What would Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to find a wife or girlfriend to bring back to Australia ?

[Iamtoofat]

Would any decent women be interested or only bar girls ? 

 

Assume age appropriate relationships.

[Iamtoofat]

9 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Yes. I constantly have ladies repeatedly asking me if I know any decent guys or if I have any foreign friends for them. 

 

I assume you understand that there will be language and cultural differences and that by cultural differences it goes beyond bowing and taking off your shoes before you go in the house... 

 

And most Thai ladies would prefer to stay in Thailand, but will relocate for a decent husband. 

 

By "decent husband" do you mean "rich" because I'm not rich.  

 

 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Iamtoofat

[metisdead]

Posts containing inappropriate language have been removed. 

[rijb]

Like any other country, Thailand has many decent women.  Some of them are also bar girls.

 

The difficulty is how to 'separate the wheat from the chaff'.  You'll get lots of advice.  But, eventually you'll just have to jump in the water and see for yourself.

 

[whatawonderfulday]

Well some posters were quick of the mark and have gone on to mention "decent woman"  or only bar girls.   Clearly one would need to understand upon which principal you define decent .   Whilst not married to Australians I  know 2 females, ex bar girls in the late 60's who were fortunate enough to meet and marry and have gone on to run their own major business in Thailand and Singapore. Also I have a good friend, poor as a church mouse with a big age difference who likewise married a bar girl and they are still together in the UK after 22 years. the point is whether these people are in the majority or otherwise is irrelevant you should never generalise by implying bar girls are not decent women.  I might as well say being English I consider Australians are not decent men which again would show bigotry and prejudice to the extreme

 

So what is decent ? someone who cares and loves irrespective of money or someone who has not had sex with numerous men before developing a long term relationship ?

 

But most Thai women that I know here would in my opinion not offer an opinion on the rights and wrongs of foreigners coming to find a wife,  rather wishing the ladies and their partners good luck. 

 

 

This thread will turn into another series of rants by hypocrites I suspect.

[1FinickyOne]

1 minute ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

By "decent husband" do you mean "rich" because I'm not rich.  

 

 

No, I do not mean rich. By decent I meant a kind, good person. A caring person. And by cultural differences, one might be a different definition of rich. I will say that poor as in dirt poor and living in the street but having a way with poetry is probably not going to sell too well either. Most ladies would like a step up in the world, especially if marrying a foreigner. 

[Iamtoofat]

43 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

No, I do not mean rich. By decent I meant a kind, good person. A caring person. And by cultural differences, one might be a different definition of rich. I will say that poor as in dirt poor and living in the street but having a way with poetry is probably not going to sell too well either. Most ladies would like a step up in the world, especially if marrying a foreigner. 

 

I understand that rightly or wrongly, on some level, many women expect the man to be able to provide. I am fine with that as long as I am not being used. As I said I am not interested in an exchange of money for companionship. 

 

I am 35, I earn okay money (about 90k AUD pa). I don't own a house. I could probably buy an apartment, or a house far from the city. With a partner earning a reasonable income we could definitely, but renting is better. Housing in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I have no idea what housing is like in Thailand. 

 

The whole point of going to Thailand is to find someone to build a life with. If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus for her then there is literally no point. I feel foolish asking these kind of questions, but if there is some chance I could find a genuine partner, its worth a shot. I am not getting any younger ! 

 

 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Iamtoofat

[whatawonderfulday]

10 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

I understand that rightly or wrongly, on some level, many women expect the man to be able to provide. I am fine with that as long as I am not being used. As I said I am not interested in an exchange of money for companionship. 

 

I am 35, I earn okay money (about 90k AUD). I don't own a house. I could probably buy an apartment, or a house far from the city. With a partner earning a reasonable income we could definitely, but renting is better. Housing in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I have no idea what housing is like in Thailand. 

 

The whole point of going to Thailand is to find someone to build a life with. If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus for her then there is literally no point. I feel foolish asking these kind of questions, but if there is some chance I could find a genuine partner, its worth a shot. I am not getting any younger ! 

 

 

Well "If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus"  then that covers most women in any walk of life I'm afraid irrespective of nationality so you just better get used to it if you want a partner/wife.  If you can not accept that then live on your own.

[Iamtoofat]

Maybe I spoke too harshly, but you have a very cynical view of women. I know lots of couple who contribute equally. 

[howard ashoul]

I think the answer is no.

 

Thais love their country. Everything Thai is the best. Thai food is the best. Thai music is the best. Thai motorbikes are the best. Clothes made in the Thailand is the best... . Also they have their Budhism. And their King. They are not looking for getting out of here. They love it here!

 

If you come here, nobody will care, that you want to take them back to Australia. Maybe woman from Vietnam, Laos, Burma would jump at that ticket from their country. But not Thais.

 

In 6 years here I saw ~5 women, who went to foreign country. And only and after a long relationship here in Thailand. All of them come back early, after 3-4 weeks, because after initial amusement by new culture they felt quickly homesick.

 

I don't think Thailand is the best country for this. Many 3rd world countries would give anything for that ticket out of there. But not Thais.

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

I understand that rightly or wrongly, on some level, many women expect the man to be able to provide. I am fine with that as long as I am not being used. As I said I am not interested in an exchange of money for companionship. 

 

I am 35, I earn okay money (about 90k AUD pa). I don't own a house. I could probably buy an apartment, or a house far from the city. With a partner earning a reasonable income we could definitely, but renting is better. Housing in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I have no idea what housing is like in Thailand. 

 

The whole point of going to Thailand is to find someone to build a life with. If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus for her then there is literally no point. I feel foolish asking these kind of questions, but if there is some chance I could find a genuine partner, its worth a shot. I am not getting any younger ! 

 

 

you are still young by many standards and by Thai standards you earn a decent living. I live in the countryside and know many Thai ladies here who make excellent wives. Of course, some of it depends on how they are treated too and if their wishes/wants hopes and dreams are respected too... Are you prepared to learn to speak some Thai and respect her culture and that part of that might mean caring for her family? 

[Iamtoofat]

14 minutes ago, howard ashoul said:

I think the answer is no.

 

Thais love their country. Everything Thai is the best. Thai food is the best. Thai music is the best. Thai motorbikes are the best. Clothes made in the Thailand is the best... . Also they have their Budhism. And their King. They are not looking for getting out of here. They love it here!

 

If you come here, nobody will care, that you want to take them back to Australia. Maybe woman from Vietnam, Laos, Burma would jump at that ticket from their country. But not Thais.

 

In 6 years here I saw ~5 women, who went to foreign country. And only and after a long relationship here in Thailand. All of them come back early, after 3-4 weeks, because after initial amusement by new culture they felt quickly homesick.

 

I don't think Thailand is the best country for this. Many 3rd world countries would give anything for that ticket out of there. But not Thais.

 

Thanks for the post.  I was planning on spending all my long service leave and annual leave to do a 6-9 month trip (at half pay) in search of a partner. I'll find a better use of my leave if your post is accurate. 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Iamtoofat

[nupersoodles]

It's Filipinas who want to escape abroad, some Thai girls may give it a try but overall seem less adaptable and more inclined to return home unconvinced.

[1FinickyOne]

4 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

Thanks for the post.  I was planning on spending all my long service leave and annual leave to do a 6-9 month trip (at half pay) in search of a partner. I'll find a better use of my leave if your post is accurate. 

 

19 minutes ago, howard ashoul said:

I think the answer is no.

 

Thais love their country. Everything Thai is the best. Thai food is the best. Thai music is the best. Thai motorbikes are the best. Clothes made in the Thailand is the best... . Also they have their Budhism. And their King. They are not looking for getting out of here. They love it here!

 

If you come here, nobody will care, that you want to take them back to Australia. Maybe woman from Vietnam, Laos, Burma would jump at that ticket from their country. But not Thais.

 

In 6 years here I saw ~5 women, who went to foreign country. And only and after a long relationship here in Thailand. All of them come back early, after 3-4 weeks, because after initial amusement by new culture they felt quickly homesick.

 

I don't think Thailand is the best country for this. Many 3rd world countries would give anything for that ticket out of there. But not Thais.

One of our neighbors married an Aussie last year and just sent for her daughter to move there too... there are probably 20 girls from my village currently living in Europe with their foreign husbands...

 

That is not to say that they do not prefer Thailand, just that they have young husbands not ready retire here... 

 

Respectfully Howard, I have not seen that and the numbers of Thai living overseas probably bears it out - - plenty in Finland, Germany, USA, etc etc... 

[bamukloy]

On this question asked by OP, id say most Thai woman would say "up to them"

 

What i would say about bringing a Thai lady to Australia (or any other country other than thai)...

 

very poor decision you will most probably regret

 

[steven100]

2 hours ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

I understand that rightly or wrongly, on some level, many women expect the man to be able to provide. I am fine with that as long as I am not being used. As I said I am not interested in an exchange of money for companionship. 

 

I am 35, I earn okay money (about 90k AUD pa). I don't own a house. I could probably buy an apartment, or a house far from the city. With a partner earning a reasonable income we could definitely, but renting is better. Housing in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I have no idea what housing is like in Thailand. 

 

The whole point of going to Thailand is to find someone to build a life with. If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus for her then there is literally no point. I feel foolish asking these kind of questions, but if there is some chance I could find a genuine partner, its worth a shot. I am not getting any younger ! 

 

 

Just go out and find a good honest banger and have a chat with her and then plan your future together and the house and car and mama and papa and the buffalo.

You will be fine and just enjoy and in the room together and live in the home at the village.

[Iamtoofat]

12 minutes ago, nupersoodles said:

It's Filipinas who want to escape abroad, some Thai girls may give it a try but overall seem less adaptable and more inclined to return home unconvinced.

Ah thanks. Might look into that. 

[Iamtoofat]

2 minutes ago, bamukloy said:

On this question asked by OP, id say most Thai woman would say "up to them"

 

What i would say about bringing a Thai lady to Australia (or any other country other than thai)...

 

very poor decision you will most probably regret

 

Thanks. I appreciate frank advice.  

 

 

[kannot]

30 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

you are still young by many standards and by Thai standards you earn a decent living. I live in the countryside and know many Thai ladies here who make excellent wives. Of course, some of it depends on how they are treated too and if their wishes/wants hopes and dreams are respected too... Are you prepared to learn to speak some Thai and respect her culture and that part of that might mean caring for her family? 

and  is  she  willing  to  respect  your  culture

[wildewillie89]

All depends on the guys job I think, If she's a professional, then he is going to need a good job to support her. As why would she give up a great job here to work in a restaurant, for example, there (or re-educate herself). If she has a good job in Thai, and he doesn't have as good a job back home, he will move to Thai (my personal case - I am Australian). 

I think most people, if given half the chance, would prefer to stay in their own country. Due to comfort, culture etc. Of course, there are the exceptions, we all have met Thai people who have cultural identity issues and think they are 'farang'. The same with many farang who think they are Thai.

So really, unless the girl is being offered a super comfortable life, then I find it hard to see why a successful girl here would leave to be unsuccessful (in the short term at least) in a different country. 

If  the girl did not get as many chances as some other Thai girls, then yes, she may jump at the idea to move, work a shitty job and send money back to her family. Every individual has different personalities and different life experiences so we cannot just put Thai women into one category. Many variables.

 

Actually , there are many educated Thai in Australia already. Thousands, cant go to the city without seeing them. Many are on study visas, but are there working. Generally there because they got bored of Thailand, needed a new experience for a few years. Or just to make fast money. I used to have friends who graduated from the likes of Mahidol and Chula etc. The problem is they now realise they stuffed up. They stayed too long, and are too old (late 20s, early 30s) to be really competitive in the job market in Thai now. Why not just choose one of them? They're all looking for someone and are generally relatively decent as they have come from luckier backgrounds.  

Also must remember in Australia I think you can only marry 2 people from overseas (5 years apart). So if you pick wrong and she leaves you once she gets the visa, for a better looking, better personality, possibly richer guy...then unlucky.  So if marriage is due to unstable reasons, then you may just screwing yourself for the rest of your life....or having the little holidays a month a year as many incredibly desperate guys seem to do.

Edited June 12, 2017 by wildewillie89

[1FinickyOne]

12 minutes ago, kannot said:

and  is  she  willing  to  respect  your  culture

I would hope it is a 2 way street... [as long as it includes hot chilli peppers in the cheeseburger] 

[Iamtoofat]

13 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

All depends on the guys job I think, If she's a professional, then he is going to need a good job to support her. As why would she give up a great job here to work in a restaurant, for example, there (or re-educate herself). If she has a good job in Thai, and he doesn't have as good a job back home, he will move to Thai (my personal case - I am Australian). 

I think most people, if given half the chance, would prefer to stay in their own country. Due to comfort, culture etc. Of course, there are the exceptions, we all have met Thai people who have cultural identity issues and think they are 'farang'. The same with many farang who think they are Thai.

So really, unless the girl is being offered a super comfortable life, then I find it hard to see why a successful girl here would leave to be unsuccessful (in the short term at least) in a different country. 

If  the girl did not get as many chances as some other Thai girls, then yes, she may jump at the idea to move, work a shitty job and send money back to her family. Every individual has different personalities and different life experiences so we cannot just put Thai women into one category. Many variables.

Also must remember in Australia I think you can only marry 2 people from overseas (5 years apart). So if you pick wrong and she leaves you once she gets the visa, for a better looking, better personality, possibly richer guy...then unlucky.  So if marriage is due to unstable reasons, then you may just screwing yourself for the rest of your life....or having the little holidays a month a year as many incredibly desperate guys seem to do.

 

Geez -  Australia has some ridiculous policies... .....

[Lucky mike]

If you spend time looking for the right one !  Your problem is that Thai women are very family oriented.  Maybe you can find some one who is not close to family and would be happy starting a new life with you. My suggestion is to find someone happy to live abroad but first live here with them for a reasonable time....good luck !

Edited June 12, 2017 by Lucky mike

[wildewillie89]

Just now, Iamtoofat said:

 

Geez -  Australia has some ridiculous policies... .....

To stop people smuggling basically. I understand the policy and accept it, I have even been offered money to marry from my cousin who lives in a Vietnamese community (naturally has many Vietnamese friends). Many Chinese are now doing it also. 

[Iamtoofat]

13 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

To stop people smuggling basically. I understand the policy and accept it, I have even been offered money to marry from my cousin who lives in a Vietnamese community (naturally has many Vietnamese friends). Many Chinese are now doing it also. 

This is straya. So long as it is the government or a rich company doing it, then cash for visa is okay.

[steven100]

Just go out and find a good honest banger and have a chat with her and then plan your future together and the house and car and mama and papa and the buffalo.

You will be fine and just enjoy and in the room together and live in the home at the village.

[Peterw42]

OP, I would say yes, 10s of 1,000s of great Thai girls who would make great partners and would move to Australia. If you are willing to take on a single mother etc, 1,000s more.

Its usually  a mutually beneficial relationship, you get a great loyal caring partner and they get a better life, and help support their family etc .

 

A great place to start is some of the Thai online dating websites, Thaicupid etc. It takes a bit to filter out the hookers and gold diggers etc but you can find some great girls and start talking/video chat etc

 

As others have mentioned, lots of cultural differences for both parties to learn and adjust to. One of the big things you will come across is lots of Thais think the streets are paved with gold in Australia, free medical, free university, huge wages etc,  you will need to point out the reality of high taxes, user pays University, tax funded medical etc.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Peterw42

[Gecko123]

Dear OP:

 

There are some decent women over here.

 

But there are also some women here who have the ability to dilate their pupils at will to make it feel like you are peering deeply into their soul, to cry heart-wrenching tears of anguish at the thought of separating from you, and to feign a compatibility with you beyond your wildest dreams. The problem is that western social experience does not always prepare western men to adroitly interpret these sometimes misleading signals from Thai women. It takes a fair amount of time on the ground to understand cultural norms, a lot of trial and error, language skills, and a fair amount of luck to navigate through the chutes and ladders of finding the girl of your dreams over here. Just sorting out what is a legitimate cultural difference (which you might be inclined to accommodate), versus an aberrant personality trait or behavior (which is unacceptable) takes a lot of time. You might get lucky, but in my opinion 6-9 months isn't enough time to really get your bearings over here. 

 

In terms of what an everyday Thai woman would make of a guy with a "Seven brides for seven brothers" mindset, in my opinion, most would be, understandably, dubious and skeptical. I live in a small village. Nearby there are many small towns, and maybe in a two hour radius there are several good size cities. Away from my village, I could present myself as single if I wanted to. I can speak Thai very well. Without giving you a full fledged dating profile, let's just say, I'm half-decent looking, presentable, and affable. Thai women, when I am talking to them in a cluster, will often say things like "I'd like to have a farang husband." I used to think that they really did want a foreign husband. But I've come to realize that very very few of these women were really serious, and genuinely wished they had a foreign husband. They were just shooting the breeze, playfully passing the time of day, tossing out a whimsical thought for their mutual amusement. For one thing, most of the time, their husbands were sitting right there listening to what their wife was saying (and none of the husbands seemed to take the wives seriously), and anyway most of those women seemed like they were fairly happily married already.

 

Sometimes, I'll meet an everyday Thai woman, be it a Lotus clerk, a mushroom vendor, a bank teller, a shop girl, whatever, and there appears to be a spark of physical attraction there, but more often that not it's just batting eyes at one another. Checking around, they're married, or have a boyfriend or have kids. In the real world, away from the bright lights of the "entertainment centers," all the good ones seem to be already taken. Put another way, these days, I could probably do better back home if I had to.

 

Then there's the problem of where do you meet these women. Determined to find a wholesome, college educated, English speaking Thai woman without any children, who has job skills which she can use to at least pull her own weight back in Australia, where do you look? You're obviously not going to look for a "non-bar" girl in a bar, right? These dating websites aimed at foreign men, by most accounts, have a sizable percentage of women who are on the prowl for one thing or another. Sorting through who is and isn't for real isn't going to happen overnight. It's going to take a lot of Skyping, and first dates. So where do you go to meet these women? Some have reported meeting their future spouses through the workplace. That sounds like a pretty good strategy to me. Plenty of time to get to know one another casually. A chance to talk to other people who already know her. But if that's not an option, what do you do? Walk the streets trying to make eye contact? Loiter around Bangkok universities? Shopping malls? Night clubs? Maybe. I never had much luck doing that myself. Do you pick a small town, maybe by the beach, and try and pick up a bank teller, an immigration officer, a waitress, the front desk clerk at your hotel, your Thai language school teacher? Do you imagine, with Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" playing in the background, some gainfully employed woman is going to slip off her apron, grab your hand and run off with you to Koh Chang, risking humiliation in front of her family and friends when it turns out she was just a holiday fling for some pale face? Sorry, despite what some here would have you believe, it doesn't work that way.

 

About two years ago I read an article about how Thailand's demographics were changing. The gist of the article was that thirty years ago there were a lot more young women available than there are nowadays. Also Thailand is getting older, rapidly. An interesting observation I've made in recent years, is that in many Thai-Thai relationships, the Thai man is comparatively (based on attractiveness norms) more attractive than the Thai woman. In other words, Thai men don't appear to have as endless a bevy of beauty pageant contestants to choose from when selecting a spouse as they may have had in the past.

 

Bottom line: In my opinion, coming to Thailand with the express purpose of trying to find a wife is a bad idea. Sorry if this sounds negative, but it's my honest assessment, and I'm just answering the question the OP posed.

 

 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Gecko123

[Here It Is]

As with most things in life you either get lucky or you don't.  We all believe we can read the signs but we're mere mortals and with that, invariably error-prone.

 

I met a lady on a Thai dating website and have been happily married for seven years.  She's now a citizen of my home country and has two passports, which makes life a lot easier as we can go where the hell we like.

 

We look after mom and pop but nothing heavy, just that they have a better life than what they had before.

 

I'm not too sure of the OPs motives to be honest as he seems to be looking for some compartmentalised version of what he thinks he can achieve rather than what he'll achieve.  My advice is just to go with the flow and hope for the best. 

[jeab1980]

 

"What would Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to find a wife or girlfriend to bring back to Australia ?"