That's why i think about to go back to Europe

[alocacoc]

If this topic is inappropriate, please delete it.

 

I stay now more than 8 Years in Thailand. As many of us know (at least me), it isn't that easy to find real friends.

 

My first best friend, he did a huge mistake. He got jailed and died there. Another guy got killed in a heavy motorcycle accident with his Harley. Next guy committed suicide. He drove with his motorcycle on high speed into a truck. And the last one, died because of acute liver failure. He started to drink after his GF deceased. Later i learned, he took also some medications. And now, a good friend which I meet regularly is suddenly disappeared. No telephone, no Line...nothing. We wanted meet the next day, but he didn't show up.  I have no clue what happen to him.

 

That's all somehow depressing and frustrating. I think about, if i had could do more to save the one or other life.

 

Just my thoughts.

[LennyW]

Ever think you might be a jinx?

[fatyank]

well you are a real mr sunshine

[Rimmer]

One post removed and topic moved to general as it is not Pattaya specific

[bmanly]

You are in the long term had enough ex pat mode. You have been unlucky with your friends passing on or disappearing but it's not always like that. Some of my close expat friends have been in Pattaya up to 28 years, full time, they manage their life differently.

 

Here are some ideas that keep them sane and fit. They have AFD's (alcohol free days), walk long distances for exercise, have a hobby like playing golf twice a week or some have got together with a long term non greedy decent lady that they love being with. They still love Pattaya, the bars, lifestyle so forth, yeah they have a whinge from time to time but they manage their health and sanity.

 

You mentioned finding "real friends", you are correct but they are out there. I have many, the ones that if they need help I will drop everything to help them. I have more real friends in Pattaya than what I do at home. I am currently not in Pattaya and I have a friend there who is not an ex pat but staying for a few Months at the moment. He is struggling with having "real friends" and the bar scene is driving him crazy, he even thought of going home early. I wish I was there to help him.

 

Hang in there, home is much worse and boring.............well it is for me anyway. Good Luck.

Edited August 15, 2016 by bmanly

[KittenKong]

I think that Thailand is entirely the wrong place to look for sincerity or friendship. Far too many greedy losers and scammers of all skin colours here for that.

[kannot]

1 hour ago, KittenKong said:

I think that Thailand is entirely the wrong place to look for sincerity or friendship. Far too many greedy losers and scammers of all skin colours here for that.

hard to find real friends anywhere but even more so here.

[joeyg]

2 hours ago, KittenKong said:

I think that Thailand is entirely the wrong place to look for sincerity or friendship. Far too many greedy losers and scammers of all skin colours here for that.

Sir I find your words succinct and profound.  I have had thoughts and observations about this phenomenon but nothing that comes close to the clarity and simplicity of your words.  It is as though I have had a sort of epiphany.  Thank you.  However I am still plagued by a question. Why?

[alocacoc]

9 hours ago, LennyW said:

Ever think you might be a jinx?

 

No, I'm not superstitiously. And I'm not religious.

[joeyg]

6 hours ago, alocacoc said:

 

No, I'm not superstitiously. And I'm not religious.

 

Well all of the things you talked about could have happened anywhere.  Even in Europe.  Right?

1 My first best friend, he did a huge mistake. He got jailed and died there.

Question.  Drugs, murder or what?

2 Next guy committed suicide.

Question.  Why?

3 He drove with his motorcycle on high speed into a truck. 

Question. On drugs, drunk or suicidal.

4 And the last one, died because of acute liver failure. He started to drink.

Question.  Just alcohol and medication or other street drugs too?

5 And now, a good friend which I meet regularly is suddenly disappeared. 

Question. Alcohol, drugs, woman, gambling, crime or other problems?

 

Question.  Which of these things do you think don't happen in Europe every day?

Question.  Do you drink or take drugs.

Question.  Do you think you were keeping good company.

Question.  Where would you go in Europe be sure things like this would not happen again.

Question.  Are you seeing a pattern developing.

Question.  Where are you from.

 

Sum it up one friend was a dangerous criminal, died in prison, another with mental disease, the next reckless (crashed high speed into a truck), next a drunk, last one might have lost his phone.  Just sayin' sounds like sick people.  Very unfortunate.

 

What do ya think?  Europe looks like the solution?  One way to find out.  How was life there before coming to Thailand?

[JAFO]

Its an interesting dynamic here in Thailand. Most of the men who move here are 50+. They left their home country for various list of reasons. Some on a whim, some because of a girl, some because they liked the place, some wanted change etc. But the issue they face is that generally speaking most older people are not so "User" friendly and of course the older they are the life span is short. Its not like college days or mid 30's where you met new people at work, socializing, sporting events etc. When you move from you home country your personal contact list just got cleared. You start all over. One thing I have found is to make your life work here is do not force it. Be content with yourself. I also firmly believe that your friend base should have a range of ages so you can enjoy a bit of variance. In the US I used to see people 50 and up all start that downward life stuff. Most used to sit around and what used to be talked about fishing, sports, women, cars etc.Now its politics and healthcare and who died.

 

Balance your life. Engage in hobbies that you can do alone. Stay active. Friends will come to you in strange ways.

[1FinickyOne]

Sorry for your loss of friends... I might ask how many of them were drinkers, heavy drinkers... they do not tend to fare too well in most societies... if you meet people outside of bars, you might find that they live longer and make better friends. Alcoholics tend to have one best best friend... and not much matters to them after that. 

 

But losing friends is no excuse to stop making friends... better luck to you in the future... 

[eldragon]

Sorry to hear this, mate. Thailand does not attract a lot of people that want to do something constructive with their lives. And locals are not especially intellectual or curious. Don't expect to make a lot of lasting relationships here.

[BudRight]

5 hours ago, joeyg said:

 

Well all of the things you talked about could have happened anywhere.  Even in Europe.  Right?

...

 

They didn't. They happened in Thailand and they happen a lot more in Thailand than in Europe.

 

OP, I'm not from Europe but I moved back to my own country some years ago. I'm pleased with how it's worked out so far.

 

I don't know what your education is and if you'd qualify to immigrate somewhere, but I hear Canada is very nice. 

 

[Kinnock]

Tough times for the OP.  But it can change overnight.  The OP has had a run of bad luck - and perhaps this was linked to the friends he met up with.  Either move back to Europe where higher levels of law enforcement can help to protect your mates - or choose friends with a different lifestyle.

 

There's a strong alcohol related culture amongst some ex-pat communities (especially in Pattaya) and I suspect this was the root cause of all the issues?  There's many people on this forum who ride big bikes thousands of KM a year and they survive - but they don't drink and ride.

 

I like a drink on a night out - but only once or twice a week, and I never drive or ride after a drink. 

[Kwasaki]

18 hours ago, joeyg said:

Sir I find your words succinct and profound.  I have had thoughts and observations about this phenomenon but nothing that comes close to the clarity and simplicity of your words.  It is as though I have had a sort of epiphany.  Thank you.  However I am still plagued by a question. Why?

 

Why ! 

I guess his found no sincere friends, mixed with the wrong people, been scammed by all sorts races his come across in Thailand. 

[joeyg]

On 8/16/2016 at 0:42 PM, BudRight said:

 

They didn't. They happened in Thailand and they happen a lot more in Thailand than in Europe.

 

OP, I'm not from Europe but I moved back to my own country some years ago. I'm pleased with how it's worked out so far.

 

I don't know what your education is and if you'd qualify to immigrate somewhere, but I hear Canada is very nice. 

 

Have to agree to disagree on this, 

"My first best friend, he did a huge mistake. He got jailed and died there. Another guy got killed in a heavy motorcycle accident with his Harley. Next guy committed suicide. He drove with his motorcycle on high speed into a truck. And the last one, died because of acute liver failure. He started to drink after his GF deceased. Later i learned, he took also some medications. And now, a good friend which I meet regularly is suddenly disappeared. No telephone, no Line...nothing. We wanted meet the next day, but he didn't show up.  I have no clue what happen to him."  Really can happen anywhere.  Suicides, imprisonment, alcoholism etc happen here more.  Have to see some sort of stats , teally.

 

Traveled a fair amount through Canada.  Beautiful scenery for sure.  Canadians, you can have 'em.  However, just from what I've heard here, I think Canada would be a much better choice for the OP.  And it is bigger...