Etiquette for paying restaurant bill?

[Sutty]

Went for a BBQ last time we was in Pattaya had the wife, mother in law , and father in law with us no problem as I invited them my treat. Now somewhere along the way the father in laws son (previous relationship) must have heard were we were going now notice I said Pattaya. Sat down in BBQ when he turns up with his wife, 3 sons, and two other people no one exept him seemed to know all came from Bangkok!!! Long story short all ate bill came given to my Mrs she looks at bill looks at me gets phone out uses calculator gets x amount of Bht from purse then informs the bangkokers that they need to put the rest in, there faces were a picture but they paid up. Has never happened again. Morale if you invite pay if others turn up dont

Edited January 8, 2016 by Sutty

[Jacks77]

U got a preview of how you would be like if u marry this girl or perhaps most other low income thai.

I feel sorry eveytime I see an old farang sitting at a restaurant w a thai gf and her troop.

[Fairynuff]

You are new aren't you. You`re the rich Farlang you pay and the stupid foreigner that falls into these traps every time. From experience I have learned to avoid large gatherings with Thais in those situations.

Don`t worry, we`ve all been there. Once bitten, twice shy.

You imply it is a 'let's soak the falang' thing. You do not understand Thai/Asian culture which works on status/respect. The OP was actually being attributed respect and should have been honoured to have received that. Look around at groups in restaurants and spot the guy sitting in the dominant chair puffing his chest out and playing the provider, revelling in his status.

To our Western minds it's all a bit pathetic of course! We moved on from feudalism and cap doffing centuries ago.

Respect???? Nothing to do with respect, it's all to do with the commonly held notion here that you can always freeload off a foreigner.

[MaeJoMTB]

Foreigner pays, foreigner always pays.

Never take gfs family anywhere, cos you're gonna pay, and they just gonna chat to each other, totally ignoring you.

Easier just to hand her cash in the morning, and let her distribute the take to whomever she wants.

Go to the restaurant with your foreigner pals, they actually like you and will split the bill.

Thai gfs are for the bedroom only.

Edited January 8, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[bazza40]

It's normal to pay as you are the senior member of the group, and also are thought of as the wealthiest. A different picture if there are several falangs in the group, then should be negotiated how it is shared.

Interesting how this thread has brought out all the Cheap Charlies,the supercilious and the Thai-bashers. Nice to meet you all. .

[dundas]

Interesting thread. I just expect to be asked to pay, because I'm an older farang. Goes with the territory.

In the past I've been caught, for example, being invited to a party in a restaurant and when it was over I was the one who was presented with the bill. Rather than make a scene, I paid. So now when I get invitations of that sort, I always ask about who's paying for whom, and make it clear what my limits are. No more blank checks.

I've actually had a drunken Thai come up to our table at dinner and start ordering food that he expected me to pay for. I forget how I got out of that one, but if it happened again, the least confronting way is another poster's idea of telling the waiter right from get-go that we're on separate bills. It's possible to have boundaries, and still be civil.

[bbbbooboo]

as a general rule some thais can be parasitic with people who they see as "farangs" (usually white). With a bit of experience you learn to tell them to <deleted> off.....lol

[SOTIRIOS]

....take it or leave it....

[ChesneyHawkes]

In all the relationships I've been in here I've never been handed the bill. I've tried to pay before and that offer has always been turned down. Normally there's a scrum to get the bill and pay.

Complete loss of face if they don't even make an attempt to pay. So reading your story, I'd say they were after little more than any cash you may have as their behaviour is considered rude by Thai standards.

And just in case it was just me that thought this I've asked a lot of people in my office (we have over 4000 employees and and number of expats) and not one person has ever had the situation you've described.

[Colabamumbai]

I am surprised that she did not invite more family or friends, yes this is how it is done in Thailand,

[bazza40]

Foreigner pays, foreigner always pays.

Never take gfs family anywhere, cos you're gonna pay, and they just gonna chat to each other, totally ignoring you.

Easier just to hand her cash in the morning, and let her distribute the take to whomever she wants.

Go to the restaurant with your foreigner pals, they actually like you and will split the bill.

Thai gfs are for the bedroom only.

Yours doesn't cook and wash?

[Sutty]

Glad I got in before the Thai woman/wife she will rip you off/steal from you/then go back to her thai husband brigade started to highjack this thread.

[steven100]

GOOD FOR YOU .... AND IT'S ONLY $35 BUCKS .....

if you don't want to know or associate with any of them then don't go again .....

[1FinickyOne]

As Charlie H says.

And next time remember you are expected to pay unless you sort the details out beforehand

This is patently obvious nonsense! logically why should someone be expected to pay for a person they didn't invite to the dinner and don't even know,sorry you will never convince me it's not a calculated scam! designed to shame someone into paying for unwanted Guests ! It's best not to engage in this sort of Chicanary !

And finally would we tolerate this happening in our own country or culture ......I don't think so!

A scam? Really? Like they were plotting this? When I first met my wife, part of the courtship process was going out with and meeting her friends. I was always glad to treat them - it was never terribly expensive and nice for me to meet her friends too.

First off - you are not in your own culture - I am always puzzled why people come here and think that things should be like they are at home when many have come specifically to get away from home - - what possible relevance can it have what is done in a different culture when you are going out for dinner in Thailand?

Yes, I would surely be expected to pay if I went out with my family - it is rare as they prefer to eat at home… I would insist. What is not rare is walking past the houses of family members and being invited to eat with them - EVERY TIME - that I walk past if a meal is cooking. And I have eaten their food far far more times than they have come with me to a restaurant. Surely, they do not get that food for free… they are sharing people and do not make a big deal over who is paying for the food…

Edited January 8, 2016 by kenk24

[likeke]

I know when I am in the company of a group of thais, that I will have to pay, especially if they are all younger than I. So I bring extra funds. This is the custom, which I respect. As such, when I am invited by a thai for a group gathering as being the only farang, I will decline the invitation, or make an excuse. I have done this on many ocassions. I know the only reason I am invited is to pay the bill. Accordingly, you have options. That is why I always ask if I will be the only farang before accepting the invite.

[elgenon]

As Charlie H says.

And next time remember you are expected to pay unless you sort the details out beforehand

This is patently obvious nonsense! logically why should someone be expected to pay for a person they didn't invite to the dinner and don't even know,sorry you will never convince me it's not a calculated scam! designed to shame someone into paying for unwanted Guests ! It's best not to engage in this sort of Chicanary !

And finally would we tolerate this happening in our own country or culture ......I don't think so!

You are not in your country! it is a different culture. Haha Are you someone who expects the people in other countries to be the same as you? You must be unhappy here.

I go out semi-frequently with a Middle Class Thai family. Once in a while they allow me to pay for a Swensens treat after. It's the wife's favorite. Up to them. I am an honorary Uncle to the kids.

[Nowisee]

Most I would do is kick in 500 baht. If the girl invited then she can kick in the other 500.

[MAJIC]

As Charlie H says.

And next time remember you are expected to pay unless you sort the details out beforehand

This is patently obvious nonsense! logically why should someone be expected to pay for a person they didn't invite to the dinner and don't even know,sorry you will never convince me it's not a calculated scam! designed to shame someone into paying for unwanted Guests ! It's best not to engage in this sort of Chicanary !

And finally would we tolerate this happening in our own country or culture ......I don't think so!

A scam? Really? Like they were plotting this? When I first met my wife, part of the courtship process was going out with and meeting her friends. I was always glad to treat them - it was never terribly expensive and nice for me to meet her friends too.

First off - you are not in your own culture - I am always puzzled why people come here and think that things should be like they are at home when many have come specifically to get away from home - - what possible relevance can it have what is done in a different culture when you are going out for dinner in Thailand?

Yes, I would surely be expected to pay if I went out with my family - it is rare as they prefer to eat at home… I would insist. What is not rare is walking past the houses of family members and being invited to eat with them - EVERY TIME - that I walk past if a meal is cooking. And I have eaten their food far far more times than they have come with me to a restaurant. Surely, they do not get that food for free… they are sharing people and do not make a big deal over who is paying for the food…

And of course you are not in your own culture either! but if you are happy to take on another countries culture,that's fine by me, but don't include me,I make my choice,by what I consider to be what's right,and not be sucked into some half baked traditions for free loaders!

[MaeJoMTB]

Foreigner pays, foreigner always pays.

Never take gfs family anywhere, cos you're gonna pay, and they just gonna chat to each other, totally ignoring you.

Easier just to hand her cash in the morning, and let her distribute the take to whomever she wants.

Go to the restaurant with your foreigner pals, they actually like you and will split the bill.

Thai gfs are for the bedroom only.

Yours doesn't cook and wash?

Not a chance.

[superdome]

On this subject...met a girl a few yrs ago,who invited me to stay with her family for the night...in the morning i was ready to leave but in passing said i was calling into Tesco for some odds & ends..she said can "we" come...sure i can give you a lift..with that the "family" all jumped in my truck......mum/dad/2 brothers/2sisters + an other.

On arrival at tesco they grabbed a trolly and disappeared...in a few minutes i got what i needed paid and waited for them...fully 45 minutes later they showed with the trolly overloaded,it took 2 of them to push it....i thought ..HOLD ON..who's paying here...as they got to cashier the girl said "you pay,you have money"...i said "YES OF COURSE" let me go to car to get money...with that was out into the car park & gone...Lewis hamilton would not have got away quicker...Last i saw of her was running after my truck shouting & screaming...i did pick up a few words like "cheap charlie"....to this day i often wonder how much it would have come to.

[MAJIC]

As Charlie H says.

And next time remember you are expected to pay unless you sort the details out beforehand

This is patently obvious nonsense! logically why should someone be expected to pay for a person they didn't invite to the dinner and don't even know,sorry you will never convince me it's not a calculated scam! designed to shame someone into paying for unwanted Guests ! It's best not to engage in this sort of Chicanary !

And finally would we tolerate this happening in our own country or culture ......I don't think so!

You are not in your country! it is a different culture. Haha Are you someone who expects the people in other countries to be the same as you? You must be unhappy here.

I go out semi-frequently with a Middle Class Thai family. Once in a while they allow me to pay for a Swensens treat after. It's the wife's favorite. Up to them. I am an honorary Uncle to the kids.

You have Posted the following inside the above Box,when it should have been outside as below!

elgenon You said.....

You are not in your country! it is a different culture. Haha Are you someone who expects the people in other countries to be the same as you? You must be unhappy here.

I go out semi-frequently with a Middle Class Thai family. Once in a while they allow me to pay for a Swensens treat after. It's the wife's favorite. Up to them. I am an honorary Uncle to the kids.

[steven100]

what a bunch of CHEAP CHARLIES ....

I was the thai at dinner and you didn't offer to pay than goodbye to you.

What is it with some greedy farang ... you want a thai girl 20 years younger ... you want food .. massage.. taken care off 24/7 but you don't want to pay too much for this .... you want the house in your name , you don't want to give her too much .... and you want others to put up half for any restaurant bills .....

Try getting a 25 yr old in the UK Aust or US who will accept you ? zero chance .... yet you come here and expect service from her but won't give security in a house or you are just a tight ass ........

unbelievable !!! no wonder they change the locks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[steven100]

UNFORTUNATELY decent farangs are becoming more scarce everyday.

You give crap you will get crap back !!!!! try going back home and doing the same !!!!!!!!!!

[Borneo Baron]

1000thb for 5 people and you complain Get real <deleted>

[Borneo Baron]

cyberfarang you bitch about 1000 Thb wherever you come from it is nothing

[steven100]

1000thb for 5 people and you complain Get real <deleted>

yeah, I can't believe these cheap charlies. I have a couple of Thai friends and we have gone out 300 times in 14 yrs ..... they have never ever had to pay in 14 years ..... and I don't expect them to.

how much does a thai earn ? 300 / day

how much does a farang earn ? get real !!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE CHEAP CHARLIES !!!

Edited January 8, 2016 by steven100

[Borneo Baron]

steven 100 I agree with you 100% These farang that bitch like this treat Thai people as second class people

[Borneo Baron]

steven 100 I agree with you 100% These farang that bitch like this treat Thai people as second class people

[Borneo Baron]

steven 100 I agree with you 100% These farang that bitch like this treat Thai people as second class people

[Borneo Baron]

steven 100 I agree with you 100% These farang that bitch like this treat Thai people as second class people