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Posted
9 hours ago, sanemax said:

Most of the younger Thai girls who marry older falangs are not sacrificing a glitter career ahead of them in order to do so .

   They will never be self sufficient professionals, working as a cashier in 7/11 on minimum wage is even beyond their expectations in life .

   Most of them will either sit all day long in their bamboo hut in their village , caring for her Thai son whilst her whisky drinking Thai bf is out in the fields earning a few baht or she can spend years in a bikini dancing around a pole in Pattaya .

   The lucky few will meet a well off older felang who can and will provide for her, She will have a nice house and will never have to work again .

   She will go from street class to middle class over night , she goes from the bottom rung of the ladder to half way up it over night .

   It is quite unfair for all the girls who studied hard at school, went to uni and then settled for a menial job and theres Mrs felangs boyfreind with everything without any effort from her part .

   Young  rich guys have no interest in the lower class girls 

 

 

"They will never be self sufficient professionals, working as a cashier in 7/11 on minimum wage is even beyond their expectations in life"

 

Well said and sooooo true

 

many of those girls already have emotional issues and poor self esteen, poor personal development so blaming being married to an older farang is not necessarily correct. theres also no shortage of uni gals that are not poor that have"issues" alcohol, emotional, etc etc. 

 

 

"Young  rich guys have no interest in the lower class girls "

 

and some older guys with a couple of functional brain cells too.  don't need to be rich to have low interest in low spec girls.

 

 

i have to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. the financial relationship suits many and as long as they are ok with it "cest la vie"

 

 

  • Like 1
Posted

ummmm. age doesnt creep up on you

if your partner is 30 years older than you, you know what you are in for,

 

if you marry the guy for money/visa/status or wahtever, then its part of the package,

consequences for your actions!

 

for the most part, the women I see in daily life that marry 30yrs older are the stinking rich older men (eg Rupert murdoc, mick jaggar etc) or women wanting a visa (asian , east european women etc)

 

thats like me moving to a muslim country and complaing I cant eat pork chop

 

 

Absolutely no sympathy from me

 

what a joke

  • Like 2
Posted

I agree that an older man , 60 - 70 yrs old , marrying a girl 20 - 30yrs old is a mistake for a variety of reasons .

They will have nothing in common , a young girl may want children , he probably has adult children from a pervious marriage and doesn't wand to be troubled by babies .

Many men who come to Thailand may have enough money to support a wife really well , but not her whole family .

I see foreign men , whose physical appearance wouldn't attract any woman in their own country , married to quite pretty young girls .

I opted for a university educated woman in her forties , now 55yrs , with two already adult children away from home , who owned a house and farm land .

Even so my wife is 24yrs younger , but her thinking is older  we are both grandparents now of our respective families .

I would advise older men coming to Thailand to have a Retirement Visa , so marriage is not a must , you can stay in Thailand till you die without serious problems .

Don't get married , but if you have to a Thai village wedding is OK and if it doesn't work you can pack your bags and leave .

Don't buy a house , rent or lease unless it's a condo in only your name .

It's much cheaper to pay for sex as you go or have short time relationships .  Thais are not into kissing , cuddling and western style foreplay ;

you're more likely to enjoy that with a bargirl , than with a respectable upcountry girl or woman  .

  • Like 2
Posted
9 hours ago, upside said:

 

Funny you mention Joan Collins as well preserved,  she's been dead for over a year. 

HAHAHA!!....Well preserved maybe?

Posted
13 hours ago, khunpa said:

Imagine you marrying a 30 year older woman and having to live with her every day for years, just to be able to survive and send some money back to your parents. 

 

I think any normal person would go insane at some point. But of course the older men here, who are married to women that could be their daughters, would disagree. But I am sure they would never themselves want to live or have sex with a 30 year older person. 

 

"True love" in these (Grand) Daddy / Daughter relationships are extremely rare, in my opinion. Which also often shows, when the money runs out. And of course it impacts the women involved. Imagine you bringing home and showing your friends a Grand Mother-Girlfriend. They all know why you are with her, which would make anyone normal person sick, when thinking closer about it. I doubt the girls feel great about it... In ALL ways.

 

I know this will be hard to swallow for the Grand Dads here. But I do not care. If you are running around with a 30-40 year younger Thai-girl and you believe she really loves being with you, then you are simply stupid, naive as hell and living in Fantasy Land.

 

If you do not agree on that, then go have sex with a 30-40 year older woman and lets hear how much you enjoyed that. At least I can understand the men who find a much younger partner and inside knows/accepts, what it is really all about. But the guys who believe a 20-30 year old girl, really loves being with a 50-70 year old man are simply lost mentally.

 

 

Tell me are you  psychologist on  relationships I think not .

no way am I going to have sex with a old bag would you I think not .

so what if a older man has a young lady who cares not me good on him happy for him .

but people like you get on here and think you know it all and you have no idea because it has not happened to you so how the hell can you be  A judge on it you can't not .

are you  jealous yes I think you are .

  • Confused 1
Posted
13 hours ago, khunpa said:

Imagine you marrying a 30 year older woman and having to live with her every day for years, just to be able to survive and send some money back to your parents. 

 

I think any normal person would go insane at some point. But of course the older men here, who are married to women that could be their daughters, would disagree. But I am sure they would never themselves want to live or have sex with a 30 year older person. 

 

"True love" in these (Grand) Daddy / Daughter relationships are extremely rare, in my opinion. Which also often shows, when the money runs out. And of course it impacts the women involved. Imagine you bringing home and showing your friends a Grand Mother-Girlfriend. They all know why you are with her, which would make anyone normal person sick, when thinking closer about it. I doubt the girls feel great about it... In ALL ways.

 

I know this will be hard to swallow for the Grand Dads here. But I do not care. If you are running around with a 30-40 year younger Thai-girl and you believe she really loves being with you, then you are simply stupid, naive as hell and living in Fantasy Land.

 

If you do not agree on that, then go have sex with a 30-40 year older woman and lets hear how much you enjoyed that. At least I can understand the men who find a much younger partner and inside knows/accepts, what it is really all about. But the guys who believe a 20-30 year old girl, really loves being with a 50-70 year old man are simply lost mentally.

 

 

You are most certainly correct about that even if I could find a woman 108 years old. My GF just turned 40 and we have an agreement to respect and take care of each other. She was the fourth candidate I tested after my wife passed away last year. Eight months in now and all is lovely. Could not ask for anything more. Not easy to find the right one but not impossible either. Good luck.

Posted
1 hour ago, JAFO said:

This is a powerful topic and clearly there is no answer. The men with the younger wives/gfs will defend it vehemently. The guys that find it odd and can't fathom how it works will never be convinced of it. To the OP, I would suspect the gals that get mentally scarred from it didn't really think it through. the money caught their eye but then comes the sacrifice and the reality. I have heard many foreigners are mentally abusive with their spouses. They hold the money over their head etc. 

 

Regardless people will do what they do and find anyway to justify in their mind that their decision is OK. Its how people behave. My personal stance; I do not understand how it works with these older men and young gals. The sex part...whatever. That's lust and that wears off. But what about the other 23.5 hours in every day? I have my suspicions that most are completely disconnected because if you do not speak Thai or she doesn't speak the BF/Husbands native language then they are products of the environment they know. The men are waited on hand and foot without exception and as long as the money keeps flowing in the gals will do this without question.  We all know the maturity level of a great majority of Thai girls is leap years behind gals we are accustomed to interacting with in the west. I'd go absolutely nuts if I had a GF/Wife that was in 20 or 30 years younger than me. I would have no idea what to talk about. I would feel mentally shunted.  Hell I'd likely go crazy if she was more than 10 years younger and that's based on what behaviors I have witnessed at work and out and about over the last 10 years here. But again that's me. We all have vastly different expectations of what we want in a woman. Some want  smart and well educated, older, mature, a bit worldly etc.  Some want an uneducated, naive gal but pretty and the man can have that feel good "knight in shining armor" type and then there are the ones in between.  

 

KhunPa makes some very valid points but I guess who is anyone to judge what others do. Some base love and happiness on how much money and things they have, others base it more on a emotional/security connection. Happiness is determined by the individuals and if works more power to them. But make no mistake, the huge age gap in any country will always draw a stare and a comment and Thailand is no different. Do not think for one minute Thais accept and embrace the age gap and support it 100% . If you think that you are totally delusional and that puts pressure on the gal hence some of what the OP mentioned.

 

To the OP, I have known a few men that had wives 20 years or so younger(1 Thai, 1 Vietnamese). They decided to move back to the west. Both went terribly wrong in no time. The gal found she could meet a much nicer, closer to her age western guy and packed up and left the old guy.  In one case (as I knew the gal) she stated later it was embarrassing to be with him in public because people stared all the time. That will have some emotional scarring and you could call that a "Side Effect"  Of course in the west people judge others very harshly.  The old guys with young girls we see in the west are nothing more than a public charade. Its not nearly as prevalent as it is here in SEAsia. The gals in the west love the glitz and the glam but sell the big house, take away the diamonds and the cars and the LV, & Gucci purses and they are like CYA......There are Gold Diggers in every country. 

Jafo has covered the points that matter in detail. A very broad topic and close to the bone for many TV folk. A good effort Jafo.

I am guessing that KhunPa is still relatively young based on his dialogue.

Just remember inside every older person, there is likely to be a younger person trying to fathom what the hell happened!

 

  • Like 2
Posted

One of the BIG differences between Thai women and Western women is that most Thai women  over 40 are not very much about looks and sex.... and more about a stable and caring relationship, something that is not easy to achieve with Thai men. Probably 30 years or more age difference may be a problem in any culture, but couples with up 20 years or more age difference are now very common here and abroad. Genetically, men are able to keep their bodies in better shape than women, and are more sexual active than women. Also men are more inclined to appreciate physical beauty than women.... at any age.... and get divorced because their wives do not look so good at the same age.

Most women instead got divorced for others reasons... most because men infidelity. Getting married with older men may avoid that possibility.

This is Thailand, were beautiful and younger Thai women are worry that they will be cheated by their older and ugly farang husbands.

Posted
30 minutes ago, Faz said:

Lets not forget a Thai woman over the age of 30, regards herself as 'old', with very few Thai men being interested in anything but sex.

 

Very true Faz, Sadly here any woman over early 30's is considered "nearing" old age  and many have a hard time finding a man. There is lots of pressure to get married once 30 hits. But those times are changing. But again we have to consider demographics; BKK versus say Isaan or somewhere removed from city life. People in BKK are busy with life and careers, country living is opposite. 

 

While a bit off topic, I have always been amazed how many beautiful mature older women are around. I am talking 38- 50. They are established, great personalities just never found the right man or had some bad relationships. But these women tend to intimidate some foreigners as they are established and do not need hand outs (in fact many are quite well off due to business holdings or land they own). But with this you find out if they genuinely like being with you versus the "Hand out for Trade" program because they can walk without any issue. You will not find these women on all the Thai internet dating sites. That's for the young girls looking for a meal ticket. If you want to meet the other types you have to get out and meet them and its usually by chance.

 

 

  • Like 2
Posted
12 hours ago, swissie said:

Side Effects? Every prescription drug comes with a pamphlet, warning of "side effects".


- In case of a Farang/Thai marriage with an age difference of 20 years or more, the "side effects" may well be:


" Increased risk of Heart-Aches, Head-Aches. Belly-Aches and uncontrollable attacks of despair". Concerning the Farang: "May also lead to financial diarrhea as an additional risk factor".


Problem is: Nobody reads those pamphlets that come with prescription drugs.
Cheers.

this is good, fairly straight forward information but a 50 years old guy with a 20 something year old girlfriend will refuse to believe it. 

Posted
10 hours ago, upside said:

 

Funny you mention Joan Collins as well preserved,  she's been dead for over a year. 

Really? If you and your friends who "Liked" your remark check this link you will see that "Dame" Joan Collins is 83 years young and still alive and kicking   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Collins  Kinda tics me off when so many TV posters submit inncorect information on visas or other subjects because they are know it all's who are too lazy to verify their facts.

  • Like 2
Posted
9 hours ago, eldragon said:

 

Do you think this is definitely the case for every young woman who married an older man? Can you imagine a scenario where a girl was only with a man for opportunity and was left emotionally damaged b/c she wasted her youthful years on him?

 

  The "girl being emotionally damaged " !!!!

What about the guys ?

Typically and older guy will come to Thailand, meet a younger lady , sets up a house , gives her all she wants , spends alot of his hard earned money setting up a new life for himself with the Thai wife with the view to living happily ever after .   

Something happens, like the Thai Baht appreciating by 25% , he decided to cut back on his spending and stop giving money to her family .

   She them leaves, taking the house and kids with her and shes off looking fo someone richer to support her, leaving the felang to live in a cheap condo on the 10 th floor, too old and poor to start again , just drinks all day and thinking about whether he should join the flying club .

    

  • Like 1
Posted
12 hours ago, khunpa said:

 

Look, If I was bitter or jealous, I would just buy a 30 year younger girlfriend myself. (although it would be illegal). 

 

Do you really truly believe that if money was not the only issue,  then young girls would be interested in these older men at all???

 

If so, then why do we not see tons of these kind of relationships around the world?  Just look at any online dating site. ANY normal woman will be looking for a man near her own age or someone slightly older. Not many will seek a Grand Dad to partner up with. Its not being bitter or jealous.... its being REALISTIC!

 

And I do not believe a 25 year old woman finds it "intimate" kissing her 65 year old "boyfriend" after bathing him and clipping his toe nails.  Its like buying a hooker and believing she really likes you. Plain stupid!

 

Would you enjoy marrying someone that could be your Grand Mother? Very few people would and the main reason people do it, is because of some kind of financial benefit. (People who believe that will make them happy. And if you are extremely poor, you will and can be forced to do things you deep down do not want, but feel you have to do)

 



 

 

 

I feel you may be confusing two things, love and lust.  Many of the young women who marry much older falangs do so after having relationships (and often children) with young Thai men, who move on once they get bored having sex with the same person.

 

In my (admittedly limited) experience few of the Thai girls who marry foreigners much older than themselves are "in love" in the romantic, sexual sense. Often, they are seeking the affection, devotion and financial security they lacked with their previous partner or boyfriend.

 

Being old or ugly doesn't necessarily make a man unattractive sexually to a younger woman. The sexes are rather different in this respect, fortunately for us older men.

 

In any case, the physical side of any long-term relationship tends to diminish over time and feelings such as genuine affection, admiration, respect (the elements of real love) often grow to give a sense of intimacy which half an hour's athletics in the bedroom is no match for.  

 

The proof of the pudding is plain to see here, with the many relatively young Thai women and older falangs one comes across, who are clearly happy. Many of them go on to have children together, not to boost the male partner's ego, but as an expression of love and confidence in the future.

 

Of course, there are Thai women who are simply gold diggers, who marry an old man in the hope that he will die and leave them a fortune. However, this is true everywhere and such hard-hearted creatures are fortunately in the minority.

 

In nearly two decades of residency here,  I am impressed by the loyalty of so many Thai women who repay the devotion and support of their older falang partners by taking care of them in their dotage.

 

These may not be marriages made in heaven (is any?) and they may not conform to the dubious  romantic stereotype which is almost guaranteed to disappoint. They do, however, bring considerable benefit to all parties concerned and make a significant contribution to the Thai economy and society as a whole, which has to be a plus.

 

And yes, in case you were wondering, I do speak from personal experience.

  • Like 2
Posted
14 hours ago, khunpa said:

Imagine you marrying a 30 year older woman and having to live with her every day for years, just to be able to survive and send some money back to your parents. 

 

I think any normal person would go insane at some point. But of course the older men here, who are married to women that could be their daughters, would disagree. But I am sure they would never themselves want to live or have sex with a 30 year older person. 

 

"True love" in these (Grand) Daddy / Daughter relationships are extremely rare, in my opinion. Which also often shows, when the money runs out. And of course it impacts the women involved. Imagine you bringing home and showing your friends a Grand Mother-Girlfriend. They all know why you are with her, which would make anyone normal person sick, when thinking closer about it. I doubt the girls feel great about it... In ALL ways.

 

I know this will be hard to swallow for the Grand Dads here. But I do not care. If you are running around with a 30-40 year younger Thai-girl and you believe she really loves being with you, then you are simply stupid, naive as hell and living in Fantasy Land.

 

If you do not agree on that, then go have sex with a 30-40 year older woman and lets hear how much you enjoyed that. At least I can understand the men who find a much younger partner and inside knows/accepts, what it is really all about. But the guys who believe a 20-30 year old girl, really loves being with a 50-70 year old man are simply lost mentally.

 

 

The OP doesn't mince his words !

Posted

18 years later, 21 years age difference, all going well, love her to bits & I am pretty sure she feels the same.

But to have kids at my age,,,, no way

  • Like 2
Posted
20 minutes ago, Krataiboy said:

 

 

Being old or ugly doesn't necessarily make a man unattractive sexually to a younger woman. The sexes are rather different in this respect, fortunately for us older men.

 

 

Would this be because younger women are blind and dumb?  Or because they are smart and sensitive to the "old ugly" man and make him FEEL this way?

  • Like 1
Posted
Just now, amykat said:

 

Would this be because younger women are blind and dumb?  Or because they are smart and sensitive to the "old ugly" man and make him FEEL this way?

 

 

Why don't you ask Donald Trump, or Henry Kissinger, or Rupert Murdoch - or , better still, their wives?

Posted
1 minute ago, Krataiboy said:

 

Why don't you ask Donald Trump, or Henry Kissinger, or Rupert Murdoch - or , better still, their wives?

 

I think it is clear, my answer is correct.

Posted

Up to the two people involved. Your opinion is that, but pontificating and looking down at those in such relationships is bad form my friend. Other words, stick to minding your own business a little more.

  • Like 1
Posted
6 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

Would this be because younger women are blind and dumb?  Or because they are smart and sensitive to the "old ugly" man and make him FEEL this way?

 

  Its a female species natural instinct , it is also a male natural instinct .

Females look for a male who can best provide for them and their off spring .

So Females do not look for young handsome poor guys to provide for them, they look for wealthy males .

   Males seek younger ladies, who are still able to reproduce and the younger females will still be around to take care of any off spring, long after they have gone .

   It is natural selection .

It is the basis of love and attraction

Posted
15 hours ago, khunpa said:

Imagine you marrying a 30 year older woman and having to live with her every day for years, just to be able to survive and send some money back to your parents. 

 

I think any normal person would go insane at some point. But of course the older men here, who are married to women that could be their daughters, would disagree. But I am sure they would never themselves want to live or have sex with a 30 year older person. 

 

"True love" in these (Grand) Daddy / Daughter relationships are extremely rare, in my opinion. Which also often shows, when the money runs out. And of course it impacts the women involved. Imagine you bringing home and showing your friends a Grand Mother-Girlfriend. They all know why you are with her, which would make anyone normal person sick, when thinking closer about it. I doubt the girls feel great about it... In ALL ways.

 

I know this will be hard to swallow for the Grand Dads here. But I do not care. If you are running around with a 30-40 year younger Thai-girl and you believe she really loves being with you, then you are simply stupid, naive as hell and living in Fantasy Land.

 

If you do not agree on that, then go have sex with a 30-40 year older woman and lets hear how much you enjoyed that. At least I can understand the men who find a much younger partner and inside knows/accepts, what it is really all about. But the guys who believe a 20-30 year old girl, really loves being with a 50-70 year old man are simply lost mentally.

 

 

You talk rubbish, every situation is different. I am 70 yrs. young and my wife of four years is now 23 yrs,.,  well grown up and just passed her "Barrister' exams, so she is intelligent. We are never separated. We often visit her parents and stay in small village, where we feel very welcome and comfortable. Her family often visit and stay with us. Neither of us think about age. I don't give money to any of the family etc, and support my wife in the normal marital way. She never asks for anything else. We are devoted to each other, and could not be happier. Before you ask, the sex life is normal.

  • Like 1
Posted
15 hours ago, khunpa said:

But the guys who believe a 20-30 year old girl, really loves being with a 50-70 year old man are simply lost mentally.

 

 

 

   Could you clarify what the subject matter is .

30 year old and a 50 year old is a 20 year age difference .

20 year old and a 70 year old is a 50 year age difference .

What age difference are we discussing, as the age difference range seems to change with each post .

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