How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[raro]

Well, everyone's certainly on a roll with this topic. You are welcome to defend this outrageous practice, in the name of Thai culture. My view is that this creates a mentality of buying & selling of women as if they are some sort of mercantile goods. Not all aspects of a society's culture are good and should be continued forever. This should go in the dustbin with other degrading remnants of history, such a footbinding. Unfortunately, it will likely not, because it is a great way to make "lump sum" money for doing nothing. As good as hitting the lottery for some.

That has got to be the funniest and most out of this world post I have ever read.

lol

You have just taken over from the great Moonchaser title.

Good one! a2396....when can we expect your fuirst Thai beer revies?

[bkkmadness]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Edited January 5, 2007 by bkkmadness

[SanukJoe]

But what about western culture? does that not factor into the relationship one little bit?

In our culture if we have to pay for a girl, that means she is a prostitute...right?

Well if you are directly handing money over for sexual services yes. But Sinsod isn't like that, and by your rational does that mean if the Sinsod is returned then the girl isn't a prostitute and the wedding now fits in with Western culture?

Marrage is about hasip/hapsip (50/50) in everything and that includes tolerance of each others culture. In my mind if the Thai girl refuses to take her husbands culture into consideration then the relationship is off to a very bad start.

I agree with this totally.

I know many farangs that have Thai wifes and only one paid sinsod. His wife and about 2 million baht left him within 3 years. The other guys are still married and have happy relationships.

But that doesn't justify or not justify Sinsod does it? I know people who have paid sinsod and still happily married, so wheres the point here?

I think your gf or her family suddenly turns round to you and demands a million or two for Sinsod it tells you a lot about the girl and the family. A lot of farangs get taken in by the old 'well it's Thai culture you wouldn't understand' bullshit and a lot of these farangs only ever learn about Thai culture from the same gf and family.

Agreed again

When money is paid to the family and it is not given back to the couple, that is when it is plain robbery.

Like I said, many farangs have happy marriages myself included that did not pay sinsot. I have no problem when farangs pay and it is handled in the true Thai custom and that is...it is returned to the wife, IN FULL.

Joe gave all his money to the family...their land and now their house when he builds it, I can imagine the family convinced him that was the best way to go.

There are thousands of stories of farangs been taken for a ride and sinsot is just part of the over all scam (by the minority) of NE Thai people.

Hohoho mister! I never said I gave all my money to the family, you must have bad eyes! I paid sin sot, got the money back plus 2 rai of land to build our house on. Is that robbery? You're plain stupid.

I have explained many times now about sin sot, if you still don't get it and take a few bad examples as the standard you're hopeless.

I will not explain it anymore, as someone said to me: you can't change a donkey into a horse.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Also to you I say: how you got the idea I paid a he'l lot of money?

Read my first post about it and you will see that I negotiated with the family until a reasonable sum was reached (the sum I had in mind already). On top it was promised to give the money back. To make it even better the parents in law gave me and my wife 2 rai of land to build our house on. So I went out with more money I came in with!!

Stop thinking about me being scammed ok? I'm fed up with this!

Joe

[bkkmadness]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Also to you I say: how you got the idea I paid a he'l lot of money?

Read my first post about it and you will see that I negotiated with the family until a reasonable sum was reached (the sum I had in mind already). On top it was promised to give the money back. To make it even better the parents in law gave me and my wife 2 rai of land to build our house on. So I went out with more money I came in with!!

Stop thinking about me being scammed ok? I'm fed up with this!

Joe

Ok Joe, I was actually defending you about someone saying you got scammed. I never jump to so quick a conclusion myself. And it does seem you paid a lot of Sinsod (16 baht of gold, 300 k, 400 k ring etc.?). Realistically you didn't come out with more money than you went in because that land is not yours. Anyways, everybody's happy so whats the problem? There is none.

[SanukJoe]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

[SanukJoe]

thanks! comments welcome too...

Originally it was much higher (asking price) but I negotiated down as my wife has been married before, so "second hand" On top I was allowed to keep the money and use it for improvements in the parents-in-law house and farm, which I would have done anyway..

Needless to say that this negotiating took place in a very relaxed and humorous way, we had a lot of fun together (and a couple of Sang Som as well...).

Joe

I must add to this that my parents-in-law gave us 2 rai of land to build our house on...

I will tell you why you do not have to pay sinsod....

you do not have to pay sinsod BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THAI.

I will repeat this so there is no mistakes....

you do not have to pay sinsod BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THAI.

Oh and another thing...you did not get the land, your wife got it. It's as good as still belonging to the inlaws.

You have been had Joe.

Clever boy, knows it all hah?

I give you an example and then you will see how stupid your thinking is.

The Netherlands, civilised country in Europe, part of EU.

I tell you, clever boy, you have to speak Dutch if you want to live here.

You say: BS I'M NOT DUTCH so I don't have to speak Dutch!!!

Pity clever boy, you will never live in The Netherlands. Basta.

Joe

Edit: members of EU are excepted from this rule.

Edited January 5, 2007 by SanukJoe

[SanukJoe]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Also to you I say: how you got the idea I paid a he'l lot of money?

Read my first post about it and you will see that I negotiated with the family until a reasonable sum was reached (the sum I had in mind already). On top it was promised to give the money back. To make it even better the parents in law gave me and my wife 2 rai of land to build our house on. So I went out with more money I came in with!!

Stop thinking about me being scammed ok? I'm fed up with this!

Joe

Ok Joe, I was actually defending you about someone saying you got scammed. I never jump to so quick a conclusion myself. And it does seem you paid a lot of Sinsod (16 baht of gold, 300 k, 400 k ring etc.?). Realistically you didn't come out with more money than you went in because that land is not yours. Anyways, everybody's happy so whats the problem? There is none.

Where the he'll you got that BS?

The land is of my wifef, I lease it for 30 years, the house will be on my name. If I would build the house somewhere else I would have to buy the land, right?

Joe

[chuchok]

Clever boy, knows it all hah?

I give you an example and then you will see how stupid your thinking is.

The Netherlands, civilised country in Europe, part of EU.

I tell you, clever boy, you have to speak Dutch if you want to live here.

You say: BS I'M NOT DUTCH so I don't have to speak Dutch!!!

Pity clever boy, you will never live in The Netherlands. Basta.

Joe

Edit: members of EU are excepted from this rule.

Fair enough too.I wonder if they will let you by land and work there too....

[SanukJoe]

I was not planning to do this as it is of nobody's business, but as some insinuating creatures seem to have fun in telling blown up stories and numbers I will tell you exactly what I paid as sin sot.

NO gold, 100k (got it back), 25k ring

I hope this shuts the mouth of those trouble makers.

Again: I respect those who didn't pay sin sot, please can you also respect those who did pay?

Joe

[JacknDanny]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

Holy s#it Joe I was on your side!!!!!!!

I guess its my English humour which has gone right over your (bald) head?

I agree with most of what you are saying, but for f###s sake calm down pal, its not worth getting all worked up about

[SanukJoe]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

Holy s#it Joe I was on your side!!!!!!!

I guess its my English humour which has gone right over your (bald) head?

I agree with most of what you are saying, but for f###s sake calm down pal, its not worth getting all worked up about

Sorry to have hit you, I know you are on my side that's why I was shocked. I agree english humour is something great, I love it but sometimes it's hard for a dutchman.

I'm just pissed off with those people here who cannot just respect someone doing or thinking different from their doing or thinking.

This is why we have so many problems around the world: lack of respect! Why can respect not rule in such a little community TV is?

Sorry again mate, I owe you a beer

Joe

[Livinginexile]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

Joe

You say you got 2 rai of land out of the deal?

or was it that you and your wife got 2 rai of land? no difference, you do not have title over that land.

So who's name is the deed in Joe? being that farangs cannot own land in Thailand.

So the land is in your wifes name? or is it still in the inlaws name but you have title only in a verbal agreement?

Whatever the deal you struck YOU DO NOT OWN THE LAND...you got nothing.

You call me stupid? look in the mirror dude

[SanukJoe]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

Joe

You say you got 2 rai of land out of the deal?

or was it that you and your wife got 2 rai of land? no difference, you do not have title over that land.

So who's name is the deed in Joe? being that farangs cannot own land in Thailand.

So the land is in your wifes name? or is it still in the inlaws name but you have title only in a verbal agreement?

Whatever the deal you struck YOU DO NOT OWN THE LAND...you got nothing.

You call me stupid? look in the mirror dude

Yes stupid I call you if you don't read. If you had read my post re the land you could have read that I lease the land from my wife and build the house on it, registered in my name. I know you cannot own land as a farang, but you can lease (30 years) and own the house on that land.

I said in an earlier post that WE (wife and I) got the land to build our house on. This 2 rai comes to the 16 rai my wife owns already, in her name.

Again, I got the sin sot back and don't have to buy land to build a house on, saving about 40k baht

Got it?

Joe

[meadish_sweetball]

Whatever the deal you struck YOU DO NOT OWN THE LAND...you got nothing.

Well, as he said in his earlier post, he would have had to buy a piece of land to build a house on if the parents in law had not provided these 2 rai. That piece of land would not have been his own either.

He also got the sin sod money back. And what is more important, he has a wife who he plans to live with for the rest of his life. That being the main point of marriage... I think.

And since he shows respect for Thai customs, chances are his wife and new family like him too.

Does not sound like a scam to me. So, he didnt make a fortune getting married. How many people do?

Please avoid the namecalling folks. It is fully possible to state your opinions without having a go at others.

[SanukJoe]

Whatever the deal you struck YOU DO NOT OWN THE LAND...you got nothing.

Well, as he said in his earlier post, he would have had to buy a piece of land to build a house on if the parents in law had not provided these 2 rai. That piece of land would not have been his own either.

He also got the sin sod money back. And what is more important, he has a wife who he plans to live with for the rest of his life. That being the main point of marriage... I think.

And since he shows respect for Thai customs, chances are his wife and new family like him too.

Does not sound like a scam to me. So, he didnt make a fortune getting married. How many people do?

Please avoid the namecalling folks. It is fully possible to state your opinions without having a go at others.

Thanks MS for making things clear again, hope they believe you...

Joe

[KireB]

Making friends Joe?

No Dutch beer and recalcitrant postings!

[SanukJoe]

Making friends Joe?

No Dutch beer and recalcitrant postings!

had my share of dutch beer. If you come to Udon one day I will buy you a draught Guinness....

[TAWP]

Joe>> Are you saying that they require that you speak dutch to get a continious Visa or do you infact talk about RS? Since to get it here you better be prepered to show more then your ability to speak Thai.

And IIRC, a farang is allowed to lease 1 rai, not 2. or has this changed? Just pointing out so no-one get's confused, if it hasn't changed.

And calling Joes wife a prostitue was beyond stupid. Firt of all, I wouldn't call Joe any victim of any scam. Victims are the guys that do temple-marriges to a BG, have no idea that it isn't binding in any way, dosch down 100K+ and never see a penny returned. perhaps not even get that big of a party for it...

In those, rare, cases the farang was an easy mealticket/payment towards loansharks.

Perhaps it would be better if farangs started doing credit-checks of the parents before discussion sin sod?

And remember: you haven't been scammed if you are happy with the payment done. However it went down.

[bkkmadness]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Also to you I say: how you got the idea I paid a he'l lot of money?

Read my first post about it and you will see that I negotiated with the family until a reasonable sum was reached (the sum I had in mind already). On top it was promised to give the money back. To make it even better the parents in law gave me and my wife 2 rai of land to build our house on. So I went out with more money I came in with!!

Stop thinking about me being scammed ok? I'm fed up with this!

Joe

Ok Joe, I was actually defending you about someone saying you got scammed. I never jump to so quick a conclusion myself. And it does seem you paid a lot of Sinsod (16 baht of gold, 300 k, 400 k ring etc.?). Realistically you didn't come out with more money than you went in because that land is not yours. Anyways, everybody's happy so whats the problem? There is none.

Where the he'll you got that BS?

The land is of my wifef, I lease it for 30 years, the house will be on my name. If I would build the house somewhere else I would have to buy the land, right?

Joe

Sorry SanukJoe, it wasn't intentional bullshit, I got you confused with the OldWanderer post made earlier.

Apologies. Rotterdam forever and all that (u are Dutch aren't you?).

Edited January 5, 2007 by bkkmadness

[SanukJoe]

I agree SanukJoe seemed to have paid a hel_l of a lot of cash out but you can't be so dogmatic about he was scammed. I would be interested to know whether he come to this figure himself though and approached the parents with it, or was told an amount by the family and advised to pay in full in order for the marriage to go ahead. That seems to be to be quite a deciding factor in these cases, for myself anyway.

I do think as well that so many foreigners are preoccupied with the thought of giving their Thai family 'face' that they forget about their own.

Also to you I say: how you got the idea I paid a he'l lot of money?

Read my first post about it and you will see that I negotiated with the family until a reasonable sum was reached (the sum I had in mind already). On top it was promised to give the money back. To make it even better the parents in law gave me and my wife 2 rai of land to build our house on. So I went out with more money I came in with!!

Stop thinking about me being scammed ok? I'm fed up with this!

Joe

Ok Joe, I was actually defending you about someone saying you got scammed. I never jump to so quick a conclusion myself. And it does seem you paid a lot of Sinsod (16 baht of gold, 300 k, 400 k ring etc.?). Realistically you didn't come out with more money than you went in because that land is not yours. Anyways, everybody's happy so whats the problem? There is none.

Where the he'll you got that BS?

The land is of my wifef, I lease it for 30 years, the house will be on my name. If I would build the house somewhere else I would have to buy the land, right?

Joe

Sorry SanukJoe, it wasn't intentional bullshit, I got you confused with the OldWanderer post made earlier.

Apologies. Rotterdam forever and all that (u are Dutch aren't you?).

Accepted, yes I'm a Dutchman, actually I lived in Rotterdam for 30 years

Take care

Joe

[rcm]

Well, everyone's certainly on a roll with this topic. You are welcome to defend this outrageous practice, in the name of Thai culture. My view is that this creates a mentality of buying & selling of women as if they are some sort of mercantile goods. Not all aspects of a society's culture are good and should be continued forever. This should go in the dustbin with other degrading remnants of history, such a footbinding. Unfortunately, it will likely not, because it is a great way to make "lump sum" money for doing nothing. As good as hitting the lottery for some.

That has got to be the funniest and most out of this world post I have ever read.

lol

You have just taken over from the great Moonchaser title.

Good one! a2396....when can we expect your fuirst Thai beer revies?

Yes, please...a beer reviewer

[SanukJoe]

Joe>> Are you saying that they require that you speak dutch to get a continious Visa or do you infact talk about RS? Since to get it here you better be prepered to show more then your ability to speak Thai.

People from outside the EU have to undergo a test before getting allowed to stay longer than 3 months in The Netherlands. Part of that test is speaking Dutch. It also includes knowledge of the dutch history, royal family, political items etcetera. I wrote in some post about a friend of mine in Sukothai. She married a Dutchman and wants to live there until he retires and they can live in Thailand. She has to learn to speak Dutch, which is very difficult for asian people. She is teaching English but has trememdous problems with the dutch language.

And IIRC, a farang is allowed to lease 1 rai, not 2. or has this changed? Just pointing out so no-one get's confused, if it hasn't changed.

As far as I know you can lease the land needed for building the house on. For the rest you can rent land, like we have rented 8 rai of land with sugar on it, for 10 years, 500 baht per rai per year.

Thanks for the remarks on sin sot. As MS wrote earlier the main and only thing about marriage is that you and your wife love each other and want to stay together for life time. If you are not sure of that or think your wife could walk away with your money, you're obviously not ready to marry that woman and you need to do more homework by going into yourself to find out if you want that woman forever or just shot taam.

Joe

Edited January 5, 2007 by SanukJoe

[Neeranam]

And remember: you haven't been scammed if you are happy with the payment done. However it went down.

Don't forget the long-term scamming that goes on a lot. I'm sure many who married questionable girls and built a house, without being officially married, were very happy - having lots of fun whilst building the house.

Some families may give the 'sin sot' back if they think they'll get a jackpot payout later. Some will give a new car(and the monthly re-payments) etc etc.

BTW I wasn't referring to anyone in particular when noting that many scammed guys were baldy and old/fat and went about saying sanook all the time.

[meadish_sweetball]

And remember: you haven't been scammed if you are happy with the payment done. However it went down.

Don't forget the long-term scamming that goes on a lot. I'm sure many who married questionable girls and built a house, without being officially married, were very happy - having lots of fun whilst building the house.

Some families may give the 'sin sot' back if they think they'll get a jackpot payout later. Some will give a new car(and the monthly re-payments) etc etc.

BTW I wasn't referring to anyone in particular when noting that many scammed guys were baldy and old/fat and went about saying sanook all the time.

Of course there are long term scams too, one can always think the worst of everyone if one wants to... not being too gullible is a good thing of course. The other side of the coin is, being too suspicious makes life quite unpleasant, and arguably makes you miss out on a lot of nice people who could have become good friends if you allowed them to.

The middle way, I like.

[SanukJoe]

And remember: you haven't been scammed if you are happy with the payment done. However it went down.

Don't forget the long-term scamming that goes on a lot. I'm sure many who married questionable girls and built a house, without being officially married, were very happy - having lots of fun whilst building the house.

Some families may give the 'sin sot' back if they think they'll get a jackpot payout later. Some will give a new car(and the monthly re-payments) etc etc.

BTW I wasn't referring to anyone in particular when noting that many scammed guys were baldy and old/fat and went about saying sanook all the time.

Of course there are long term scams too, one can always think the worst of everyone if one wants to... not being too gullible is a good thing of course. The other side of the coin is, being too suspicious makes life quite unpleasant, and arguably makes you miss out on a lot of nice people who could have become good friends if you allowed them to.

The middle way, I like.

Very well said! And how true!

[britmaveric]

Ahh well done SanukJoe - so you received the dosh back? This is how it should be in thai customs

Dutch huh? Always loved the dutch....great people!!!

[Heng]

. Old farts with no hair who say sanook and ting tong,

Joe

Having looked at your avatar,Joe, I was just wondering who you were referring to??

Sorry, I didn't take consideration of people with low IQ. I quoted some comments of know-it-alls as the question was if there have been insulting posts. Got it now?

Joe

Joe

Whatever the deal you struck YOU DO NOT OWN THE LAND.

Many folks would consider it family land. There was a time that Indians and Chinese couldn't own land in Thailand either. But through family land, they have come to own most of the real estate in the country. There are most definitely title deeds to land with farang last names on them. Few and far between, but it's completely legal.

[SanukJoe]

Ahh well done SanukJoe - so you received the dosh back? This is how it should be in thai customs

Dutch huh? Always loved the dutch....great people!!!

It's nice to be a Dutchman, we seem to go along with a lot of nationalities and always welcomed in a warm way. I think we go along best with native english speakers, GB, Aussies, Irish, USA, CDN.

Maybe because most Dutch speak English on an acceptable level (and nobody speaks Dutch ) and also we usually can cope with english humour.

[mark lamai]

anyone have experience with neighbouring countries.

burma, laos, cambodia.

i believe its a custom in burma as well,

and it might soon be real question for my good self and burma lady.

BTW

do u recall a while ago a hiso mis thailand called a press conference to tell the world what she got from her rich bf family.

2 cars, condo, multi gold and jewels etc. many millions of baht worth.

was a kinda sick in a donald trump kinda way