How long would you wait for a date to arrive before leaving?

[BookMan]

Was supposed to meet first date at 2:00 pm. I ordered coffee for myself. Waited half hour to receive text of heavy traffic. Waited another half hour received another text of heavy traffic. Now I am getting hungry and a little irritated. Waited 15 more minutes at which time I turned off my phone and left. Three hours later I turn on my phone showing a text that she was there but cannot find me or phone me. The time was 3:40 pm, some 1 hour and 40 minutes late. I then blocked her from the dating site and removed her from LINE.

I can relate to your irritation

This was in Bkk? The thing in bkk is that it is totally believable about the traffic

I would have sent her a message saying I had gone home

[losername]

If she was with another "customer" that really isn't a date, that is a booking or an appointment. And I wouldn't be ttaking that type out for dinner. Why the romance?

But normal Thais I wait an hour, not just romantic dates, but anyone.

It used to annoy me but now realize if a Thai says 7 pm, what they mean is anywhere between 7.00 and 7.59.

I find there is always something nice to look out while I wait anyway.

Sometimes it works the other way too, no need to stress out if running late, Thais don't generally mind too much. All cool.

I have also noticed the longer a farang lives here, usually they sort of adapt and are also late.

Mai been rai

Agreed. A Thai teacher of mine once advised that anything up to an hour late (after the agreed time) was on time in Thailand. I have yet to learn the "All cool" bit but I try.

[Kabula]

15 minutes with no cell call or text.

[slipperylobster]

Those of us who have been in Thailand for any length of time know that the time

agreed upon is the time they leave their apartment;

not the time they arrive at your hotel or restaurant.

One hour and 40 minutes she is out with another customer most likely.

She is just putting you off by texting a message.

Been there and done that.

When she arrived I questioned her about another customer and you get this 'sheepish look'

like how do you know?!

Then I just send them on their way with no dinner and no money!

( Forget the dinner anyway, they only want the money! )

If she was with another "customer" that really isn't a date, that is a booking or an appointment. And I wouldn't be ttaking that type out for dinner. Why the romance?

But normal Thais I wait an hour, not just romantic dates, but anyone.

It used to annoy me but now realize if a Thai says 7 pm, what they mean is anywhere between 7.00 and 7.59.

I find there is always something nice to look out while I wait anyway.

Sometimes it works the other way too, no need to stress out if running late, Thais don't generally mind too much. All cool.

I have also noticed the longer a farang lives here, usually they sort of adapt and are also late.

Mai been rai

LOL ..out with another customer...and arrives one and a half hours late. Makes me think that is about the time you will get.....and for sloppy seconds, at that. I would not even finish the phone call.

PS....kidding...I know the question involves a date (no fees involved..just dinner)

[BookMan]

If she was with another "customer" that really isn't a date, that is a booking or an appointment. And I wouldn't be ttaking that type out for dinner. Why the romance?

But normal Thais I wait an hour, not just romantic dates, but anyone.

It used to annoy me but now realize if a Thai says 7 pm, what they mean is anywhere between 7.00 and 7.59.

I find there is always something nice to look out while I wait anyway.

Sometimes it works the other way too, no need to stress out if running late, Thais don't generally mind too much. All cool.

I have also noticed the longer a farang lives here, usually they sort of adapt and are also late.

Mai been rai

Agreed. A Thai teacher of mine once advised that anything up to an hour late (after the agreed time) was on time in Thailand. I have yet to learn the "All cool" bit but I try.

i'm starting to see how it is and adjust a bit.

[gemguy]

Depends if she is worth waiting for...lol.

I was always on time myself.....always.

I was a little worried she / they would show up on time and she would not wait for me ...I was thinking.

But after many years of waiting up to an hour and even more sometimes I learned to deliberately come a little bit late myself ....or wait maximum 30 minutes and then leave.

I would leave, but I was not heading home...if you know what I mean.

That was back in the days before cell phones so you would never know if she / they showed up just after you left while next day or next week they always told they were on time and I did not wait for them.

If they were especially pretty or you know ...then I would keep on making a date to meet them and eventually they would show up and after the first date you could more or less figure out if she was worth pursuing any further....and I do not mean just for bonking her because so many of them...the majority of them...... were so typical of the typical Thai girls, I figured best not to take it any further even if I could see that there was some interest in me...... the foreigner.

Just far too innocent to be comfortable with....lol

Cheers

[Ulic]

I text when I arrive saying I have arrived. Wait 15 minutes, text to say I am leaving and will

see her another day. POF in the sea. I always do see them another day but they know,

they give me the time and then I expect to see them close to that time. Just trying to help

them with a life skill.

[wow64]

10 mins then send a message you are going home and they should meet you there..

[fishbrando]

Usually I'll have a plan B such as getting work done on a computer at a cafe while waiting.

If she's really late, I'll just push the appointment back an hour and go to the gym.

There was one date where she was about 2 hours late but she was also very communicative with status updates during her travel. I got in a good workout, got plenty of work done, and was still able to go on what turned out to be a pleasant date.

[ThaiWai]

As long as you would expect someone to wait for you.

[The manic]

With mobile phones we can kill time easilyso I can wait a long time but believe tardiness as a habit is a form of passive aggressive control.

[little mary sunshine]

20 minutes if called.."traffic"......if no phone call

15 min. Tops.

[jacko45k]

I agree with the 30 minute mark.

With mobile phones there is no excuse for not calling ahead.

How about I will go wait for you in Crazy House....

[Jedsada3]

It doesn't matter if it happens in BKK or a smaller city..

Everyone knows about the traffic jam in its city and has to consider that it will take longer to be at the meeting point.

[likeke]

Right on JAA. Why can't thai people allow for traffic time? I do and always have. Accordingly, Iam rarely late.I don't care what culture it is; late is late and rude is rude. Period.

[BookMan]

With mobile phones we can kill time easilyso I can wait a long time but believe tardiness as a habit is a form of passive aggressive control.

You have something there. Back home I agree that if someone is always late it is a power game in some way

I'm not so sure about Thailand yet...

[Airalee]

Had plans to meet a woman at Emquartier for a first date. We had been chatting on LINE for a few weeks prior to my arrival and as I had just arrived to BKK I hadn't purchased a new sim for my phone yet as the old one no longer functioned. We had plans to get me set up with a phone/plan as she worked for Dtac and knew her way around the different plans.

Anyhow, I messaged her when I was leaving the condo (using the wifi) to catch the BTS. I was an hour early leaving as I don't like to be late and don't mind waiting...if I am the one who is early. She exclaimed "oh...you'll be early! I'll come early too!" to which I replied..."OK...just don't be late". She agreed and said "OK...see you soon"...me: "ok...remember...don't be late. If you're late, I will assume I'm being stood up and won't wait". I also reminded her that I didn't have a phone and she wouldn't be able to message me. She told me not to worry.

We were to meet at 4pm. Both of us were taking the BTS so traffic wasn't going to be an issue.

I arrived at 3:30...waited until 4:15 (I figured 15 minutes was sufficient after 2 reminders and a reason why not to be late) and then went back to my condo. I got back to my condo at about 5:00 and there was a message from her on LINE sent at 4:40 asking "Where are you?" With the obligatory sad faced selfie sent along with it.

My reply...

"Don't be late = don't be late."

Edited March 8, 2016 by Airalee

[manfredtillmann]

i would not wait at all. punctuality is an essential ingredient in someone i would like to be with. if you cherish someone be 10 minutes EARLY! i would be.

[cracker1]

30 minutes.

[richard_smith237]

About 8 years ago I was meeting a lady for dinner, about 30 mins before the meeting time she text me to tell me that the traffic was worse than expected and she might be a little bit late. I appreciated the heads up. I turned up and she was sat in her car waiting for me to arrive, she was actually on time but understood that if she thought she was running late it was best to let me know.

Thats not specifically why I married her two years later - but her consideration for others is one of her virtues.

[steven100]

I would wait until my patience ran out ......

[richard_smith237]

A friends story:

He was meeting a date who was late, she apparently arrived nearly 2 hours late without so much as an apology. My friend was very patient, he played the game, took her on a second date where the same thing happened, again he was patient and played the game... he managed to 'get her home' that night (she was apparently very very hot)...

He never called her after that, but bumped into him a few months later - She questioned him... "You think its ok to sleep with me and never call me again" he replied, "you think its ok to be two hours late?".......

[Razzler1973]

He made that up didnt he ...

People should account for time. People take these type of journeys all the time, they know how long it takes at each time. You know if you finish at office at 5:30pm how to get to Point A, B or C

Bangkok is not the only city with traffic. Also, not only boat and bus but BTS and MRT these days too, much easier to get around

It's not the lateness it's the not even bothering to acknowledge it when they do make it that would bother me more

[BookMan]

A friends story:

He was meeting a date who was late, she apparently arrived nearly 2 hours late without so much as an apology. My friend was very patient, he played the game, took her on a second date where the same thing happened, again he was patient and played the game... he managed to 'get her home' that night (she was apparently very very hot)...

He never called her after that, but bumped into him a few months later - She questioned him... "You think its ok to sleep with me and never call me again" he replied, "you think its ok to be two hours late?".......

I hope she wasn't 3 months that 3rd time they met

[BookMan]

I text when I arrive saying I have arrived. Wait 15 minutes, text to say I am leaving and will

see her another day. POF in the sea. I always do see them another day but they know,

they give me the time and then I expect to see them close to that time. Just trying to help

them with a life skill.

Not a bad way to avoid some stress if u don't mind making another time

[ivan96822]

30 minutes.

If there is no call or text explaining tardiness during that time, I am gone once the 31st minute strikes...

[BookMan]

30 minutes.

If there is no call or text explaining tardiness during that time, I am gone once the 31st minute strikes...

Do u send them a message to tell them u have gone?

[BookMan]

He made that up didnt he ...

People should account for time. People take these type of journeys all the time, they know how long it takes at each time. You know if you finish at office at 5:30pm how to get to Point A, B or C

Bangkok is not the only city with traffic. Also, not only boat and bus but BTS and MRT these days too, much easier to get around

It's not the lateness it's the not even bothering to acknowledge it when they do make it that would bother me more

You make some good points

There could be a case for the less interested they are, the later they will be

[ivan96822]

30 minutes.

If there is no call or text explaining tardiness during that time, I am gone once the 31st minute strikes...

Do u send them a message to tell them u have gone?

[ivan96822]

Nope.