Is Wanting To Be Popular A Bad Thing?

[Sabarium]

Hi all,

The topic about you on the internet and you in real life got me thinking. Is it a bad thing to want to be popular? I think we all just want to be accepted. Like myself for example, I'm been working real hard to move up the soical ladder and I'm starting to see results...slowly seeing results. Because of this I feel better about myself, I'm actually happy sometimes.

So I guess the question is, is wanting to fit in a bad thing? And how far is to far when trying to become popular. The movie Mean Girls comes to mind..

Thanks!

[jdinasia]

To spin this towards Thailand .........

Learning Thai etc to fit in some is a VERY good thing .... striving for popularity over honesty however is not. In Thailand/Asia it is more important than ever to blend in somewhat for the locals, but as a farang it is important to realize that wou won't ever REALLY fit in ... but you an be socially acceptable

[on-on]

It's tough to see most things as either inherently good or bad, particularly given the relative moralities we inhabit between Western and Eastern cultures. To be sure, popularity for popularity's sake is niether a good nor bad thing on its face, but is quite defintiely a hollow thing in human terms when taken alone. Why you seek popularity informs what you do with your popularity and what you do with it is really the answer to the question of whether it's a bad thing. Or, said another way, Martin Luther King became "popular" to accomplish some very good things while Paris Hilton became "popular" to accomplish some self-serving things. In either case, the popularity itself isn't the definitive issue, the end result of achieving it is.

I would draw a line between popularity and enriching yourself by adapting (at least publicly) to a host culture though, which, as jdinasia points out, is not only an often necessary activity, but also a very commendable one. It shows respect for another culture, something that makes others feel appreciated, and it usually enrchies you personally with a world of otherwise-unreachable knowledge. If such an enriching activity is done for those reasons and leads to popularity, then it seems to me that you've achieved your popularity for the right reasons. Not that there's anything wrong with adapting to service a host culture for business reasons and not that you won't learn just as much. There's definitely no mutual exclusivity between having to do a thing and wanting to do a thing.

Edited October 21, 2006 by on-on

[Ijustwannateach]

I think you also have to distinguish between the different feelings of friendship (stronger than what comes from popularity), amicability (which can result from popularity), and sycophancy (which can also result from popularity). Buying a bottle of whiskey and drinking the rounds might make you temporarily "popular" but not in any reliable way.

If you are really popular and care about being so, you may have to spend a lot of time and effort in social relations, else those who are so fond of you may become resentful. Nothing is free.

"Steven"

[britmaveric]

Be yourself and things will work out for the better in the long run!

[davidjtayler]

Be yourself and things will work out for the better in the long run!

As long as you are a nice person ...

[britmaveric]

Be yourself and things will work out for the better in the long run!

As long as you are a nice person ...

Faire point - being a <deleted> won't help in the ops endeavours!!!

[Noel]

Deliberately setting out to be popular has to mean that you are acting out a role and are therefore not being yourself.

IMO, this is the strategy of the insincere and/or insecure...

[sting01]

Those who have some knowledge of litterature will immediatly compare the OP with Baron de Rastignac, the hero (sic) of Dumas. Or maybe with some hero of Stendahl in " Madame de Bovary " (shame on me I forget his name).

Both we looking to be popular, mean starting from low , they were ready to all to climb the social ladder.

Well, facts are stubborns, and you get the rank you deserve. Some ranks, even in democracy (like USA) or meritocraty (like France) can be obtain not only because you deserve it by your own qualities but also because your familly (Let say the fact to be amed Hasburg, Bourbon, De La Roche Foucault will help a lot).

Anyway a commoner will stay a commoner, and the popularity he can have will be the disco popularity. Do not dream, someone like Mr Bouygues (the father, the man who created the multnational with the same name) even rich was always considered as a comoner, or an industry baron (mean someone who have enought money to buy a position without the standing to keep this position).

[Jai Dee]

I would draw a line between popularity and enriching yourself by adapting (at least publicly) to a host culture though, which, as jdinasia points out, is not only an often necessary activity, but also a very commendable one. It shows respect for another culture, something that makes others feel appreciated, and it usually enrchies you personally with a world of otherwise-unreachable knowledge. If such an enriching activity is done for those reasons and leads to popularity, then it seems to me that you've achieved your popularity for the right reasons.

Well said.

And let me add that such "enriching activities" can also lead to respect from the Thais as well.

As jdinasia said earlier... as farangs we may never fit into Thai society 100%... but we can be socially acceptable.

[Douggie Style]

I believe we attract people on the same wavelength.

so find out who you are and what you believe in, and work on improving yourself and the rest will follow...

[chuchok]

I'm very popular.I'm a legend in my own lunchtime.

[AlexLah]

You can be populair here on TV when you answer questions correctly and give advice.

I remember some person here......

[Patsycat]

I'm the most popular person I know...

[chownah]

When I was an early adolescent I spent a few month obsessing on this topic of wanting to be popular and if you did something nice for someone because you wanted them to like you was this a bad and selfish thing since it was really being done to satisfy ones own desire to be liked.

I ended up rejecting the idea of seeking popularity completely or even considering that popularity was a topic worth consideration. I've ended up as a social misfit who goes and does pretty much whatever his heart indicates without the confinement of social convention.....oh well....noone is perfect!!!

Chownah