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Why are the elderly so bitter?


puukao

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19 hours ago, chiang mai said:

What started as a casual and innocent observation of British and American behaviour was read incompletely by JSP as being an attack on all Americans (which it wasn't)

 

No, I read completely and didn't interpret your casual and innocent observation as being an attack on all 'Mercuns at all. I merely casually and innocently agreed w/ your observation re: Brits, gave a recent study with insight to help justify that observation, and explained why a remnant of the Empire might have the wrong impression that them 'Mercuns have a superiority complex. No problem. :) Me, I'm hardly one of the bitter whingers around Pattaya, some members of all nationalities I guess. Love living here, and regularly incur the wrath of the peanut gallery by pointing out positive aspects and laughing at all the whinging, so I'm always being accused of being a real estate agent (ha!) and wearing rose-tinted glasses. I see its negative points of course but the good far outweighs the bad.

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22 hours ago, MissAndry said:

 

Sounds like dementia (or drug side effects) to me.

 

But, saw a 40ish Korean man have a melt down in the immigration queue at the airport in front of me a few weeks back. "Don't touch my bag" he screamed, while throwing it on the ground and jumping up and down, was with his wife and children as well, surprised they didn't shoot him. But they just let him get on with it while he exhausted himself, then passed him through when he was done. Western guys having a tantrum just can't compete with the Asian blowouts, amazing Thailand!

 

Poor guy. What a tragic situation to lose your mind. 

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Well, approaching 60 now I guess I have a perspective.  I was born in 1957.  Suburban USA, just below I guess the middle class socio economic status I guess.  One car family.  Never had a lot, but never really knew it.  Luckily I had a brain and had very good friends to hang out with.  Got through High School, no drugs or any problems.  Finally got through engineering school.  Joined the USAF.  Went to OTS. Did 10 years.  Left as a captain, got a MS degree on my own.  had some work ups and downs but now am approaching and am in good shape financially for retirement.  Age can slow one down, but frankly I think at times people do get bitter.  They reflect on things they did, or more importantly on things they did NOT do.  If they aren't millionaires it is easy to think of all the road blocks, bad court decisions, foul divorces, etc. and blame them for not having all you want now.  I never had those issues, but I do sometimes dwell on the past more than I should.  I certainly could have done a handful of things differently that would have made a huge difference. 

 

    Life can beat the crap out of you.  Constantly paying bills, constantly having to change things you are perfectly happy with, some are small some are large but here are some examples: have to get rid of your flip top phone because it is 2 or 3g and won't work with new network stuff that you don't want or need, having to deal with changing medical care stuff Obamacare, constantly increasing prices, worse service, etc.  Constantly bothered by telemarketers, spam email, things that were not allowed or every present when we were younger.  Maybe having to change jobs or living locations again. Remember when it was almost pleasant to go to see a bank teller?  you walk in now and they want to charge you for seeing a teller!  And of course relationships can harm or hurt you, both family and friends.  Few people get through life without some bitter disappointments or experiences.  Of a person has some health problems, chronic pain, etc.  well that can weigh on one. 

 

    Funny thing is, some things have gotten easier and with some planning one can avoid some things and if thinking positive can make things seem a lot better. Public libraries have some pretty good stuff and free DVDs, and magazines, etc.  You can pay a lot of things and bills online and not have to deal with the US Mail, write checks.  Driver license and automobile registration on line and sure beats the old days of the 1970s waiting in the wrong line for hours at the DMV.  Drive through or delivery restaurant choices.  Cars are much more reliable, although can be expensive to repair and they are making them less and less serviceable by the average even decent mechanic. 

 

  My biggest regrets that might lead to me being a bit bitter some times?  Two years where I was probably not the best financially and I was very unhappy at work.   I didn't go to Thailand soon enough!  I had no idea what I was missing and I had the means and resources to go had I chosen to.  Fortunately I stumbled onto engineering contracting work, and even though I have had to give some things up, the freedom and ability to leave a job that just got untenable was better for me and the pay was much more than I would have made as a miserable little direct employee.  Made it to Thailand 14 times and can't wait to get back.  My retirement finances are there and that is not even counting the 2k/month I will soon be getting from social security.  I will try to snap less and not be bitter and will dwell more on the positive

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Have lived in Thailand 20+ years. I was feeling angry a few years ago and it went on for awhile. I realized that it was the company I kept that was the cause. I dropped more than half my so called friends, broke up with my then GF and moved. My life changed for the better. That was 4 years ago and I must say that the last four years have been some of the best years of my life. Basically, take control of your life and don't let other people bring you down. I see many young and old fall into the trap of letting the people around them control their emotions. Throw out the garbage and bring in the new !

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23 hours ago, chiang mai said:

 

You see, you've lived in the US too long, it's rubbed off! I lived there for almost fifteen years but I took the antidote everyday, heavy doses of AC/DC, Zeppelin and Aerosmith, it's very effective treatment. :gigglem:

 

It seems you didn't take any nice long trips to Nashville or Austin. Probably didn't even pay your respects in Memphis at the grave of The King. ;) Anyway, to continue this off-topic excursion (more fun than the main topic, merely the latest in a long tradition), I'm glad the treatment evidently failed on Albert Lee. Rose above the provinciality of Blackheath, 'e did, to become nothing less than (cough)--a country boy. He don't mean the West Country mind you. Supposed to be a really nice guy, too, not in the least snide and arrogant. His talent has been well-recognized and appreciated.

 

 

 

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11 hours ago, Dipterocarp said:

 

Don't even know where to start with this one, how about South Park? As the Brits like to say "rubbish" or "utter tosh". My condo is mostly Thai with some Foreign but everybody is quite pleasant.

As for random "Farangs" outside I'm more than happy to chat if they approach but I learned a long time ago better not to initiate. Guess who the worst are as for suddenly being hostile, as response 

to a friendly greeting? 

 

" I learned a long time ago better not to initiate. "

 

Doesn't that apply both ways, maybe you and yours look unapproachable?

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21 minutes ago, uptheos said:

I guess when you get old you've earned the right to be whatever you wanna be. If a person wants to wear purple socks with sandals, mind your own business. :D

So you are the guy that bought out the discount purple socks at Robinsons last week?  

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1 hour ago, uptheos said:

I guess when you get old you've earned the right to be whatever you wanna be. If a person wants to wear purple socks with sandals, mind your own business. :D

 

E/S   just luvs pink socks,with a Chelsea F.C . blue tie,  Ups  can u buy them at robbo,s???

its  a Who good evening  to all my readers :)

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On 9/4/2016 at 8:35 AM, SaintLouisBlues said:

An inability to control one's temper as one gets older is sometimes a sign of dementia - https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/elderly-temper-tantrums-156852.htm

Another explanation could be the sense of frustration with oneself for all sorts of reasons ranging from physical infirmities to a realization that one is trapped in Thailand with nowhere else to go. "Walk a mile in another man's shoes" is always a good philosophy to have

 

Inability to control one's temper seems to be rampant at all age levels, just note 'one king hit' (or whatever it's called) now seen regularly in Australia and other places. Pretty much all teen and young 20's guys.  

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1 minute ago, Naam said:

there's an attractive lady in the neighbourhood who virtually begs me to have sex with her whenever she gets hold of me. i am depressed and bitter because my wife does not approve. can my wife be cured? :ermm:

 

I guess she can be cured of being your wife - but is the attractive lady worth it?

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4 hours ago, uptheos said:

 

" I learned a long time ago better not to initiate. "

 

Doesn't that apply both ways, maybe you and yours look unapproachable?

We had an old Japanese guy in our building. For couple years saw him coming and going or drinking in front of mini-mart. Always alone. With a permanent scowl on face.

I took a chance to talk to him when we ended up sitting next to each other at a restaurant. Turns out he is a very nice guy, enjoyed talking to him. He did not really speak English but I got the gist of it.

No family ( or no contact) small pension, prices keep going up. Only pleasure in life tobacco and alcohol. He has since moved on to a cheaper place. Where I come from it is polite to make small talk with neighbors and exchange simple greetings. Most foreigners are just fine, but even Chiang Mai attracts crazies and jerks who are more than happy to unload their venom on people for no good reason.

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On 9/5/2016 at 10:42 PM, Oscar2 said:

don't understand what used cars have to do with the topic??

 

No idea, do not have anything/docs on my PC with used cars in..  cannot even open it myself, it was a letter to  'Metisdead' explaining the problem I have with this new format,

 to ask him to forward to the Help Desk Forum 

 

This is the only Forum, that I can write on or have a box to type in........ even his and other Mods message box do not work..

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 04/09/2016 at 5:43 AM, jobin said:

Simply google these words 'age related testosterone levels' mate,  and you will learn what lies ahead.  And i'm not just talking about bedroom activities, but every durn aspect of the physical life goes downhill, and rapidly.  The eyes can't see well, the joints can't move well, the muscles no longer lift the bag of rice, the legs can't pump the bike uphill, the urinary tract starts to fail, ...you name the function and after age 70 that function is in deep decline.

 

No wonder the bitterness arises.  Bitterness is a mental state which some men cannot avoid.  And to avoid this state of mind takes substantial daily effort:  it's a choice but does take training/work to elevate the mind away from the reality of 'old age'. 

Speak for yourself.

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