Are Thai girls too kind to say no?

[Jinxed]

I really need help with something that's been on my mind, the behavior of thai girls confuse me alot and if anything I'll end up avoiding if I don't understand. I notice they never say no in situations - and it makes decision making very hard and confusing. My question is lets say a Thai girl goes out with you on a date, but she feels no emotional connection.. would she just agree to go on another date with you regardless just being nice? Do thai girls actually say "hey look it's been great but im not so interested" or are they too kind to reject? Let's for instance say its not of monetary value to her, would a girl be ok with hurting a guys feelings

[Berkshire]

Thai girls (or Thais in general) are largely non-confrontational.  They do not want to directly hurt any guys' feelings.  So what they would do is just stop answering the phone when you call and hope you get the message.  They'd rather you just disappear rather than having to tell you to your face (or even on the phone) that they don't like you.  Now if you have to see each other normally (like work or live in the same building)....well, then that can be a bit tough for both parties. 

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, Jinxed said:

I really need help with something that's been on my mind, the behavior of thai girls confuse me alot and if anything I'll end up avoiding if I don't understand.

 

[Jinxed]

12 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Thai girls (or Thais in general) are largely non-confrontational.  They do not want to directly hurt any guys' feelings.  So what they would do is just stop answering the phone when you call and hope you get the message.  They'd rather you just disappear rather than having to tell you to your face (or even on the phone) that they don't like you.  Now if you have to see each other normally (like work or live in the same building)....well, then that can be a bit tough for both parties. 

 

Ok I understand, so they wouldn't just blindly say yes to follow up meetings if they didn't actually want to go (for one reason or another).

 

Don't work or live close so that's not a problem. Thank you

[Berkshire]

11 minutes ago, Jinxed said:

 

Ok I understand, so they wouldn't just blindly say yes to follow up meetings if they didn't actually want to go (for one reason or another).

 

Don't work or live close so that's not a problem. Thank you

 

Pretty much.  Just understand that with some Thai girls, their options are always open, i.e., looking to trade up.  They'll string you along just in case they in fact can't do any better.  So if she's only lukewarm about you and someone else comes along that fits her specs, then it's bye bye.  

[Jinxed]

19 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

 

Pretty much.  Just understand that with some Thai girls, their options are always open, i.e., looking to trade up.  They'll string you along just in case they in fact can't do any better.  So if she's only lukewarm about you and someone else comes along that fits her specs, then it's bye bye.  

 

Fair enough, I didn't really feel a connection anyway - thought hey maybe she didn't either but is just too scared to say as Thai girls are too nice. Dating is hard enough without the added mindfuck haha

Edited November 8, 2016 by Jinxed

[1FinickyOne]

You have to be careful as to how you word a question since saying "no" is not considered polite by many... not sure in your particular situation but if you are looking for the post office, you are better off to ask, "Where is the post office?" rather than, "Is the post office this way?" which implies an answer. If the PO is not that way, some will feel impolite if they say no... 

[timewilltell]

Thai girls will do whatever is good for them with no regard for you at all basically. As already said Thais mostly avoid confrontation though with males and toms things seem to changing. so a girl will likely say Yes or try to deflect rather than an outright refusal - probably because Thai males can't accept refusal. western girls do the same sometimes but are more likely to be more straightforward on average. 

[dotpoom]

5 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Thai girls (or Thais in general) are largely non-confrontational.  They do not want to directly hurt any guys' feelings.  So what they would do is just stop answering the phone when you call and hope you get the message.  They'd rather you just disappear rather than having to tell you to your face (or even on the phone) that they don't like you.  Now if you have to see each other normally (like work or live in the same building)....well, then that can be a bit tough for both parties. 

I would suggest that the largest proportion of the world's population do not like hurting other people. . . Tact might be an individual thing. 

[grumbleweed]

5 hours ago, Jinxed said:

as Thai girls are too nice

"Welcome to my world" said the spider to the fly.

You stand at the bottom of a very steep learning curve. Pretty soon you're gonna know what it feels like to be mugged by a bowl of strawberries and cream

[Jinxed]

9 minutes ago, timewilltell said:

Thai girls will do whatever is good for them with no regard for you at all basically. As already said Thais mostly avoid confrontation though with males and toms things seem to changing. so a girl will likely say Yes or try to deflect rather than an outright refusal - probably because Thai males can't accept refusal. western girls do the same sometimes but are more likely to be more straightforward on average. 

 

From what I hear as a summary in this thread it's better to just not get involved which I'm fine with, the situation was we had a date, we said our goodbyes and said love to do it again, she said yes. She messaged back home that I should pick the place next time (she picked first time) as a follow up and that was that. 

 

Western girls most definitely do not do this, while tactful they don't go along with something if they don't have a connection.

[Jinxed]

17 minutes ago, grumbleweed said:

"Welcome to my world" said the spider to the fly.

You stand at the bottom of a very steep learning curve. Pretty soon you're gonna know what it feels like to be mugged by a bowl of strawberries and cream

 

You're definitely overstating how little grip I have on reality, I'm not some big sucker lol - like I said I didn't really feel a connection anyway but the point of the thread is I know for a fact Thai girls are far more polite than western girls (most even may be just after $$$ but they are still definitely more polite even if its fake), so I wanted to make sure it's not to the point where they say yes to things because they fear being mean. Saying yes when they mean no.. I don't like that, is it wrong to ask?

I don't even have money to give haha, just wanted to understand how much of it all is BS

Edited November 8, 2016 by Jinxed

[NickJ]

Invite her over to your place and answer the door in your underwear 

[Minnehaha]

they say yes to all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons.

it is the "no" that you should be on the look out for

I guess that is actually your question. 

So, then the answer is yes. you have to listen for the "no". 

otherwise, the answer is yes.

now that we got this straightened out ... 

you will do very well in Thailand

[Toscano]

It all depends on how much money you give her or how many Baht of Gold .

[Jinxed]

As a wise scary black man once said, "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" - Dr Dre
 

He must have been in the same predicament

Edited November 8, 2016 by Jinxed

[cracker1]

In a lot of situations a Thai ngirl can not say NO. It is a cultural thing.

[cracker1]

In a lot of situations a Thai girl can not say NO. It is a cultural thing.

[gemguy]

Some are..... some are not ..

Some do.... some do not

Some kiss .....some do not

Some speak...some do not

Some show affection...some do not

Some will sleep with you...Some will not.

 

Not rocket science my friend.

 

Cheers

 

 

[Jinxed]

2 minutes ago, gemguy said:

Some are..... some are not ..

Some do.... some do not

Some kiss .....some do not

Some speak...some do not

Some show affection...some do not

Some will sleep with you...Some will not.

 

Not rocket science my friend.

 

Cheers

 

Well according to the answers Yes can mean No, which sometimes just means Yes all along - but a Yes could very much mean Maybe, which in all case is a definite no. 

I believe this is harder than rocket science

[ChrisKC]

7 hours ago, Jinxed said:

 

Ok I understand, so they wouldn't just blindly say yes to follow up meetings if they didn't actually want to go (for one reason or another).

 

Don't work or live close so that's not a problem. Thank you

It's easier for a Thai girl to agree another date and not turn up than to say, sorry, no!

[villagefarang]

You are questioning the girl’s motivation and sincerity when perhaps you should be questioning your own.  I find myself wondering why you are offering the follow up date when you are admittedly not feeling the connection.  It sounds like you are perhaps the one doing the mindfuck or aren’t you nice enough to let her get on with her life since you are not really interested?

[itsuptome]

Thais tend to be conflict averse and will often agree to do something simply to avoid confrontation, then go and NOT do it, and hope you get the message. This applies to dating as much as anything else. I once tried to schedule a date with a girl I really liked three times. Every time she said yes and then didn't show up. Eventually I got pissed off and blew up at her. She seemed both upset and a bit bewildered by my reaction.

 

They are often better at picking up on these cues than we are and they may not realize that we don't get the subtle hints they're dropping (not that there was anything hard to read about her flaking THREE times, I just didn't want to see it).

[Jinxed]

4 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

You are questioning the girl’s motivation and sincerity when perhaps you should be questioning your own.  I find myself wondering why you are offering the follow up date when you are admittedly not feeling the connection.  It sounds like you are perhaps the one doing the mindfuck or aren’t you nice enough to let her get on with her life since you are not really interested?

 

I am most definitely an idiot for that, I realised later that I didn't feel any connection - I am very stupid for acting before thinking.

If the yes was a yes, I would still go on the date and treat it like a new first date 

[itsuptome]

If I may add something else, I don't think it means much if you don't feel a lot of chemistry on the first date. Some Thai women are very reserved about displaying their feelings toward men.  It could be the best date of her life and she still might not feel comfortable holding your hand or saying something flirty. I think it's dangerous to chase very hard here, but the pace can be a lot slower than back at home and if you like her there's a lot to be said for spending more time together and seeing if her disposition changes as she grows more comfortable with you.

 

[madusa]

On 07/11/2016 at 6:53 PM, Kwasaki said:

 

It seems to me idiots in this world have increased few million times,( includes those taking selfies and playing games in restaurants and trains. Just can't stand them anymore.

Will some kind soul tell this guy above you can't cure migraine like that. Too much fluid built up in the brain health care too expensive so went to walmart and just bought a drill ( D.I.Y. they called it)

[sandemara]

Think of yourself as a smelly, drooly not very bright cocker spaniel who tries very hard to please but doesn't always understand the instructor's commands.  This is a fair summation of your relationship with a girl you've just met and want to impress.  If she doesn't keep patting you on the head and telling you "good boy' it's safe to assume you're heading back to the pound at the end of the night. Good luck next time.

[madusa]

On 08/11/2016 at 0:14 AM, kenk24 said:

You have to be careful as to how you word a question since saying "no" is not considered polite by many... not sure in your particular situation but if you are looking for the post office, you are better off to ask, "Where is the post office?" rather than, "Is the post office this way?" which implies an answer. If the PO is not that way, some will feel impolite if they say no... 

Yes, especially in Iran. In Iran culture is it impolite to say you don't know. So they even say to you, " if you go straight and take the first turning and then further down turn right". They give you something rather than being rude by saying , "I don't know". See what kind of culture that is. Amazing isn't it?

[madusa]

Don't talk too much just take her to the hotel (not any hotel, you need to do some homework, find those out of the town partly hidden from public) . If she doesn't want to go to the hotel , fine, go home or whatever.

[Jinxed]

I take back this comment, I'm not sure if its a thai exclusive thing - people are shit everywhere

Edited November 8, 2016 by Jinxed