Any you blokes get gifts from ur wives / Gfs?

[tagalong]

I have been here 15 years and have never got anything from a Thai....But, come their birthday...Where is it?

The worst I find with so-called Thai manners, non of them can say thank you. They seem to think they do not have to..

That's because their parents never did also..

[Colabamumbai]

Sure I get tic tac mints, she knows I like them, my favorite soaps, Songkran shirts and sometimes she pays the songtaew or motochai, buys me cold coffee etc.

I told her life is 50/50.

[bridge2bridge]

I learnt a long time ago NEVER SPOIL a Thai woman too much.

They will take advantage of you all the time.

Very selfish people.

I always buy stuff for my girl friend's family.

And NEVER get a thank you.

Maybe time to stop being kind hearted.

[williamgeorgeallen]

i offered to get my girl a scooter thinking it would mean she could take care of some of the running around as i do all the driving. then before i did i asked her if she would actually use it. she replied no she just wanted to park it in front of the house. all just to show off. i was not so keen to have her driving the kids around on it anyway. i ended up giving her some cash. last time i will offer to buy her anything. she has a fair salary and can choose to buy what she wants. i like to be generous but i have found it to be a mistake in most cases.

[ChrisKC]

I am comforted by knowing I am not alone!

[Laza 45]

Birthday cakes & ice cream with the birthday song & candles is about it around our place....

But - whenever any/either of us is out a little something is always thoughtfully brought back one another....

In that small way the spirit of giving & sharing is with us all year.....

..that is the way it is around here too.. and I've got a nice collection of shirts too...most of them fit!

[williamgeorgeallen]

I learnt a long time ago NEVER SPOIL a Thai woman too much.

They will take advantage of you all the time.

Very selfish people.

I always buy stuff for my girl friend's family.

And NEVER get a thank you.

Maybe time to stop being kind hearted.

i hear you. i like to buy things for my girls extend family but they never seem grateful so i gave up. i wonder if not saying thank you or being grateful is a thai thing. also the thai guys who worked for me almost never said sorry when they screwed things up. i wonder if this is a thai saving face thing.

[ChrisKC]

What lesson can we learn from a Thai woman who never gives a gift to her supposed "lover" but will readily hand out B500 tamboon at weddings and funerals to people they don't even know, who in their turn won't thank them for it?

[bwpage3]

It's not the birthday it's the fact you are under appreciated and have a loveless marriage.

To this day my wife spoils me rotten.

She is super appreciative of me and shows it every day.

Just living a dream feeling so lucky

[Kenny202]

Thanks everyone. Feel a lot better now. I did get pissed last night and told her to pack her bags in the morning and get. Gave it to her both barrels for two hours. She says she's woken up. Well see. Too be honest I'm pretty sure it's too late. I been flogging a dead horse for 4 years and not even sure there's any feelings left on my part. Ill try one more time for my son. Unfortunately my opening post highlight her good points. There have been many other darker issues also. Really hit the jackpot with this one

[ChrisKC]

It's not the birthday it's the fact you are under appreciated and have a loveless marriage.

To this day my wife spoils me rotten.

She is super appreciative of me and shows it every day.

Just living a dream feeling so lucky

That's really nice and I imagine you are a nice man. There isn't much luck in it: You both are thoughtful and probably quite unselfish.

Both partners in the relationship being unselfish has the effect of each getting what they need without wishing for or taking it.

[catman20]

sounds to me like you all need to move on without the parasites. I used to live with Thai girls they end up making more work for me around my house so now I live alone and when my g/f comes to stay with me for a week she has to pull her weight washing ironing mopping floors and cooking ect. I do take her to nice places on holiday buy her cloths but that's all and she know if she's not happy with it, I've told her look for a new farang.

[khunPer]

OP Kenny202, have you considered a Thai girlfriend/wife – they are educated to take care of their man – my GF say, that a Thai lady loose face, if she cannot take good care of her man...

My lovely Thai GF almost daily cooks delicious food for me (sometime we dine out), gives me birthday present and birthday cake, and small gifts now and then – the small ongoing surprises like bringing ice cream or crispy pork home or..., matters more than birthdays – and of course chocolate and roses for Valentines Day and make up the bed...

...but perhaps I'm just lucky..?

[ChrisKC]

sounds to me like you all need to move on without the parasites. I used to live with Thai girls they end up making more work for me around my house so now I live alone and when my g/f comes to stay with me for a week she has to pull her weight washing ironing mopping floors and cooking ect. I do take her to nice places on holiday buy her cloths but that's all and she know if she's not happy with it, I've told her look for a new farang.

I am not prepared to discuss ALL my dirty linen in public but suffice to say, some of us are in circumstances that make "moving on" not that simple.

When I live alone I have plenty of money every month to live on and save. When I am with (as I am now) a Thai woman, I cannot afford to go anywhere else at a moments notice. I cannot easily look for alternative accommodation and I can't search for a new g/f. If this became apparent to my present g/f "woe" would be me.

I have already "moved on" a few times and if I told you what I have needed to do to make that happen you would accuse me of lying!

This is one reason why I will never marry a Thai. Same as houses: rent, not buy!

For some writing on this forum, they have found a true (with the emphasis on TRUE) lovely Thai woman - I am still looking!

Edited May 18, 2016 by ChrisKC

[ChrisKC]

OP Kenny202, have you considered a Thai girlfriend/wife – they are educated to take care of their man – my GF say, that a Thai lady loose face, if she cannot take good care of her man...

My lovely Thai GF almost daily cooks delicious food for me (sometime we dine out), gives me birthday present and birthday cake, and small gifts now and then – the small ongoing surprises like bringing ice cream or crispy pork home or..., matters more than birthdays – and of course chocolate and roses for Valentines Day and make up the bed...

wDSC06688_valentine(600x450).jpg

...but perhaps I'm just lucky..?

That picture is so romantic and I would melt if my girl did that for me!

[tails]

Happy birthday buddy!

[Rayk]

Thai women are great at RECEIVING but not good at GIVING.

IMHO.

Speak for yourself.

You're obviously meeting the wrong girls.

[seancbk]

Last year for my birthday my fiancee bought me a Kawasaki Ninja 650 and yesterday she bought me a Toyota Yaris just because it's so damn hot these days.

Because she doesn't like you anymore?

Hahaha!

[Morakot]

I mentioned would have been nice if you thought to get a present or a card

Giving a birthday card to someone whom you live with is definitely not a Thai thing.

But you could tell her that it's important to you. Take her to a mall and show her the range of modern birthday cards she can buy for around ฿100.

[steveyinasia]

Been together 10 years and always get a small gift for my birthday, I don't really make a fuss over anything around birthdays. Organises the dinner with friends or a weekend away, location not known to me until I get to the airport. We don't go over the top, however, the occasion is celebrated to mutual levels most years.

[oxo1947]

Kenny202

Stop asking why she keeps doing it

& start to asking why you keep allowing it.

People Only Do What You Allow Them to do.........................

[sead]

Sorry but the feelings is one way.

[Morakot]

Birthdays are not much of a big deal to adult Thai people.

True!

I knew a Thai lady who as a child did not even know the day when her father was born. The father, with whom she had a close connection, always lived with her and her mother in the same house and they were a normal middle-class family. It was only later as a teenager that she "found out" her father's birthday through seeing some legal documents. Her own birthday however was "celebrated" as a child, by her parents giving some small presents to her.

Edited May 18, 2016 by Morakot

[neeray]

My Thai wife and I always reciprocate. It would be hard for either one of us to forget the occasion as they are only 7 days apart. Not mentioned by anybody here but she tells me that birthdays are not heavily celebrated by Thais.

Gotta feel for the OP. He sounds like he has it ruff.

[D3030]

Birthday today. No cake, no present no nothing. Now I never make a fuss about these things and truth be told I don't really give a rats. I was actually shocked she even remembered. Done a lot for this lady...always thoughtful. Take care of nearly everything which a lot is my fault. I cook 98% of the time and she's never bothered to learn to cook anything apart from her own limited food. She doesn't even seem to want to do that anymore. If I indicate I don't feel like cooking she either suggests we eat out or she's not hungry. Definitely the most selfish person I ever met. Thinks she's awesome too. Asked her a few times what she thinks she does for me...."I'm careful not spend ur money" and "I'm live with you everyday". Pretty poor.

Anyway, more fool me of course. I didn't think it was the culture here about gifts etc but seems to be a big deal on her birthday. I stopped worrying about giving her anything a year ago. So mid morning I mentioned would have been nice if you thought to get a present or a card. Then the Thai BS starts flowing...I didnt know what to buy you". "I make plan go shop sell my gold buy you present today. I should have held her to that. At least she had a plan for dinner. "You (me) can make your favourite Chinese food". It really is that bad and to be honest tiring of it. On the positive she's not a money grubber and is thrifty with the spending and we don't support her parents.

Done everything to try and teach her about mutual caring etc but if it's not there it's not there.

Definitely is all about her though.

<deleted>! No birthday cake on your birthday?

How old are you.....

10 years old??

Happy Birthday!!

[mikiea]

Last year for my birthday my fiancee bought me a Kawasaki Ninja 650 and yesterday she bought me a Toyota Yaris just because it's so damn hot these days.

and then your eyes opened and the first yawn of the day squeaked out ...........

[highland]

Yes lots of times. This year she asked me what I wanted and I told her a g shock watch. Sent her the picture and got the watch.

[NoshowJones]

I do not want my birthday celebrated, or given any gifts, for me it's a time for mourning, as the years are passing by. I don't think Mrs Possum even knows when my birthday is, I certainly do not

know when hers is.

Adults celebrating birthdays?? Everybody has one every year, celebrating is for when you achieve something, promotion at work, graduating from college, getting a new job, etc, etc.

[Guitar God]

I get flowers on Valentine's Day, one birthday I got a big framed photo of us for the house but she usually gives me gold. She always takes me and some friends out to eat for my birthday.

She's very close to her parents but they only get gifts on King and Queen day, nothing on their actual birthdays. I don't think birthdays are a big gift giving day for Thais, I think most just go out to eat.

[chilli42]

My relationship with my wife is quite different. Though like you, I don't get birthday presents. However, out of the blue she buys something crazy expensive that she likes on me.

My general experience in this area is the everyone's expectations and needs in a realationship are very different. These differences will come into sharper focus with time as both parties get confident/comfortable in the relationship. In the past, my answer to your situation is simply to tell the lady in question this is not working and make arrangements for going our own way. Sounds selfish but ask yourself, how happy are you and how different would life be if your partner was a match for you. Everyone deserves a shot at being happy. Admit you made a mistake and move on. I can assure you there are plenty of Thai girls out there who will be a good match with you ... just take your time.