Starting a social life

[bazza40]

Thai girls who are rocket surgeons .... I just love you Winnie.

The weekly winner of the Mixed Metaphor contest.

[Rancid]

Thanks all for the information.

Several people referred to there being 'sharks' amongst the other ex-pats.

What is meant by that?

As an example met a German couple years ago that had been sold a lovely block of land by another German, needless to say they were less than delighted to discover that foreigners cannot own land. Sometimes trusting your own countrymen can be a mistake...

[mcfish]

Thanks all for the information.

Several people referred to there being 'sharks' amongst the other ex-pats.

What is meant by that?

As an example met a German couple years ago that had been sold a lovely block of land by another German, needless to say they were less than delighted to discover that foreigners cannot own land. Sometimes trusting your own countrymen can be a mistake...

Are you sitting down? News flash.... there are thousands of con men and suckers in every country on the planet

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[Saan]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

I think what buddhalady is lamenting is when she ventured back to the Expats Ladies Lunch group after not having gone for a number of years and didn't find anyone she knew and the format was a little different than she remembered. The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht. But for ladies on a budget, there is the lunch on the third Thursday of the month, at Grandview Hotel buffet, at 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs. The ladies lunch group is bigger than ever and the ladies do provide support and genuine friendship to each other, but their interests are a little different than the group of ladies who gathered 10 years ago.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. What city does he live in? We western women are having a great time. Again, he obviously hasn't been to an Expats Club meeting recently to see all the women members. The number of female members and expat/expat couples are growing and it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai wo

Why does the expat club have a lunch that is only for ladies? Would you tolerate any other activity in the expat club that is only for men?

[bazza40]

Thanks all for the information.

Several people referred to there being 'sharks' amongst the other ex-pats.

What is meant by that?

As an example met a German couple years ago that had been sold a lovely block of land by another German, needless to say they were less than delighted to discover that foreigners cannot own land. Sometimes trusting your own countrymen can be a mistake...

Are you sitting down? News flash.... there are thousands of con men and suckers in every country on the planet

True enough. However, I think Rancid is referring to the aspect of being conned in a foreign country by one of your own countrymen - the sense of betrayal is amplified.

Edited January 28, 2016 by bazza40

[evenstevens]

The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman.

firstly appolgies for cherry picking your post

paragraph 1/..three course graze for 200 baht, well before your present short stay in c/mai . a newbie so to speak, then it was mission impossible,

paragraph2 /what a load of b/s , FULLSTOP

paragraph 3/ bazza 40 is on the money

farung lady V thai lady,, may i ask, how u have came to this ridiculus conclusion as u have no real actual experience, have you??

a nice lovely evening to all

[puukao]

After all these responses, I'm sure the OP is thrilled about all the great friends he will meet!!!

haha

you only need a few good friends. just keep trying until you think you tested out a good sample size. it it's not working, well, re-evaluate

out of 100 people, you really only to like about 2-3. and tolerate the rest

if a meeting attracts people you don't like, don't go again...pretty simple.

life is too short to bang your head against the wall

[sappersrest]

Mrs sappersrest loves the expat ladies lunch club, and all the people who attend.

[Chicog]

Thanks all for the information.

Several people referred to there being 'sharks' amongst the other ex-pats.

What is meant by that?

As an example met a German couple years ago that had been sold a lovely block of land by another German, needless to say they were less than delighted to discover that foreigners cannot own land. Sometimes trusting your own countrymen can be a mistake...

They normally masquerade as 'independent financial advisers'...

[Lewthetraveler]

Thanks again, not so much for the actual advice but for the revealing personalities behind the comments.

For my sake, I think I am quick to avoid the kinds of people that annoy me, life is too short to waste time in that kind of company.

[buddhalady]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

Gotta take you on this one - my post wasn't about single expat ladies here finding a male partner - it was about finding like-minded female friends to relate with. As regards your comment about the 'competition' (!) - most of the female friends I've known over the years wouldn't touch with the proverbial barge pole the kind of men who come here looking to buy into sex symbols half their ages. Childish at best, pathetic at worst and irrelevant to my post.

Before I get lambasted for the above comment, I'm quite aware that there are also a number of genuine inter-racial relationships here.

[northernjohn]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

I think what buddhalady is lamenting is when she ventured back to the Expats Ladies Lunch group after not having gone for a number of years and didn't find anyone she knew and the format was a little different than she remembered. The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht. But for ladies on a budget, there is the lunch on the third Thursday of the month, at Grandview Hotel buffet, at 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs. The ladies lunch group is bigger than ever and the ladies do provide support and genuine friendship to each other, but their interests are a little different than the group of ladies who gathered 10 years ago.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. What city does he live in? We western women are having a great time. Again, he obviously hasn't been to an Expats Club meeting recently to see all the women members. The number of female members and expat/expat couples are growing and it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman.

. I live in Chiang Mai. I could not think of anything worse than attending an expat club, except perhaps multiple root canal treatments. I've also had my fill of Western women in my home country. Repeat doses definitely not on my agenda.

Most of the Western women I see around my condo are either forlorn sad sacks, or married women terrified a Thai woman is going to take their husband away. So you'll have to excuse me for developing a different viewpoint.

Less hassle? As I type this, my Thai GF has just handed me a beer and a carefully prepared avocado just the way I like it. That's before the main course of sweet and sour chicken. She spoils me rotten, and I love it.

If you and your fellow ladies are having a great time, good for you. Rest assured I'm having a great time too.

I find it strange that you have to compare your great time to a group of women you have probably never met. I would be more interested in hearing if your wife Girlfriend is having a great time. Quite naturally I would prefer it from her. It would not surprise me if she is because she had nothing to compare it to before Mr. Farong came along with an ATM card.

[Bill97]

Before I get lambasted for the above comment, I'm quite aware that there are also a number of genuine inter-racial relationships here.

A large number. Perhaps very large, I see many about town. Many posting here too.

[bazza40]

My, my. All the self-righteous prudes are getting stuck into me. Perhaps they are confusing me with someone who cares about their opinion.

Yes, northernjohn, my girlfriend is having a great time too. You don't need specific details. Thank you for your disingenuous concern.

Buddhalady, I encounter your attitude quite commonly amongst Western women. It's hypocrisy, if one gives credence to the stories of Greek and Italian gigolos. It's also deep-seated fear, coupled with some racism. Putting it as bluntly as you did, I wouldn't touch Western women with a barge pole either. Two words are a sufficient description. High maintenance.

[NancyL]

Oh dear, I'm not going to wade into this, except for one comment whether CEC would "tolerate" a men's dining out group. Yes, of course we would. In fact, we've tried to get one started and find that guys don't want to organize themselves that way.

For example, Hubby is part of a group of guys who get together every Monday for lunch but they are totally unwilling to publicize it, open it to newcomers, maintain a mailing list and, god forbid, actually think about going to different venues. The few times they've tried that (as in they've heard some other place is cheaper, quieter or better) somehow not everyone gets the word and the group just doesn't make the move well.

CEC does have a "co-ed" evening dining out group.

Incidentally, there are Thai women who come to our Expats Ladies Lunch group. These are ladies who spent much of their adult life living overseas and enjoy the company of other English-speaking women. Many feel quite "foreign" in their home country now and under much pressure from their local families to be dutiful daughters, after successful careers as independent modern western women. They find it refreshing to get together with western friends and get away from the village for a while.

[buddhalady]

The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman.

firstly appolgies for cherry picking your post

paragraph 1/..three course graze for 200 baht, well before your present short stay in c/mai . a newbie so to speak, then it was mission impossible,

paragraph2 /what a load of b/s , FULLSTOP

paragraph 3/ bazza 40 is on the money

farung lady V thai lady,, may i ask, how u have came to this ridiculus conclusion as u have no real actual experience, have you??

a nice lovely evening to all

Nancy seems to have a short, perhaps prejudicial memory! The ladies I socialised with in my early years here were all happily on retirement visas - I never met one who was attempting to stay here using the options she describes. As regards financial means, none of us were on the breadline! Looking for value for money as well as donating to the many worthwhile charity events around in those days was normal - very few used their excess funds to see-and-be-seen at overpriced, pretentious events as they seem to nowadays. Who you were as a human being was a darn sight more important than where you were seen and how much you were spending to make yourself look important.

Watching one's budget is very out of fashion in this commercialised world - unfortunately. The last of my friends left for home over a year ago - she was more than comfortable financially but disenchanted with the change in the expat community. I'm with her there, and miss her a lot. As regards the content of the present day Ladies Lunch, my only visit over the last few years reintroduced me to several of the original members of the club whom I hadn't seen since I opted out of the so-called social scene. That was fun, but the majority of the other ladies were tourists or snowbirds.

Frankly, Nancy, I find your reply insulting, not just to me, but to all those genuine, kind and generous women who, by choice, are no longer here. If I'd wanted to live in Little America, I'd have gone there when I had the chance 14 years ago!

Bazza40 - you've accused me of being a fearful racist hypocrite - I shan't dignify your comment with a full reply, but it's typical of a certain type of CM expat nowadays.

[rogeroc]

Moving away from the Expat club and back to the original point of the OP. I know the OP has stated that he is not a big drinker and not really into the bar scene but i would not rule out the occasional evening visit to a bar. Despite what you may hear on this forum there are plenty of guys and a few ladies who do go to the bars and spend time sipping drinks and chatting. Amongst those are some very decent and interesting people. It is the way i have initially met some very good long term friends here and none are heavy drinkers.

There are also a lot of single 40 plus Thai ladies to be found in CM who have clearly taken great care of themselves as they age.

[TheAppletons]

Nancy seems to have a short, perhaps prejudicial memory! The ladies I socialised with in my early years here were all happily on retirement visas - I never met one who was attempting to stay here using the options she describes. As regards financial means, none of us were on the breadline! Looking for value for money as well as donating to the many worthwhile charity events around in those days was normal - very few used their excess funds to see-and-be-seen at overpriced, pretentious events as they seem to nowadays. Who you were as a human being was a darn sight more important than where you were seen and how much you were spending to make yourself look important.

Watching one's budget is very out of fashion in this commercialised world - unfortunately. The last of my friends left for home over a year ago - she was more than comfortable financially but disenchanted with the change in the expat community. I'm with her there, and miss her a lot. As regards the content of the present day Ladies Lunch, my only visit over the last few years reintroduced me to several of the original members of the club whom I hadn't seen since I opted out of the so-called social scene. That was fun, but the majority of the other ladies were tourists or snowbirds.

Frankly, Nancy, I find your reply insulting, not just to me, but to all those genuine, kind and generous women who, by choice, are no longer here. If I'd wanted to live in Little America, I'd have gone there when I had the chance 14 years ago!

Bazza40 - you've accused me of being a fearful racist hypocrite - I shan't dignify your comment with a full reply, but it's typical of a certain type of CM expat nowadays.

Gee, I can't imagine why you don't have any friends.

[TheAppletons]

Unintentional duplicate post.

Edited January 29, 2016 by TheAppletons

[MaeJoMTB]

There are also a lot of single 40 plus Thai ladies to be found in CM who have clearly taken great care of themselves as they age.

There are a lot of single age 30+ Thai ladies to be found in CM, and they don't cost any more than the 40+ ladies.

Not to mention the many age 30+ Thai men dressed as Thai ladies .......

Edited January 29, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[Dante99]

"Nancy seems to have a short, perhaps prejudicial memory! The ladies I socialised with in my early years here were all happily on retirement visas - I never met one who was attempting to stay here using the options she describes. As regards financial means, none of us were on the breadline! Looking for value for money as well as donating to the many worthwhile charity events around in those days was normal - very few used their excess funds to see-and-be-seen at overpriced, pretentious events as they seem to nowadays. Who you were as a human being was a darn sight more important than where you were seen and how much you were spending to make yourself look important.

Watching one's budget is very out of fashion in this commercialised world - unfortunately. The last of my friends left for home over a year ago - she was more than comfortable financially but disenchanted with the change in the expat community. I'm with her there, and miss her a lot. As regards the content of the present day Ladies Lunch, my only visit over the last few years reintroduced me to several of the original members of the club whom I hadn't seen since I opted out of the so-called social scene. That was fun, but the majority of the other ladies were tourists or snowbirds.

Frankly, Nancy, I find your reply insulting,...."

Buddhalady,

Have compassion. Nancy just does not get it.

[ozyjon]

First thing you need to do is get a snow shovel,,

the rest will follow.

come on, it's not that bad........

[bazza40]

First thing you need to do is get a snow shovel,,

the rest will follow.

frozen-veg.jpeg

come on, it's not that bad........

Were you bottle-fed as a child?

[bazza40]

"Who you were as a human being was a darn sight more important than where you were seen and how much you were spending to make yourself look important".

At last, something we can agree on.

"Bazza40 - you've accused me of being a fearful racist hypocrite - I shan't dignify your comment with a full reply, but it's typical of a certain type of CM expat nowadays."

Be my guest, heaven forbid I should interfere with your preconceptions. It's called shooting the messenger.

[NancyL]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. Now a good charity event is doing good to pull in a couple hundred people are raise a couple hundred thousand baht. So much for expats who just want to see and be seen.

I think the times of changed and people have moved on -- that's all. It's just a different crowd and when someone drops for a while they can't expect to return to a club or group and find the same people attending. That's all. There's no need to get all judgmental about it. I expect that if I returned to Michigan, I'd find a whole different crowd in my gardening club than when I left eight years ago. I wouldn't judge if they're any better or worse than the ladies of eight years ago, I'd just have to accept that it's a different crowd and decide to either get with their program or move on.

[FolkGuitar]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

[NancyL]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

That's right. Chiang Mai has had over-priced pretensions social events where expats go to see-and-be-seen for a long time! It's not a new development. It's not fair of Buddalady to lament this as a new development. The difference was that she was part of the scene 8 or 10 years ago.

[evenstevens]

correct cobber , either 2003 or 2004, my money would be 2004, and light fingers was on the til

[buddhalady]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

That's right. Chiang Mai has had over-priced pretensions social events where expats go to see-and-be-seen for a long time! It's not a new development. It's not fair of Buddalady to lament this as a new development. The difference was that she was part of the scene 8 or 10 years ago.

Nancy - please reread my earlier posts - nowhere did I state that I was part of any see-and-be-seen, pretentious social scene years ago, nor did I 'lament' the present situation as regards such events. They're your bag, lady, and you're welcome to them.. I most decidedly was not part of such all those years ago, although I and a number of my friends were happy to take part in the Rooftop Party as it often supported smaller charities and was also a good representation of the difference and diversity of the then expat scene.

My original post concerned a change in social opportunities for a certain type of female. As usual on TVF, muddy waters are now everywhere, along with defences of the decidedly see-and-be-seen, pretentious offerings nowadays.

Why am I surprised???

[buddhalady]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

That's right. Chiang Mai has had over-priced pretensions social events where expats go to see-and-be-seen for a long time! It's not a new development. It's not fair of Buddalady to lament this as a new development. The difference was that she was part of the scene 8 or 10 years ago.

Nancy - please reread my earlier posts - nowhere did I state that I was part of any see-and-be-seen, pretentious social scene years ago, nor did I 'lament' the present situation as regards such events. They're your bag, lady, and you're welcome to them.. I most decidedly was not part of such all those years ago, although I and a number of my friends were happy to take part in the Rooftop Party as it often supported smaller charities and was also a good representation of the difference and diversity of the then expat scene.

My original post concerned a change in social opportunities for a certain type of female. As usual on TVF, muddy waters are now everywhere, along with defences of the decidedly see-and-be-seen, pretentious offerings nowadays.

Why am I surprised??? To me, it proves my original point.