25-year-old student with 40-year-old Thai lady in Chiang Mai

[BrainLife]

I just saw the headline in the newsletter and did not read 1 word from the OP or any replies.

NOBODY cares, only you. Enjoy or not

According to the headline, you are just a TOYBOY for a rich elder Thai lady, and you know it, SO stay sexy and young, because you will be replaced.

[chicowoodduck]

If your older love is Thai...will only be a matter of time before the yogurt hits the fan....?

[smotherb]

i am in my 40's now and i would not consider a gf much over 30.

if i look at women 10 years older than me (50ish) errr

well lets just keep it civil and say ..NAH thanks

rofl, here cums hunsum thai visa man.

I am really puzzled where do certain men get such arrogance and think that the age difference is a one way street.

My god, women in Thailand must be so different because they all desire fat drunk smelly farang over the age of 40

The delusion reigns on this forum and real life unfortunately.

I don't think you get it.

Within men, the demand for young women is greater than the demand for old women—that new car smell, you know.

In Thailand, supply of young women without money is greater than the supply of farangs with money—whether or not you add “old-drunk-fat-smelly” to the farang mix.

It's simply a matter of supply and demand.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

You say there is a 6 year old child from a previous relationship involved.And one comment was that you dont know what sort of 'gem' you could be raising.

i wouldn't worry too much about that.At six years old(and at 6 she isnt even a citizen yet) you would have plenty of years with her to make her into something that you could be very proud of.I assume that you and your girlfriend have discussed this,and as long as she is prepared to allow you to share the upbringing of the girl,with your Western ways and values she could be an asset to you both in the future.i think its better,a girl.There's also the 'Daddy, daughter' thing,that is a wonderful situation.I do speak from experience,i have a daughter of 30,and that feeling has never gone away.

This is all very well,of course as long as you are going to be a long time stayer,you cant let a child grow to love you and then just run away,then she could be a real problem.

You do sound a bit naive and maybe young in mind.Your decision should be made quickly,to stop heart ache all round.

If you are going to do things that a man does,first of all,you need to be a man.

Good luck,i wish you all the best.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

i am in my 40's now and i would not consider a gf much over 30.

if i look at women 10 years older than me (50ish) errr

well lets just keep it civil and say ..NAH thanks

rofl, here cums hunsum thai visa man.

I am really puzzled where do certain men get such arrogance and think that the age difference is a one way street.

My god, women in Thailand must be so different because they all desire fat drunk smelly farang over the age of 40

The delusion reigns on this forum and real life unfortunately.

I don't think you get it.

Within men, the demand for young women is greater than the demand for old women—that new car smell, you know.

In Thailand, supply of young women without money is greater than the supply of farangs with money—whether or not you add “old-drunk-fat-smelly” to the farang mix.

It's simply a matter of supply and demand.

No, I understand supply and demand perfectly and thank you for validating my point.

Basically, the only women in Thailand that will tolerate old unhygienic Westerners are the ones desperate for money. Just like I exploit Thailand for a cheap foot massage, the old Westerner will exploit women for sex. However, when I do get a foot massage I am well aware that I am paying for the service and there is very little chance I will get it for free.... unless there is a 2 for 1 promotion. Yet, the old guy who is using a prostitute will come on Thai Visa and say "well, let's just keep it civil and say, no thanks to women over 50".

I am just wondering how much respect you must have for your own mum... but I'll keep it civil and not go there.

[balo]

As long as you look Asian you don't have to worry. You will not be judged by Thais. Maybe you even can pay normal prices in national parks here. No discrimiation, lucky you

Edited July 26, 2016 by balo

[mikiea]

1. Not common, although I see young men with older hookers all the time.

2. Everyone will think she's a hooker and you're a naive fool. In fairness, they think that about almost any foreigner that dates a Thai girl, so welcome to the party.

3. Anyone who is vaguely related to her will ask you for money.

Quoth the speed-reader who completely overlooked, "I am an Asian American who was born in California. Looks-wise, I pass for Thai."

dear god no one wants to hear you ask stupid child like questions . man up a little , stop being a himbo . sheeeeze

[Falconator]

You say there is a 6 year old child from a previous relationship involved.And one comment was that you dont know what sort of 'gem' you could be raising.

i wouldn't worry too much about that.At six years old(and at 6 she isnt even a citizen yet) you would have plenty of years with her to make her into something that you could be very proud of.I assume that you and your girlfriend have discussed this,and as long as she is prepared to allow you to share the upbringing of the girl,with your Western ways and values she could be an asset to you both in the future.i think its better,a girl.There's also the 'Daddy, daughter' thing,that is a wonderful situation.I do speak from experience,i have a daughter of 30,and that feeling has never gone away.

This is all very well,of course as long as you are going to be a long time stayer,you cant let a child grow to love you and then just run away,then she could be a real problem.

You do sound a bit naive and maybe young in mind.Your decision should be made quickly,to stop heart ache all round.

If you are going to do things that a man does,first of all,you need to be a man.

Good luck,i wish you all the best.

How do I need to be a man? I've decided that I want to be with her and commit to her and her daughter. I did the man-stuff already.

I've mentioned in my previous posts that the daughter and I are very, very attached to each other.

As long as you look Asian you don't have to worry. You will not be judged by Thais. Maybe you even can pay normal prices in national parks here. No discrimiation, lucky you

Yes, I do pay local prices.

[petermik]

Go ahead and make your own decisions based upon how you feel at this time,maybe in ten years time when you are older and hopefully wiser you will understand the reasoning behind many of the replies on here and agree with them,life is a learning curve and sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

Enjoy your relationship for as long as your happy....

[djlest]

be very careful...

i met mine when i was 26 and she was 36 - was fine back then we both looked about the same age as she looked younger.

nowdays im almost 40 and she is almost 50... it aint so fun anymore.... she is showing her age and im longing for a younger model that doesnt have, lets say menopause issues.
However love knows no limits... love will keep you together but you will definitely think about wandering off the straight and narrow.

[Rc2702]

I saw this post a few days ago and have been thinking about it.

Love is blind and my question is this.

If you are in love with this women then why are you even asking such questions 6 months into your relationship surely 6 months in your as buoyant as the first month. 2 years down the line maybe but 6 months and you speak thai fluently so you do not have the language barriers and misunderstandings most have on here. Things should be getting stronger and you should be strong enough in mind to answer your own questions. Clingy you say well who can blame her your:

25

Speak thai

Have USA passport. Your an American.

Your potentially here for a limited time

You study where many younger women study.

Some other posters say it best. Live for now but on the same note ask yourself are you really in it for the long haul because a child is involved and whilst I commend your brave "not the norm" approach I cannot help but wonder if perhaps your experiences with younger ladies has led you to a safer haven. This may be very hard on the woman in question even a year or two down the line. Not all young ladies are dramatic like you say and certainly not all thai hooker speak English I mean thai hookers the majority of them are reliant on thai men not foreigners as their main source of income.

If you act older than 25 and do not resonate well with peers your own age then it's a no brainer and who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you are happy and content.

Good Luck.

[connda]

Have fun if it floats your boat. Thais will think it's unusual, but really, who cares. Don't pay sinsot if you plan to married. She's 'used goods' in the marriage market. How much acceptance will you get from the family? Play your 'farang' card there my man. We foreigners are assumed to be a little 'strange.' Play that to your advantage. But watch the 'clinginess' that you spoke about. You're 25? My guess is you'll eventually find the pasture is greener elsewhere. Jealousy + Thai can equal 'serious bodily injury or death' is you get my drift. Trust me kid, you have a lot to learn. I speak from experience and as one who can still vividly remember who I was at 25 years old. But I've dated women my age, 15 years my senior, and 15 years my junior. Over time I've found I prefer the ones closer to my own age. Enjoy!

[Falconator]

Have fun if it floats your boat. Thais will think it's unusual, but really, who cares. Don't pay sinsot if you plan to married. She's 'used goods' in the marriage market. How much acceptance will you get from the family? Play your 'farang' card there my man. We foreigners are assumed to be a little 'strange.' Play that to your advantage. But watch the 'clinginess' that you spoke about. You're 25? My guess is you'll eventually find the pasture is greener elsewhere. Jealousy + Thai can equal 'serious bodily injury or death' is you get my drift. Trust me kid, you have a lot to learn. I speak from experience and as one who can still vividly remember who I was at 25 years old. But I've dated women my age, 15 years my senior, and 15 years my junior. Over time I've found I prefer the ones closer to my own age. Enjoy!

I've talked about this with her before. She does not expect a sinsot. All she hopes is for me to be with her and her daughter and not suddenly dump her.

The family will definitely accept me. I've met her younger sisters and they think I'm a cool guy.

And yes, I do know all about the penis cutting stories. "Tat ting" is what they say.

She told me that normally Thais will all think that she is the one chasing me, not the other way around. This is what Asians think when they see Younger Asian boy + Older Asian woman.

I'm in a funny gray zone between being a Farang and a Thai. Most of the time Thais don't call me Farang since I look like and can think like a Thai, but in some contexts, they call me Farang since they know I'm from America.

If you are in love with this women then why are you even asking such questions 6 months into your relationship surely 6 months in your as buoyant as the first month. 2 years down the line maybe but 6 months and you speak thai fluently so you do not have the language barriers and misunderstandings most have on here. Things should be getting stronger and you should be strong enough in mind to answer your own questions. Clingy you say well who can blame her your:

25

Speak thai

Have USA passport. Your an American.

Your potentially here for a limited time

You study where many younger women study.

Some other posters say it best. Live for now but on the same note ask yourself are you really in it for the long haul because a child is involved and whilst I commend your brave "not the norm" approach I cannot help but wonder if perhaps your experiences with younger ladies has led you to a safer haven. This may be very hard on the woman in question even a year or two down the line. Not all young ladies are dramatic like you say and certainly not all thai hooker speak English I mean thai hookers the majority of them are reliant on thai men not foreigners as their main source of income.

If you act older than 25 and do not resonate well with peers your own age then it's a no brainer and who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you are happy and content.

Good Luck.

Things are indeed going very strong and I am indeed trying to answer my own questions, but it doesn't hurt to get input from other expats, some of whom have been in Thailand for decades. I've been in Thailand for only about 1 year.

I am indeed surrounded by young Chiang Mai pretties at my school, who are considered by Thais to be some of the most beautiful women in the country. But they're mostly spoiled hi-so brats who are a real pain in the neck to deal with long-term.

You guys keep saying I might eventually want to trade her for a younger woman. But I keep ending up dating older women, not because I'm looking for them on purpose but because they somehow keep ending up with me.

What exactly do you mean by, "experiences with younger ladies has led you to a safer haven."

I just never really got along with my peers beyond being superficial acquaintances. Some of you older guys might have a bit of trouble imagining what it takes to fit in as a youth now. It means having to fit into a lot of dumb high-school-like cliques, social media cliques, social media mind games, flakiness, lack of real social connection, vapid social acquaintances, selfish me-me mentality, smartphone addiction, and all that nonsense. Things aren't that simple anymore for millenials. I envy the 1980's and earlier decades when young people could have more normal, more human interactions.

If you're an older guy dating a younger girl, you're not expected with put up with any of this BS because they see you as from a different generation. But I'm expected to totally fit into all this BS because I'm a young Asian guy. If you don't, you're out. You can get to know many people but you won't be able to crack into youth social circles, and thus will have more trouble dating girls your own age. Being able to crack into social circles is usually a prerequisite for getting into the university dating scene, so you're out if you don't fit in with their superficial culture.

My classmates are not flirty Isan women from the rice paddies. They are bratty upper-middle-class Chiang Mai pretties who speak Thai with a very nasal, whiny accent and can't go anywhere without their phones. Yes they are cute, but how long do you think someone like me can stand being with one of them?

My girlfriend was born in 1975. It was a different planet back then. Many older Asians are very authentic and easy to talk to, but there's just something weird going on with the younger generation. They can be so superficial, selfish, and zombie-like. You see this generational gap going on in all the industrialized Asian countries like Singapore, Taiwan, South Korea, and Japan too. Has anyone noticed this as well?

Edited July 26, 2016 by Falconator

[puukao]

since you asked an insecure question, I worry. This is millennial thinking. In the Western world I had a "friend" who was 21 and I was 30 and it just felt wrong. Yea, we had some fun for a few months; however, I knew it would almost certainly fail. Why? I'm out of grad school, already made 100,000 in one-year and realizing life is more than money. Besides, after taxes and buying dumb cars, I'm broke anyhow....I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon (using a contemporary reference). I'm thinking about being in my 30's while she is looking for the next bar to visit with friends on the weekends. See what I mean? Yes, you can be different, but not with your original question.

My feeling is she represents something stable, which you desire. She wants youth, which you have. Maybe you had issues with your mom? I have really no idea if that stuff is true.....

So, look inside and ask the hard questions....If she couldn't help you stay in Thailand, still love her? If she was poor, is there love? What if you do nothing with your life for the next 20-years.....is that OK to her and you? When I say "nothing" I really only mean money. I think it's a bad way to think, but I'm just putting it all out in the open...

only you know....and i have a feeling you already have the answer.

[anotheruser]

1. Still not common.

2. Doesn't matter. People will still think it.

3. I was kinda joking about that last one (all three of em really).

1. No prob, I like bucking the trend and being unique.

2. No, I guess some folks think it might actually be the other way around. She says that some Thais might think she wants to "kin dek" (eat young guys).

One friend teased us warm-heartedly that I'm so close to her because we're like mother and son (luukchai gap mae).

We don't look like this, which probably characterizes around half of all ThaiVisa forum members.

We look more like the following.

We don't get stares and nothing looks strange unless people take a really close look. Same with the couple above if they were to walk down a street holding hands in any Western country.

How would anyone think that younger guy met the older lady in the pic because she was a hooker? That's only for pic #1 that.

Well since you put it that way.... If you look Thai, speak Thai and don't look out of place like 50% of Thaivisa, why the hell are you asking us? Why don't you take your exceptional Thai skills and ability to fit in.... to ask Thais what they think?

[Falconator]

since you asked an insecure question, I worry. This is millennial thinking. In the Western world I had a "friend" who was 21 and I was 30 and it just felt wrong. Yea, we had some fun for a few months; however, I knew it would almost certainly fail. Why? I'm out of grad school, already made 100,000 in one-year and realizing life is more than money. Besides, after taxes and buying dumb cars, I'm broke anyhow....I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon (using a contemporary reference). I'm thinking about being in my 30's while she is looking for the next bar to visit with friends on the weekends. See what I mean? Yes, you can be different, but not with your original question.

My feeling is she represents something stable, which you desire. She wants youth, which you have. Maybe you had issues with your mom? I have really no idea if that stuff is true.....

So, look inside and ask the hard questions....If she couldn't help you stay in Thailand, still love her? If she was poor, is there love? What if you do nothing with your life for the next 20-years.....is that OK to her and you? When I say "nothing" I really only mean money. I think it's a bad way to think, but I'm just putting it all out in the open...

"I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon" is how I relate to girls my own age.

She is looking for a good guy who can accept her and her daughter, and does not necessarily need youth. But now that I've entered her life, I'm not sure if she can stand being with an old guy after this.

And yes, you guessed right - I did have an abusive mother who has already passed away. Maybe this influenced some of my subconscious decisions or preferences. Anyways I won't whine about my own problems.

Some TV members seem to project their own problems and insecurities onto me. I'm not that way, just to let you know.

I am also now asking Thais for their advice, but like I said, it doesn't hurt to ask Western expats who have been in Thailand for decades and have had loads of experience.

[GOLDBUGGY]

I would say your relationship is rare in Thailand and as it is in the USA.

I would think that Older Men would think you a bit foolish for being this relationship while Older Women would envy your Girlfriend. Younger Women would think they could steel you away from her, and Younger Men could care less what you do, except if she is paying the Bills then why not? If it makes you feel better you would get about the same reaction if these roles were reversed and you were the Older Man instead. Except the reactions would be reversed also, where Older Women now thinking you are foolish and Older Men being in envy.

If I was you I probably wouldn't have gotten involved in a close relationship with her, although nobody says we couldn't be friends, and who knows what can happen after that. But if you are happy with this relationship and so is she, then who cares what I think also. More than 50% of relationships fall apart, so if you can keep yours together and be happy, then age difference doesn't really count.

[Berkshire]

Thanks for all your interesting responses and stories. Thumbs up to all the guys who were willing to buck the trend.

But just curious--have you always been interested in older women, even back home? I envy guys like you that find older women attractive. If I were interested in older women, I'd have the pick of the litter. Not just in Thailand, but in the west as well.

Yes. Because I find it harder to deal with bratty millenials who are my own age.

Interesting. Most men value physical attractiveness above all else (at least initially) and young females are almost always more attractive than older females. I admit that I have a particular weakness for hot, young, nubile females. These attractive young females know that they're sought after and have more options, so may tend to have more of an attitude. Older females--especially those with children--have fewer options and tend to be less selective and more receptive and reasonable. I'm wondering if this is what you perceive as "bratty"....?

[Falconator]

Interesting. Most men value physical attractiveness above all else (at least initially) and young females are almost always more attractive than older females. I admit that I have a particular weakness for hot, young, nubile females. These attractive young females know that they're sought after and have more options, so may tend to have more of an attitude. Older females--especially those with children--have fewer options and tend to be less selective and more receptive and reasonable. I'm wondering if this is what you perceive as "bratty"....?

No, brattiness is far more than just having more options. It's also about being part of the selfish, arrogant, tech-addicted me-me 21st-century generation.

I think we all know that in developed countries, women born in the 1990's vs. women born in the 1960's are like day and night.

[Dmaxdan]

About 20 years ago I had a relationship in my native UK with a Thai women who was 11 years older than me. We were 28 and 40. It was great for a time and lasted about a year.

We split up but remained friends, and through her I met my current Thai wife who is three years my senior. No young ones for me.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[puukao]

since you asked an insecure question, I worry. This is millennial thinking. In the Western world I had a "friend" who was 21 and I was 30 and it just felt wrong. Yea, we had some fun for a few months; however, I knew it would almost certainly fail. Why? I'm out of grad school, already made 100,000 in one-year and realizing life is more than money. Besides, after taxes and buying dumb cars, I'm broke anyhow....I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon (using a contemporary reference). I'm thinking about being in my 30's while she is looking for the next bar to visit with friends on the weekends. See what I mean? Yes, you can be different, but not with your original question.

My feeling is she represents something stable, which you desire. She wants youth, which you have. Maybe you had issues with your mom? I have really no idea if that stuff is true.....

So, look inside and ask the hard questions....If she couldn't help you stay in Thailand, still love her? If she was poor, is there love? What if you do nothing with your life for the next 20-years.....is that OK to her and you? When I say "nothing" I really only mean money. I think it's a bad way to think, but I'm just putting it all out in the open...

"I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon" is how I relate to girls my own age.

She is looking for a good guy who can accept her and her daughter, and does not necessarily need youth. But now that I've entered her life, I'm not sure if she can stand being with an old guy after this.

And yes, you guessed right - I did have an abusive mother who has already passed away. Maybe this influenced some of my subconscious decisions or preferences. Anyways I won't whine about my own problems.

Some TV members seem to project their own problems and insecurities onto me. I'm not that way, just to let you know.

I am also now asking Thais for their advice, but like I said, it doesn't hurt to ask Western expats who have been in Thailand for decades and have had loads of experience.

oh i definitely have insecurities and didn't mean to project them..i'm sure it's done in its subconscious.

i wish you no ill will, just throwing things out......

[Falconator]

oh i definitely have insecurities and didn't mean to project them..i'm sure it's done in its subconscious.

i wish you no ill will, just throwing things out......

No problems, I am already quite used to "cranky old white ThaiVisa men" syndrome. Not picking on you but just saying that's what this forum is like.

Google "low testosterone symptoms" and you'll see.

[eldragon]

"I'm reading philosophy, she is looking for pokemon" is how I relate to girls my own age.

She is looking for a good guy who can accept her and her daughter, and does not necessarily need youth. But now that I've entered her life, I'm not sure if she can stand being with an old guy after this.

Maybe you should just be patient and try to find a more mature girl that is closer to your age. I know it's hard to believe since most Thai girls come across as 15 until they're 40, but it's true. Especially among your generation. I meet tons of em here in BKK. In fact, I usually date Thai girls that are too young for me b/c girls my age are just too conservative and lack intellect.

Anyway, you might feel more secure about the relationship if the ages match up. But I wouldn't over analyze it. If you feel good with this girl, then carry on and don't worry what other people might think. And no one said a relationship has to last forever. People are gonna come and go in your life.

Btw, if you're a good guy, then you're always gonna think a girl from a less developed nation will never do better than you. That's normal, but what happens after you is not your responsibility, unless you've led a girl to believe you'll support her forever or something.

[Falconator]

Maybe you should just be patient and try to find a more mature girl that is closer to your age. I know it's hard to believe since most Thai girls come across as 15 until they're 40, but it's true. Especially among your generation. I meet tons of em here in BKK. In fact, I usually date Thai girls that are too young for me b/c girls my age are just too conservative and lack intellect.

Anyway, you might feel more secure about the relationship if the ages match up. But I wouldn't over analyze it. If you feel good with this girl, then carry on and don't worry what other people might think. And no one said a relationship has to last forever. People are gonna come and go in your life.

Btw, if you're a good guy, then you're always gonna think a girl from a less developed nation will never do better than you. That's normal, but what happens after you is not your responsibility, unless you've led a girl to believe you'll support her forever or something.

Mature girls my age are quite hard to find nowadays. My girl is constantly talking about how lazy, unable, irresponsible, and arrogant her 22-year-old daughter is. This phenomenon is going on throughout all of the developed world. She tried raising her well, but peer pressure can be a much stronger influence on youths than well-meaning parenting. Forget about cooking, cleaning, alcohol abstinence, financial responsibility, patience, morals, and all of that. My girlfriend can do all of those and has those qualities, but not her daughter. So do most students at my university.

Young Burmese women seem to be the exception. Very conservative, un-Westernized societies have so far avoided having their most of their youth corrupted.

How old are you, and how old is your girl?

Edited July 28, 2016 by Falconator

[petermik]

Mature girls my age are quite hard to find nowadays. My girl is constantly talking about how lazy, unable, irresponsible, and arrogant her 22-year-old daughter is. This phenomenon is going on throughout all of the developed world. She tried raising her well, but peer pressure can be a much stronger influence on youths than well-meaning parenting. Forget about cooking, cleaning, alcohol abstinence, financial responsibility, patience, morals, and all of that. My girlfriend can do all of those and has those qualities, but not her daughter. So do most students at my university.

Young Burmese women seem to be the exception. Very conservative, un-Westernized societies have so far avoided having their most of their youth corrupted.

How old are you, and how old is your girl?

So your girlfriend already has friction with her daughter,and sadly you are in the middle of this,at some point you will be asked to take sides....do you really need this aggravation in your young life? and never forget family loyalty comes first for 99% of thais no matter what

enjoy it for as long as its good,when the veneer starts to fade walk away..

[smotherb]

i am in my 40's now and i would not consider a gf much over 30.

if i look at women 10 years older than me (50ish) errr

well lets just keep it civil and say ..NAH thanks

rofl, here cums hunsum thai visa man.

I am really puzzled where do certain men get such arrogance and think that the age difference is a one way street.

My god, women in Thailand must be so different because they all desire fat drunk smelly farang over the age of 40

The delusion reigns on this forum and real life unfortunately.

I don't think you get it.

Within men, the demand for young women is greater than the demand for old women—that new car smell, you know.

In Thailand, supply of young women without money is greater than the supply of farangs with money—whether or not you add “old-drunk-fat-smelly” to the farang mix.

It's simply a matter of supply and demand.

No, I understand supply and demand perfectly and thank you for validating my point.

Basically, the only women in Thailand that will tolerate old unhygienic Westerners are the ones desperate for money. Just like I exploit Thailand for a cheap foot massage, the old Westerner will exploit women for sex. However, when I do get a foot massage I am well aware that I am paying for the service and there is very little chance I will get it for free.... unless there is a 2 for 1 promotion. Yet, the old guy who is using a prostitute will come on Thai Visa and say "well, let's just keep it civil and say, no thanks to women over 50".

I am just wondering how much respect you must have for your own mum... but I'll keep it civil and not go there.

It appears you get nothing. I have validated nothing you said.

It is neither only old unhygienic westerners who covet young Thai women nor are the only Thai women who tolerate old unhygienic westerners the truly desperate ones. By Asian standards, and by mine, many farangs are unhygienic; I smell them every day. However, there are many Thai women who are not desperate, but who are well-educated and self-sufficient and who are not and were not prostitutes, but who actually fall in love with farangs; some, no doubt, old and unhygienic.

However, there are also many Thai women who have farang "husbands" at home, or away working, and they still seek farang customers even though they have been given house, car, money, family support and the lot by the farang "husband". They too, I posit, are not desperate; they simply believe in using that marvelous product they possess--the one women have, they sell it, but they still have it.

With the good supply of young Thai women, why would you be surprised at "no thanks to women over 50"? Do you also fail to understand that, if given the choice, most men would choose a younger woman?

And, you have really gone overboard by somehow associating my mother in all this. You must be severely compromised.

[Falconator]

Mature girls my age are quite hard to find nowadays. My girl is constantly talking about how lazy, unable, irresponsible, and arrogant her 22-year-old daughter is. This phenomenon is going on throughout all of the developed world. She tried raising her well, but peer pressure can be a much stronger influence on youths than well-meaning parenting. Forget about cooking, cleaning, alcohol abstinence, financial responsibility, patience, morals, and all of that. My girlfriend can do all of those and has those qualities, but not her daughter. So do most students at my university.

Young Burmese women seem to be the exception. Very conservative, un-Westernized societies have so far avoided having their most of their youth corrupted.

How old are you, and how old is your girl?

So your girlfriend already has friction with her daughter,and sadly you are in the middle of this,at some point you will be asked to take sides....do you really need this aggravation in your young life? and never forget family loyalty comes first for 99% of thais no matter what

enjoy it for as long as its good,when the veneer starts to fade walk away..

No she's basically out of the picture, independent, and they rarely communicate or keep in touch with each other.

Have had no problems so far and don't expect any coming up. In my view there's nothing that could really go wrong. The older daughter simply doesn't care about her mom's life, choices, or living situation.

[eldragon]

Maybe you should just be patient and try to find a more mature girl that is closer to your age. I know it's hard to believe since most Thai girls come across as 15 until they're 40, but it's true. Especially among your generation. I meet tons of em here in BKK. In fact, I usually date Thai girls that are too young for me b/c girls my age are just too conservative and lack intellect.

Anyway, you might feel more secure about the relationship if the ages match up. But I wouldn't over analyze it. If you feel good with this girl, then carry on and don't worry what other people might think. And no one said a relationship has to last forever. People are gonna come and go in your life.

Btw, if you're a good guy, then you're always gonna think a girl from a less developed nation will never do better than you. That's normal, but what happens after you is not your responsibility, unless you've led a girl to believe you'll support her forever or something.

Mature girls my age are quite hard to find nowadays. My girl is constantly talking about how lazy, unable, irresponsible, and arrogant her 22-year-old daughter is. This phenomenon is going on throughout all of the developed world. She tried raising her well, but peer pressure can be a much stronger influence on youths than well-meaning parenting. Forget about cooking, cleaning, alcohol abstinence, financial responsibility, patience, morals, and all of that. My girlfriend can do all of those and has those qualities, but not her daughter. So do most students at my university.

Young Burmese women seem to be the exception. Very conservative, un-Westernized societies have so far avoided having their most of their youth corrupted.

How old are you, and how old is your girl?

Older than you. And I don't have a girl at the moment. But most of em have been in their twenties. Believe it or not, I'd like to have a girl closer to my age, but younger Thai girls are more curious and not as afraid to speak their mind.

Where are you again? Up north somewhere? Might not be as easy to find progressive young women in the less populated areas of Thailand, but trust me they are out there. Really shouldn't be a problem for you to meet them given your language skills are up to snuff and you look Thai. For most of us, the biggest challenges are the language barrier and the apparent embarrassment Thai girls feel around white foreigners.

Whatever you noticed about Burmese women and women from more conservative societies says more about Thai culture than it does about corrupted youth. In fact, I would say people from other nations in the region think more like us despite their apparent lack of development. Thais as a whole tend to act immature and usually don't like to discuss serious or intellectual matters.

[connda]

Have fun if it floats your boat. Thais will think it's unusual, but really, who cares. Don't pay sinsot if you plan to married. She's 'used goods' in the marriage market. How much acceptance will you get from the family? Play your 'farang' card there my man. We foreigners are assumed to be a little 'strange.' Play that to your advantage. But watch the 'clinginess' that you spoke about. You're 25? My guess is you'll eventually find the pasture is greener elsewhere. Jealousy + Thai can equal 'serious bodily injury or death' is you get my drift. Trust me kid, you have a lot to learn. I speak from experience and as one who can still vividly remember who I was at 25 years old. But I've dated women my age, 15 years my senior, and 15 years my junior. Over time I've found I prefer the ones closer to my own age. Enjoy!

I've talked about this with her before. She does not expect a sinsot. All she hopes is for me to be with her and her daughter and not suddenly dump her.

The family will definitely accept me. I've met her younger sisters and they think I'm a cool guy.

And yes, I do know all about the penis cutting stories. "Tat ting" is what they say.

She told me that normally Thais will all think that she is the one chasing me, not the other way around. This is what Asians think when they see Younger Asian boy + Older Asian woman.

I'm in a funny gray zone between being a Farang and a Thai. Most of the time Thais don't call me Farang since I look like and can think like a Thai, but in some contexts, they call me Farang since they know I'm from America.

If you are in love with this women then why are you even asking such questions 6 months into your relationship surely 6 months in your as buoyant as the first month. 2 years down the line maybe but 6 months and you speak thai fluently so you do not have the language barriers and misunderstandings most have on here. Things should be getting stronger and you should be strong enough in mind to answer your own questions. Clingy you say well who can blame her your:

25

Speak thai

Have USA passport. Your an American.

Your potentially here for a limited time

You study where many younger women study.

Some other posters say it best. Live for now but on the same note ask yourself are you really in it for the long haul because a child is involved and whilst I commend your brave "not the norm" approach I cannot help but wonder if perhaps your experiences with younger ladies has led you to a safer haven. This may be very hard on the woman in question even a year or two down the line. Not all young ladies are dramatic like you say and certainly not all thai hooker speak English I mean thai hookers the majority of them are reliant on thai men not foreigners as their main source of income.

If you act older than 25 and do not resonate well with peers your own age then it's a no brainer and who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you are happy and content.

Good Luck.

Things are indeed going very strong and I am indeed trying to answer my own questions, but it doesn't hurt to get input from other expats, some of whom have been in Thailand for decades. I've been in Thailand for only about 1 year.

I am indeed surrounded by young Chiang Mai pretties at my school, who are considered by Thais to be some of the most beautiful women in the country. But they're mostly spoiled hi-so brats who are a real pain in the neck to deal with long-term.

You guys keep saying I might eventually want to trade her for a younger woman. But I keep ending up dating older women, not because I'm looking for them on purpose but because they somehow keep ending up with me.

What exactly do you mean by, "experiences with younger ladies has led you to a safer haven."

I just never really got along with my peers beyond being superficial acquaintances. Some of you older guys might have a bit of trouble imagining what it takes to fit in as a youth now. It means having to fit into a lot of dumb high-school-like cliques, social media cliques, social media mind games, flakiness, lack of real social connection, vapid social acquaintances, selfish me-me mentality, smartphone addiction, and all that nonsense. Things aren't that simple anymore for millenials. I envy the 1980's and earlier decades when young people could have more normal, more human interactions.

If you're an older guy dating a younger girl, you're not expected with put up with any of this BS because they see you as from a different generation. But I'm expected to totally fit into all this BS because I'm a young Asian guy. If you don't, you're out. You can get to know many people but you won't be able to crack into youth social circles, and thus will have more trouble dating girls your own age. Being able to crack into social circles is usually a prerequisite for getting into the university dating scene, so you're out if you don't fit in with their superficial culture.

My classmates are not flirty Isan women from the rice paddies. They are bratty upper-middle-class Chiang Mai pretties who speak Thai with a very nasal, whiny accent and can't go anywhere without their phones. Yes they are cute, but how long do you think someone like me can stand being with one of them?

My girlfriend was born in 1975. It was a different planet back then. Many older Asians are very authentic and easy to talk to, but there's just something weird going on with the younger generation. They can be so superficial, selfish, and zombie-like. You see this generational gap going on in all the industrialized Asian countries like Singapore, Taiwan, South Korea, and Japan too. Has anyone noticed this as well?

I just never really got along with my peers beyond being superficial acquaintances. Some of you older guys might have a bit of trouble imagining what it takes to fit in as a youth now. It means having to fit into a lot of dumb high-school-like cliques, social media cliques, social media mind games, flakiness, lack of real social connection, vapid social acquaintances, selfish me-me mentality, smartphone addiction, and all that nonsense. Things aren't that simple anymore for millenials. I envy the 1980's and earlier decades when young people could have more normal, more human interactions.

Ahhh your my type of kid. To paraphrase Obama, "If I had a son, he's be like Falonator." Breaking the mold. I like you already. You'll do just fine.

[connda]

1. Still not common.

2. Doesn't matter. People will still think it.

3. I was kinda joking about that last one (all three of em really).

1. No prob, I like bucking the trend and being unique.

2. No, I guess some folks think it might actually be the other way around. She says that some Thais might think she wants to "kin dek" (eat young guys).

One friend teased us warm-heartedly that I'm so close to her because we're like mother and son (luukchai gap mae).

We don't look like this, which probably characterizes around half of all ThaiVisa forum members.

We look more like the following.

We don't get stares and nothing looks strange unless people take a really close look. Same with the couple above if they were to walk down a street holding hands in any Western country.

How would anyone think that younger guy met the older lady in the pic because she was a hooker? That's only for pic #1 that.

Well since you put it that way.... If you look Thai, speak Thai and don't look out of place like 50% of Thaivisa, why the hell are you asking us? Why don't you take your exceptional Thai skills and ability to fit in.... to ask Thais what they think?

why the hell are you asking us?

Because he's 25 years old and this is one way that he gains knowledge that those of us 30 or 40 years his senior have gleaned though trial-and-error. He's a smart kid; he using his brain and asking for advice instead of stumbling though it alone. Personally, I can't fault that approach at all.

Edited July 29, 2016 by connda