How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[buddhafly]

thanks! comments welcome too...

[tuky]

Whats Sin-sod?

I know your post is probably tongue in cheek, but for those that do not know check out THIS post pinned at the top of the general topics forum.

[SanukJoe]

thanks! comments welcome too...

Originally it was much higher (asking price) but I negotiated down as my wife has been married before, so "second hand" On top I was allowed to keep the money and use it for improvements in the parents-in-law house and farm, which I would have done anyway..

Needless to say that this negotiating took place in a very relaxed and humorous way, we had a lot of fun together (and a couple of Sang Som as well...).

Joe

I must add to this that my parents-in-law gave us 2 rai of land to build our house on...

Edited January 1, 2007 by SanukJoe

[Nawtilus]

$0

[buriramboy]

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

[britmaveric]

Everyone I know who's married paid zero.

[SanukJoe]

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

If you read my post well you see that not only I got the money back for house- and farm improvement, but they also gave us 2 rai of land.

Economically speaking not a bad deal. For me it's not a deal, it's thai tradition and culture and I'm one of the farangs who respect and adapt thai tradition, in all its ways, and I love it!

Joe

[TAWP]

50 baht and I demanded a refound - and got it!

[SanukJoe]

Standing right now: 50% paid and 50% didn't pay or don't want to admit

[buriramboy]

i paid and admit to it, but my previous point was about the many people who pay that should not have too, eg people who marry girls who have been married before or to girls that already got children.

[Nawtilus]

I dont agree with it luckily i was never asked to

[SanukJoe]

i paid and admit to it, but my previous point was about the many people who pay that should not have too, eg people who marry girls who have been married before or to girls that already got children.

When I pay it means I give the money and it's gone. If I get the money back plus some land I didn't pay. It's a way to show respect to your wife's parents and to show you are capable of taking care of a family.

The other part, giving gold to the girl, meaning buying a ring, is also tradition in thai culture, those two are related to each other.

No matter if a girl has been married before or has kids, in our little village a girl can marry twice without losing her face, if she divorce again she has to leave the village!

Joe

[astral]

I paid 100K to show how much I value my wife,

but it was all returned later in the day.

[a2396]

This whole idea is total garbage from start to finish in my opinion. I know many ladies who are asking for 1 million + , with a straigh face and they are not Bangkok society debutantes. Several others I am aware of have the nerve to ask for dowry when they have been married before and/or have children. To me, it is a tool for greedy families to collect money from generous Farangs. This "culture" went by the wayside 200 years ago in most of the western world.

[emwobberlydee]

I did not pay anything, my wife informed her family that as I was taking on her two children as well, that was payment enough (they are now 24 & 25 years old and still dependent so how true was that!)

We got married in Bangkok on paper without any ceremony. I'm an atheist so ceremonies are a waste of time IMO, the Mrs. had had a ceremony the first time around. We are now still married with no problems whatsoever after 12 1/2 years.

[SanukJoe]

This whole idea is total garbage from start to finish in my opinion. I know many ladies who are asking for 1 million + , with a straigh face and they are not Bangkok society debutantes. Several others I am aware of have the nerve to ask for dowry when they have been married before and/or have children. To me, it is a tool for greedy families to collect money from generous Farangs. This "culture" went by the wayside 200 years ago in most of the western world.

You haven't the slightest idea about thai culture and tradition. Culture is NEVER garbage. If you can't respect it stay away, Thailand can do without you. We farangs are guests in this country, who are you to call thai tradition garbage?

Girls asking for 1 million baht? You are talking a different language! If money is paid it is on a voluntary basis, nobody asks for it, and certainly not the girl!! Read my earlier posts and those of others, it's not buying your wife, it's showing respect to her parents and the money is somehow flowing back to you.

A nice and valuable social thai tradition, not suitable for culture nono's.

[raro]

You haven't the slightest idea about thai culture and tradition. Culture is NEVER garbage. If you can't respect it stay away, Thailand can do without you. We farangs are guests in this country, who are you to call thai tradition garbage?

Girls asking for 1 million baht? You are talking a different language! If money is paid it is on a voluntary basis, nobody asks for it, and certainly not the girl!! Read my earlier posts and those of others, it's not buying your wife, it's showing respect to her parents and the money is somehow flowing back to you.

A nice and valuable social thai tradition, not suitable for culture nono's.

seconded!

It is part of the tradition/culture and is handled differently in different areas. I paid 200k and this paid also for the party that the whole village and extended family attended.

I also had my doubts, but an extensive research on Thaivisa (and there is a lot in here to that subject!) convinced me that it is the right way to go. Might be that without this board I would not be married, and this is maybe the right moment to say thank you to all your contributions pro and con who made this possible!

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(buriramboy @ 2007-01-01 19:17:30)

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

If you read my post well you see that not only I got the money back for house- and farm improvement, but they also gave us 2 rai of land.

Economically speaking not a bad deal. For me it's not a deal, it's thai tradition and culture and I'm one of the farangs who respect and adapt thai tradition, in all its ways, and I love it!

Joe

You're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits financially after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do ?

I'd never give a divorced woman, especially with kids, a sin sot.

Of course it's a deal.

[swissie]

The same questioning: A Lady, never married, no children, age 41 ?

[SanukJoe]

QUOTE(buriramboy @ 2007-01-01 19:17:30)

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

If you read my post well you see that not only I got the money back for house- and farm improvement, but they also gave us 2 rai of land.

Economically speaking not a bad deal. For me it's not a deal, it's thai tradition and culture and I'm one of the farangs who respect and adapt thai tradition, in all its ways, and I love it!

Joe

You're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits financially after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do ?

I'd never give a divorced woman, especially with kids, a sin sot.

Of course it's a deal.

If you love your woman you will do what is necessary and in the tradition of HER country where you want to stay. On top, I'm divorced too, are divorced people second class?

Read the topic "sin sot" in general topics, very well written, maybe you understand the meaning of it after reading it.

Sin sot is not like paying money for a cow, it is a tradition and has nothing to do with buying a woman or putting her value in money.

If you would value your wife in money, would you dare to name a number? A good woman is by no means valued in money, they are far beyond that, but a lot of macho men think they value a woman by the amount of money they would spend on them, might be good for bargirls, but not for real women!

Joe

[SanukJoe]

The same questioning: A Lady, never married, no children, age 41 ?

It's not that easy, it depends on a lot of things. Does she have married sisters and how much was paid when they married? Are the parents poor or wealthy? what is the local tradition? You have to find out by talking to people, but the best person to talk to is your gf, unless you don't trust her but then the whole thing is a farce.

Joe

[old wanderer]

You haven't the slightest idea about thai culture and tradition. Culture is NEVER garbage. If you can't respect it stay away, Thailand can do without you. We farangs are guests in this country, who are you to call thai tradition garbage?

Girls asking for 1 million baht? You are talking a different language! If money is paid it is on a voluntary basis, nobody asks for it, and certainly not the girl!! Read my earlier posts and those of others, it's not buying your wife, it's showing respect to her parents and the money is somehow flowing back to you.

A nice and valuable social thai tradition, not suitable for culture nono's.

seconded!

It is part of the tradition/culture and is handled differently in different areas. I paid 200k and this paid also for the party that the whole village and extended family attended.

I also had my doubts, but an extensive research on Thaivisa (and there is a lot in here to that subject!) convinced me that it is the right way to go. Might be that without this board I would not be married, and this is maybe the right moment to say thank you to all your contributions pro and con who made this possible!

And I Third you thoughts.

I married a Suay girl from a small village outside of Surin. When I met her she had never been married or even had a boyfriend and was 29. (How rare is that??)

When I had known her as a friend she owned a sewing company in Bangkok and after a disaster with one of the "trophy queens" I had a talk with myself and thought I should look at the quality of the woman rather than the exterior desirability. I proposed to my wife, and it took a village meeting to decided if it was OK. Got a list of conditions I had to agree to.

Well she came to the USA with me and we got married here. For 6 years everytime we went to her village I got asked 50 times.. "When you get married??" I had started with the idea that sin sod was just a rip-off. That slowly changed after I went to a cousins marriage (Thai/Thai) and observed what went on. Also was there when her mother negociated a sin sod for her younger son with a divorced thai lady. (It was 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht).

Well it took 6 years for me to come around, but I did it. I gave 300,000 baht to the family, 16baht gold, plus an engagement ring/wedding ring ( 400,000 baht) and assorted jewlery we bought at Chonburi over 6 years, (about another 400,000 baht. We then had 200 people, 4 or 5 pigs, truck loads of beer, some Thai whiskey, 11 chanting monks, a Khmer marching band (To bring me too her mothers house and anounce my arrival) 20 Kg of Som Tum, and more fun than can be put in words...Oh and the clothes as well, wife, had to have a wedding dress, and I had a Jo Ko Bahn plus a wedding jacket. In short I proably went through over a million baht. If you were to offer to refund my money, I would not take 30X the money in exchage for the memories and the prestige I brought to my wife and her family, through that 4 day party.

I feel pretty strongly. If you want a Thai wife, do not try and change her to a Farang. If you want someone with your values and customs, go marry and another schrivilled up bad attitude farrang woman. (For you old guys, try and get some young sweet thing in your country??) One of the things that makes my Thai wife so special is her values and customs.

Gentlemen you are not buying a piece of meat and negociating a price per pound. Marriage (if it is to last) is a pardnership, not an owership. If you are fortunate enough to find your Quan Tah, there is not price that can pay for that.

To quote my wife,,,,,"If you Farangs cannot respect the customs of Issan people then go set in your room and chuck wah, and leave the Issan ladies alone.

Edited January 1, 2007 by old wanderer

[chuchok]

If you love your woman you will do what is necessary and in the tradition of HER country where you want to stay. On top, I'm divorced too, are divorced people second class?

Read the topic "sin sot" in general topics, very well written, maybe you understand the meaning of it after reading it.

Sin sot is not like paying money for a cow, it is a tradition and has nothing to do with buying a woman or putting her value in money.

If you would value your wife in money, would you dare to name a number? A good woman is by no means valued in money, they are far beyond that, but a lot of macho men think they value a woman by the amount of money they would spend on them, might be good for bargirls, but not for real women!

Joe

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Edited January 1, 2007 by chuchok

[old wanderer]

Joe

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Read my post above, my brother-in-law (Thai person) paid 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht for a divorced wife with one son.

So now you have heard of it...I was there and saw the whole thing....

[RAZZELL]

This "culture" went by the wayside 200 years ago in most of the western world.

You might not have noticed, but Thailand isn't in the West

[swissie]

All very interesting. Most answers imply that the "Farang" remains in Thailand. Therefore, costoms of the country may apply. But what, if the spouse will be staying in "Farang-Country" for possibly many years to come. With possible numerous benefits to be attained for her and the "Family" in LOS anyway? Do "Farang" Standarts apply that do not include "sin-sod"? Womens rights Ladies in "Farang-Contries" may have a problem with "sin-sod". (Better not tell them!)

- But again, a Lady, 41 years old, never married, no children. What applies in a situation like this? (I admit, a bit unusual, isen't it?

Well, your thoughts?

[meemiathai]

QUOTE(buriramboy @ 2007-01-01 19:17:30)

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

If you read my post well you see that not only I got the money back for house- and farm improvement, but they also gave us 2 rai of land.

Economically speaking not a bad deal. For me it's not a deal, it's thai tradition and culture and I'm one of the farangs who respect and adapt thai tradition, in all its ways, and I love it!

Joe

You're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits financially after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do ?

I'd never give a divorced woman, especially with kids, a sin sot.

Of course it's a deal.

If you love your woman you will do what is necessary and in the tradition of HER country where you want to stay. On top, I'm divorced too, are divorced people second class?

Read the topic "sin sot" in general topics, very well written, maybe you understand the meaning of it after reading it.

Sin sot is not like paying money for a cow, it is a tradition and has nothing to do with buying a woman or putting her value in money.

If you would value your wife in money, would you dare to name a number? A good woman is by no means valued in money, they are far beyond that, but a lot of macho men think they value a woman by the amount of money they would spend on them, might be good for bargirls, but not for real women!

Joe

Well-said Joe!

Glad there are so many insensitive men out there. It really makes being an attractive man much easier.

Not only are they insensitive, some are arrogant!

[SanukJoe]

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Read my post above, my brother-in-law (Thai person) paid 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht for a divorced wife with one son.

So now you have heard of it...I was there and saw the whole thing....

Thanks Old Wanderer, some people think if they didn't hear of it, it never happened....

Great story about your Suay woman, I wish I would have been there at the wedding, must have been very impressive

[old wanderer]

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Read my post above, my brother-in-law (Thai person) paid 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht for a divorced wife with one son.

So now you have heard of it...I was there and saw the whole thing....

Thanks Old Wanderer, some people think if they didn't hear of it, it never happened....

Great story about your Suay woman, I wish I would have been there at the wedding, must have been very impressive

More than impressive,,,it was memorable.....

When the day comes that all you can do is sit in your rocking chair and drool with this stupid grin on your face, all you hve left are the memories....make the best possible.

We will be having a house warming (blessing) party in a year or so for a new house in the mountains outside of Saraburi, you are welcome and see how I throw a party....(There will be Suay, Lao, Thai, and Farrang people there. ) Hopefully this does not go on for more than a day. But you never know??

[Mossfinn]

Hi SanukJoe,

I can't repeat all of your quotes but you speak so much sense in a sea of hopeless, worthless paranoid misanthropy that I would like to buy you a beer in the future.

I see you will be in Isaan in Feb but it may now be some time before I am back again, hopefully I will buy you that beeer then.

Good Luck

Moss