Repudiation Of Paternity

[Cranky]

9 hours ago, J1li1White said:

Dear Sanemax,

 

First many thks for your quick reply

 

Do you confirm that police can't receive her complain and can't escalade it to a court ?

 

As I'm now working in BKK ... I'm pretty anxious

 

And what view would the French authorities take be on this situation.  What makes you think you can come here, knock up a local and walk away scot free ?

[ujayujay]

Yes, she can.

[brewsterbudgen]

1 hour ago, scorecard said:

 

Not good advice at all. The blanket assumption that all girls trap guys is not correct and blatantly unfair.

 

One night stand is immaterial, if he's the father he is responsible.  

I agree.  But if it was a genuine one-night stand, particularly if the sex was paid for, why would you keep in touch with the woman at all?  An 'out of the blue' claim from a Thai girl you slept with once.............I know what I would do.

[Gillyflower]

Maybe my maths aren't too good.....but you say you broke up in the beginning of April, so to end of December makes nine months.  She had the baby in January.  When in January and have you any proof that there IS a baby.  Also why didn't she let you know during the nine months?  Whilst I agree with much of what has been said above, I would be inclined to verify.  Bon courage, mon vieux.

[hdkane]

3 hours ago, dbrenn said:

She can take you to court and the court may order that the child be legitimised with you as its father. In such a case, the court may also order you to contribute to supporting the child until it reaches 20 years of age. 

 

Should have used a condom mate. 

 

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Child-Support-in-Thailand.php

 

Stop being a coward, and get the paternity test...nothing more low than a man who avoids the responsibility of fatherhood...if the kid is yours, man up...if dna proves the kid is not yours, learn the lesson and move on...

[frog555]

17 minutes ago, Cranky said:

And what view would the French authorities take be on this situation.  What makes you think you can come here, knock up a local and walk away scot free ?

Many guys have got their brain washed by feminism.

 

What do you think about the fact that the mother show up after 9 months only ?

Also, you don't ignore that his rights as a father are nonexistent.

 

 

[frog555]

13 minutes ago, hdkane said:

Stop being a coward, and get the paternity test...nothing more low than a man who avoids the responsibility of fatherhood...if the kid is yours, man up...if dna proves the kid is not yours, learn the lesson and move on...

 

What about rights of fatherhood ?

That is missing in your lesson.

[paulsingle]

OP you are such a weasel! 

You are afraid to take the test because you know you are the baby's father. 

You have (jointly) brought an innocent little baby into this world. From your point of view, it doesn't matter how difficult this child's life may be as long as you can weasel you way out of helping the child in anyway. 

This child could be the best thing that ever happens in your life.

Don't turn your back. Take the test and if the result is negative then you can walk away with impunity.

[JacChang]

As much as I dislike the original poster with due regards to how he is responding to this event, I do find the gf "awkward". Imagine you are the gf and you gave birth to a son, then you managed to contact one of your old boyfriends and wants him to get DNA testing done to confirm it's his child. Really put yourself in her shoes and the behavior. Sounds more to me, she has been sleeping around a lot, and is trying to find a father for the child. If you are devoted to one man during this period, how she would have reacted in this situation is completely different.

 

So this story is like completely the opposite. Original poster, stop being scared of the DNA test, it's YOU who should be wishing for a DNA test. Get it done the first thing tomorrow. If the results come out good for you, it proves your clean doesn't it? Or do you want to hide like a little boy? If the results does show you are the father, are you able to live in guilt knowing you abandoned your son without any responsibility like all human beings should have? You and your gf is over, but you have responsibility to be the father of the son. The things you do in life, will come back to you hard. Don't be a bad person, you will regret it.

[Deepinthailand]

Take the test. Then you know for sure. You don't have to stay with the mother just support the kid if yours. You say your working in BKK so no problems money wise. Nothing to be so worried about shit happens.  But don't let the child suffer if it is yours. I doubt the mother would be lying if she is adamant on a DNA test she must be a 100% sure it's yours.

As for the post above

 

"Imagine you are the gf and you gave birth to a son, then you managed to contact one of your old boyfriends and wants him to get DNA testing done to confirm it's his child. Really put yourself in her shoes and the behavior. Sounds more to me, she has been sleeping around a lot, and is trying to find a father for the child."

 

I have rarely seen such a load of rubbish.

.

 

Edited February 11, 2017 by Deepinthailand

[Caca4u]

I know the feeling you are going thru.

First she is trying to scare you by telling you she is going to the police.

U didnt commit any crime and this is a civil matter.

U dont have to pay anything to your ex gf since u were not married.

 

Change your phone number or move and just ignore her. disappear.

She sounds like the tipical money hungry isan girl

[Stevemercer]

You should stay out of it and let the lady pursue a civil action if she wishes. If she does so, then engage a lawyer and follow his/her advice. 

 

She wants a monetary payment from you. The chances are that any lump sum, or child maintenance, you give her will be spent by herself, for herself, with the child looked after by her family. Realistically, it is unlikely that you can improve the life of the mother, or the child (whomever is the father), except in a committed relationship with the mother (which is clearly impossible). 

 

Do not respond to her. If she does commence a legal action then lawyer up as I said before. Do not take a DNA test unless your lawyer advises. 

 

This is something that happened in the past. Leave it there and try and move on.

 

 

 

 

[Get Real]

Just man up! If you can use the tool, you can pay the bill.

[BaldPlumber]

Usually it's the mother who's reluctant to have a DNA test.

My human biology might be a bit sketchy, but isn't it normally assumed that the woman who gave birth to the child is its mother?

[humqdpf]

8 hours ago, loong said:

Would the police be interested?

It would surely be a civil, not criminal matter. They can't arrest you for anything.

I don't know how the courts work here, but I imagine that the court procedure would have to be started by her, not the police.

Even though it might be a civil matter, the mother of the child could get a court order and the police would then act on the basis of the court order. Going to the local police is often the first point of call for any such issue in life for Thais - in the USA or other countries, it might be to phone a lawyer. 

 

If I were in your shoes, I would just get the DNA test done without fuss for the following reasons:

1. I would like to know whether there is or is not a child of mine out there

2. I would not like to give the impression that if it is my child that I don't care

3. If it is not my child, the DNA tells me definitively.

 

Since the DNA test is so non-invasive (just a rub of your cheek with a sterile swab), I don't see why you are making such a fuss, about it unless it is because you think that the child might be yours. If it is, just man up to it and find a way of supporting her without having too much to do with the mother. And, next time either wear a condom or if you don't want children ever then get the snip.

[Retiredandhappyhere]

Child Support for Illegitimate Child

When a child is born out of marriage, the biological father of the child is NOT bound by law to pay for the financial support UNLESS the legitimation of the child in Thailand issue is brought to the court; then the court will decide such issues concerning legitimation, child custody, and child support in the same case.

 

Your ex-girlfriend would have to take the matter to court as the police would not be involved.  However, in fairness, you should undertake the DNA test and if it is proved that you are the father, you should agree to support the child until he/she is 20  years of age.

You said the relationship was stormy, so is it likely that you had unprotected sex with your ex-girlfriend as late as April 2016, since she claims to have had the baby in January ? If the DNA test is negative, then you can walk away with your conscience clear.  At present, you do not even have proof that there IS a baby, let alone yours.

[hansnl]

4 hours ago, dbrenn said:

She can take you to court and the court may order that the child be legitimised with you as its father. In such a case, the court may also order you to contribute to supporting the child until it reaches 20 years of age. 

 

Should have used a condom mate. 

 

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Child-Support-in-Thailand.php

 

In that case you leave Thailand.

There is no government office to transfer your support money to her.

Authorities in most European countries can force you to pay but only if they can send the money to a government office in the country where the claimant lives.

However, if it might be your child, why not feel obliged to pay the upkeep?

A DNA test, but not in Thailand, would make this clear.

 

[chuang]

Do the DNA test if you think the child is not yours. But I doubt it. Be responsible. Next time go to one of those bar or massage palour for PAID sex if you want to have fun. 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, frog555 said:

Many guys have got their brain washed by feminism.

 

What do you think about the fact that the mother show up after 9 months only ?

Also, you don't ignore that his rights as a father are nonexistent.

 

 

"Many guys have got their brain washed by feminism." you think you are a macho man because you abandon your child? If the child is yours and you go to court you get 50% custody. Maybe the mother thinks the OP is no good but she needs the money to take care of the child.

[elgordo38]

4 hours ago, Suradit69 said:

Not exactly "incredible." You do understand how the baby-producing procedure works, right?

Its time to license the procedure. I find it hard to believe that with all the fighting and bickering you were even able to get close enough for the mating process to take place. Reminds me of those videos where the female is many times larger than the male. "Proceed With Caution" The possibility that the child might be yours has been raised so get the DNA testing done and stand up and be a man (father) This appendage does come with responsibilities 

Edited February 11, 2017 by elgordo38

[RBOP]

Sounds like your being scammed. Ask for proof of the baby i.e. birth certificate, blood type and a picture before going any further. You definitely need a lawyer either way. Having a baby is not the end of the world for you either.

[mydee]

3 hours ago, mesquite said:

You should voluntarily take the DNA test.  If it shows the baby is not yours, she has no claim.  If it shows the baby is yours, you should pay child support as that is your responsibility.

My advice would be to take the DNA test privately and wait to see what happens. If you submit yourself to one organized by this woman or even give her the results there is a probability that she will of course say that  your DNA test proves paternity. She has a vested interest in a positive outcome so if you give her your results she can doctor her results  meet her desired outcome..

 

I have been in a similar situation, in another country, notwithstanding the fact that protection was involved I knew what the game was that I would be a social security provider and that the odds of paternity were minimal it was a worrying experience.

 

Saty strong

[Deepinthailand]

7 minutes ago, RBOP said:

Sounds like your being scammed. Ask for proof of the baby i.e. birth certificate, blood type and a picture before going any further. You definitely need a lawyer either way. Having a baby is not the end of the world for you either.

Are you for real! It never mentions money he says his ex girlfriend has a baby and it's his and wants him to have a DNA test. What do you think she's making it up get real.

[frog555]

The right wish of a father is that his kids live with him.

 

But with such a girl, if he pays then his chance to raise his own kid would be very low.

Because nowadays we live in matriarchy. All rights are given to the mother.

 

So the real problem is : If he is the father of this baby, how can he get his kid to live with him ?

[elgordo38]

12 minutes ago, RBOP said:

Sounds like your being scammed. Ask for proof of the baby i.e. birth certificate, blood type and a picture before going any further. You definitely need a lawyer either way. Having a baby is not the end of the world for you either.

It most certainly will advance your thinking and please give more thought to your appendage. It is definitely more than a water spout and can force a little human into a questionable world. With the all the fun it supplies also comes responsibility. 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

caca4u

What a stupid remark."typical,money hungry  Isaan girl" Do other girls in Thailand never do this then? what about Southern girls, other provincial girls?Where in the post did you get the idea she was an Isaan girl.You must have been burned pretty badly by an Issan girl.Probably had that  more brains than you gave her credit for.Issan girls arent the only ones in Pattaya,or Phuket,Chang Mai,or anywhere else.What about girls working on the islands?are they all Isaan girls?Your user name suits you,because that is what your head is full of.All girls in Thailand who have no education,or real future are money hungry.I think that you learned this idiom while sitting in a bar stool and listening to some burnt out, ex pat who lost all his money to an Isaan girl, through his own stupidity.Is that you? In the bar each night,nursing your Samsong Soda,elbows on the bar,staring into no where ,trying to figure out how she fleeced your bank account,when you are so street wise.Dont be putting all Isaan girls in the same category,when you obviously know nothing about them.

Grow up and  

[frog555]

32 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

"Many guys have got their brain washed by feminism." you think you are a macho man because you abandon your child? If the child is yours and you go to court you get 50% custody. Maybe the mother thinks the OP is no good but she needs the money to take care of the child.

50% of custody ?

It is theorical.

The facts show that you are totally wrong in most of cases.

 

Macho ? For a feminist or a brain-washed, certainly I am.

Read my posts, then you would understand that the brainwashed are the ones who abandon their kids.

[Deepinthailand]

1 hour ago, Caca4u said:

I know the feeling you are going thru.

First she is trying to scare you by telling you she is going to the police.

U didnt commit any crime and this is a civil matter.

U dont have to pay anything to your ex gf since u were not married.

 

Change your phone number or move and just ignore her. disappear.

She sounds like the tipical money hungry isan girl

Mm this poster sounds familiar? Who was you in a previous username I wonder?

[FritsSikkink]

38 minutes ago, frog555 said:

50% of custody ?

It is theorical.

The facts show that you are totally wrong in most of cases.

 

Macho ? For a feminist or a brain-washed, certainly I am.

Read my posts, then you would understand that the brainwashed are the ones who abandon their kids.

show me the facts

[simonuk]

I once broke up with a girl who them claimed she was pregnant. She has a record of outrageous lies .  She refused to show any evidence or even a photo of her pregnant. Then said the  baby had been born disable at 24 weeks (yet weighed 3kg). Would provide no photos of the baby then suddenly was in englad whilst her baby was supossedly in an incubator.  I would never have walked away from a baby if it had been mine but she simply offered no evidence not even a single photo and just a long list of clear lies. There are some huge liars in Thailand and a woman scorned out there is a beast indeed.

If she really is pregnant however then you need to take responsibility and make sure your* son or daughter is ok. You'll always think about it.