The whiners and the silent majority

[Suradit69]

Yes, I'm as happy here as I probably would be anywhere else. As the O/P says there are some frustrations from time to time, but where are there not? 

 

The Thai bashing and endless whining from some people on TV says more about them than about those they are bashing.  Unhappy people always want to have someone to blame for their own problems. Adding in the racial factor that is usually implicit, and often explicit, in their complaints makes it all the more deplorable. 

 

More and more I try to avoid opening any thread on Thai Visa with a title that sounds like it's going to be a platform for the usual suspects to bash and moan. Of course even the most innocuous title can surprise you. 

 

Anyway I'm happy here. Don't let the malcontents drag you down to their level.

 

 

Edited September 14, 2016 by Suradit69

[seajae]

great post, it is pretty spot on as well. I had a lot of ups and downs in Australia, 2 marriages, the first ended when our daughter was raped and killed, the second after I suffered a debilitating work injury. I was a tradesman in the building industry(over 30 years), had done  several years service in the army in my late teens/twenties and have been  involved in a lot of different sports(representitive)/outdoor activities, I am also regarded as a leading world figure in  my field.  After my injury I never even thought I would be able to be in the position I am now with a great wife ,family and thai friends around me as well as being able to do what I really love doing, this country has enabled me to do much more than I could back there. Thailand has made it all possible, I love this country but I also see its faults and I am open about it all, I call a spade a spade as thats the way I was raised. I agree that a lot of us do not simply hang out in bars or chase fresh meat, we dont have to because we are very happy with what we have here, I am restricted in a lot I can do so I have a few hours a day on the computer and coming into TV is one of the ways I handle my time, if I see something I have an opinion on I will state it same as if I agree with someone else I will like it. We are all different and are entitled to out own opinions, we may disagree with a poster on one subject but will back them up on another, having a whinge every so often is just a way of releasing frustration for some of us. I think we do get several people in here that simply cannot accept their way of life and again I think that a lot do not live here,  some may have visited Thailand but they only see the bad and not the good so all they do is put it down, I know from my point of view I want to live out the rest of my life here, I seriously doubt I could ever live full time back in Australia, nice for a visit but thats it. Thailand is my home, this is where my heart is and I am sure you will find many expats with the same outlook, we see past all the crap and know exactly what it is we want out of life and Thailand can give it to us.

Edited September 14, 2016 by seajae

[Scotwight]

A lot of retired American military qualify for foreign medical payments and that takes a load off of American hospitals and it's cheaper for the government in most cases.  Shipping all the old guys from America to Thailand makes a lot of sense (like me) and if the government looked at the costs they would pay Americans to come to Thailand and pay for a care giver (wink wink wink),  That's if rationality ruled the world.  VA has a lot of problems in the States that could be remedied by reducing the patient load.  

[meatboy]

i salute all you guys that have a great life and a wonderfull wife here in thailand , but my life is fullfilled by the wonderfull company,effection,and loyalty not only by my wife but my beloved SAM.[AVATAR]

[55Jay]

Well OP, all those little "blips" you say you encounter here, and just keep on truckin'......

Apply that logic to this and you're good to go.  

[Krid]

I have to agree with RetiredandHappyhere.

Speaking for myself, education is very dear to my heart and a lot of things, related to the latter locally, used to drive me mad. It took me quite a while to accept the advice of fellow farangs, to let  go and go fishing. A couple of months ago John Arnone wrote a somewhat similar article in the Bangkokpost titled; “Time to stop whining”, which also contributed to my personal equilibrium.

Circumstances in the domestic  area and articles in the English newspapers/forums still trigger me from time to time, such as respectively no visible homework activities , IQ comparisons  between regions, regional ranking etc, but I try to ignore them and avoid getting into the “theorethical problemsolving debating mood (I was an IT engineer in a university environment)”.

This is often followed by normal non-offensive human bashing using the comparative mode (we do-they do-why),  while the reaction of my GF acts as a red light sign. The internet helped a lot in creating an understanding for  local habits such as, balanced (really!) use of alcohol, presence of motivation to learn English etc. There is a lot of reliable information out there.

On a whole I enjoy being in Thailand, but I do not think that I will ever lose the built-in  - Why, What, Who etc – mechanism.

[NickJ]

In over two decades of being here. I can count on one hand the times I have thought,  Damn, I made a mistake.

I have gone through a usual life of huge ups and downs mixed with a few tragedies. 

Mostly I worry about being unable to put in another decade or so.

You gotta learn to go with the flow and laugh while doing so.

[VBF]

1 hour ago, Suradit69 said:

Yes, I'm as happy here as I probably would be anywhere else. As the O/P says there are some frustrations from time to time, but where are there not? 

 

The Thai bashing and endless whining from some people on TV says more about them than about those they are bashing.  Unhappy people always want to have someone to blame for their own problems. Adding in the racial factor that is usually implicit, and often explicit, in their complaints makes it all the more deplorable. 

 

More and more I try to avoid opening any thread on Thai Visa with a title that sounds like it's going to be a platform for the usual suspects to bash and moan. Of course even the most innocuous title can surprise you. 

 

Anyway I'm happy here. Don't let the malcontents drag you down to their level.

 

 

@Suradit69 Your saying reminded me of a quote from a Wilbur Smith book "Avoid the company of losers, for their despair is contagious"

 

To the OP - great to see something soooooo positive on here - be happy 

[Junkyarddog]

Thanks to the OP. Been here 30 years. Its home to me. I am perfectly happy and will never leave.. So many things here are better than my own country. Im talking about things that really count in life.

[teacherpaul]

20 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

 Yeah totally agree I hope I never see westernization in Thailand and hope they never really join this Asean set up and distance themselves from it. 

Isn't terraformers taken from Japanese  ? 

Too late. Thailand partly formed ASEAN and are very much in. Hopefully ASEAN will remain a trading bloc and won't mutate into the political nightmare that the EU has become.

[kannot]

"love" is  too strong a  word, you can live in Thailand without loving Thai people and be perfectly ok, I dont think they are any great shakes at all and I certainly  dont like their culture.

As  long as Im left alone theres  no problem..................in ANY country.

[rogeroc]

Not much Thai bashing going on in this thread! To look at things from a slightly different perspective i think that the 'Whiners' are sometimes wound up by the 'i love everything Thai' Posters as well. As an example there are those that continually attempt to justify massive dual pricing variations or incidends like the army descending on mass in bars in tourist areas. Another example would be where some Posters question the wisdom of the increasing and sometimes unexpected bar closure days and are automatically attacked as alcoholics with fat bellies and tattoes when they are simply just suggesting that unsuspecting tourists could be very disappointed. The insults are often being fired both ways!

 

I lke spending many months per year in Thailand and i think it is a great place but there are issues and the future of the country is a concern and these concerns should be expressed on these forums.

[GreasyFingers]

Glad to be part of the "happy in Thailand" crew. Family & friends in Aus cannot understand why I am so happy with the uncomplicated lifestyle.

[villagefarang]

I just love the idea that us happy people are responsible for the misery of the whiners.

[rogeroc]

48 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I just love the idea that us happy people are responsible for the misery of the whiners.

 

That is an interesting point of view as well. When Posters talk about having the perfect life / perfect wife it can come across as very boastful. That can affect some others in a different way.

 

1) some will not like the boasting (which is very 'un British') and will react negatively even though they are not upset.

 

2) there will be others that are going through a rough time for all number of potential reasons and hearing of others happiness and success in a gregarious way may hit them where it hurts.

 

In summary i am definitely not against positive Posts and positive stories but they should be written with consideration for all. Often they are not ! Read your sentence above again, not very sensitive is it ? 

Edited September 14, 2016 by rogeroc

[impulse]

3 minutes ago, rogeroc said:

In summary i am definitely not against positive Posts and positive stories but they should be written with consideration for all. Often they are not ! 

 

I think you've hit another nail on the head.  Lots of the sage (?) advice here on TVF starts with the assumption that we're all here for life, we all speak fluent Thai, and we all have a Thai wife to make sure we don't run afoul of local customs.  And we're somehow deficient if we don't.

 

By that same token, lots of the whining is inflamed with the assumption that we've all experienced the same royal hosing that some of us will (unfortunately) experience when we set up our business, bought our property, married our sweetheart...or...or...  And we're somehow incomplete and oblivious if we haven't been through it.

[chiang mai]

2 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

I think you've hit another nail on the head.  Lots of the sage (?) advice here on TVF starts with the assumption that we're all here for life, we all speak fluent Thai, and we all have a Thai wife to make sure we don't run afoul of local customs.  And we're somehow deficient if we don't.

 

By that same token, lots of the whining is inflamed with the assumption that we've all experienced the same royal hosing that some of us will (unfortunately) experience when we set up our business, bought our property, married our sweetheart...or...or...  And we're somehow incomplete and oblivious if we haven't been through it.

 

A well thought through post.

[tomyumchai]

17 hours ago, berybert said:

Never had twins born in your village ?

 

Yup. And then another guy leaves.....incase it was his.

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, teacherpaul said:

Too late. Thailand partly formed ASEAN and are very much in. Hopefully ASEAN will remain a trading bloc and won't mutate into the political nightmare that the EU has become.

 

Yeah it was a bit of dig really but of course l'm sure Thailand will give to all the demands by the other members and comply with everything. 

[tifino]

 

having lived in both Malaysia, and then Thailand, both experiences were both very positive and enjoyable, and I feel mostly it was from being properly-hitched to a local of the respective countries.

 

Pity couldn't say anything the same positive about an earlier married life over in the Philippines... only there did I cop everybody, without exception, out for what blood they could get out of this stone!!

 

[Deepinthailand]

Been to and lived in many countries through my life. Not as an expat mind.

Decided after some bad times in the UK it was time to move on. Luckily enough I have visited Thailand many times before so I knew how the place was. Also I didn't read this forum untill I had been here some time. I have no doubt listening to oppo's in the UK who have read a lot of the Thai bashing they rip you off threads, have been seriously put off. I'm with the OP there is nothing in thailand I don't like. A few irritations but with a little thought and calmness nothing that can't be done. But according to a lot of the posters I'm a Thai Appologist whatever that is suppose to be of course. So pleased to be reading a posative genuine post for a change

I also managed 22 years in the Corps The Royal Marines so very little car phase me.

[villagefarang]

2 hours ago, impulse said:

 

I think you've hit another nail on the head.  Lots of the sage (?) advice here on TVF starts with the assumption that we're all here for life, we all speak fluent Thai, and we all have a Thai wife to make sure we don't run afoul of local customs.  And we're somehow deficient if we don't.

 

By that same token, lots of the whining is inflamed with the assumption that we've all experienced the same royal hosing that some of us will (unfortunately) experience when we set up our business, bought our property, married our sweetheart...or...or...  And we're somehow incomplete and oblivious if we haven't been through it.

In my opinion making assumptions about other people’s assumptions is a mistake and I think your assumptions are off the mark.  Then again I find it hard to understand the rationale for whining and I don’t have much sympathy when people blame all their misfortune on others.  Part of being a grownup is accepting responsibility for our choices. 

[djayz]

People who aren't happy with themselves can never be happy anywhere on this planet. 

Since I've learned to adapt, improvise and accept the things I can't change and don't understand, I've become much more content here. 

I too hope Thailand won't become too westernized, but unfortunately I think it's inevitable. 

"Progress" (for the want of a better word) knows no boundaries. 

[rogeroc]

Posts 52 and 53 are both in some ways examples of the point i was trying to make. It almost comes across that anybody who has an opinion that may be determined as negative is chastised by the 'Positive / Happy Group' 

 

'Part of being a grown up is accepting responsibility for our choices'  - is implicating that others with opposing views are childish.

 

'People who aren't happy with themselves can never be happy anywhere on this planet' - again a harsh and exaggerated statement.

 

The views expressed by many Posters who consider themselves 'postive' are very often (as above) quite negative and could be seen as derogatory by some, even if that may not be intentional.

 

 

 Like t

[bwpage3]

Well unfortunately every coin has 2 sides and for each person, it is their own side of the coin that tells their story.

 

The happy posts never seem to have enough detail except " I love Thailand" and for many that has a completely different quality of life.

 

If the Op is happy living in Thailand on a retired E-7 salary, that is great on him.

 

Everyone has their own reasons for living and I seriously doubt any sane person would change their mind or be influenced by anything that anyone has posted here.

 

After 10 years in Thailand, I went back to the USA because I could make a high 6 figure salary. I wanted my son to have the best education possible. I wanted him to be able to have all the things he wants growing up that I never had when I was kid. Now that he is in high school I was able to buy him his own car, something I never had in high school. He doesn't need mom and dad driving him around on his dates.

 

He will only be a kid once, and I would never be selfish and give him anything but the best.

 

I had my time in Thailand, moved back for his best chances and someday I will retire with even more chances.

 

It has nothing to do with bashing anything.

 

If you need to rely on forum advice to plan the best for you and your family, you already lost.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[villagefarang]

I get the feeling that it is okay to post about how downtrodden one is but people are not so tolerant of happy people giving details.  If we say anything about how nice our life is we are boasting in the eyes of many.  So yes, we do leave out most of the detail.

[bwpage3]

11 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I get the feeling that it is okay to post about how downtrodden one is but people are not so tolerant of happy people giving details.  If we say anything about how nice our life is we are boasting in the eyes of many.  So yes, we do leave out most of the detail.

I can never understand why anyone would take offense with something realistic and factual?

 

Realistic and factual being the key there.

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I get the feeling that it is okay to post about how downtrodden one is but people are not so tolerant of happy people giving details.  If we say anything about how nice our life is we are boasting in the eyes of many.  So yes, we do leave out most of the detail.

 

I like to hear positve stories there have been a few good ones lately,  however there are a few where it definitely turns to boastful and a few who need to quit the insults towards someone who disagrees with them.  Grown ups should take responsibility for what they write.

Edited September 14, 2016 by rogeroc

[NanLaew]

5 hours ago, rogeroc said:

Posts 52 and 53 are both in some ways examples of the point i was trying to make. It almost comes across that anybody who has an opinion that may be determined as negative is chastised by the 'Positive / Happy Group' 

 

'Part of being a grown up is accepting responsibility for our choices'  - is implicating that others with opposing views are childish.

 

'People who aren't happy with themselves can never be happy anywhere on this planet' - again a harsh and exaggerated statement.

 

The views expressed by many Posters who consider themselves 'postive' are very often (as above) quite negative and could be seen as derogatory by some, even if that may not be intentional.

 Like t

 

 

Good points and taking the two bold case comments separately;

 

'Part of being a grown up is accepting responsibility for our choices' - There have been numerous suggestions that some government entity, be it back in our homeland or here in Thailand, be formed to advise love lorn senior citizens against becoming victims of what some would have us believe is the local Thai industry of ripping off pensioners and retirees. I would consider those proposing such nanny-ism are indeed being childish.

 

'People who aren't happy with themselves can never be happy anywhere on this planet' - The adage "misery loves company" has been a broadly embraced concept before the internet was invented, TV spawned and well before the first 'losers' discovered their personal Nirvana with Noi in Nakhon Nowhere.... and subsequently lost it. Unfortunately, their posts are like lights to the moths who also curiously mostly subscribe to the nanny-ism in the initial quote.

 

A fairly recent post by a fairly new member mentioned that he was mostly afraid to post a comment lest it become part of a more contentious debate or even worse, he/she be openly denigrated and made a laughing stock. Being relatively new to both life in Thailand and online forums, he/she likened the TV experience to moving to a new neighborhood, going down to the local pub to get to know the new neighbours but finding certain verbose pub 'regulars' lording over all, being generally dismissive of other opinions and frequently getting verbally abusive.

 

Beyond basic language differences (since many TV contributors are not doing so in their native language), there are those that can speak reasonably eloquently and there are those that can convey fluid thought and opinion via the keyboard. There's a fair few that are capable of both these 'skills' but it must be totally unnerving for those that find that speaking their mind in public 'down the pub' is challenging, only to come to TV and find there's more than a few noisome 'regulars', just like in the real-life pub that won't let them get a word in edgewise or openly ridicule and bait others, apparently  just for the hell of it. The so-called 'keyboard warrior'. Chances are, the atypical keyboard warrior probably can't hold a decent, real-life conversation and is typically described by their few acquaintances as a bit of a 'bump on a log'.

 

I think we have all been guilty of forming opinions about a member based on what he/she posts, either as an OP or their contributions to an ongoing thread. There's been one post to this thread by a member of decent standing who's opinions I have generally disagreed with (not openly) that has given me an insight; a personal vignette that enables me to see where they are coming from. To use the CNN cliche, everyone here has a back story and keeping that in mind is pretty important.

 

I have been guilty of being a smart-ass, baiting, a bit of keyboard jousting and arguably been called a troll and the Moderators (may their God bless them) have suspended me several times for my transgressions. I would like to think that there has been a quite recent onslaught on the perpetual sh!t-stirrers and they are doing an excellent job of keeping these pages mostly clear of the obviously inflammatory, openly derogatory and the totally witless.

 

The 'silent majority' probably know that the power of the 'Report' button and 'Ignore' function too.

[chiang mai]

Telling people how good your life is will always be seen as boastful by someone and therefore scorned - you can't please all of the people all of the time!

 

But telling how many problems you have and how miserable as a result means an attentive never-ending audience  - misery loves company perhaps.

 

I don't know that this is the writers problem at all, as long as some amount of care has been taken, readers have a little understood responsibility too - people who are offended by VF's posts and consider them boastful are perhaps reading out of their league!