Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) Birthday today. No cake, no present no nothing. Now I never make a fuss about these things and truth be told I don't really give a rats. I was actually shocked she even remembered. Done a lot for this lady...always thoughtful. Take care of nearly everything which a lot is my fault. I cook 98% of the time and she's never bothered to learn to cook anything apart from her own limited food. She doesn't even seem to want to do that anymore. If I indicate I don't feel like cooking she either suggests we eat out or she's not hungry. Definitely the most selfish person I ever met. Thinks she's awesome too. Asked her a few times what she thinks she does for me...."I'm careful not spend ur money" and "I'm live with you everyday". Pretty poor. Anyway, more fool me of course. I didn't think it was the culture here about gifts etc but seems to be a big deal on her birthday. I stopped worrying about giving her anything a year ago. So mid morning I mentioned would have been nice if you thought to get a present or a card. Then the Thai BS starts flowing...I didnt know what to buy you". "I make plan go shop sell my gold buy you present today. I should have held her to that. At least she had a plan for dinner. "You (me) can make your favourite Chinese food". It really is that bad and to be honest tiring of it. On the positive she's not a money grubber and is thrifty with the spending and we don't support her parents. Done everything to try and teach her about mutual caring etc but if it's not there it's not there. Definitely is all about her though. Edited May 17, 2016 by Kenny202 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koosdedooes Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 This year an icecream birthday cake this year from Swensons and a pair of nice leather dress shoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I wonder what kind of relationships you guys have.. Of course i get presents when I have a birthday and so does she. Seems normal to me that both get stuff. I would see it as a sign that I am just good for one thing, if I had to give her stuff on her birthday and mine was forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Birthday cakes & ice cream with the birthday song & candles is about it around our place.... But - whenever any/either of us is out a little something is always thoughtfully brought back one another.... In that small way the spirit of giving & sharing is with us all year..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I receive gifts, cake etc without prompting, though don't care much for birthdays/xmas, but thought is nice I guess. What sort of education level are we talking? The typical MO with many girls from a certain sector of Thai society is as it's your birthday, you should be making an effort by taking people out for lavish meals, etc, and the same again for theirs. The 'I'm live with you everyday' line is telling in that her staying with you is her input into the relationship and that is good enough in her eyes. I fear you are too weak with your woman and she is taking the Michael, though lots of blokes find themselves in this situation no doubt. A Thai male would not have it. If you are not happy, just walk. Happy Birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayk Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) Last year for my birthday my fiancee bought me a Kawasaki Ninja 650 and yesterday she bought me a Toyota Yaris just because it's so damn hot these days. Edited May 17, 2016 by Rayk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Yes, and always have. Birthday cake with nice iceing message on it, always a gift (usually clothing) Family take me to a nice restaurant, then back to my home for share the bday cake etc. Gifts from her family members too.Young neices hand-make the birthday cards. We do exactly the same for her family members, because everyone is treated exactly the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 I receive gifts, cake etc without prompting, though don't care much for birthdays/xmas, but thought is nice I guess. What sort of education level are we talking? The typical MO with many girls from a certain sector of Thai society is as it's your birthday, you should be making an effort by taking people out for lavish meals, etc, and the same again for theirs. The 'I'm live with you everyday' line is telling in that her staying with you is her input into the relationship and that is good enough in her eyes. I fear you are too weak with your woman and she is taking the Michael, though lots of blokes find themselves in this situation no doubt. A Thai male would not have it. If you are not happy, just walk. Happy Birthday. Yeah poor education from a village. I thought a real country girl. And yes if I knew what I knew know I would have chosen more wisely and from a different socio economic group. Known her for 4 years. 2 living together in Australia but she changed greatly when we moved to Thailand. She had faults before that but generally I felt like the luckiest man on earth. I'm 50, shes 33. A bit of a difference but I'm not a broken down wreck and had 30's GFs back home so I'm not or wasn't a desperate old man looking for a payg mum. I've tried everything with her and despite evidence to the contrary I'm no idiot. She has so much to lose and for reasons not added here she would be in the sht deeply if I left her. Besides we have a kid. A professional would say I am enabling her by accepting the behavior but I have literally tried everything...it's just impossible ...she's just unpredictable and doesn't react the way a normal person would to warning signs. Tried walking out one day (its my place) and she went berserk. Didnt break anything but the potentials there. I should just jump in the pick up and dissapear for a few days but really wouldnt know what to expect when i got home. She packs her bag at least once every 2 weeks. Used to drive me crazy and id go and calm her down. Now I offer to help. She always ends up painting herself into a corner and looking foolish but she does it anyway. 100% like dealing with a hormonal teenager, probably worse. Cant sit down and talk with her reasonably it turns into a (one way) screaming match in 20 seconds. I wish I knew the answer? Like trying to deal with a suicide bomber that doesn't care about their own welfare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 Last year for my birthday my fiancee bought me a Kawasaki Ninja 650 and yesterday she bought me a Toyota Yaris just because it's so damn hot these days.with her money or yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uptheos Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Do whatever you want to do, are you asking in case you spend too much or too little, or nothing. I don't understand this following the sheep attitude, you do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable and if your wife/gf doesn't like it the that's her problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZBill Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Sounds like you picked a winner there. My wife buys me little gifts all the time and never forgets my birthday. There is always something special she comes up with and even hand makes me beautiful cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayk Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Last year for my birthday my fiancee bought me a Kawasaki Ninja 650 and yesterday she bought me a Toyota Yaris just because it's so damn hot these days.with her money or yours? To be honest. She put the 59000b down payment on the bike and the 125000b down payment on the car and I paid the rest. It was the thought that counts. Btw, she already owns her own car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) Sounds like you picked a winner there. My wife buys me little gifts all the time and never forgets my birthday. There is always something special she comes up with and even hand makes me beautiful cards.Thanks.....Jeez - how could I have forgotten the beautiful hand made cards that have been made for me.... Also a crocheted muffler one time that had "And I Love You So" - our song - hand sewed across the border.....Many handmade thoughtful items....Which are light years more meaningful than store bought..... One time before a long solo roadtrip she grabbed my karaoke song list & found versions of the love songs which she put on a zip drive for me....They had gone on ahead as I had my visa due date and had to leave a few days later..... She shyly surprised me with it....A great loving/giving spirit & heart....She's always been that way..... Edited May 17, 2016 by pgrahmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 Yeah I think that's it in a nutshell. She has zero thoughtfulness. To be honest I think she finds it impossible to put herself in another's shoes. There is a history of autism in her family. I mean she's affectionate etc, maybe more than many Thai girls but empathy or caring isn't one of her traits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bantex Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 My wife never forgets my birthday, presents, cake and family party. On her birthday she gets the same usually with a crappy present followed by a special present. The kids get the same. When she comes back from shopping there's normally something for me, even if only a few beers. We have never bought her family presents on their birthdays, sometimes a small cake is bought or the wife cooks them a meal. She never stops in the house, the kids are always well fed, washed and wearing clean clothes. The house is spotless and if I even hint that I'm slightly hungry, she's straight into the kitchen and cooking. With having two young kids, she does laundry every two days and everything gets ironed. Of course she gets presents on her birthday, Christmas etc with small treats throughout the year, she deserves them. Maybe I'm one of the few lucky ones even after 10 years together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamkyong Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 yes certainly did 3 shirts 2pair shorts birthday meal with family great time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottocus Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Last birthday I got a shirt and a couple of grand in Baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 In Ten plus years, my Ex gave me a cd of a group I had never liked. A copy Ed Hardy shirt that fit her. A counterfit knife that I chucked out. For her birthday she got heaps of gifts. The last birthday of her I spent with her I took her to Koh Tao. We stayed at an expensive resort for 5 days. I bought her about 10 k worth of clothes. It was two weeks till her real birthday. When that came around she was shell shocked I didnt give he anything on the actual day.... My current Gf's birthday is a week before mine and we celebrate them together. Gifts and dinner and a genuine nice two birthdays so far......Im glad I am not worried about growing old with this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tolsti Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 My maid brought me 2 new houseplants and a note saying Happy Birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Dont bother much with birthdays etc she gives me anything I ask for, last biggish thing was a Honda Cbr650f but i dont really want for anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Got a birthday cake with candles,a shirt and a new jacket,next day went to dinner, but no birthday card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 My maid brought me 2 new houseplants and a note saying Happy Birthday. What! No BJ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 From the OP Now I never make a fuss about these things and truth be told I don't really give a rats. I was actually shocked she even remembered. But you do give a rats and you are making a fuss. Enough to start a topic about it. Maybe she is confused by the mixed messages. Also, complaining about doing 50% of the taking care of your new baby is not good form in the year 2016. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 birth day three daughters.jpgyes certainly did 3 shirts 2pair shorts birthday meal with family great time beautiful family :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 From the OP Now I never make a fuss about these things and truth be told I don't really give a rats. I was actually shocked she even remembered. But you do give a rats and you are making a fuss. Enough to start a topic about it. Maybe she is confused by the mixed messages. Also, complaining about doing 50% of the taking care of your new baby is not good form in the year 2016. Did I mention I do 90% of the cooking and housework? I would be the most domesticated bloke around. Problem is, the more I do the more it becomes MY job. Did I mention she doesn't work? I'd say on average she puts in an hour a day....and that's a pretty slow and unproductive hour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mesquite Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) deleted Edited May 17, 2016 by mesquite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 One thing I would like to ask the blokes that have thoughtful and caring wives are they from a rural background or educated Thais? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedghog Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Employ a young maid. See how the wife shapes up with potential competition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 It gets better. I made dinner....after she fell asleep on the lounge so I went and washed up haha. It's just incredulous. I asked her if she felt embarrassed about herself. She went to bed. I think I'm gonna go out and get hammered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 One thing I would like to ask the blokes that have thoughtful and caring wives are they from a rural background or educated Thais? Rural background but Uni educated then spent 14+ years in management for a Japanese Electronics company that manfactures electronic components used in new Japanese car/truck assembly......Worked 6-7 days a week there - basically 6am to 7-8pm then sleep & do it again .....Work ethic is strong....... Farm family & she was the first Uni grad of their part of the family.... Others from the family have since gone on to the university level after - but she was the first..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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