Online Dating Agencies

[dantilley]

What I understand is that online dating is not for everyone. Maybe for some who are working long hours and dont go out to socialise, they turn to internet to look for the opposite sex.

That's just the point, especially in Thailand. Most women here don’t go out and socialize that much and most of the socializing they do is not accessible to farangs.

If you don't use internet you only have access to a very smal portion of an otherwise available population.

zzz, what does that word means? sorry m new here

pumpkin_pie

Farrang = foreigner

[aussiestyle1983]

Well it's a bit like any other guy claiming his girl is Hi So.

"Hi So"

What does this mean?

Im guessing it means Hi Social Status, since it was used in regards to a Thai.

Edited November 2, 2006 by aussiestyle1983

[pete98146]

I've had two experiences with online dating sites. One was fantastic (now married to my 25 year old filipina as a result) and the other one was "interesting."

I'll write a bit about the "interesting" experience. About 5 years ago, I was married to a travel agent. She used to love to go to Koh Samui. As time went on, I also grew found of Thailand. Unfortunately, the marriage ended up in divorce. Soon after, I went online and started corresponding with a 24 year old lady from Bangkok.

We got chummy online enough for me to take a trip over to meet her. When she showed up to the airport, I soon discovered that she was closer to 18 years old...certainly not 24 yrs old. She ended up coming from a good middle class family and was a full time student at the uni.

In the end, she admitted that she was had a big attraction to farangs but her views are not at all supported by her family/friends/Thai society as a whole. So, we had a great time and kept the tryst on the hush. Spent two weeks with her and had a blast but never saw her again after the trip.

The entire experience left a bad taste in my mouth. Didn't like the idea of having to go against the grain by dating a Thai lady. Too much of a headache IMHO.

Now married to a remarkable Filipina. Couldn't be happier and she treats me like a KING. I still like Thailand so I'll probably end up retiring over there with the wife in 5 years.

Generally, I had good luck by using the filters on the website to look for a lady that has a 4 year degree and comes from a solid family. Quality women are out there.....just need to be patient.

[Thaddeus]

Now married to a remarkable Filipina. Couldn't be happier and she treats me like a KING.

I get seriously concerned when I read phrases like that one. On doesn't treat me like a King (Cap K... never.... full caps when hel_l freezes over) I don't treat her like a Queen (we have one of those in the shape of a poodle, she is mistress of all she surveys)

We are a couple.... that's all.... the biggest problem with on-line dating is that you can spend weeks chatting to someone who will mould themselves to your way of thinking before you ever get to meet them, that precipitates a disjointed relationship, which will eventually unravel.

Try it.... good luck.

I'd rather sift through a small number of possible candidates than waste my time trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Second thoughts, I don't need to.

[pete98146]

Now married to a remarkable Filipina. Couldn't be happier and she treats me like a KING.

We are a couple.... that's all.... the biggest problem with on-line dating is that you can spend weeks chatting to someone who will mould themselves to your way of thinking before you ever get to meet them, that precipitates a disjointed relationship, which will eventually unravel.

Never been treated like a king before? Sorry to hear that! I play league basketball and 3 of us on the team are married to filipinas. They make incredible wives. Wish I would have discovered them along time ago. But that is just my personal preference.

The one thing that I failed to mention as advise to everybody is that I took 3 years for my relationship to develop with my filipino wife. Don't ever be in a hurry to get married. Get to know your mate and be careful. I just lucked out and found a gem.

[Donz]

I met my wife on match.com

We have been together for over 2 years now and we got married in July.

At the time, I was only using the site to meet possible friends in Thailand before comming here for a holiday, and after we first met, a relationship developed. Should we of not married just because we met on the net? I dont think so. I would have to say, the net is not the most innocent of all places to meet, and yes, there are many scammers on the net and people using the net to meet must be carefull. On the other hand, it makes it possible for people to meet who do not have other alternatives ( maybe you work strange hours, or you just want to make friends overseas before travelling to that country ) either way, my wife and i couldnt be happier. So yes, there are many success stories form couples that have met on the net, and sadly, there are also stories of many rip offs................I can say that I would deffiently rather get involved in a long term relationship with a girl from the internet rather than a " bar girl "

But how do you know that the girl from the internet isnt a bar girl too??

Well it's a bit like any other guy claiming his girl is Hi So.

In the absense of evidence we have to take his word for it, we don't want to go upsetting people's feelings do we?!

Whats with this childish attcks? Cant handle my last ownage?

So in that case why would you believe anyone on this forum? Why do you appear to have a major chip on your shoulder about someone claiming to have a great gf? Could be insecure issues I believe.

Come on guesthouse, i thought you were abit more grown up then that.

[Soju]

You got to be a complete moron to not use the net to find a partner. With this incredible tool you can fine tune your search to what you are looking for. You can also do the initial sorting of the potentials before meeting to avoid a lot of wasted time. Sure there are some scammers around but they exist everywhere.

The difference is that if you don’t use the net you have to run around town to bars, shopping centers or wherever you are looking for a partner and hope you run into someone that could be a compatible, how stupid is that.

The net is just a way to find someone what happens after that is the same as what happens after you meet someone on the street, in a bar or wherever.

The net just gives you thousands of more possibilities and a higher potential for success in whatever you are searching for. Got nothing to do with being socially adept, it's all about being smart and use the tools available.

However, having said that, the internet isn't for me. I initially met my wife in person and couldn't really see myself finding a wife on the internet. The reason being that for me the initial chemistry involved in the very first time your eyes meet is something that's lacking from internet introductions. There are so many intangibles that make up chemistry between two people which for me could never be captured in pictures and profiles on the net. But for some people, that initial chemistry isn't so important and maybe it can develop over time after meeting face-to-face.

So I think internet introductions are great for some people, but bad for others. To each their own.

well said.

we are all animals, picking up scents, evaluating eye contact and checking out the state of the fur. can't do that on a <deleted> profile

That initial chemistry is certainly important but the thing is that it's still there when you meet in person. The internet is just used to find a person you could click with. If the chemistry is not there when you meet you can move on, same as if you meet someone in a bar. The profile is just for the initial sorting after that you are back to the normal animal instincts.

The thing is internet gives you 1000's to select from, if you sit in a bar there would certainly be much less of a selection.

But like you say, to each their own.

I think the key point is to do whatever works best for you. I certainly don't knock the people finding romance via the internet. For some people it works, and for others it simply doesn't work. I think it's great if you can find someone via the internet and more power to you. But I can't.

Regarding chemistry, if you're someone who finds that there's good chemistry with half the women you meet, then the internet should be an excellent tool. But if you're like me, and find the chemistry only happens with maybe 1 in 1000 ladies, then the chemistry suddenly becomes much more important. I can go someplace where there are thousands of people and maybe find someone with whom the chemistry is right, and then take it from there to see if a relationship is possible. That method is practical in that it doesn't take much time. But by spending a lot of time on filtering ladies on the internet with whom there's less than a 1% chance that the chemistry will be there upon meeting is a waste of time for me. It would take years and years before I'd have even the slightest chance of meeting someone with good chemistry.

[pumpkin_pie]

just out of curiosity...... we read and heard abt thai and filipino ladies with foreigners but seldom come across malaysian ladies with foreigners...... is it becos malaysian ladies are not that open?

pumpkin_pie

[Donz]

Well if your looking on a site and she looks smoking, then I dont see a problem.

IMO its better to meet girls on your own, but some people just dont have the confidence and might need alittle help via a website.

Dating agencies help people who want to be helped finding a girl for them

[Jockstar]

IMO its better to meet girls on your own, but some people just dont have the confidence

Have to agree with that. I would never use an agency. Better to get out there and experience it all yourself. But then again i'm married. But have never even considered using an agency. Done need to. I have confidence in myself. But as Donz said. Some people dont. Good luck to them.

[leftcross]

some people are happy eating soya meat, some aren't. it's that simple.

[LoveDaBlues]

For those not confident enough to meet someone online they can always get liquored-up and meet their dream girl in a bar.

Really, what does it matter how two people meet if they are happy?

My two divorced buddies (traditional meeting) are very happy with their new 'internet met wives'. That's the important thing.

Good luck to all searching for a solid relationship. I have mine; and wish you the best in finding yours regardless of how your goal is achieved.

[leftcross]

For those not confident enough to meet someone online they can always get liquored-up and meet their dream girl in a bar.

sorry to be the one to tell you, but there is a whole big bad world between bars and the internet that most girls live in.

perhaps bar failures then move onto the internet to find women as the next phase of evolution???? now there's a thought.

Edited November 3, 2006 by leftcross

[LoveDaBlues]

A whole lot of decent, intelligent girls INCLUDE the internet as ONE of the ways they meet others. Many of these girls WOULD NEVER go into a bar. Sometimes, if things click beyond the net, love can happen. That's a good thing.

Guess some folks can't handle that fact; or are too dense to understand.

[pete98146]

A whole lot of decent, intelligent girls INCLUDE the internet as ONE of the ways they meet others. Many of these girls WOULD NEVER go into a bar. Sometimes, if things click beyond the net, love can happen. That's a good thing.

This is a very good point! I live in Seattle and I know a ton of American couples that met online. I don't think it's a matter of not having confidence at all that brings folks to meet their partners online. The online sites allow you to sift thru thousands and thousands of women thus allowing you to concentrate on a few dozen women that really meet your particular needs.

For me, it was a matter of convenience. If I had to hit the streets and troll of a woman with my wife's qualifications, it would have taken a LONG LONG time....this to me is finding the needle in the haystack.

Again, I'm talking about my experiences with Filipino women over at cherryblossoms dot com. Dating Thai ladies online may be a completely different experience.

As a side note, many guys fall in love with Thailand but have problems meeting a respectable girl. Why not date/marry a filipina and then take her to Thailand? She'll be happy. It's only a 3 hour flight from Manila to Bangkok so her chances of getting homesick are minimized.

I took my wife to Koh Samui and even the Thais could not tell that she wasn't Thai. Funny story: last April we stayed over a few days at Asia Hotel in Bkk. We went out for dinner one night and we were about ready to hop on the elevator and the hotel security guard races over and says "sir sir sir, you cannot have any girl in your room at this hotel!!!!!!!!!!" Imagine the look of shock when my wife started talking to her in Tagalog...lol. Had fun ribbing the wife that she looks like a bar girl...got a lot of milage out of that one

So, I have a beautiful college educated 25 year old wife (all 5'1 and 103 pounds of her) that speaks perfect english and has NO PROBLEM one day packing up and retiring in Thailand. So, online dating does offer a good alternative to traditional dating.

Edited November 3, 2006 by pete98146

[JimsKnight]

When I was living in Chiang Mai.....gulp.....I did date girls there.....gulp......then I met a girl I liked chatting with on the internet who.....gulp.....happened to live in Udon Thani. Now she's my ...............gulp.............wife.

Did you ever stop to thing your soulmate might not be living close to where you live? Better yet, do you ever stop to think?

chatting on the internet to meet women in thailand reeks of a complete lack of social skills

you didnt see you future wife and think WOW she's beautiful.

you didn't feel nervous about approaching her but then decided you HAD TO because you knew you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't.

you didn't see her smile for the first time when you spoke to her as you both started to find out about each other.

you just logged on and chatted over the internet. that's not for me.

But it is for some people, live and let live lefty.

i do live and let live but this is a discussion forum so i've added my thoughts. they arent worth any more or any less than those of the next person.

not being able to meet women for real in thailand is an absolute joke though.

i wonder what all these ''chatters'' would have done before the internet was invented..... might have had to open the door and, gulp, face the real world

No two falangs where made alike leftcross. Not all are 'swordsmen' when it comes to the gift of the gab.

Also some of the internet 'chatters' may be in an area where there are thai girls who like the falang are in short supply. Believe it or not some thai girls who, 'gulp' don't want a falang boyfriend! I've been in some parts of thailand where there is a drought of decent available women to to men. And others where it is jumping for thai girls!

If you're not into going down the girly bars every five minutes or the nightclubs then you've to pull out the thai language sword from your armoury, and not every falang can speak thai. Hence a good tool for the 'chatters' is... gulp gulp! The internet!

[jdinasia]

..... i accidentally found myself on a website I thought about starting 2+ years ago .......

Edited November 3, 2006 by jdinasia

[andjohnson]

I've always been intrigued as well wheter or not you can meet other cool people. Any suggestions on certain sites?

[Valjean]

I've always been intrigued as well wheter or not you can meet other cool people. Any suggestions on certain sites?

I was very happy with my experiences at thailovelinks <link removed> . I think about $25 a month or $50 for three months. If you do three months and are active you will have scheduling problems with all the women you've met or want to meet you.

Go on most days to check in because searches come back by last active date so you stay at the top of the list - women will be searching for you,

Write a nice profile. Be a gentleman. Treat people with respect.

Use the “show interest” and mail features – not just the chat. They work and plenty will use with you.

Exchange MSN email addresses for MSN Messenger (or Yahoo interoperates now). 95% of Thailand uses MSN chat. Better to get off the funky TLL chat and you don’t have to be online at TLL for someone you know to chat with you. You need to do this with the TLL mail or chat. You can’t put in your profile.

Over time I got more choosey about who I’d decide to meet. At first it was “what the heck” but got more selective. Make sure I have plenty of pictures and have done enough chatting to know a little about them. You can always talk on the phone some also. Then you learn how well you can communicate Thai-English.

Be respectful that they may want to be careful in the first meeting. Maybe they will bring a friend along. If the friend likes you you’re in. Also likely if you do become friends that friend will be part of the gang. May as well see what you get.

Don’t suggest a weekend away as the first date.

Good luck,

Valjean

<link removed>

No link drops please.

Edited November 4, 2006 by Totster

[leftcross]

If you're not into going down the girly bars every five minutes or the nightclubs then you've to pull out the thai language sword from your armoury, and not every falang can speak thai. Hence a good tool for the 'chatters' is... gulp gulp! The internet!

i would say the last place the last place to look for a girlfriend is a girly bar.

and a lot of thais can speak passable english to go with your passable thai, it's not impossible. presuming we are talking about men who live in thailand, then you should have enough language skills to get you through the basics.

it's just laziness really. why have a shower, look and feel good and then roll the dice talking with a woman you desire when you can sit in your fart-soaked computer chair in your keks and pretend all you like behind the safety of the screen.

[qualtrough]

just out of curiosity...... we read and heard abt thai and filipino ladies with foreigners but seldom come across malaysian ladies with foreigners...... is it becos malaysian ladies are not that open?

pumpkin_pie

The Malays in Malaysia are Muslims, and Islam is a bit less lenient than Buddhism and Christianity when it comes to marrying outside the faith, at least for women. Found this on the Web from an Islamic site:

"However, a Muslim lady can neither be married nor remain married to a non-Muslim, including one belonging to the "People of Book". If some Muslim sister has indulged in this, she should approach the husband and try her best that he also converts to Islam. Meanwhile she will NOT act as his wife and stay divorced. If after lapse of some time, the husband embraces Islam, they can however, unite again without fresh marriage, as such instances are reported in the "Seerah" and the decisions given was by the Prophet (SWS) himself. In case he doesn't embrace Islam, divorce is inevitable."

Please note that I am not saying this is true of all Muslims or Malays, but I think it explains why you don't see so many couples as the pumpkin_pie noted.

[qualtrough]

I am married so not in the market for a new girlfriend with the help of the Internet or not. Having said that, I can't help but wonder about women who need to go on the Internet to seek a boyfriend or spouse, and would especially be wary of a Thai woman doing that specifically to meet a Farang husband. Not saying it doesn't or won't work for some, but it would set off all kinds of warning bells for me. YMMV.