Modesty In Children

[tutsiwarrior]

thai women are modest except within the throes of passion. Just now I was with the family and a 9 y.o. niece complained of being uncomfortable and her mother removed her top. She was sitting in front of me and she was sticky...I said go and do a short ab nam. She returned and it was clear that she was uncomfortable being nud_e waist up with other men in the audience. She's just a little girl with no tits...I usually carry a towel for sweat purposes and wrapped it around her little shoulders for which she was grateful.

in the west we encourage kids to go nud_e so as to have them come to terms with their little bodies...not so in Thailand? My 13 y.o. stepdaughter loves crawling into bed with us and I hate it as I don't like dirty street clothes in the bed...she is loathe to remove clothes although I am certain that she knows that I would never touch her with just her panties on and sleeping next to me...

LOS...the land of smiles and contradictions...anyone seen anything similar? There is an obsession with modesty here that one would not expect...

[November Rain]

My little boy has just started to be modest about his body (he's 5). I'm not sure where it's come from, as he's exactly the same with me, perhaps from school where the children do shower once a day.

We were at the beach a couple of weeks ago & I was changing him from his knickers into his swimming trunks. It's never been a problem for him before, but this time he was obviously shy & said that everyone was looking at him (which, of course, wasn't true), so next time we're at the beach, I guess I'll have to change him behind the cover of a towel.

[Nawtilus]

My boy 4 and half, just started with this a little bit recently, him and his little sister will run around home naked and love it, but when someone is around he starts to get shy now.

I think it starts around school age, other kids, varying views from other kids families etc all has an effect.

[leisurely]

If only it started at school age. The youngest still flashes at any and everyone, the eldest 8, has started to cover herself a bit.

On a different note, I don't think that your 13 year old should be getting into bed witgh you, I don't doubt it is all perfectly innocent, but tongues COULD wag

[tutsiwarrior]

If only it started at school age. The youngest still flashes at any and everyone, the eldest 8, has started to cover herself a bit.

On a different note, I don't think that your 13 year old should be getting into bed witgh you, I don't doubt it is all perfectly innocent, but tongues COULD wag

I've considered this but it's my wife's call...she doesn't sleep with us often, she just sort of insinuates herself...she's a big girl and what she does is try to force me out of the bed so she can sleep alone with her mother...keep having to flop her over or there would be an uncomfortable entanglement...most of the family sleep in thai fashion together on the floor next door at Mama's...I've often woken up with the stepdaughter's arms and legs around me which I don't mind as I like to cuddle but it disturbes my sleep...plus I have to keep my shorts on and I prefer to sleep naked...

my wife is all the kids' favorite auntie...if our bed was big enough I sure we would have all of them sleeping with us every night...head nits and all

Edited December 3, 2006 by tutsiwarrior

[JacknDanny]

My little boy has just started to be modest about his body (he's 5). I'm not sure where it's come from, as he's exactly the same with me, perhaps from school where the children do shower once a day.

We were at the beach a couple of weeks ago & I was changing him from his knickers into his swimming trunks. It's never been a problem for him before, but this time he was obviously shy & said that everyone was looking at him (which, of course, wasn't true), so next time we're at the beach, I guess I'll have to change him behind the cover of a towel.

Mine is exactly the same. I have never said anything to him about putting a towel around himself whilst in the house. But if he gets out of the bath and has to go downstairs, he will always put a towel around him if the maid is there. If it is just me and him he doesnt bother.

If there is a film on TV that shows a man kissing a woman passionately, he tells me " Daddy I dont think I should see this" and turns his face away

He is 5 yrs old. Hes just like his old man

[teddy_bare]

i like the way thai women are initially shy in the relationship, but adapt quickly (if no other family members about). Mine likes to walk about the house naked, much to my enjoyment. when i quiz her about not being shy now, she sez it's my fault. She has be exposed to farang ways!! Exposed yes. makes me smile

[teddy_bare]

My little boy has just started to be modest about his body (he's 5). I'm not sure where it's come from, as he's exactly the same with me, perhaps from school where the children do shower once a day.

We were at the beach a couple of weeks ago & I was changing him from his knickers into his swimming trunks. It's never been a problem for him before, but this time he was obviously shy & said that everyone was looking at him (which, of course, wasn't true), so next time we're at the beach, I guess I'll have to change him behind the cover of a towel.

Mine is exactly the same. I have never said anything to him about putting a towel around himself whilst in the house. But if he gets out of the bath and has to go downstairs, he will always put a towel around him if the maid is there. If it is just me and him he doesnt bother.

If there is a film on TV that shows a man kissing a woman passionately, he tells me " Daddy I dont think I should see this" and turns his face away

He is 5 yrs old. Hes just like his old man

There seems an age related thread here. Might be because at a certain age, children futher realise themselves as individuals. The oncoming of shyness(or at least modesty) is surely a combination of self- awareness and social conditioning at home and beyond.

[sbk]

I've always wondered if the modesty comes from being teased about body parts as very young children. I don't know about other parts of Thailand but where I live it is very common for Thai men to tease a young boy about his willy, attempt to pull his pants down in public etc. I guess its supposed to be lighthearted but I, personally, have never found it funny. Just humiliating for the child.

That said, I've never seen this kind of teasing done to girls, only boys but suspect they learn rather quickly from their mothers to cover up.

[teddy_bare]

I've always wondered if the modesty comes from being teased about body parts as very young children. I don't know about other parts of Thailand but where I live it is very common for Thai men to tease a young boy about his willy, attempt to pull his pants down in public etc. I guess its supposed to be lighthearted but I, personally, have never found it funny. Just humiliating for the child.

That said, I've never seen this kind of teasing done to girls, only boys but suspect they learn rather quickly from their mothers to cover up.

All part of growing up i guess. A lot worst things can happen

[November Rain]

I've always wondered if the modesty comes from being teased about body parts as very young children. I don't know about other parts of Thailand but where I live it is very common for Thai men to tease a young boy about his willy, attempt to pull his pants down in public etc. I guess its supposed to be lighthearted but I, personally, have never found it funny. Just humiliating for the child.

My littl'un's father used to do that to him all the time. It used to infuriate me & I was forever telling him off for doing it!

[tutsiwarrior]

If only it started at school age. The youngest still flashes at any and everyone, the eldest 8, has started to cover herself a bit.

On a different note, I don't think that your 13 year old should be getting into bed witgh you, I don't doubt it is all perfectly innocent, but tongues COULD wag

I've considered this but it's my wife's call...she doesn't sleep with us often, she just sort of insinuates herself...she's a big girl and what she does is try to force me out of the bed so she can sleep alone with her mother...keep having to flop her over or there would be an uncomfortable entanglement...most of the family sleep in thai fashion together on the floor next door at Mama's...I've often woken up with the stepdaughter's arms and legs around me which I don't mind as I like to cuddle but it disturbes my sleep...plus I have to keep my shorts on and I prefer to sleep naked...

my wife is all the kids' favorite auntie...if our bed was big enough I sure we would have all of them sleeping with us every night...head nits and all

the 13 y.o. step daughter is now sleeping on my side of the bed again...she is fully clothed (shorts and t-shirt) and freshly washed. The pretext is that yesterday she had some abdominal pain in the area of her appendecctomy scar after exercising...she is taking medication and her mother wants to supervise.

This is all a bit disturbing as she is old enough for the arrangement with me in the bed to be inappropriate. However she is still a kid in her head and if I wake to find her with her arms and legs around me it is perfectly innocent...she's just a kid that likes to cuddle. The wife doesn't find any of this unusual...something that I cannot make a judgement about as I am not thai.

Has anyone else had the experience of a communal sleeping arrangement as described? I have fallen asleep on the floor with the other nieces to wake up and find that they are asleep contented next to me with no problems. Maybe just a falang problem? Thais never sleep alone, fear of ghosts or whatever and I have often seen other adult family sleeping together with the children in perfectly normal fashion. My wife is a smart lady and if there was ever any impropriety she would immediately put a stop to it. Maybe it's just that her family is poor and very close and these sleeping arrangements are from necessity.

anyone?

[Ijustwannateach]

From what I see of Thai rural families, they may often have only one room suitable for sleeping in (bed, mosquito net, etc.) so necessity means they sleep together; furthermore Thai culture in general is more "touchy"- people don't see the need to be afraid that everyone's going to think that "touching=sex." That's more of a farang neurosis.

[loong]

I've always wondered if the modesty comes from being teased about body parts as very young children. I don't know about other parts of Thailand but where I live it is very common for Thai men to tease a young boy about his willy, attempt to pull his pants down in public etc. I guess its supposed to be lighthearted but I, personally, have never found it funny. Just humiliating for the child.

That said, I've never seen this kind of teasing done to girls, only boys but suspect they learn rather quickly from their mothers to cover up.

I have often seen this teasing done to boys and girls and mostly by women. Some Women seem to take great delight in fondling both boys' and girls' genitals even when well past the age of puberty.

Adult females often fondle each other as well, i believe just for fun - I'm sure they can't all be homosexual

I have never seen a Thai man fondle a young girl, tho. I guess that must still be taboo in Thailand.

I have slept in the same bed as Pubescent girls (fully clothed), but the Mother/Aunt has always slept between.

I have even had a previous girlfriend wanting sex while her 14 year old niece slept next to us. This is something that I am definitely uncomfortable with, but for many Thais - what's the problem?. After all families often sleep together and the new babies have to come from somewhere.

I believe that many Farang (myself included) have too many hang ups, maybe scared to indulge in innocent fun with children for fear of their actions being misconstrued. The local kids (aged 6 to 10) used to love playing in the lake while I was swimming and would often jump and climb all over me. I was not comfortable with this at first, but was eventually able to enjoy it for what it was - innocent fun.

[tutsiwarrior]

my concern is that it could get around that a pubescent girl was sleeping in the same bed as her FALANG stepfather...some adult, especially school teachers who are trained to watch out for signs of sexual abuse could pick it up and misconstrue. The family, especially my wife don't give a shit...kids and adults sleeping together is normal.

we have had sex with the 4 y.o. niece sleeping with us...little kids sleep like logs and wouldn't wake up if the roof caved in. But if I want some

action in the afternoon after the kids come home from school then the door gets locked, the curtains are drawn and the wife wants to get it over with as quickly as possible....terrified that one of the older girls might discover us...

there are a lot of inconsistencies...I've just had to go with the flow when at home in Suphan. Sometimes it's better when we are abroad and can have sex in the living room or on the kitchen table anytime we want. The kids never sleep with us when they are visiting when we are overseas...

[Jockstar]

Guess. Its a Thai thing. I wouldnt be too comfortable with it though.

[gburns57au]

A friend had a niece who he has known a long time now....when she was pre teen he would give her a cuddle quite often....once she started to develop he stopped doing this...She was about 13 or 14 when she complained to her Auntie that he never cuddled her and thought it meant he didnt care for her anymore. It was explained to her that it was because she was developing outwardly....her response was, "why should that matter"

I think from a male perspective that once a young girl does start to develop, that we get hang ups about it....we would go and give an older lady a cuddle and a kiss if we knew them well and nothing would be thought of it...but when it comes to young teen girls ???

It is a sad world when you cant show affection without it being tainted as something dirty.