

I think the biggest problem with most of the expats living in Thailand is quite simply that they don't do anything! I couldn't face a life of staying in a condo all day watching TV or being on the internet.( it would drive me nuts....) Thailand offers a great " outdoor life " of walking,beaches,exploring,photography and some parts even perfect for Bike Rides too! So rather than spend all day enclosed in a room with the air con switched on max,get out there and " enjoy life " or you might as well go back to europe and live in a static caravan!

F.J x

Good advice!

I'm a photographer/artist, painting and drawing.I rediscovered creativity that had been lost back home. Completely revitalized.

Anyone can draw and paint , it just takes an interest.

I love going for a motorbike ride somewhere new with my sketching stuff.

Am I any good? Naaa......pretty much <deleted> but who cares?

[billd766]

I wish all the time that I could go home, but I am married to a Thai girl who could not survive England. I am a semi-invalid, 76 years old, and would die if I had to leave her after 13 years of marriage. So comments like "go home" are so crass. We have enough money to live on, but now from being 100% active to being almost totally inactive is just existence and not living.

Most of the comments were directed at the OP not at yourself. With your skills im sure you could imerse yourself with something online or learn a new skill? Your never too old to learn

Prof,where does your wife come from? Surely her hometown is not Pattaya? At your age you should be living in a nice place in the country, enjoying the simple pleasures of birds singing in the morning.There's nothing to beat nature, especially when we know we are in our sunset years...,we're going back to where we came from, It's comforting with contentment and dignity.... and the internet connections are as good as Bangkok.!

I live in rural Thailand and it is great for me but not for everyone.

The main thing I have learned about nature is that sunshine and rain makes the grass grow. The bad thing is it grows so fast, the good thing I that I get exercise when I cut it.

[duanebigsby]

Pros

History

This 'History' keeps popping up every now and then...would someone enlighten me what I have missed here?

Reading about Thailand's history, it is full of power struggles and land disputes...war...slavery...much everything that Buddhism does not consider as good things.

When it comes to historical sites much would be needed to restore them to same level we can experience in Europe. Not to mention lack of art museums, well maintained artifact exhibitions and so on. And on top of that most "historical" buildings have been remade from concrete their murals painted with acrylic paints...

Best idea I got reading some old Thai poetry from a book series by UNESCO and that was not much. It was nice and touching but one of the few rare moments that I got anything new from this so called culture. And asking an average Thai is far from helpful...they simply have no idea.

So, I really would like to know what about this so called 'History' here?

Can you name any country in the world whose history didn't involve power struggles or land disputes? Many also involved slavery.

It will be many years before 3rd world countries get their historical sites to the level of European sites. But Ayuttaya, Sukhothai, and Chiang Saen, the oldest sites in Thailand are wonderfully preserved.

Have you been to Bangkok's Aviation Museum? Have you been to Chiang Saen's Lanna Kingdom museum? Opium Museum in the Golden Triangle?

I'm sure others can list more.

Thailand has history.

[Ulic]

Take the "cure" Go home for 3 months. If that does not make you appreciate Thailand (SEA)

it is probably time for you to head back home.

[bazza40]

don't listen to the wingers and whiners, just drink as much piss as you can.

I much prefer a Twinings tea with a scone or pikelet.

What do you do when you want to live it up? Switch to Earl Grey?

[bazza40]

I think that anyone with over ten thousand posts on this forum should be put down! These are the guys who clearly never leave their bar stools and go out and see what is actually happening in this great country.

Complete rubbish. Guys like Ubon Joe are a valuable resource, and I'll bet you'd be one of the first to be seeking his advice if you had a visa problem. Do try to grow a few more brain cells before posting again.

[Shaunduhpostman]

I don't buy the idea that there are negative people. How would I know whether someone is negative or not? I have no magic window on their whole life, I have no way to get inside the skin of others in the past present or even the future who might have been done a fantastically good turn by someone who at the present moment, to me seems to be bitching and moaning about things that i ahve no experience or knowledge of and thus fail to appreciate and just write the guy off. There are people who bother me and whom I may not like at all and may even leave quickly to get away from, and these sorts may even indeed bother others, but I see it as kind of over-reaching to have this notion of them being finally and sort of objectively seen as being "negative" people. It sounds like it is some case closed type of thing and that they are sort of permanently just condemned to the 5th ring of purgatory because we at Thai Visa don't like their chortlings and various and sundry coughings when we might be trying to enjoy a beverage or three and whilst we turn the cheek music up and the chin wag on the hostess or what have you.

It's a two way street as I see it and my problem with them is half my problem and half theirs at the very least. It may be all my problem, it may be all theirs, I ahve no real way of knowing. So, unless they ask me, I really have no business imposing on them with what I think they ought to do with their lives. Maybe they enjoy being that way, maybe they simply have arthritis or chronic pain and would otherwise be nice cheery company who aren't prone to slobbering. They are also probably happier being less well off than you or I might be than they would back home where there might be bad weather dangerous neighborhoods expensive medical etc. so that old classic if you don't like it here then go home is not valid.

There is a Buddhist saying about dealing with the general unpleasantness of other people and the world itself:

"Seeking to cover the whole world with cowhide so that you can walk everywhere without hurting your feet is not only impossible it isn't necessary when you can cut some pieces of hide, sew them together to make sandals and cover the bottoms of your own feet so that you can walk anywhere in style and comfort!" Train your own mind so that other people and unpleasant situations don't bother you that much, is the point being made there as I see it.

[smotherb]

So I am an old cynic who has no idea what to do for the next 10-20 years. Thailand is not the Thailand of 15 years ago, and every day there are more stupid things imposed on us. Help please.............

At 76, face facts, it may not be so bad, you may not have 10-20 years left. Look at the best part, you have your present and the love of your wife.

I'm always surprised at the unrealistic life expectancy many older people have.

At age 60, I'd be happy with another 5 years.

And I don't know anyone over 70 with I life, I would consider, worth living.

Well, I am over 70 and have quite a good life. I have been blessed with a loving wife and family, good health, and the wherewithal to provide for us all. I still live the life of a much younger man and hope to continue to do so as long as I can. However, I am not fooling myself, I doubt I will see my grandson grow up, but I will sure try.

[smotherb]

huawei

Posted 11/20, 21:20

“How can you plan when Thailand didn't really become a retirement destination until recently. So I would tend to agree.”

Recently? Well, I came here in1967 and met several old expats who lived here. Maybe Thailand didn't become a retirement destination for people who had never been here until recently.

Edited November 20, 2015 by smotherb

[chilli42]

My advice: find new freinds to drink with, stop reading Thsi Visa and the like (the news s sure to depress), try to stay outside Thailand 4-6 months a year. This works for me ... though I do indulge in Thai Visa from time to time.

[chilli42]

My advice: find new freinds to drink with, stop reading Thsi Visa and the like (the news s sure to depress), try to stay outside Thailand 4-6 months a year. This works for me ... though I do indulge in Thai Visa from time to time.

[condobrit001]

I've traveled to 72 countries in 9 years of nonstop traveling. Most countries I stay one month to a year. Shitty Western countries I bounce in and out in a few days. I've been in KT the longest, about 17 months, with visa hops to nearby countries. Most countries I dislike for the first couple weeks, then I like it, then I start to dislike it again after 9+ months or so. In general, I like it here.

Pros

Good, cheap food

Good cheap public transportation

Not dangerous

History

Weather

Corruption, can get you out of problems that would be certain prison in other countries

Cons

Bad English

Average looking girls

Guys hate us bc we take the cutest Thai girls.

Girls that cant have us, hate us

Older population hates us, unless we are buying their product

Shitty, sweet Asian beer

Now, visa issues

Hmmmn so 72 countries in 108 months of travelling..

Yet you say in 'most' of those countries after 9+ months you dislike them. So even being generous and equating 'most' at just 75% of them, that's 54 countries you have spent 9+ months in - a total of 486+ months...

Interested to know how you managed to squeeze 486+ months of visits into just 108 months of travel?? Or are you just talking BS?

Hmm, If you would care to name these 72 countries which you claim to have visited in 108 months we would be in a better position to judge the extent of your lies. Looks like total BS to me and others. Get a life.

[condobrit001]

I've traveled to 72 countries in 9 years of nonstop traveling. Most countries I stay one month to a year. Shitty Western countries I bounce in and out in a few days. I've been in KT the longest, about 17 months, with visa hops to nearby countries. Most countries I dislike for the first couple weeks, then I like it, then I start to dislike it again after 9+ months or so. In general, I like it here.

Pros

Good, cheap food

Good cheap public transportation

Not dangerous

History

Weather

Corruption, can get you out of problems that would be certain prison in other countries

Cons

Bad English

Average looking girls

Guys hate us bc we take the cutest Thai girls.

Girls that cant have us, hate us

Older population hates us, unless we are buying their product

Shitty, sweet Asian beer

Now, visa issues

Hmmmn so 72 countries in 108 months of travelling..

Yet you say in 'most' of those countries after 9+ months you dislike them. So even being generous and equating 'most' at just 75% of them, that's 54 countries you have spent 9+ months in - a total of 486+ months...

Interested to know how you managed to squeeze 486+ months of visits into just 108 months of travel?? Or are you just talking BS?

Hmm, If you would care to name these 72 countries which you claim to have visited in 108 months we would be in a better position to judge the extent of your lies. Looks like total BS to me and others. Get a life.

[condobrit001]

I've traveled to 72 countries in 9 years of nonstop traveling. Most countries I stay one month to a year. Shitty Western countries I bounce in and out in a few days. I've been in KT the longest, about 17 months, with visa hops to nearby countries. Most countries I dislike for the first couple weeks, then I like it, then I start to dislike it again after 9+ months or so. In general, I like it here.

Pros

Good, cheap food

Good cheap public transportation

Not dangerous

History

Weather

Corruption, can get you out of problems that would be certain prison in other countries

Cons

Bad English

Average looking girls

Guys hate us bc we take the cutest Thai girls.

Girls that cant have us, hate us

Older population hates us, unless we are buying their product

Shitty, sweet Asian beer

Now, visa issues

Hmmmn so 72 countries in 108 months of travelling..

Yet you say in 'most' of those countries after 9+ months you dislike them. So even being generous and equating 'most' at just 75% of them, that's 54 countries you have spent 9+ months in - a total of 486+ months...

Interested to know how you managed to squeeze 486+ months of visits into just 108 months of travel?? Or are you just talking BS?

Hmm, If you would care to name these 72 countries which you claim to have visited in 108 months we would be in a better position to judge the extent of your lies. Looks like total BS to me and others. Get a life.

[onni4me]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

Don't compare? How one can in his right mind come to some exotic place and not make comparisons? It also serves in making improvements...

Criticism is also a way to clear one's thoughts on any subject and perhaps find a way to comply with changes whether they are positive or negative.

Complaining sometimes lets out the excess steam...

I not see much value in your advice. A person without brains goes not very far. And in that process also processing negative things is very valuable. I've seen far too many empty headed people repeating the mantra of positive thinking and burn out at the same time.

[onni4me]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

[jacko45k]

What are your life tips to stay positive here?

A trip back to the UK to reinforce my preference of Thailand.

[flyDelight]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

Very good What are the 3 Do's?

[smotherb]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

That sounds a veritable subservient attitude. If you don't compare, you have no values; if you don't criticize, others will think you agree, if you don't complain, nothing will change, and if you don't come here, you will still be a miserable old sot who is afraid to compare, criticize and complain.

It is better to know enough to realize what can be changed and what cannot. Beating your head against a wall does little good for anything, including the wall.

[Prof3934]

Many thanks to the sensible replies to my admittance of being an old semi-invalid cynic.

Why are so many respondents so rude?

To the majority, you obviously did not read my entry in detail or understanding. Here's why:

1. I cannot return to the UK, even for a short stay - my wife would not survive it.

2. With a little over 100,000 baht in the bank, I could not afford it.

3. With a replacement knee joint, I am not very mobile and can only walk a little or go for a swim without bending my knee very much.

4. I would NEVER leave my wife.

5. In the UK, I was 100% active - a director of the number one British domestic heating company, looking after 7 factories. Then I played rugby at a high level, but then started refereeing moving up to high grade games. I also started my own musical theatre company and we staged one major musical show and one cabaret show every year. I was ALWAYS active - every day of the week. 100%

6. Now, here for 15 years, and retired and married, and handicapped, I am totally bored with doing NOTHING now, after seeing and doing all the main Thai sites. I go mad just sitting in the house. My wife can live just watching Thai TV, using her mobile, or playing games on the computer.

There were a few very nice and sympathetic replies which I will read again and see how I can adapt.

There were also some comments which, perhaps, the writer can help me with.

1. Where can I buy scones and pikelets from?

2. Is there any clotted cream in Pattaya?

3. How do you cope mentally with no insurance if you are over 70, like me?

4, If we left Pattaya and returned to Isaan and lived a quiet life in the country (which sounds divine), I still need to keep my brain turning, and not be one of the many old farangs who go to the beach here, drink their coffee and sleep for the rest of the day.

I already do loads of brain puzzles that help me stay alive.

[overherebc]

Don't take posts on TV as being serious.

Believe about 10% of them.

Only believe about 1% of mine.

Have LOADS of money in the bank.

Walk around all day smiling no matter what. People (expats) will think you're crazy and leave you alone to enjoy yourself.

[Bernard Flint]

I think that anyone with over ten thousand posts on this forum should be put down! These are the guys who clearly never leave their bar stools and go out and see what is actually happening in this great country.

It is amazing how many expats have lived here for 10 + years, and havent a clue what is going on in the areas. I agree also that there are too many who drink heavy most days and become the typical know it all but actualy know sod all.

[steven100]

I think that anyone with over ten thousand posts on this forum should be put down! These are the guys who clearly never leave their bar stools and go out and see what is actually happening in this great country.

It is amazing how many expats have lived here for 10 + years, and havent a clue what is going on in the areas. I agree also that there are too many who drink heavy most days and become the typical know it all but actualy know sod all.

I agree ......... it's 9.00am and I'm half cut ! I've had 2 bottles already ...... and as you said, I haven't a clue what's going on at my 7-11 right now.

[pitchag]

!00% agree I am having the best time of my life, My motto in life is where ever I lay my head to sleep is home, I try to never compare apples with oranges, every where is unique enjoy the difference and ignore the negative. I have found Thailand to be a very friendly positive place to live and plan to stay until the my final Bar-B-Q. Everything is do-able even the immigration process sometimes a bit frustrating but overcome by good planning. Some of the posters here would be miserable in Utopia it is just the way they are and I think they honestly love to bring people down to their level of despair so they don't feel lonely down there.

[Dap]

Long-stayer, not a cynic (just a realist), don't whine on TV and don't

want or need any advice from you or any other "Helpful" souls

[JLCrab]

I have been in Thailand now for 12 years after working in Asia for 15+ years before that. I am busier now than I maybe ever have been in my life as I am registered as an NGO in USA and am involved on a worldwide basis. So I am on the computer long hours though not continuously often 3 AM Thai time to 8 or 9 pm when my eyes give out as I am reading legal documents, court case opinions, monitoring diplomatic conferences etc. I also do a lot of writing but keep it short as that is the easiest way to get it read.

ThaiVisa is often a diversion and, although I have a high post count, most of the posts are short or even one sentence. I am what in the USA they call a policy wonk. While I take some heat from some on here who derisively consider that I am 'paying' for non-English speaking Thai female companionship, I also sometimes 'pay' the females to just leave me alone -- got work to do today, sweetheart. Go hang out with your friends.

Edited November 21, 2015 by JLCrab

[DDbkh]

don't listen to the wingers and whiners, just drink as much piss as you can.

I much prefer a Twinings tea with a scone or pikelet.

Or a bit of crumpet!

The Thai wife of a friend owns a bakery, a few years ago my friend brought some crumpets/pikelets back from UK, she liked them and decided to bake them for sale. He told her that Crumpet also means attractive girl - so she put it about that these new Farang cakes were aphrodisiacs. She had queues outside her door every morning!!

[onni4me]

There were also some comments which, perhaps, the writer can help me with.

1. Where can I buy scones and pikelets from?

2. Is there any clotted cream in Pattaya?

3. How do you cope mentally with no insurance if you are over 70, like me?

4, If we left Pattaya and returned to Isaan and lived a quiet life in the country (which sounds divine), I still need to keep my brain turning, and not be one of the many old farangs who go to the beach here, drink their coffee and sleep for the rest of the day.

I already do loads of brain puzzles that help me stay alive.

1. Donno. Buy a small gas oven and start baking yourself. Ovens start from about 8000 Baht upwards. Makro sells cake and bread flour. This would be an activity. I bake most of my own bread mixing oat meal in it or various other things making it more tasty.

2. Donno. I started making my own yogurts starting with natural (and expensive) Greek and Turkish ones made with the live bacteria and no sugar added. Only you need clean palstic containers and mix some of the old one with fresh milk and/or cream and let them go sour in the room temperature under a plastic film and after place them in the fridge. As far as I understand clotted cream is heated in a pot placed in hot or boiling water and egg yolk is used to thicken it and butter. Constant stirring is required. Perhaps some potato starch to make the mix even. I never made it myself so don't really know but recipes are there to look at internet. Good hobby cooking. Makes one happy to enjoy good food.

3. Government hospitals provide pretty decent care. I had an old friend at a Srinakarin hospital Khon Kaen having a stroke and he was in over a month. The bill came to 44000 Baht. They like to tranfer people to private hospitals if they have an insurance. Doctors are mostly same doing the dayshift in government hospital to make more money they do evening/night shift in private one. Even with the smaller budget you can get good treatment. If you get cancer or something more serious I see no other choice but to accept it or go back for treatment. We all die at some point. I myself am lucky been through 2 serious car crashes here in LOS with no major injuries. One broken ankle.

4. I have a small 5 room resort, a pool room and rather big garden. Sometimes I have friends come over for a fry up and few beers. I drink very rarely nowadays but fun can be had without being pissed. To feel connected I need weekly talks with my friends so I drive to see them. I don't know about you but having someone to talk to is essential. Otherwise your thoughts go in circles. I also do one new thing every week. If there is a street that I haven't seen before I go and drive to look at it with my bike. I order books from Amazon or similar internet book stores. Make your way to the beach. Sit under an umbrella. Talk to people. Have a massage. Sip some tea or coffee. There must be a club that you join in like many nationalities have. Go have a look. Go sing karaoke with people. Explore the things that you can do for free. I just wonder, you have any friends? That is difficult part here but try to find a way to get some.

I add a bonus. If you can't afford it here with reasonable lifestyle, I just can't see you making it anywhere else. What are your expenses? In Isaan you can find relatively new 2 bedroom houses around 5000 Baht a month (in Khon Kaen not city center but 4-5 km away) or if you go into the sticks even cheaper. Does your wife have a family house somewhere? Install an air-con there if you prefer one and go live there awhile. It doesn't mean you have to be there all the time. For a change. Food for thought. I understand that in your age it is not easy but I have found out that our happiness is due to our own actions. To take the choices that we want, not others. I can't live your life, only you can.

Cheers.

[stephenterry]

I've traveled to 72 countries in 9 years of nonstop traveling. Most countries I stay one month to a year. Shitty Western countries I bounce in and out in a few days. I've been in KT the longest, about 17 months, with visa hops to nearby countries. Most countries I dislike for the first couple weeks, then I like it, then I start to dislike it again after 9+ months or so. In general, I like it here.

Pros

Good, cheap food

Good cheap public transportation

Not dangerous

History

Weather

Corruption, can get you out of problems that would be certain prison in other countries

Cons

Bad English

Average looking girls

Guys hate us bc we take the cutest Thai girls.

Girls that cant have us, hate us

Older population hates us, unless we are buying their product

Shitty, sweet Asian beer

Now, visa issues

Hmmmn so 72 countries in 108 months of travelling..

Yet you say in 'most' of those countries after 9+ months you dislike them. So even being generous and equating 'most' at just 75% of them, that's 54 countries you have spent 9+ months in - a total of 486+ months...

Interested to know how you managed to squeeze 486+ months of visits into just 108 months of travel?? Or are you just talking BS?

Hmm, If you would care to name these 72 countries which you claim to have visited in 108 months we would be in a better position to judge the extent of your lies. Looks like total BS to me and others. Get a life.

I have no idea about the above, but in the last 10 years of my working life I visited 37 different countries, a few more than once. In that time I spent over 6 months in Pakistan, and 4 months in Aceh. The rest, two weeks at a time. 5 visits per year, not unreasonable, and I was based in England for at least 4-6 months of any one year. I would reason the guy above had many more short visits than long stays.

Edited November 21, 2015 by stephenterry

[stephenterry]

So I am an old cynic who has no idea what to do for the next 10-20 years. Thailand is not the Thailand of 15 years ago, and every day there are more stupid things imposed on us. Help please.............

At 76, face facts, it may not be so bad, you may not have 10-20 years left. Look at the best part, you have your present and the love of your wife.

I'm always surprised at the unrealistic life expectancy many older people have.

At age 60, I'd be happy with another 5 years.

And I don't know anyone over 70 with I life, I would consider, worth living.

Well, I am over 70 and have quite a good life. I have been blessed with a loving wife and family, good health, and the wherewithal to provide for us all. I still live the life of a much younger man and hope to continue to do so as long as I can. However, I am not fooling myself, I doubt I will see my grandson grow up, but I will sure try.

I am of a similar age and still have reasonable health. It has been important for me to have a hobby - I chose writing novels, and have self-published on Kindle. I live on a quiet Moo-Baan with my Thai lady and her college daughter, and my pension is sufficient to let us eat out a few times each week.

I have read that should a person reach retirement age without suffering a critical illness, it is likely that they would live for another 15 years - of course, that is a generalization, some don't make it and some live longer, that's life.

But one issue is crystal clear to me. I have a life that is worth living, and I intend to make the most of it - with as much fun and humour I can muster.