Any benefit to signing the divorce paper? Any way it can hurt me?

[Lakeland1]

Please refrain from telling me the fool I am, because I am fully aware of the hole I've dug for myself. I am a first time user of this forum and came on because I have no idea what to do.

I'm an American married nearly a year and currently residing and working under a Non-O visa. I have two sons that were born just 6 months ago. The wife is a Thai national and wants the divorce. I have refused to sign the divorce paper because I was insistent that we could work out our differences. It has been nearly a year of disputes and co-habitating (rather miserably) in our seperate spaces. For the sake of my children and the privilege to remain here in Thailand, am I benefiting myself in any way by not signing the divorce papers? What are the advantages and disadvantages of signing it besides perhaps we could get on with our own personal lives? Any response would be greatly appreciated. 

[happylarry]

Check your personal messages.

[Lakeland1]

As an aside, for whatever it is worth, my wife and I mutually agreed to tear up the marriage certificates just 12 hours after receiving them because we understood our "union" wasn't love-based but rather one of obligation to family. I gain my income by on-line teaching, which isn't exactly in accordance with Thai law. I have contacted a lawyer, but am not committed to one way or the other because I don't feel like I have any control over the situation. I cannot go to the police because I am fearful that my work here will come under scrutiny.  

[blackcab]

If applicable and your children are dual nationals, get them their first non-Thai passports before you divorce.

 

It might be considerably easier this way, as some countries might think of your marriage as one of convenience and then make your children's applications more difficult than they need to be.

[hdkane]

I can only offer one consideration...unless you divorce your wife, she cannot marry someone else...and neither can you.

[elgordo38]

Good luck young fellow you got some good advice especially applying for a passport from your home country. Try at least to get to the point where you get visitation rights. There is a lesson in the learning on this one. Love is grand till it ain't.

[TKDfella]

If you are going the 'quick' method and you don't read Thai make sure you have someone with you who can. It could be that your wife will want a monthly sum from you and that has to be written on the mutual consent form. As a former poster said get the children details clear first. You will need the marriage certificates too so I hope you kept the pieces.

[catman20]

1 hour ago, hdkane said:

I can only offer one consideration...unless you divorce your wife, she cannot marry someone else...and neither can you.

married again when will you people learn ?

[brd]

dear dear Lakeland1,

Caught by surprise really ?

Naive as such ?

In real terms not shocking any one because better to tell the truth and make some one cry than to tell lies to make some one smiles said some one.

Thai women do " prostitute not !!!!! ' but easily fall in love themselves with well planned scenario with their fathers whom are hidden pimps to get money benefits farangs treated like ATM with a goal to whiten skin kids and get an american passport.

I am so sorry to read you have hesitations to sign divorce papers.

NO WAYS !

Of course you have to ignore and to sign nothing for God sake only men can call for divorces under Thai basic rural culture, women have no rights and hijack kids purely.

Under Thai culture many many times mothers kick out simply the fathers of their kids soon after birth ( becoming quite mad ) for various reasons included the one not willing to share their babies they conceived with suffering and their men did nothing except inseminating them with pleasure.

I did faced 3 times the request of my leaving to lose two boys but I absorbed the mental shock very well because they are my boys at least for 50 % under quality parentage I am involve and present...

All in laws being undoers have been excluded totally my wife has tried to over take like if I was an idiot but she failed and lucky she has the status to be the mother of two boys we have together.

So many fathers have lost their kids for minute errors of them women treated like dramas to give them excuses to fault them out of their life.

My own wife self poisoned her own mind creating a rotten scenario of myself she had said she loved ( ! ) totally far from the reality because she was delighted to have stolen my caucasian sperm to have made her the mother of two superb mixed kids so appreciated over here..

we farangs in Thailand are one against all.

I recommend you stick to your position and strengthen it mentally, financially tightening the budget under your own control, do share a lot of times with your kids, do not behave stupid and she may revert to her own decision once realised the kids need their father.

How many kids have no fathers only grand fathers to become out of control ?

Under developed country status very hard to uplift under PM Prayuth recommendations, so few care for. 

Tough life you have no reasons to fail.

[abab]

Don't sign anything.

 

Who cares love, we only care a visa and the other one to be dependent on you whatever she does. Thai are made to follow, not to decide.

 

 

 

 

[4MyEgo]

Sad for your situation, happy you will move on and perhaps find someone who really loves you, because for a woman to walk away with 2 kids at such a young age, only points in one direction in my opinion, money, money, money.

 

I have read many posts of guys having endured the same type of scam, wife leaves or wants divorce after a baby has popped, knowing what suckers the falangs are (caring dad's) when compared to most Thai guys who will just walk and never have anything to do with the kid/s. The X wife (the black widow), has an income stream from Mr X falang, never has to work another day.

 

My advice to you is to forgive yourself for marrying such a heartless bitch, and prepare yourself as others have said, mentally, emotionally and financially.

 

Kids are mere financial pawns when marriages go south. Some falang fathers have walked when it all gets too much never to see their kid/s, who is to blame, well we all know falangs love their kids and want to contribute to and have some time with them, but if it all becomes to much, you make the decision that is going to make your life better, not bog you down, depress you and possibly lead you to jump off a tall building, for there is life and happiness after divorce, I survived to tell the tale, and my X wasn't Thai, she was a Greek Princes in her owned troubled mind, and has never re-partnered after 18 years, I have for 10 years with 2 kids, and am happier than I have ever been in my life. 

 

Good luck