Why are the elderly so bitter?

[AlQaholic]

6 minutes ago, Michael8511 said:

Yes you have many old angry farts here. The section I sat in at the beach had 10-12 oldies 8 years back, now it's 1 oldie and some new. every time I come back they decrease I asked 1 massage guy I know if they had died and he laughed and said no they fighting so they moved. When I looked closer into it they were all bitter angry and had so different opinions that they had to move away one after one. I still see them but at different sections and they are still bitching about nothing. Same at the bars, luckily there is still bars enough so they can sit and complain at separate places.

must be the water or air here in Pattaya that make older men kranky and bitter. It's a shame they were once friends and I think when you live here far from family you need a good friend. But they fight about nothing. Same in the condo building I live there is a couple and the lady complain to all tenants about everything from keeping the door open to cooking. She have nothing else to do. The other day we had breakfast on the balcony 6:30 in morning as every day and the door was open for draft. She stormed in and started to complain it was shoes in the hallway, but the shoes belonged to next condo. They love to be bitter and miserable.

Should file a police report against her for trespassing.....

[JSixpack]

39 minutes ago, chiang mai said:

 

The Daily Star!!! Isn't there a forum rule somewhere that posters can't use quotes from comics to support their argument. thought there was.

 

Google is your friend, pal. Will any of these do for you?

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-319763/Official-Britain-nation-moaners.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/12159688/So-what-if-Britain-is-a-country-of-complainers-We-want-to-make-the-world-a-better-place.html

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/644427/complaining-tips-refund

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3563396/Moaning-is-our-defining-British-characteristic.html

 

[ClutchClark]

My hearing is crap. Too many years around loud machinery. 

 

When I talk, I often talk loudly as a result.

 

Some people think I am angry because I am talking loudly.

 

Just one more thing to consider.

[Toscano]

Foreigners coming to live in Thailand are very naive , often people who in earlier life had no travel experience .  Living in another country , adapting to a new culture and customs is not easy .  Thailand is not Utopia , foreigners are not welcome as residents , which causes stress with migration offices and money .  Thailand is full of pretty women , who irrespective of age , cultural or education differences will take up with almost any man for their money .  In time there may be severe frustrations on both sides . 

[Robert24]

I think the main reason for them to be so grumpy and bitter is that they don't travel much, have never lived in Asia before, are bored, don't have a business or work etc. I've come across plenty of happy elderly people, but they are all busy with something, still working, running some business, doing Sport, travelling etc.


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[MissAndry]

5 minutes ago, Robert24 said:

I think the main reason for them to be so grumpy and bitter is that they don't travel much, have never lived in Asia before,
 

 

I'm definitely grumpy, but not so much bitter.

In the last 4 months I've been living/visiting Cornwall (nice), Central London (great), Chiang Mai (OK), Suvannakhet (dull) and Olongapo (great). Back to the PI in November. So you can cross 'don't travel much' off your list of reasons to be grumpy.

Edited September 5, 2016 by MissAndry

[bazza40]

On 04/09/2016 at 8:57 AM, NancyL said:

You've got to remember that Chiang Mai has been promoted as one of the top places for international retirement for over ten years and thus has a very high number of retired expats.  Many of the articles in international press focused on the cheap cost of living here and others, particularly on the internet, talked about how easy it is for men, even those of a "certain age" to find beautiful female companionship.  

 

Many of these men have found themselves to be victims of the global economic crash of 2008-9 and/or divorce settlements where half their old age pension and life-time savings were given to their wives by judges.  How were they to start a new life  as an old man in a competitive environment in their home countries?  What employer would want them.  And no woman who was attractive enough to make them feel young again would give them the time of day.  Why not just come to Thailand and live a perpetual holiday on their reduced pension income?

 

Fast forward to now when they've been here a few years and are in their seventies.  While someone mentioned reduced testosterone as something that happens as one enters their seventies, it's more likely they're suffering the effects of poor diet in trying to save money eating cheap Thai food, with the calcium and vitamin B12 deficiencies that can develop.  They overindulge in alcohol, which affects judgment and further destroys the ability to absorb vitamins.  Not to mention makes them susceptible to falls on CM's bad footpaths.  And early stage dementia is starting, with frontal lobe changes that cause anger and temper tantrums.  Long-term alcohol use causes a form of dementia.  

 

It's important that newly arrived retirees develop a social network when they arrive and activities that focus on something besides drinking.  While it's nice to make friends with the local people, it's been my observation that the most successful elder expats are those who have a wide circle of friends within the expat community.  As one gets older, their ability to socialize in a foreign language diminishes and it's important to keep the touchstones of one's home country.  Too many expats live in self-imposed isolation here, right in the middle of the city.  It doesn't need to be that way.

Bravo Nancy, a not-so-subtle attempt to enlist more retirees into the expat club here.

I regard myself as successful. I have my own hobbies and I choose my friends carefully. I can live like a king on a part pension and the income from my assets. My Thai GF of 7 years is a joy to me.

Sorry, but  belonging to an  expat club with organised activity, being bored to tears by people with the personality of a wet lettuce, would be torture akin to chewing razor blades. No thanks.

[ClutchClark]

2 minutes ago, bazza40 said:

Bravo Nancy, a not-so-subtle attempt to enlist more retirees into the expat club here.

I regard myself as successful. I have my own hobbies and I choose my friends carefully. I can live like a king on a part pension and the income from my assets. My Thai GF of 7 years is a joy to me.

Sorry, but  belonging to an  expat club with organised activity, being bored to tears by people with the personality of a wet lettuce, would be torture akin to chewing razor blades. No thanks.

 

Well I glad that Nancy gave you this opportunity to brag about yourself.

 

I don't think they care much for that at expat clubs. Its about inclusiveness and not about why you are special.

[bazza40]

4 minutes ago, ClutchClark said:

 

Well I glad that Nancy gave you this opportunity to brag about yourself.

 

I don't think they care much for that at expat clubs. Its about inclusiveness and not about why you are special.

I can't help the way you choose to look at things. Your response does indicate some bitterness of your own.

Or perhaps you took offence because you are one of the wet lettuces?

Edited September 5, 2016 by bazza40
Change wording

[ClutchClark]

1 minute ago, bazza40 said:

I can't help the way you choose to look at things. Your response does indicate some bitterness of your own.

 

 

Nothing bitter about it. I just don't understand guys who need to come on here for the sole purpose of bragging about themselves and criticizing a suggestion someone has made attempting to help out older folk who might be lonely. 

 

There is a big difference between bitterness and dislike.

[bazza40]

1 minute ago, ClutchClark said:

 

 

Nothing bitter about it. I just don't understand guys who need to come on here for the sole purpose of bragging about themselves and criticizing a suggestion someone has made attempting to help out older folk who might be lonely. 

 

There is a big difference between bitterness and dislike.

Ah, the ad hominem argument. Plus a spurious "sole purpose" assumption. I'm simply saying expat clubs do not suit everyone.

Dislike me as much as you want. I doubt it's going to spoil my day.

 

[mankondang]

IMHO, the location, and age has less to do with it than their personality, and this has even less to do with it, than how you perceive their personality.

[elgordo38]

On 9/4/2016 at 6:12 AM, chiang mai said:

I'm not sure that grumpy old expats, as a percentage of old expats, is any higher than misbehaving young expats, perhaps because I don't run into very many. But the ones I have seen have been either, fresh off the boat and haven't got a clue about how to behave, and/or, remnants of the Empire who expect preferential treatment as a result or Americans (not to bash) with a superiority complex.

 

I think one thing that happens is that, as expats in Thailand get older, we tend to notice things that we didn't notice previously, particularly the behaviour of other expats. As our awareness and familiarity with Thailand improves we tend to be more critical of other expats who don't behave the way we thing they ought. I also think there are behavioural differences between city based foreigners and rural/semi rural foreigners, as a semi rural dweller I observe the expats around me and almost without exception I don't see them behaving poorly. Perhaps because of their generally shorter tenure (think tourists), city based, older expats tend to be less familiar with the country, its people and the right way to behave.

 

Just my observations FWIW.

I agree we may be grumpy old farts but most of us at least are honest grumpy old fart. My grumpyness had been in remission till you started this thread now all is for naught. 

[billd766]

2 hours ago, MissAndry said:

 

That's sad, still working in your late 60s.

 

Why?

 

I worked until the Friday before my 65th birthday on the Saturday and spent the last year of my working life in New Zealand and thoroughly enjoyed it.

 

I flew back home to Thailand on the Monday to retire in rural Khampaeng Phet with my wife and son and haven't left Thailand since,

 

Yes I have bad days as do most people, young and old, but I try not to let it get me down. At 72 I still find lots of things to do, and I gave up alcohol 2 months ago because I felt that 2 bottles of Hong Thong every 5 days was a bit much.

 

I still ride my motorbike and drive the pickup truck but not as often as I did before.

 

Life is far more enjoyable now than when I was in my 40s and 50s working a 50/60/70 hour week.

 

My son here in Thailand is 12 and I can afford to spend more time with him than I did with my first son in the UK, because then I was running flat out to pay the bills and having little or no quality time with my family.

 

Life is what you make of it. How you feel affects the people around you and the people that you meet with.

 

I have found that talking quietly and politely using what little Thai my deafish ears can cope with is always easier than ranting and raving at everybody because after a while the friends that you had start to avoid you and the Thai people that you deal with go deaf and mai koh jai on you and simply ignore you.

[ClutchClark]

19 minutes ago, bazza40 said:

I'm simply saying expat clubs do not suit everyone.

 

 

 

Well if you had only said that then we would have been in complete agreement.

[billd766]

1 hour ago, ClutchClark said:

My hearing is crap. Too many years around loud machinery. 

 

When I talk, I often talk loudly as a result.

 

Some people think I am angry because I am talking loudly.

 

Just one more thing to consider.

 

My hearing defects came a lot from being around jet aircraft in the RAF before ear defenders became an issue item. Tone deafness came from the same problem.

 

I can hear reasonably well when I am listening to only one thing or one voice but after 3 or 4 voices at the same time especially from behind me, is just becomes a babble of noise.

[elgordo38]

I guess we sit in our TV war room to long. We should maybe get out more. I am like a Thai 2 different people one nice person while walking and talking and road rage ignore all the rules when driving. When in my TV war room I must get psyched up to give witty replies. This helps work any meanness from my body so that when I am out and about I function as a normal expat who excepts the day to day trivial things that go wrong here. Its a Clark Kent syndrome.

[Naam]

On 9/4/2016 at 8:20 AM, Dante99 said:

Where do you find these bitter people demonstrating their vile?

they congregate daily in this forum

[elgordo38]

Just now, Naam said:

they congregate daily in this forum

Guilty

[sharktooth]

Wetherspoons should open up here. That way all the old moaning boys could sit under the same roof groaning about life... same like happens in the u.k.

[chiang mai]

1 hour ago, JSixpack said:

 

Google is your friend, pal. Will any of these do for you?

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-319763/Official-Britain-nation-moaners.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/retailandconsumer/12159688/So-what-if-Britain-is-a-country-of-complainers-We-want-to-make-the-world-a-better-place.html

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/644427/complaining-tips-refund

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3563396/Moaning-is-our-defining-British-characteristic.html

 

 

"Pal"!

 

Why of course, why didn't you post the link to the Telegraph in the first place (your three other links are unacceptable I'm afraid):

 

"The rise of complaining is not a sign that the British character is in steep decline. On the contrary, it’s people power in action".

"We complainers, by contrast, want to make the world a better place"

"we are much less tolerant as a nation of poor service – 82 per cent of consumers now say they won’t put up with it".

 

You should read the article in the link you provided, being a "moaner" is not portrayed as negative in any way, it's very much a positive.

 

[slipperylobster]

On 9/4/2016 at 6:12 AM, chiang mai said:

I'm not sure that grumpy old expats, as a percentage of old expats, is any higher than misbehaving young expats, perhaps because I don't run into very many. But the ones I have seen have been either, fresh off the boat and haven't got a clue about how to behave, and/or, remnants of the Empire who expect preferential treatment as a result or Americans (not to bash) with a superiority complex.

 

I think one thing that happens is that, as expats in Thailand get older, we tend to notice things that we didn't notice previously, particularly the behaviour of other expats. As our awareness and familiarity with Thailand improves we tend to be more critical of other expats who don't behave the way we thing they ought. I also think there are behavioural differences between city based foreigners and rural/semi rural foreigners, as a semi rural dweller I observe the expats around me and almost without exception I don't see them behaving poorly. Perhaps because of their generally shorter tenure (think tourists), city based, older expats tend to be less familiar with the country, its people and the right way to behave.

 

Just my observations FWIW.

 

I liked how you singled out "Americans" without the bash.  lol.

Actually....Americans are in the minority here.  I seldom run into any (I am one).

Ninety percent are from Down Under or Brits....and, although they are humble enough, are about the most disgruntled.  Few of the Americans I met were as grumpy.

 

[chiang mai]

1 minute ago, slipperylobster said:

 

I liked how you singled out "Americans" without the bash.  lol.

Actually....Americans are in the minority here.  I seldom run into any (I am one).

Ninety percent are from Down Under or Brits....and, although they are humble enough, are about the most disgruntled.  Few of the Americans I met were as grumpy.

 

 

Actually I didn't single out the Americans (not to bash), I used them as an example of a nationality following the British, "remnants of the Empire" refers to older Brits., what else could it refer to, certainly not the Japanese!

[thaiguzzi]

Bitter? What about twisted?

[slipperylobster]

7 minutes ago, chiang mai said:

 

Actually I didn't single out the Americans (not to bash), I used them as an example of a nationality following the British, "remnants of the Empire" refers to older Brits., what else could it refer to, certainly not the Japanese!

 

oh..ok

The "superiority complex" part is what led me astray.

We (Americans) do not all have that...btw.

I think that is just a "perception"...which is much like saying all Brits from London are looking down their noses at the rest of us.

 

I do watch the BBC (if no other choices are available)...and it does seem that Brits look down their noses at Americans...as less intelligent/educated and geographically ignorant.   lol

 

If I walk into a bar and play country music, you can just see the grumpiness spread.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 5, 2016 by slipperylobster

[Thaidream]

I have come in contact with retired  professionals; blue collar workers; and general workers of many nationalities from scores of countries around the World all living in Thailand.  Most are incredibly interesting to talk to when one actually listens to them. I find they have a wealth of information on a variety of subjects that help broaden my opinions and information about who they are and where they come from. Most are not grumpy or a pain in the butt.  Most like to have a pint and a chat. Every now and then I run into someone who is drunk; grumpy; crazy or all three.  I guess the World would be pretty boring if everyone  came from the same place and was the same. Just as an aside- if Thailand really wanted expertise in a number of industries or endeavours- there is plenty of talent available in the expat community.

[Deepinthailand]

Simple answer not on this forum No

On this forum yes

[Retiredandhappyhere]

My wife in the UK left me after 37 years of marriage and I lost 50% of everything in the divorce, including my home and business.  I moved to Thailand and I am now 75 years old and have lived here for 12 years.  I have made all the usual mistakes which naive ex-pats tend to make and I have lost a lot of money as a result, although I still have enough to get by on.  I simply choose to forget the past, not dwell on my mistakes, and get on with my life and I am very happy with the lovely (mature) lady who has been living with me for the past two years.  I do not drink or smoke,  I watch a little TV (mainly news) , watch a lot of sport on the internet, keep in touch with my UK family and friends there with emails and on Skype, some of whom visit me periodically.. I eat out perhaps three times per week, go dancing about once a fortnight, drive my car,  take care of my home and garden, am keen on DIY, read books, play sudoku and do crossword puzzles, have a normal sex life, exercise at home every day and generally keep busy and have a very enjoyable life.   

 

Although I say it myself (although  my partner agrees with me), no sign of a grumpy old bas...d there!  I guess I am just lucky, as I enjoy good health.   I am always a bit surprised though at some of the extremely rude replies on here to other  members' innocent comments and enquiries.  It is almost enough to make sensitive souls like me afraid to post on this forum.   

[pgrahmm]

46 minutes ago, slipperylobster said:

 

oh..ok

The "superiority complex" part is what led me astray.

We (Americans) do not all have that...btw.

I think that is just a "perception"...which is much like saying all Brits from London are looking down their noses at the rest of us.

 

I do watch the BBC (if no other choices are available)...and it does seem that Brits look down their noses at Americans...as less intelligent/educated and geographically ignorant.   lol

 

If I walk into a bar and play country music, you can just see the grumpiness spread.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.....The fellow Americans I meet seem to be rather good folk....We're more straight forward talking & not really from a "pub gathering" society.....Seldom complainers from what I've experienced - part of that could be part of coming from a big (not city bound) country......Our humor is different too + our music is better LOL.....

 

When I'm out walking about it's seldom I see them pub squatting.....

 

It is, however, hard to know what the origin is of the guys walking around stores/malls that don't have time for a nod or passing smile usually accompanied by a little black cloud look - those could be the grumpy's.....

[MissAndry]

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

 

Why?

 

I worked until the Friday before my 65th birthday on the Saturday and spent the last year of my working life in New Zealand and thoroughly enjoyed it.

 

 

I worked from age 22 to age 26, then I became a housewife, which was hardly any work at all, after the kids were 3, playschool and school took care of them and my life was an endless round of coffee mornings, shopping and womens groups.

 

19 years of NI payments for having the kids, a few years from my husbands NI contributions ....... hardly any need to work, company pension and nearly full government pension (nobodies sure if it's worthwhile buying the few extra years because of the recent change, they'll let me know).

Edited September 5, 2016 by MissAndry