The life and times of "Bennie"

[swissie]

Sub-Title: If the well runs dry.

Bennie earned good money while working back home, He also was blessed with a major inheritance. Serious money, even for European standards.

He married his Thai Wife 10 years ago. The first 6 years they stayed in his home country, since 4 years they stay in Thailand.

During those 4 years he built 3 houses for the Thai-Family and financed 11 "Business-Ventures" for them (not a printing error). None of those businesses lasted longer than 6 months. Plus giving small "loans" to family members, ranging from 10 to 30'000 Bht left and right.

A year ago, Benny declared: Game over, no more money for 'family", only for wife. Result; no more visits by family members at all. Last week his car left him stranded in the middle of nowhere. None of the family-members had time to help him out (they all have i-Phones.) So, finally he called me and I got him home around 11 PM.

Wifey has left 3 Months ago, heading back to Europe, where she still owns a small Business. Explanation: You (husband) and my family give me nothing but headaches.

------------------------------------------

Not to worry about Benny. Still has plenty of assets in his home-country that, (due to inheritance) are untouchable as far as wife or "Thai-Family" are concerned. So, in spite of it all, he can afford to relax, lean back and mark it off as a life experience.

Given the same circumstances, could you?

Cheers.

[tonray]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

[Jip99]

A good example of "Only spend in Thailand what you can afford to leave in Thailand".

The age difference it irrelevant for that.

[Nuddy]

My answer is no

Bernie is indeed blessed with good cheer and some dosh left over.

I face a problem having thought after several years that my Thai wife and I would be together for years we built a house on land I had to pay for.

Now my wife says she still loves me but does not want to live with me.

I am expecting game over pretty soon.

Only 14 years between us in age and she is over 50

I love her but I expect to be tossed out soon.

Regards

[Jip99]

My answer is no

Bernie is indeed blessed with good cheer and some dosh left over.

I face a problem having thought after several years that my Thai wife and I would be together for years we built a house on land I had to pay for.

Now my wife says she still loves me but does not want to live with me.

I am expecting game over pretty soon.

Only 14 years between us in age and she is over 50

I love her but I expect to be tossed out soon.

Regards

This could happen to any of us....... at anytime....... at any age........ anywhere.

If it happened to me I have a plan B. I imagine that plan would more difficult the older I get.

I don't want to have the need to implement plan B, but I think we should all at least give some thought to it.

[swissie]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

[DILLIGAD]

My answer is no

Bernie is indeed blessed with good cheer and some dosh left over.

I face a problem having thought after several years that my Thai wife and I would be together for years we built a house on land I had to pay for.

Now my wife says she still loves me but does not want to live with me.

I am expecting game over pretty soon.

Only 14 years between us in age and she is over 50

I love her but I expect to be tossed out soon.

Regards

This could happen to any of us....... at anytime....... at any age........ anywhere.

If it happened to me I have a plan B. I imagine that plan would more difficult the older I get.

I don't want to have the need to implement plan B, but I think we should all at least give some thought to it.

Agree. You need to move on, leave all the old sh1t behind you and start again wisely but without a bitter mind.

I am on plan B now so have already thought of a plan C just incase.

[tonray]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

[DILLIGAD]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

So you would only provide help and support to your clever friends?

[colinneil]

No more visits from family. What a very lucky man.

Peace perfect peace.

[Jip99]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

So you needed to know their ages before composing that reply ?

At least the OP's reply stopped you flaming on the basis of age difference!

[lostinisaan]

My answer is no

Bernie is indeed blessed with good cheer and some dosh left over.

I face a problem having thought after several years that my Thai wife and I would be together for years we built a house on land I had to pay for.

Now my wife says she still loves me but does not want to live with me.

I am expecting game over pretty soon.

Only 14 years between us in age and she is over 50

I love her but I expect to be tossed out soon.

Regards

This could happen to any of us....... at anytime....... at any age........ anywhere.

If it happened to me I have a plan B. I imagine that plan would more difficult the older I get.

I don't want to have the need to implement plan B, but I think we should all at least give some thought to it.

Agree. You need to move on, leave all the old sh1t behind you and start again wisely but without a bitter mind.

I am on plan B now so have already thought of a plan C just incase.

And if plan B and C don't work out, go to plan aeehh aehhm hmm X? Just in case.

[tonray]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

So you would only provide help and support to your clever friends?

A true friend would have stopped him from being so foolish in the first place. Another tale of woe...I feel so bad for the poor foreigner that decided he wanted to be the big man on the block by trying to buy their affection. Sorry...but I feel nothing for a fool who throws his life savings away like that.

[welsh1]

A friend in need is a friend indeed,, but a friend with weed is better

[Jip99]

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

So you would only provide help and support to your clever friends?

A true friend would have stopped him from being so foolish in the first place. Another tale of woe...I feel so bad for the poor foreigner that decided he wanted to be the big man on the block by trying to buy their affection. Sorry...but I feel nothing for a fool who throws his life savings away like that.

He is OK - he probably still has more left than you have, and I doubt he is looking for your pity.

[swissie]

No more visits from family. What a very lucky man.

Peace perfect peace.

In the meantime, he feels the same way about the whole thing.

No wonder, he still feels at ease, In spite of his Thai-"Investments".

Visited him this morning and he freely showed me some very recent Bank-Statements. I almost fell off my chair. Cash plus short term Bonds add up to almost 14 Million EURO's. 90 % of if as part of the inheritance (untouchable by wife & family). The "rest is in Real-Estate in home country" as he casually mentioned.

- How many of us Expats live in such a "financial comfort zone", in case the s*it hit's the fan? Much to my regret. I myself do not live in such a "financial comfort zone".

Cheers.

[willyumiii]

"Given the same circumstances, could you?"

Given the same circumstances, I would never have doled my money out like Bernie did. No matter how much I had in reserve!

He thought he was buying the love and respect of his Thai family,

But learned that when you stop making payments, that love and respect is quickly repossessed!

[Khon Kaen Dave]

He did what he did,and that's that.he was happy to do it,whats wrong with that?We dont have much time on this planet,so do what makes you feelgood and leave it possibly a better place.Nothing in this country is for ever,but we like to kid our selves it is.All my funds remain in the Uk,in that way i feel secure,i always have enough in a secret bank account for my flight home.Bernie was only doing what a lot wish we could do.yes! He was a lucky man and no one should fault him for that.i wish i had a friend like Bernie.Obviously a stand up guy,honest,and trust worthy.Good luck to you Bernie.

By the way.A friend in need.......is a pest.

KKD

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Sorry Bennie,i got your name ficked ip.damn these thai reading glasses.Do forgive me.

[billd766]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

I take it from your post that you have a degree in personal relationships and that it used to be your job back in the other world. If it wasn't, then what has it got to do with you how anybody runs their relationship?

People who marry are generally old enough to do so and old enough to make their own mistakes and live with it themselves.

[meatboy]

No more visits from family. What a very lucky man.

Peace perfect peace.

In the meantime, he feels the same way about the whole thing.

No wonder, he still feels at ease, In spite of his Thai-"Investments".

Visited him this morning and he freely showed me some very recent Bank-Statements. I almost fell off my chair. Cash plus short term Bonds add up to almost 14 Million EURO's. 90 % of if as part of the inheritance (untouchable by wife & family). The "rest is in Real-Estate in home country" as he casually mentioned.

- How many of us Expats live in such a "financial comfort zone", in case the s*it hit's the fan? Much to my regret. I myself do not live in such a "financial comfort zone".

Cheers.

the wife wants to know where bennie lives,i told her if she wants to go our beloved stay's with ME,OH IN THAT CASE i am only bluffing.

[Ceruhe]

Given the same circumstances, could you?

Given that most peoples main worry about those issues is being left without a penny or just something to scratch by with, or rather, below your standard that you otherwise could have....that question is kinda moot. I'd imagine a fair share would have this lingering hate accompanying them for some period of time to forever, but in this case, your financial situation being in very good standing, not reading any kind of an attempt of a multi million company, other grand pointless desires like a lambo or whatever....a (valuable) lesson learned (although late...) without having needed to eat shit.

Though I'd still be careful with the statement of "Still has plenty of assets in his home-country that, (due to inheritance) are untouchable as far as wife". As far as the West is concerned, a divorce could very well make a very serious attempt at trying to get this last shirt from him. Divorce laws aren't in favor of men or even fair for that matter and peoples notion tobelieve that women are some feeble creatures that can't take care of themselves is rooted really <deleted> deep.

As I don't know, eh, Bennie, I can't comprehend the wifey's statement of "You (husband) and my family give me nothing but headaches", which, if taken face value, would indicate more personal day to day situations that would (have to) be unrelated to all the money grabs. Or if it indeed is related, I'd imagine some unreasonable side jabs such as "haha I gave 3 members of your family money and they have accomplished nothing", which the wifey obviously wouldn't want/need to hear as she had nothing to do with it, besides maybe giving him a nudge to help, but decision ultimately was with Bennie then.

Well whatever, the guy isn't in some sad standing.

[Jip99]

How old is Bennie and how old was his wife ?

He is 58 and wife is 52 years old.

No offense to your friend...but Bennie sounds like a damned fool. Not having the intestinal fortitude to say no is a character flaw...he should never be in any relationship in Thailand.

His only foolishness (given the financial resources he appears to have) was (1) to live in Isaan when he could have afforded to stay anywhere and (2) showing others the extent of his wealth - never a smart idea.

Edited February 12, 2016 by Jip99

[cgphuket]

Can't pretend to be a victim if your a volunteer.

[Nomyai]

My answer is no

Bernie is indeed blessed with good cheer and some dosh left over.

I face a problem having thought after several years that my Thai wife and I would be together for years we built a house on land I had to pay for.

Now my wife says she still loves me but does not want to live with me.

I am expecting game over pretty soon.

Only 14 years between us in age and she is over 50

I love her but I expect to be tossed out soon.

Regards

You guys never learn.

Many times once the house and land are accounted for its bye bye farrang. sure there r exceptions but is it worth it to be the EXCEPTION>

[NanLaew]

... and if you haven't the financial fortitude to play in the "Never Bring In To Thailand More Than You Can afford To Lose" League, just rent.

On second thoughts, why complicate this decision making?... just rent, end of.

[shirtless]

He sounds like he got off lightly considering the money involved , Now play the field these woman are not ones to keep.

[NanLaew]

He sounds like he got off lightly considering the money involved , Now play the field these woman are not ones to keep.

Lost your shirt have you?

Edited February 28, 2016 by NanLaew