The whiners and the silent majority

[GreasyFingers]

10 hours ago, djayz said:

I too hope Thailand won't become too westernized, but unfortunately I think it's inevitable. 

"Progress" (for the want of a better word) knows no boundaries.

 

I came to Thailand for differnt reasons but the one that keeps me here permently is the fact that it is not too westernised. Here we need to make decisions for ourselves just like when we were younger 40-50 years ago. There are many other benefits but that is the one that gives the most peace of mind.

[canuckamuck]

People talk more about what is negative than what is positive. For the obvious reason that negative things intrude on their happiness. People who only talk about positive things are initially refreshing, but after a while appear to be deluded. There is always something to fix in this world always things that could be made better. By discussing these things we have a shot at making them better. By just finding the good in everything you contribute some balance but not much solution.

Most of the people on this forum come from places with advancements and protocols which could easily be copied and applied here. Are they wrong to point it out.

Another thing is people have very different humours. Being cynical is hilarious to some and offensive to others. Personally I can't help myself, I find great enjoyment in cynicism. Now some people will take that to mean I am negative, but I do not feel I am negative. I just find humour in errors and absurdities. Because this is how I am wired, I find much less negativity on this site than some others. What I find instead is a lot of entertainment.

A third facet is that there are many people who are incredible defensive, which I read as insecure, and these people cannot bear any negativity towards anything they have invested in. I assume they feel that pointing out some dysfunction in Thailand is akin to pointing out dysfunction in them personally, because they chose this place. These people can't be easily helped. They are narcissists and they make up the apologists and rose glasses brigades . Their inability to separate themselves from comments directed at other things, will always make them sour. It is bad form to take offence when none is offered.

When conversing with normal people you must expect that the majority of the discussion will be about troubles or bad situations because that is normal. That is what people are interested in discussing. This is why news media spends very little time on good news stories. Humans want to grind on about the problems.

All that being said, I do appreciate the silver cloud people and the permanently pleased. I should try harder to be more like them. I am certain they are very nice people.  

Thank you Just One Voice, for an enjoyable OP.

[villagefarang]

11 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

I can never understand why anyone would take offense with something realistic and factual?

Realistic and factual being the key there.

I agree that no one should take offense but sadly they do.  Worse yet they call you a liar if your reality doesn’t seem to fit with theirs.  Not being unhappy and successfully finding ways to adapt to situations, rather than insisting everything has to change to suit your desires, seems to be very insulting to some.

[georgemandm]

All good and happy for you all , but when someone gets on here TV and tells you he is not happy with thailand and move out of thailand, you are the ones , the happy ones who have a go at him .

[Alive]

The most surprising thing about the opening post is he was in the military in the US but does seem to care about the freedoms he was supposedly defending. I never thought that way either when I was in the military. In Thailand for many, it's all about what you can get as a foreigner or for some a foreigner with money. It certainly can be surreal here in Thailand where you find some expats who made their money working for government lies and the military industrial complex sat down right next to the very people who would burn the flag right in front of their faces in praise of Communism. Well, that's Thailand and expats. It's an escape. It was for me too but I've changed. Personally, I wish I could have more freedom to speak the truth here online and in Thailand without fear of my post getting deleted for using a wrong term to describe a government or for fear of arrest because I spoke the truth. I'd like my kids to have more freedom and not be required to have personal wealth, family bloodlines, or connections to have rights and freedom.But if you like Thailand, you probably are okay with the system that allows some to get ahead and even abuse without fear of punishment by their cronies. I don't want to live with an elephant in the room. That's me, for others they will live happily with the elephant in the room until one day it sits on them or their family member or friend. Then suddenly their comfortable as an second-class citizen in Thailand will be over. They'll change. What's new. It is the Thai story for the vast majority.

[IMA_FARANG]

If you have been around he world several times  and worked in different countries all over the world and  survived for 70 years, then you should have learned long ago that life can not be perfect;

Every day you get another chance to wake up and not find you are not dead yet is ia good one.

So stop cpmplaining, and just get on with another day of life you can live.

Looking bzck over 70 years of life I can recal 4 times I came within a few inches of being killed...but it didn't happen to me by pure good luck

So what's to complain about, anyhow?

 

 

 

[Gary A]

I think you'll find that most of the whiners and bashers are from posters who have not planned, have no money and have no future. I try to avoid them because they are likely to ask for a loan or help of some kind because they had bad luck. I just can't work up any sympathy for them. Some had a pocketful of money when they came but unfortunately a fool and his money are soon parted. As for myself, I am not wealthy by any means but I planned well and worked for the majority of my life to deserve carefree no stress living here in Thailand.

[sandgroper2]

If you live in a house in a village, that is where you meet people same as you. Move into a large , or small for that matter, condo complex. There you will   meet the men who can tell you what life with a thai woman can really like. Been  there, done that and now a hell of a lot wiser.

[MrJohnson]

My glass is very much half full. Thanks to the OP - I like the positivity.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 13 กันยายน 2559 at 6:57 PM, Kwasaki said:

 Yeah totally agree I hope I never see westernization in Thailand and hope they never really join this Asean set up and distance themselves from it.

Isn't terraformers taken from Japanese  ? 

If by that you mean PC I agree 100%.

 

Re the OP, I think it was Wellington that said he wasn't concerned by the men grumbling, but if they stopped complaining it was time to worry.

I think that such as the OP forget that there are many, many farangs that are isolated in LOS. They don't have anyone here to confide in. Their Thai wives and families  don't understand, and often they have no culturally similar people they can vent to. TV provides an outlet for such to speak about their problems in a safe way, and frankly, if any don't like it, they are not compelled to visit those pages.

 

If TV posters really want a non venting thread the answer to that is in their fingers, and they can start a thread about the good things in Thailand to read.

I always chuckle when I read a poster complaining about posters complaining.

 

In my experience, LOS is the next thing to paradise till it isn't, and then it is ( potentially ) very very bad. Can happen to anyone.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Gary A said:

I think you'll find that most of the whiners and bashers are from posters who have not planned, have no money and have no future. I try to avoid them because they are likely to ask for a loan or help of some kind because they had bad luck. I just can't work up any sympathy for them. Some had a pocketful of money when they came but unfortunately a fool and his money are soon parted. As for myself, I am not wealthy by any means but I planned well and worked for the majority of my life to deserve carefree no stress living here in Thailand.

You didn't get married then, I take it .

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, IMA_FARANG said:

If you have been around he world several times  and worked in different countries all over the world and  survived for 70 years, then you should have learned long ago that life can not be perfect;

Every day you get another chance to wake up and not find you are not dead yet is ia good one.

So stop cpmplaining, and just get on with another day of life you can live.

Looking bzck over 70 years of life I can recal 4 times I came within a few inches of being killed...but it didn't happen to me by pure good luck

So what's to complain about, anyhow?

 

 

 

Sometimes living is worse than being dead. If you can't think of 5 such scenarios in a minute you aren't trying.

However, I do agree that few of us appreciate just how good our life may be when it is good.

 

I too have come within inches of being dead on the roads. A few times in Thailand and twice back home.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, villagefarang said:

In my opinion making assumptions about other people’s assumptions is a mistake and I think your assumptions are off the mark.  Then again I find it hard to understand the rationale for whining and I don’t have much sympathy when people blame all their misfortune on others.  Part of being a grownup is accepting responsibility for our choices.

Hmmmmmm You assume that being a "grown up" is a good thing. Wars are started by grown ups. Capitalism practiced by grown ups has done much to destroy millions of lives, grown ups destroy the environment etc etc etc.

Perhaps the world would be better off without grown ups.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, Alive said:

The most surprising thing about the opening post is he was in the military in the US but does seem to care about the freedoms he was supposedly defending. I never thought that way either when I was in the military. In Thailand for many, it's all about what you can get as a foreigner or for some a foreigner with money. It certainly can be surreal here in Thailand where you find some expats who made their money working for government lies and the military industrial complex sat down right next to the very people who would burn the flag right in front of their faces in praise of Communism. Well, that's Thailand and expats. It's an escape. It was for me too but I've changed. Personally, I wish I could have more freedom to speak the truth here online and in Thailand without fear of my post getting deleted for using a wrong term to describe a government or for fear of arrest because I spoke the truth. I'd like my kids to have more freedom and not be required to have personal wealth, family bloodlines, or connections to have rights and freedom.But if you like Thailand, you probably are okay with the system that allows some to get ahead and even abuse without fear of punishment by their cronies. I don't want to live with an elephant in the room. That's me, for others they will live happily with the elephant in the room until one day it sits on them or their family member or friend. Then suddenly their comfortable as an second-class citizen in Thailand will be over. They'll change. What's new. It is the Thai story for the vast majority.

I agree with you in part. The question for me is  is it worth living in Thailand to have a far more enjoyable life here than back home, till it isn't any more, or go "home" and live a life that I hate, just to be safe?

Yes, Thailand is great, till it isn't, but back "home" is much like slowly dying millimeter by millimeter every new day.

I like to remember the song "it's better to burn out than to rust".

[chiang mai]

2 hours ago, sandgroper2 said:

If you live in a house in a village, that is where you meet people same as you. Move into a large , or small for that matter, condo complex. There you will   meet the men who can tell you what life with a thai woman can really like. Been  there, done that and now a hell of a lot wiser.

 

One of Thaivisa forums more amazing posts of recent times!

 

 

[bwpage3]

Any one with any sense at all that moved 10,000 miles away to Thailand, should have realized that over the years, many things could, can, will change.

 

Did anyone that moved to Thailand 20 years ago predict what is happening in Thailand today? No.

 

So of course it makes sense that for some or many, the situation for them personally has changed over the years. 

 

No one knows 100% what the other posters personal situation is? Could be money, could be health, could be divorce, could be betterment of the kids future, it could be floods, you name it.

 

If a person moves to the third world and never expects things to change or plans for things to change over the years, that is not being logical at all.

 

What would happen if the baht dropped to 20 baht to US $1? Would more people think about moving? The answer is anything can change at any time in the third world giving anyone a reason to stay or move.

 

I never can understand how people you don't even know start with the person attacks, flinging wild stories and what motivates them to do this? 

 

Because some one decides to move home is their business and only they know the reason. Are they failures because they did what is best for them? Of course not but that is contrary to many abusive posters here.

 

Many of the abusive posters seem to be permanently upset that they have no way to make it back home? They start with the tirade of everything that is wrong with their home country they lived in move of their lives when the fact is, most is just made up stories.

 

[Strange]

I pretty much made the decision to move back to the states at the end of the year. I don't like thai bashing but sometimes the things that happen here drive me up a wall. 

 

Im glad a lot of you guys are happy and love thailand/people/culture. For me its just hard to look past all the nonsense. 

 

I thought I liked thai culture when I came here, but after a few years I started to see whats really between the lines. Culturally most, not all, but most even the most basic cultural activity here - making merit - has nothing to do with helping others. Need money? Make merit. Business not doing well? Make merit. Its not done out of the goodness of ones heart, its done with an agenda. 

 

The whole "face" thing is ridiculous to me as well. Someone does something just completely bat-sh*t retarded and on purpose, and you call them out on it and they RAGE. 

 

The junta not having any affect on your day to day life? Well, it hasn't had any affect on mine really either, but considering how ingrained corruption is in Thai culture (Fully Expected and Completely OK) and that an Army General (or whatever) can take over a country and then sit and dictate willy nilly what he feels like... I don't know... You can choose not to care and you can choose to wait until things directly impact your quality of life before they become relevant. 

 

The other day myself, wife, and 2 other girls were driving to lotus (2km round trip) I was driving the wifes car, I have a 5 year license, insurance and tax paid on the car, and we are RIGHT by our house. Car, license everything in the same province. Came up to a police roadblock, let a bunch of cars through, saw me driving, made me stop. Pulled over and gave them my Thai DL. The cop, visibly angry (no idea why), demanded my "Pa-sa-port". It was in the house, not on me, and the wife told him so. He made me wait by the little "table" while my wife went and got my passport. When he got my passport he made a nice show of authority by walking out in the road, stopping other cars (with my passport in his hand) talking to motorists for about 10 minutes... When he was finally done, he berated my wife with some stuff about "Terrorists" and how I must carry passport all the time or I can go to jail... Im not new to this game and I just sat there waiting for it to be over, but I remember thinking, "Really?" Im just trying to get some groceries here and now its "Terrorism" and "jail" not to mention everyone in the car was like <deleted> is going on. Was embarrassing. 

 

Look, I know people are willing to overlook these things because they love it, but I'm trying to show the other side of the coin. Its nice. The people are generally good and look at these things the same way anyone would - "<deleted>" but on the same note they are REALLY good at "never mind". 

[rogeroc]

14 hours ago, chiang mai said:

Telling people how good your life is will always be seen as boastful by someone and therefore scorned - you can't please all of the people all of the time!

 

But telling how many problems you have and how miserable as a result means an attentive never-ending audience  - misery loves company perhaps.

 

I don't know that this is the writers problem at all, as long as some amount of care has been taken, readers have a little understood responsibility too - people who are offended by VF's posts and consider them boastful are perhaps reading out of their league!

 

May seem surprising for me to like your Post along with VF and on balance i think you are correct and I also  would rather hear the positive than the miserable as well. I am actually interested in hearing the lifestyle VF talks off and i appreciate that different Nationalities have a slightly different way in expressing themselves. What i dislikee more is when 'positive' Posters very quickly turn to insults (even if they are relatievly mild) on those who disagree and also when they click the Like button to other stronger insults. I think the comments and the examples i have made earlier in this thread are relevent to the topic and i had hoped that those the comments were directed at had not been so defensive.

Edited September 15, 2016 by rogeroc

[rijb]

On September 14, 2016 at 9:01 AM, villagefarang said:

I would like to thank the OP for recognizing me as one of the happy, well adjusted foreigners living in Thailand and posting on ThaiVisa.  I feel that if one is happy and able to navigate Thailand without help then there is no real need to post much on TV.  There is nothing on ThaiVisa I can’t find elsewhere but I feel the site needs some positive posters to balance out all the negative stuff. 

 

On balance I have received a lot of positive feedback over the years but there are times when I wonder if it is worth the aggravation that comes with posting here at times.  I seem to be in one of those lulls at the moment where I am questioning why I bother to post at all.

 

That's an interesting coincidence.  Many past and present members of the CR forum have been asking the same question.

 

BTW:  Why do so many posters work so hard to convince everyone they're happy and well adjusted?  Or are they just trying to convince themselves?

[Gary A]

15 minutes ago, rijb said:

 

That's an interesting coincidence.  Many past and present members of the CR forum have been asking the same question.

 

BTW:  Why do so many posters work so hard to convince everyone they're happy and well adjusted?  Or are they just trying to convince themselves?

 

I tell people that I am happy and well adjusted because I am and they asked. I am contented and have no need to convince myself.

[rijb]

1 minute ago, Gary A said:

 

I tell people that I am happy and well adjusted because I am and they asked. I am contented and have no need to convince myself.

 

I'm not trying to give you a hard time.  But, why would people ask you that?

[Gary A]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You didn't get married then, I take it .

 

 I have been married for more than ten years. It took me a long time to find the right one. I planned marriage carefully too. She may even keep me because she says she is too old to train another farang. 

[rogeroc]

22 minutes ago, rijb said:

 

 

 

BTW:  Why do so many posters work so hard to convince everyone they're happy and well adjusted?  Or are they just trying to convince themselves?

 

I agree with you but i guess your comment could reasonably be considered inflammatory (he doesn't believe me) leading to a negative response, and then the 'vicious circle' starts.

[rogeroc]

5 minutes ago, Gary A said:

 

I tell people that I am happy and well adjusted because I am and they asked. I am contented and have no need to convince myself.

 

I don't see that question asked that often on this forum, i think it is much more probable that the information is normally volunteered.

[Gary A]

3 minutes ago, rijb said:

 

I'm not trying to give you a hard time.  But, why would people ask you that?

 

That's what the thread is about. Some of the posts are an example of misery loves company. Others like to tell how lucky they are.

[Strange]

1 minute ago, rogeroc said:

I agree with you but i guess your comment could reasonably be considered inflammatory (he doesn't believe me) leading to a negative response, and then the 'vicious circle' starts.

 

The "Vicious Circle" starts because people are childish.

[rijb]

14 minutes ago, rogeroc said:

 

I agree with you but i guess your comment could reasonably be considered inflammatory (he doesn't believe me) leading to a negative response, and then the 'vicious circle' starts.

 

It's not important what others believe.  But, bragging about how content with what we have, and where we are, seems self-destructive.

[rogeroc]

47 minutes ago, rijb said:

 

 

 

BTW:  Why do so many posters work so hard to convince everyone they're happy and well adjusted?  Or are they just trying to convince themselves?

 

i am starting to change my mind a little. On the surface the question could be seen as inflammatory but i think it really is also a question that begs to be answered. 

[rogeroc]

26 minutes ago, Gary A said:

 

That's what the thread is about. Some of the posts are an example of misery loves company. Others like to tell how lucky they are.

 

 

Don't think it is normally put down to luck or good fortune !

[Assurancetourix]

Thank u Just1Voice for these kind and positive words .

Cannot write as u can do; my english isn't very good , even I can , I must speak english with my friends from USA or Norway, Netherland or Italy ..Curiously no french people in my friends ,  maybe or surely because I'm french .

Living in the same little village in Isan where I'm the only farang since ten years and don't want to move .

Move only on my MTBike or sometimes always with my wife in our pickup to visit other parts of this beautiful country .

Arriving at a " toll police" with my MTBike, they ( the policemen) always salute me and applaud the farang on his machine .