Do you think Thais are actully capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[Scott]

Inflammatory post removed.

[Nasrullah]

Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense?

Yes i do!!!

99% of farang/thai relationships are based on money........

[Nasrullah]

There's a test (the movie - ' A Bronx's Tale'):

"Listens...when you gooz ta pik her up.

Unlock and open the car door for her,

then walks around the back,

and see if she bends over to unlock your door"

"If she does: she's-ah-keeper!,

and if she doesn't: fore-getta-ah-bout-ter!!"

Best test for true love. Really!, 'un-selfishness' is the 'one and only standard' needed for lasting relationships.

Note: "...said all in fun and with experience...all 'haters' don't needs to replies"

I used to do this in America--I don't have a car here so I use a different test.

On dates I notice some women will offer food, put your straw in your drink, refill your glass--little things like that. I never once had a western woman do any of that to me.

Another drink sir??....

[Penefattore]

Your wife sounds very controlling and you should probably seek help for her with that. This might save your marriage.

If I were him I'd rather try to save myself instead of marriage

[Penefattore]

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Jump on the first plane for Cambo ?

[SoiBiker]

There's a test (the movie - ' A Bronx's Tale'):

"Listens...when you gooz ta pik her up.

Unlock and open the car door for her,

then walks around the back,

and see if she bends over to unlock your door"

"If she does: she's-ah-keeper!,

and if she doesn't: fore-getta-ah-bout-ter!!"

Best test for true love. Really!, 'un-selfishness' is the 'one and only standard' needed for lasting relationships.

Note: "...said all in fun and with experience...all 'haters' don't needs to replies"

I used to do this in America--I don't have a car here so I use a different test.

On dates I notice some women will offer food, put your straw in your drink, refill your glass--little things like that. I never once had a western woman do any of that to me.

I've had plenty of western women do stuff like that for me.

Mostly because they were the waitress, though. I'm not sure why you would expect anything like that from your date.

[simonuk]

Selling your sexuality is 'part of being a woman?'

Good god.

women have been "making men comfortable " in exchange for protection and security and men have protected and provided for women in exchange for "comfort" since time began.

Thankfully humans have developed but those basic instinctive attractions that were necessary for survival still exist...women seek providers and men seek healthy young women to give them with children.

If you can't see that then you are blind. In my opinion.

[Mosha]

One local wedding we went to, they courted for over 25 years. Her father set a high sin sot price, his family could not pay. Her father kept finding would be husbands, and she would point blank refuse. This went on until the father died. The mother was getting old, and she realised her daughter would wait her out too. So the married, the husband just had to pay for the party. I'd say that was a love match.

Sent from my SMART_4G_Speedy_5inch using Tapatalk

[daveAustin]

Yes and no, but Western men would rarely come across it. The type of women most farangs rub shoulders with here would 'likely' have an agenda: to be monied, to be looked after and to look after family. Love in majority of these situations is not necessary from the perspective of the Thai female and is a luxury if it ever turns up. Of course it can happen organically -- Western male meets Thai female of similar age with similar level of education and means with no pretense. Thai women have a brain and are as capable of feeling and empathy as anyone.

[kai ham yai]

I have been in a relationship with many a Thai woman and have yet to have one ask me for monetary help for her or her family. So to tell someone to prepare for that if they get involved with a Thai woman is total bs.

The woman I am currently seeing now went back home to Surin a couple of weeks ago because her father fell ill and was in the hospital. She paid the bill of 115,000 baht. She asked me for absolutely 0 baht. When I first met this woman and she came over to stay with me I honestly thought she was a hooker. The next day I took her home and handed her 1000 baht. She looked at me confused and asked what the money was for. I felt like a total jackass.

and you banged her on the first night, good lad.

[AdamRich]

Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense?

Yes i do!!!

99% of farang/thai relationships are based on money........

And that is only for one reason. Because most farangs choose to be in that type of relationship. And judging from most of these posts they think that is the only type of relationship available to them and others. Hell, maybe for some it is. For me that is definitely not the case. The last time a woman was able to get money out of me without me giving it to her was never. They only have themselves to blame.

[Fookhaht]

OMG, I hope not!

Why would a Thai want to adopt such a delusional concept as Western-style love? What a regressive, repulsive, backward-thinking idea.

I came here to get away from all that shallowness.

Edited May 14, 2016 by Fookhaht

[fey]

I have been in a relationship with many a Thai woman and have yet to have one ask me for monetary help for her or her family. So to tell someone to prepare for that if they get involved with a Thai woman is total bs.

The woman I am currently seeing now went back home to Surin a couple of weeks ago because her father fell ill and was in the hospital. She paid the bill of 115,000 baht. She asked me for absolutely 0 baht. When I first met this woman and she came over to stay with me I honestly thought she was a hooker. The next day I took her home and handed her 1000 baht. She looked at me confused and asked what the money was for. I felt like a total jackass.

and you banged her on the first night, good lad.

he thought she was a hooker, but changed his mind when she refused payment

[Agent Sumo]

Selling your sexuality is 'part of being a woman?'

Good god.

women have been "making men comfortable " in exchange for protection and security and men have protected and provided for women in exchange for "comfort" since time began.

Thankfully humans have developed but those basic instinctive attractions that were necessary for survival still exist...women seek providers and men seek healthy young women to give them with children.

If you can't see that then you are blind. In my opinion.

Since time began, certain types of men have been baiting their collective hooks with "security" and "protection" and then acting surprisedand betrayed when they discover that, as far as the woman is concerned, love and respect weren't part of the deal.

How stupid

Only some women seek providers - not all.

Western men complain about the lack of femininity among Western women who've more independent but it's not because they have an problem with women earning their own money.

It's because, a financially independent woman is far less likely to put up with some knuckle-dragging oaf trying to control her by regulating the flow of money.

[bangkokfanatic]

Despite the 5 year relationship, the land & house, the Toyota & my stepson now really progressing at a private school & our own 3 year old daughter it still comes down to - if I can't "take care" then it will falter. Yes it is love. But economic necessity will outweigh love from any Thai woman.

[Agent Sumo]

Despite the 5 year relationship, the land & house, the Toyota & my stepson now really progressing at a private school & our own 3 year old daughter it still comes down to - if I can't "take care" then it will falter. Yes it is love. But economic necessity will outweigh love from any Thai woman.

Nope. I think you're trying to say "any Thai woman that you can get"

If a guy fishes in waters teeming with financially-challenged women, then it will be easy to catch one that is attracted to his ability to "take care"

If another guy fishes in waters with women capable of taking care of themselves financially, economic necessity won't impact on love

[dirtycash]

afer 15 years ? nope !! i get a sense of companionship, a sense im being used for a purpose, a crutch , someone to show off to the villagers, someone to make baby, and someone to share a laugh and a drink with now and again.

but love ? NO..... i have never felt loved by any of my 3 long term thai ex,s.

[laolover88]

Many interesting views about women. What about Thai men? If you don't have a view I wonder what your g/f or Mrs might say?

Edited May 14, 2016 by laolover88

[Michael8511]

I think it's wrong yo say that all Thai western relations is only about ฿ and $, there are a lot of old folks that live on fixed income and have Thai partners and they are happy even though the money are tight. I have a Asian partner gnat is 20 year younger and make 3 times my income, own the house we live in and we are happy.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

This is the 3rd time we have had this topic.Give it a rest! you will never get to the bottom of it.

[kai ham yai]

This is the 3rd time we have had this topic.Give it a rest! you will never get to the bottom of it.

don't worry Dave, she'll be back.

[tuonsai]

​I should try and elaborate a bit!. I believe my wife does love me and loves the children. But her love is circumscribed by her family: mother, father elder brother her love for whom is based more on duty than spontaneous emotion. Her love for the children is constrained by her determination to control them otherwise they will not learn to became good Thais and a requirement that they are subservient to her. I raise the children in a "European" way and she says that is not helping them to be "strong"! We used to have squabbles about the fact that I picked them up too much. And, of course, she subscribes to the simple belief that a husband looks after his wife economically and that is the basis of love. Marriage has been looked at as an economic or political arrangement for centuries in many places, so you can't complain about that. What I have found slightly unsettling over a couple of decades, and not just in my family, is the sense that personal relationships mirror that patronage/patronized relationship in the wider society.

Realised I cannot spell actually!!

To answer your question, any member of our species (homo sapiens) is (potentially) capable of loving another member in many different ways

including whatever you mean by in the Western sense. You have some idealized picture of Western marital love which might be true in a minority of cases.

I personally do not know a single person for whom a Western long term love relationship has worked. I come from a country where divorces and not getting married are

more of a norm than happy marriages.

So yes of course thai women are capable of loving a white man in the way you mean, but it doesn't mean the specific individual you are with is

capable of loving you in that way, which could be because of your specific personalities. The issue of placing family over the husband is not specific to thais, though

it is clearly more common with them, since in the West family values have eroded since the 1950's. All humans are capable of learning at any age, so whatever you're after

you still have a chance of working on it.

[eldragon]

Thai girl gets her heart broken by a Thai man one time and swears em off forever. Same Thai girl gets played by foreigners over and over again yet keeps trying to find one for marriage. The feelings are not the same.

[puffy]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

You are right, I have a money obsession, I use it for virtually everything I do, Buying food, paying all the bills

going out, paying for healthcare and education for the kids. I wish I was better looking then I obviously would not

need to do all these things.

[aneliane]

Romanticism was born by German poets in the 18th century.

Try explaining that it is inherently a rejection of classicism, and that true love must free itself from social conformism to a Thai and you will face a robotic blank stare.

[Berkshire]

Thai girl gets her heart broken by a Thai man one time and swears em off forever. Same Thai girl gets played by foreigners over and over again yet keeps trying to find one for marriage. The feelings are not the same.

I've heard this and been told by Thai girls. A Thai guy can break a Thai girl's heart, but a farang cannot. And the reality is a girl has to be in love with the guy to have her heart broken by him. So you're right, the feelings are not the same.

[tootall]

I always tell people to read the book "Private Dancer". It is a must read and good read. It explains a lot about the Thai-Farang relationship and what the Tai lady is about in values, family, and life. Read it and it will explain it all

[Bernard Flint]

Foolish answers as always.

Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption?

People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand.

Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way?

If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%?

If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post.

Of course love is possible.

When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality.

I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man.

Excellant post Sir, i despair at some farangs, they are very sad, lost souls who cannot give love themselves, hence they cannot accept love, so reject it.

[eldragon]

Thai girl gets her heart broken by a Thai man one time and swears em off forever. Same Thai girl gets played by foreigners over and over again yet keeps trying to find one for marriage. The feelings are not the same.

I've heard this and been told by Thai girls. A Thai guy can break a Thai girl's heart, but a farang cannot. And the reality is a girl has to be in love with the guy to have her heart broken by him. So you're right, the feelings are not the same.

Perhaps now you understand why some of us feel like most Thai women are not deeply interested in us.

[IMA_FARANG]

Tell me....in the U.S or the U.K what percentage of couples are still together after 10 years of marriage these days.?

Even Prince Charles and Horsey Face are on their 2nd marriages.