Money is a universal language...

+1

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

When I first met the gf she had very little English and I had no Thai so we did not talk much. Sent her to English class and now she wants to talk to me all of the time. I preferred it the first way.

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

That is kind of my point. Once you get passed the usual physical attraction and sex aspect, surely you need to be able to "chat" and talk about things and discuss latest world events maybe, have a meaningful conversation.

Perhaps for some couples they are happy with the maid/housekeeper type relationship but I would have thought that communication above the very basics would be preferred for any long term relationship to survive, even more so in older people where sex isnt always the main event/priority.

probably know this guy 4 months and they were in a bank ?? this lady will go far

From the answers given, it is easy to see that a relationship takes many forms, depending upon the beholder. Look at the relationship you can have with a pet—hardly a common verbal language, certainly not fluent, but it works. However, I'd not want to make any decision other than to eat or play with the pet—hmm, that may be enough for some farang-Thai conjoining too.

Most of the farang-Thai relationships I have seen are limited in verbal communication and some have been together long enough to have common grandchildren. If the relationship continues, the Thai usually learns to speak enough of the farang's language for basic conversation. Sometimes, the farang picks-up enough Thai to supplement the communication. Even more rarely, a fluent-like communication emerges, which may be based upon one, or both, of their two languages—a pidgin-like combination of the two—or even based upon a third language they have come to share.

The real problem, as I see it, a true interactive relationship, in which complex thoughts and emotions can be exchanged, may never happen in many farang-Thai affiliations. That is a shame, especially for the long-term liaisons.

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

That is kind of my point. Once you get passed the usual physical attraction and sex aspect, surely you need to be able to "chat" and talk about things and discuss latest world events maybe, have a meaningful conversation.

Perhaps for some couples they are happy with the maid/housekeeper type relationship but I would have thought that communication above the very basics would be preferred for any long term relationship to survive, even more so in older people where sex isnt always the main event/priority.

For the older types, care rather than sex may be most important.

At least they cant really argue if they cant communicate

My Thai wife understands a fair amount of English, but refuses to speak it. I speak Thai at a pre-school level and only understand if the Thai speaker speaks at a moderate pace. Oddly enough, we get along fine and are very happy together. Sometimes I think the language barrier works in our favor, since we don't have a lot of heavy discussions about our "issues" and whatnot. I was married before to a very articulate farang woman who never shut up about all the things she felt we should discuss, especially when she was hell bent on making me change in some fashion. Communication is sometimes overrated. My non-English speaking Thai wife is a treasure.

It can only work once one makes the effort to learn a common language. Until then it's just a bet on the come.

A basic understanding of each others language is useful (although not essential) for a relationship to work.

As for intellectually stimulating conversation... I've not met ANY Thais who can offer that - and sadly only a few Farang seem capable.

...some of the discussions on TV is testament to that...

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

At times I wonder why I allowed mine to learn English.

the ability to communicate elaborately has brought nothing but misery to mankind. the majority of worlds conflicts originate in language and what man does with it. create politics, laws and religions, criticise others, tell lies. the more evolved a language is the greater is the possibility of misunderstandings.

a limited language such as the means a dog has to communicate has untold advantages, there is no way dogs would ever start world wars, pass immigration laws, blow each other up over who has the better god.

my gf and i do well for years now with our very limited common language and i will do NOTHING to change this.

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And you?

How does/can it work ?---OP

it's something like ----------------How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!.................................

Here is also the aerodynamics paradox: 'The more streamlined the girl the more resistance she offers'.. Seriously now, if two reasonably intelligent people cannot communicate fully then the breakup is inevitable. Fortunately many contributors to this forum shared with us their success stories where they started with zero linguistic common ground and then one, or both converged and bridged the gap. Verbal communication is a fundamental need. Lack of it cannot sustain a mutually gratifying coexistence.

You know deaf and blind people use languages too, right?

Yer....I read about that deaf mute girl who was attacked in BKK............broke 3 fingers screaming for help.......

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And how is your Thai?

Love
Love will keep us together
Think of me babe, whenever
Some sweet-talking girl comes along, singing her song
Don't mess around, you've just got to be strong, just stop
'Cause I really love you, stop
I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

-Captain and Tennille

Something like this: he porks her at will, she gets paid on a regular basis

Like in so many other cases: This will serve very well as the final analysis.

Cheers.

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And you?

My English is fluent as well.

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And how is your Thai?

average at best as there really has been no need for me to master it and if it was not for the fact I work with Thai's then I would not know any at all.

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

What do you define as stimulating conversation?

If you are looking for a long term, serious relationship....

Without basic communication skills in the same language........no doubts...keep looking.

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

At times I wonder why I allowed mine to learn English.

Because it was more convenient for you than for yourself to become fluent in Thai?

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

Same here ten years ago. My wife, during a miserable year working basically as a slave to two elderly invalid Thai ladies, had nothing else to do with her time than teach herself English from books.

So, when we first got together we communicated in writing and used a dictionary because she didn't know how to SPEAK English! But she was a quick learner, unlike me, and her English speaking soon became excellent.

I have to say though that, from the very beginning, I never spoke 'pidgin-English' to her and always spoke plainly and simply, insisting that if there were any words she didn't understand she should tell me. I don't think speaking 'pidgin' does anyone any favours in learning a language, unless, of course, they don't want their partner to have any proficiency in speaking and understanding!

In tourist-hubs it starts with "pidgin-english". Bringing up the conversation to "normal-english", you loose them quickly. You can tell, when their answers are reduced to "yes, yes,yes." So it's back to "pidgin-english".

Over the years, I made the acquaintance of a few Thais that actually speak "good" English. After a 2 hour conversation, I usually realize that we haven't spoken to each other, but past each other.

It's not a language problem, it's a cultural problem. A Farang and a Thai will never see the world thru the same glasses.

But still, Farangs and Thais marry each other, knowing that certain cultural obstacles can not be "bridged over". But then, a functioning Farang ATM card is probably the only thing that can build "bridges".

Cheers.

I guess it depends what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I value shared interests, stimulating conversation, and a deep understanding of what makes each other tick. I can't imagine any of that without a common language that goes beyond baby talk.

What do you define as stimulating conversation?

Does that really matter? Or are you just warming up for another round of keyboard warrior?

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And how is your Thai?

average at best as there really has been no need for me to master it and if it was not for the fact I work with Thai's then I would not know any at all.

Firstly, yes, I can accept it might be polite to learn your partner's first language, but that would probably be some rural village language only spoken by a few thousand people in the world, not (Central) Thai. Generally, Central Thai is not the first language of a foreigner's partner.

Secondly, English is an extremely useful language to know in many places around the world.

And finally, few of us will be able to live in Thailand forever, as Thai citizens, but our partners may well have the opportunity to live in our home English speaking countries, as citizens, if they can speak English well enough. (In the UK they need to pass an English test)

when I met my missus 8 years ago she could speak zero English and I could speak zero Thai somehow we made it work and here we are now happily married and she can now speak fluent English.

And how is your Thai?

average at best as there really has been no need for me to master it and if it was not for the fact I work with Thai's then I would not know any at all.

Firstly, yes, I can accept it might be polite to learn your partner's first language, but that would probably be some rural village language only spoken by a few thousand people in the world, not (Central) Thai. Generally, Central Thai is not the first language of a foreigner's partner.

Secondly, English is an extremely useful language to know in many places around the world.

And finally, few of us will be able to live in Thailand forever, as Thai citizens, but our partners may well have the opportunity to live in our home English speaking countries, as citizens, if they can speak English well enough. (In the UK they need to pass an English test)

Ive no idea what "central Thai" is. My partner was born and raised in Ayutthaya.

I have no desire to live here forever, The moment Iam made redundant from work the plan is to fire sale everything and get the hell out.

Ive no idea what "central Thai" is. My partner was born and raised in Ayutthaya.

I suspect her first language will Central Thai or a regional variation of Laos.

Depending on the social status of her parents. If they were rural farmers it could be village Laos.

Central Thai is the first language of people born and raised in metropolitan Bangkok, and the language taught in all Thai language schools. It's also the language used in Thai high schools all over the country, so generally their second language.

Ive no idea what "central Thai" is. My partner was born and raised in Ayutthaya.

I suspect her first language will be a regional variation of Laos.

Well if that is what is spoken in Ayutthaya then thats what it is then. Iam not fussed either way.