Am I normal?

[smotherb]

18 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

not for me as I said a few month before 

Well, then I guess your life is over. It seems you have at least four choices: 1) You can just sit in a corner and cry about it, 2) You can go back groveling and promise to change whatever caused the rift, 3) You can get violent with her--although it is doubtful that will make anything better, or 4) You can do as MissAndry suggested and move on.

 

Numbers 1 and 2 seem self-deprecating and senseless, while number 3 will likely not end well. If you really can and want to change whatever the issue, maybe number 2 will work or more likely end in additional heartbreak.

 

Take two hookers and call me  in the  morning.

 

[F4UCorsair]

2 hours ago, giddyup said:

Total rubbish! That was the advice I was given after my loyal dog of 15 years died. You can't substitute a dog any more than you can substitute a person. We aren't talking about buying a new pair of shoes.

 

Please yourself.

The shoes could be made from the skin of the dead dog?

Before anybody takes It too seriously, I'm joking about the dog's skin.

 

[lvr181]

2 minutes ago, transam said:

In an ideal world where we all thought the same that may be the case, but we all do not think the same as many posts here have shown regarding the OP and myself.....

 

Sometimes you need to confront and deal with reality, uncomfortable as it may be. 

[NickJ]

Trust me. All you do when you break up with someone,  or they break with you. Is focus on the good and not the bad.

Focus on the bad. Everyone goes through this.

A better situation could be around the next corner. Often is. I found one. 

I was guilty of missing the ex. Now three years after the fact. I still remember the pluses. Dwell on them a bit now and then. Well, until I look at my new girl.

Yeah.....this one I can see a future with.

The ex just chewed through my life. Taking and taking. Shouldn't be that way.

Don't fall into the bottle.find a good one. Break ups should teach us what to be on the lookout for. Then avoid the bad ones.

[giddyup]

20 minutes ago, F4UCorsair said:

Please yourself.

The shoes could be made from the skin of the dead dog?

Before anybody takes It too seriously, I'm joking about the dog's skin.

 

Hilarious

[elgordo38]

19 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

O you don't get me at all I still love my wife

I don't want to have sex with anybody 

Like a new pair of shoes try sex on. It hurts at first then the pain goes away and the shoes feel fine and you can throw your old pair in the garbage. After being married 3 times a loved one leaving has stages similar to learning you have a catastrophic disease. First denial, second anger, third acceptance. Trust me you will get over it and years later look back and think "Boy that is the best thing that ever happened to me" I did after wife No.1. She is back in my home country living alone with knee replacements and cataract surgery and I am here in Thailand riding my bicycle living with a 27 year old g/f. Trust me life does not get better than that. Its all about travelling the right roads in life's  journey. That part is like winning a lottery. 

[Kabula]

You first have to understand that love is an illusion!

 

One unknown author stated, "love is a serious mental illness!"

 

Think about what she would look like in 10 years and that helps!

 

Initiate conversation with 3 women daily that look better and get their telephone numbers.

 

Call then and net work and always have backup and don't repeat your illusion!

 

In time you will mature and avoid the better dealers as everyone wants to be their friend!

 

There was a reason she was alone when you met her.

 

A day will come when you decide to rent everything and you become the better dealer and have complete control?

 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Feel sorry for her as she lost you, and when she is 40, spitting out teeth, fat, losing hair, cooking food or a maid she will think about you!  

 

That is the norm here for most, especially the bar girls.

[elgordo38]

29 minutes ago, lvr181 said:

 Yeah yeah, we read you but you have to move on, otherwise you just going to wallow (and possibly perish) in your own self pity. Thai wife leaving is entirely normal. Your "poor me" attitude should not be. Harsh as it may sound, get over it, move on and enjoy hopefully, a better life.

Yeah if you cannot quit crying into your beer quit drinking

[richard_smith237]

OP - Don't worry, you are perfectly normal... 

 

Anyone can get hurt, many people do...  

 

One thing is for certain - TIME helps... it simply takes time, sometimes a little longer for some than others. 

 

 

Discussing this on an Anonymous forum won't help much, there are those callous individuals who will tell you 'man up' or use some other 'tough, I'm cool, I'm manly' terminology... or they might suggest 'shagging your way through Sukhumvit' as some form of remedy... 

 

The only remedy I see fit in these times of tough emotional being is to recognise that there are always others and a far worse place... you are one of the lucky ones... Keep active, immerse yourself in an activity (getting fit etc)... and remember, TIME, it does get better with time until eventually the feelings of loss and emptiness are replaced with satisfaction and happiness for life - you'll no longer feel sad, but happy that you have had such experiences in your life..... 

 

 

Edited September 1, 2016 by richard_smith237

[Agent Sumo]

18 hours ago, mesterm said:

Was she so special that she's worth thinking about even months after she left you? I don't think so.

 

Because if she was that special, she would have appreciated your love and loyalty, and stayed.

 

Rubbish!

 

How do you know the OP wasn't a complete douche to her and that's why she left?

[HooHaa]

jesus, who cares, stop whining on the internet and get your shit together.

[JJGreen]

 

Rubbish!

 

How do you know the OP wasn't a complete douche to her and that's why she left?

And that's it...we dont know the other side

 

Discussing this on an Anonymous forum won't help much,
 

Disagree. There are forums for everything and one specifically about relationships he would receive different advice...or same advice given in a different manner

[georgemandm]

19 hours ago, MissAndry said:

Sounds entirely normal (if pointless) to me.

Having sex with someone else is usually the fastest cure.

You just made me laugh so much yes. 

Very  true not understand how man here get like that , thailand is like a mango tree you want a new woman go to the next mango tree and get one .

[Agent Sumo]

6 hours ago, Patsycat said:

It takes a woman a lot to leave a man.  It took me two black eyes and four broken ribs.

 

  You must have upset her in some way.

 

And now you are crying.

 

Some of us women here have been through hell and back over men, but we get up and get on with our lives.

 

And so should men.

 

Amen to that.

 

No surprise that a forum full of dysfunctional men should almost all assume that the culpable party is the OP's wife and not the OP himself. 

 

One berk reckons she'll be back when she runs out of money, another assumes the OP was loving and loyal.

 

Frankly, whenever I hear tales like this, I just think that, given how many TV posters have such acerbic attitudes to women, it's not surprising that even financially-dependent Thai women would rather leave with nothing than have to put up with the control freakery/financial manipulation/I'm the boss-type of behaviour so many of them project on these forums.

[MissAndry]

16 hours ago, DipStick said:

forum error

 

 

[MissAndry]

16 hours ago, DipStick said:

forum error

 

 

[MissAndry]

10 minutes ago, transam said:

Macho man talks..........

 

But in a way he's right, no woman wants a weak man.

The weaker and more needy you appear to be, the less desirable you become.

[georgemandm]

3 minutes ago, Agent Sumo said:

 

Amen to that.

 

No surprise that a forum full of dysfunctional men should almost all assume that the culpable party is the OP's wife and not the OP himself. 

 

One berk reckons she'll be back when she runs out of money, another assumes the OP was loving and loyal.

 

Frankly, whenever I hear tales like this, I just think that, given how many TV posters have such acerbic attitudes to women, it's not surprising that even financially-dependent Thai women would rather leave with nothing than have to put up with the control freakery/financial manipulation/I'm the boss-type of behaviour so many of them project on these forums.

Ok good , so what's wrong with I am the boss thing .

[georgemandm]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

Seems you are my prime example of a guy/gal who cannot experience real love...Thanks for that...

Yes how true are you when you start that love S??? You get know we're in a  relationship .

[HooHaa]

14 minutes ago, transam said:

Macho man talks..........

 

not macho, just possessed with a modicum of self respect.

one does question why so many seek validation on the internet, especially on thaivisa.

But, keep banging out the one liners and smileys, maybe you will get a like.

[F4UCorsair]

34 minutes ago, transam said:

Of course, but as I said we all think differently, some of us do have/feel real love for another that cannot be easily removed....One of the reasons I came to LOS was I had problems losing my wife, folk said your crackers, perhaps, it took me a couple of years here to get over stuff and it was the/my right move, my gamble..

One of the reasons I get a bit upset when topics come on here about those of us who come to LOS are 'needy', losers, drunks, all that shit, yet they do not know what is going on in an individuals head..Nobody does..That farang bloke who writes books on  us stupid farangs in LOS has never lived here comes to mind, detestable chap with a chip......

To me anyone who can feel real love is lucky, sure unlucky if it goes tits up, but that is part of life.

 

My uncle is 93, his wife died at the age of 93, she was cremated and her ashes live in his sitting room, he tells me he cannot be without her..They were married for near 70 years, that is real love..

Better not to have the ashes too accessible.  I hope he doesn't get on the Mekong and do what Keith Richard did, high on coke, he snorted his old man's ashes.

[Agent Sumo]

9 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

Ok good , so what's wrong with I am the boss thing .

 

Nothing  . . . . if you're worthy of being a boss.

 

If you're just an otherwise weak and unremarkable man trying to exercise control over another person using money or whatever, you're just a bully

 

Men here just assume that they know better and deserve to be "the boss" because 1. They've got the money 2. Because they're men and 3. Because the woman is often less educated than they are

 

Edited September 1, 2016 by Agent Sumo

[mesterm]

23 minutes ago, Agent Sumo said:

Rubbish!

 

How do you know the OP wasn't a complete douche to her and that's why she left?

 

Yes, that's probable too. If he's made mistakes he should know what they are, no need for us to rub it in at this point when he looks this miserable.

[MissAndry]

4 minutes ago, Agent Sumo said:

 

Men here just assume that they know better and deserve to be "the boss" because 1. They've got the money 2. Because they're men and 3. Because the woman is often less educated than they are

 

 

Item 3 seems entirely reasonable to me, the more educated person should be in charge.

What would you choose as the criteria for being 'worthy'.

 

Now I think about it, item 1, having the money also seems like a fairly good reason for 'being a boss'.

 

Are you seriously going to push that being stupid and poor is a reason to be in charge of anything?

Edited September 1, 2016 by MissAndry

[Agent Sumo]

1 minute ago, MissAndry said:

 

Item 3 seems entirely reasonable to me, the more educated person should be in charge.

 

Yeah you're probably right there but then again, I don't believe anyone should be a "boss" in a relationship. It should be an equitable partnership with each playing to their strengths.

 

Of course, that might be a bit difficult if you're going to hook up with a poorly-educated woman with no money but that's not something I would ever do.

 

Absolutely no interest in women who defer to a man because they can't or won't handle repsonsibility

[HooHaa]

11 minutes ago, transam said:

Nooooooooo, you write like someone who is incapable of knowing what real love is, but you are not alone as posts here show...you crack on....

 

PS. I ain't a like hunter, just post...well they won't let me sing on here...

 

i shouldnt engage the hoi polloi, but how would you know what i am capable of, and what is your definition of "real love"?

all i see here are examples of serial monogamy, denial and disillusionment - of that, i am incapable..

Edited September 1, 2016 by HooHaa

[Sayonarax]

19 hours ago, tifino said:

missus and I are staring at the start of this one!!!

 

as the OP is not alone in this problem

 

... she comes out with:

 

...our very good old friend Sam,

has a cousin called Sofer, who's married to a Thai.

She already had had a kid to a Thai man many years earlier (kid now 20 old)

 

She and Sofer, met, and married, and came Australia 10 years ago.

She has another little girl, who when 2, the mum up and dumps Sofer, for another man,

a customer, here in OZ on a temporary project, from Ireland or the likes as I recall,

tho' not to be too worried the little details...

 

She's off with the other man, and has another kid, altogether they are off on their new life for just under 2 years

 

He, suddenly has to go back home, and refused to keep contact, and she's left holding the baby...

 

Just a little while ago, Sofer is all smiles again...

... she's suddenly come back to him.

 

He's happy as he gets to be dad again to their kid together,

He's resigned himself to the fact he's not going to get his end off again with her,

so life goes on in a totally platonic sense.

 

Everybody knows he can't, and doesn't, trust her, but that has become a secondary thing...

 

She's come crying back to Mr Money, as he can and will support them all.

 

He's now over 70, and she's over 40 now

 

He can't, and won't have sex with her, but at the same time, he doesn't want it from anybody else too.

 

He has actually adopted the child of his wife's ex-customer, 

and he's over the Moon, to have a little bit of life back,

and to live the most for now... or how little time he has left...

 

amazing - he meets his to-be-wife in bar

His then-wife meets customer in bar,

and she leaves hubby and has another kid a year later.

Husband gets his wife back, and kid(s) when she is dumped.

No sex, and happy

 

 

I hope some aussie women has ripped this gold digger a new one.. she got used and abused. Serves her right.

[F4UCorsair]

18 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

I wonder if someone whose wife has just left them really wants to hear how perfect someone elses wife (allegedly) is.

It may cause him to realize what a hopeless scrubber he'd married?  That couldn't be a bad thing.

[Kwasaki]

Good laugh l've had reading this and if anyone thinks that's wrong all l will say is what's it doing in pub, beginning to think it was all a wind up. 

[Shatian]

On 8/31/2016 at 4:15 AM, White Christmas13 said:

No it is not what you think  I just in love with my mife 

Your wife? Move on. She is not more your wife as she doesn't want you. So why keep talking of your wife as if you are still married with her?