How much do you give your wife/gf to spend for food and stuff

[evadgib]

My wife has her own a/c from which she pays all monthly living expences and has enough in reserve for the odd fastball. In all the years that we have done this it was worked perfectly.

[amykat]

39 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

I own my condo, utilities are auto-paid from my account, pay water, insurance and internet. We have a washing machine so laundry is done at home. I pay for entertainment and dining out.

 

There is only food and household incidentals to look after, and disposable pocket money. The question is about those items only. I shop, alone and with her already. I want to give the responsibility to her to manage the household stuff and do whatever she wants with the rest so I don't have to discuss endlessly the trivial details.

 

 

 

You want to  ..because you don't want to think about it.  She won't care to think about it, because it is YOUR money. The only thing she will think about it, is how to keep more of it for herself.  She also will not really know what things to buy you.  You said you don't work and you don't want to her work so that you can spend time together.  So do big shopping, like Tesco or whatever, together.  Send her to the fresh market, if you like, alone.  Give her a budget for hair, makeup, clothing, and things like that, or buy her clothing as gifts ..send money to her family if that is what you want to do. Don't ASK her how much money ... she won't tell you ...she wants as much as possible ..she doesn't want to find a limit!!  You decide ...pick low and work from there.  You can always go up ..not easy to work backwards.

 

If you try to get Thais to make decisions for you ..they will make the WRONG ones ..depend on it!!  Ask them to pick a bed for you, it will be exactly what you don't want. Ask them to pick a shirt for you ..you will hate it.  Do not try to give over responsibilities to this woman.  We know things, listen to us! Don't be lazy.  

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

13 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

WHAT?????!!!!

 

Why is it "only fair"??

If she wanted to work, she'd be working.

She's not working now, is she? She's not living on the street now, is she? So why does he have to make her feel like she is working? Isn't his company a good enough benefit for her to move in?

 

People following advice like this are lining themselves up to lose here...........badly!

He does not want her to work... He is talking of this as a "negotiation" - - reads like a business deal... surely you know that is how many people approach having a live-in here... sounds like you don't like that type of arrangement... which is fine and if he does it is fine too... 

 

He is already complaining that she does not use nouns... come to Thailand, buy a condo, then complain that people don't speak the same way as he does... maybe the time spent on Thai visa asking others how much his expenses are would be better spent in one trip to a supermarket... but then... he couldn't complain that others are illogical... 

[473geo]

7 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

You want to  ..because you don't want to think about it.  She won't care to think about it, because it is YOUR money. The only thing she will think about it, is how to keep more of it for herself.  She also will not really know what things to buy you.  You said you don't work and you don't want to her work so that you can spend time together.  So do big shopping, like Tesco or whatever, together.  Send her to the fresh market, if you like, alone.  Give her a budget for hair, makeup, clothing, and things like that, or buy her clothing as gifts ..send money to her family if that is what you want to do. Don't ASK her how much money ... she won't tell you ...she wants as much as possible ..she doesn't want to find a limit!!  You decide ...pick low and work from there.  You can always go up ..not easy to work backwards.

 

If you try to get Thais to make decisions for you ..they will make the WRONG ones ..depend on it!!  Ask them to pick a bed for you, it will be exactly what you don't want. Ask them to pick a shirt for you ..you will hate it.  Do not try to give over responsibilities to this woman.  We know things, listen to us! Don't be lazy.  

 

 

If you read the posts on the thread then your last paragraph appears to be contrary to stated facts, in that many have declared their wives/partners to be very capable.

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, kenk24 said:

He does not want her to work... He is talking of this as a "negotiation" - - reads like a business deal... surely you know that is how many people approach having a live-in here... sounds like you don't like that type of arrangement... which is fine and if he does it is fine too... 

 

He is already complaining that she does not use nouns... come to Thailand, buy a condo, then complain that people don't speak the same way as he does... maybe the time spent on Thai visa asking others how much his expenses are would be better spent in one trip to a supermarket... but then... he couldn't complain that others are illogical... 

Yeah I realise that many approach live-ins in this way - that's my point - they're letting themselves in for major disappointment.

Not because of any intrinsic failings on either party's side but because of the implication that some form of compensation is required over and above the basic attraction between them.

 

Why does the deal need to be sweetened with a pay off?

Surely her life will be improved enough by moving into a new, modern condo.

Why does she have to be compensated further with a stipend that allows her to send money home?

 

Can't you see that this sets a tone; namely that she deserves compensation.

But why would she deserve compensation?

Is she a stunner who's 40 years younger than the OP?

Is he hideously disfigured and the girl needs to be paid to endure the trauma of facing him between the sheets?

 

[amykat]

3 minutes ago, 473geo said:

If you read the posts on the thread then your last paragraph appears to be contrary to stated facts, in that many have declared their wives/partners to be very capable.

Their wives and partners of many years, who they got to know well. Not a newbie who is just moving a girl in ...this is good advice I am giving. This is good advice for any couple in any country really ...you don't just start giving away responsibilities like this ..but certainly not in cross-cultural relationships where the thinking and education is so different.

[JoeBloe]

29 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

He does not want her to work... He is talking of this as a "negotiation" - - reads like a business deal... surely you know that is how many people approach having a live-in here... sounds like you don't like that type of arrangement... which is fine and if he does it is fine too... 

 

He is already complaining that she does not use nouns... come to Thailand, buy a condo, then complain that people don't speak the same way as he does... maybe the time spent on Thai visa asking others how much his expenses are would be better spent in one trip to a supermarket... but then... he couldn't complain that others are illogical... 

I don't mind if she works, I did not say I did not want her to. I expressed a preference for my partner to be there when I am, i.e. all the time.

 

Nouns are not unique to English and exist in Thai. It is however strange to hear "something", "someone", "somewhere", "that", "it" and so on, in sentences that are context free (no nearby noun). It is an observation, not a complaint, but it makes communication very imprecise - unless like the TV commentarderie, one can read minds.

 

I have been to BigC and the markets often enough. However do you know the ingredients for the 27 different Thai dishes she might like to cook or what they cost? Thought not, neither do I. The one item I know pretty much exactly is "water by the bottle". Shit, I don't even know what a can of beer costs at BigC (I don't drink that much).

 

Not knowing something is not a crime. Asking others for a ballpark number as advice here isn't either.

 

Half (made up statistic) the posts in this thread do not address my initial question or my subsequent posts.

Edited January 28, 2017 by MichaelBates
grammar

[Peterw42]

It appears, for some, to be a very fine line between a GF you take care of, and a maid you have sex with.

 

 

[Redmouse]

We're a western family - 2 adults, 1 child; I have 3000 baht per week for grocery and household shopping, etc.  We eat at home Monday to Friday on this.  Husband picks up the restaurant bills at the weekend.  

[JoeBloe]

1 minute ago, Redmouse said:

We're a western family - 2 adults, 1 child; I have 3000 baht per week for grocery and household shopping, etc.  We eat at home Monday to Friday on this.  Husband picks up the restaurant bills at the weekend.  

That is close to my original estimate.

[JoeBloe]

2 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

It appears, for some, to be a very fine line between a GF you take care of, and a maid you have sex with.

 

 

And I did write I did not want "a maid with the usual extras" early in the thread.

[AGareth2]

Neil Young said

A man needs a maid

[473geo]

21 minutes ago, amykat said:

Their wives and partners of many years, who they got to know well. Not a newbie who is just moving a girl in ...this is good advice I am giving. This is good advice for any couple in any country really ...you don't just start giving away responsibilities like this ..but certainly not in cross-cultural relationships where the thinking and education is so different.

He's asking her to take on the household budget for gods sake, same as millions of Thai women!! not run a million dollar portfolio!

 

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

That is close to my original estimate.

Why do you insist on guessing?  Think of it this way ...I hire you and tell you that I need you to provide a list of very unspecific things for me each month and here is $10,000 each month to do it. I won't be checking anything at all and whatever is left over  ..that is your money to do with as you please.

 

What would you do?

[AGareth2]

Just now, amykat said:

Why do you insist on guessing?  Think of it this way ...I hire you and tell you that I need you to provide a list of very unspecific things for me each month and here is $10,000 each month to do it. I won't be checking anything at all and whatever is left over  ..that is your money to do with as you please.

 

What would you do?

I'd take your 10K dollars

[LongTimeLurker]

14 hours ago, Don Mega said:

I dont give my missus any cash, she has the cards to my credit and savings accounts and she spends what needs to be spent.

Snap

 

But she gives me Baht 2,000 per week for my golf and petrol.

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, 473geo said:

He's asking her to take on the household budget for gods sake, same as millions of Thai women!! not run a million dollar portfolio!

 

Okay, and what is the number one problem with relationships here???

[AGareth2]

Now what would a Thai man do?

[Pungdo]

If I had a joint account with my wife I would have nothing for myself, I give her 15,000 baht per month which is supposed to pay for her "stuff" Phone, Bike fuel, etc etc, but it is never enough, some months it turns into 40,000 baht without her batting an eyelid, money just burns huge holes in her pocket.

We own the house so there is no rent, I pay for the weekly shopping which can at times nudge 5,000 baht, when my portion of it including a whole weeks food, is a mere 1,000 baht or so, I sometimes say to her, what the hell did you do with your cash, "oh I gave it to mum", the "Wicked witch of the north" my response is normally, "Well you can't both spend it".

I burn through A$3,500 a month, I could probably live comfortably back home in Oz on that, but between she who must be obeyed and the daughter, they burn through somewhere around A$2,500 of that, so in a nutshell, if you can somehow manage her spending, 10,000 - 15,000 ought to be plenty, lets face it, the average Thai on 300 a day only earns around 10,000 a month.

I sincerely hope you have a goodun.

[LongTimeLurker]

16 minutes ago, Redmouse said:

We're a western family - 2 adults, 1 child; I have 3000 baht per week for grocery and household shopping, etc.  We eat at home Monday to Friday on this.  Husband picks up the restaurant bills at the weekend.  

???????

 

Our weekly shopping at Makro comes to Baht 5,000, even before stopping to pick up what we need at Tesco and Big C Xtra.

[473geo]

1 minute ago, amykat said:

Okay, and what is the number one problem with relationships here???

Foreigners not displaying trust and encouraging confidence in their partners, thus causing insecurity issues in their other half?

[amykat]

1 minute ago, 473geo said:

Foreigners not displaying trust and encouraging confidence in their partners, thus causing insecurity issues in their other half?

 

I guess you don't live here.

[metisdead]

Troll posts and replies have been removed. 

 

Posts containing inappropriate language will be removed. 

Edited January 28, 2017 by metisdead

[AlexRich]

11 minutes ago, Pungdo said:

If I had a joint account with my wife I would have nothing for myself, I give her 15,000 baht per month which is supposed to pay for her "stuff" Phone, Bike fuel, etc etc, but it is never enough, some months it turns into 40,000 baht without her batting an eyelid, money just burns huge holes in her pocket.

We own the house so there is no rent, I pay for the weekly shopping which can at times nudge 5,000 baht, when my portion of it including a whole weeks food, is a mere 1,000 baht or so, I sometimes say to her, what the hell did you do with your cash, "oh I gave it to mum", the "Wicked witch of the north" my response is normally, "Well you can't both spend it".

I burn through A$3,500 a month, I could probably live comfortably back home in Oz on that, but between she who must be obeyed and the daughter, they burn through somewhere around A$2,500 of that, so in a nutshell, if you can somehow manage her spending, 10,000 - 15,000 ought to be plenty, lets face it, the average Thai on 300 a day only earns around 10,000 a month.

I sincerely hope you have a goodun.

Your wife and her daughter are spending around 66,000 Baht per month, and none of that is rent or mortgage? 

 

How much would they earn earn from a job? I'm guessing significantly less? I think you are over generous ... but each to their own.

 

66,000 = A$ 2,500

Edited January 28, 2017 by AlexRich

[Naam]

8 minutes ago, amykat said:

Okay, and what is the number one problem with relationships here???

the proverbial sick buffalo?

[AlexRich]

1 minute ago, MichaelBates said:

If y'all read TV enough, it is apparently greedy, hysterical, self-serving, evil bitches scamming unsuspecting farangs.

 

But that could be a sampling error.

"Trust me, I am Thai"

 

.... 473geo might buy that, but I'm afraid a wiser head would not.

[AlexRich]

15 minutes ago, amykat said:

Okay, and what is the number one problem with relationships here???

I'd guess it was funding the wider family, something that is virtually unheard of in the west. 

[maxtwo]

We are not full time residents but just done average week shop at big C 8000 but I don't eat Thai.

[amykat]

3 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

I'd guess it was funding the wider family, something that is virtually unheard of in the west. 

Well I was looking for a more simple answer ...MONEY.

[Get Real]

I can´t imagine how much problem so many people can have with the one they live with when it comes to money. It´s incredible how many people appearently make the wrong choises, and how many that make a choise of partner they not can trust and are willing to live with it. You people that do that and the OP should be ashamed of yourselfs. If you can´t handle the agreement with money or don´t know anything about how real relationships work, then you are just not fit for it.

Regards, though, to all that comment here and live together with people you can trust, and let them be a part of or responsible for the economy and the bills. That´s what me and my wife do too, and it gives both persons a responsibility and worth in a relationship. People that don´t understand that should just keep to themselfs, and occasionaly get a woman they can pay a regular amount for their services.

Edited January 28, 2017 by Get Real