worried that wife is taking our 8 yr old daughter to thailand

[Here2008]

4 minutes ago, Sumarianson said:

Undrr no circumstances leave her go alone. I have an 8 year old that was kidnapped to Thailand and the mother is similar now I have big troubles. 

Mmm  Sorry about that. You must have all the press reports available.  Could you please post the links ..........

[Been there done that]

43 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Suggest you actually open your eyes and look around you. Parenting skills here are not just confined to mom and dad its a family thing from sisters/brothers to aunty/uncle to grandparent's. As this does not or very rarley happens in Western countries, people can sometimes miss understand and form an opinion on what they percive to be bad parenting.

Yes, and all of them, together, still do a bad job. Overhere a village is needed to raise, if in the Thai context that is a proper word ?, a child. I strongely suggest you start to look beyond the facade so you can truly educate yourself. If not, keep sprouting nonsense on here.

[Artisi]

7 hours ago, Andyfez said:

Yes, IMHO you've been living in the uk too long. Reading too many Sunday papers.

It's quite safe here.

Problem is newspapers highlight the unusual. Put the statistics into a proper perspective, and the only worry I would have is to ensure the child is not in the back of a pickup, and the driver is qualified.

Being qualified doesn't ensure the driver has one ounce of intelligence. 

[jeab1980]

8 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Yes, and all of them, together, still do a bad job. Overhere a village is needed to raise, if in the Thai context that is a proper word ?, a child. I strongely suggest you start to look beyond the facade so you can truly educate yourself. If not, keep sprouting nonsense on here.

Pointless you have no idea but you keep beliving what you like and please do continue to spout your nonesense

[Artisi]

My (Thai)  wife watches our 8 year old boy like a hawk when out and about and doesn't trust anyone outside the family. 

If  the OP's wife doesn't care, I wouldn't allow the child to go either. 

[Been there done that]

10 minutes ago, Artisi said:

My (Thai)  wife watches our 8 year old boy like a hawk when out and about and doesn't trust anyone outside the family. 

If  the OP's wife doesn't care, I wouldn't allow the child to go either. 

Dependancy. Control. You naively think that that is good. 

 

Wrong !

[Been there done that]

12 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Pointless you have no idea but you keep beliving what you like and please do continue to spout your nonesense

I have no idea you write. How wrong can you be. I do not reside in touristplaces alone. I have friends with children all over thailand. I travel and open my eyes. Oh yeah, I think too.

[jeab1980]

Just now, Been there done that said:

I have no idea you write. How wrong can you be. I do not reside in touristplaces alone. I have friends with children all over thailand. I travel and open my eyes. Oh yeah, I think too.

Ye ok shoud have gone to specsavers

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, KhaoNiaw said:

To be honest, I'm not sure your fears are completely rational. Reading the title, it looked like it would be a marriage in trouble and the wife running away with the daughter. 

 

Still, it sounds like you're worried for your daughter, even in your own country. Nothing wrong with being concerned but don't let fear take over your life. It sounds like you go out as a family but you expect that only your wife has to watch your daughter. When you're not out together, has your daughter ever got lost? Do you have any reason to suppose your wife just leaves your daughter to her own devices when you're not there? 

 

I've brought a daughter  up in Thailand (now 25) and I would think your daughter will be spoilt rotten by the family and have a great time. What part of Thailand are the wife's family in?

Agreed.

When I was a nipper I went off on my own all day, as did most kids. While there are indeed some dangers now that were APPARENTLY not around back then, IMO western parents are now too paranoid to let kids get out and play etc. This has led to a generation of obese, unhealthy and clingy children. The culture of "no danger of any sort" and "there are no losers" is breeding people unable to cope with the real world.

[owl sees all]

1 hour ago, Sumarianson said:

Undrr no circumstances leave her go alone. I have an 8 year old that was kidnapped to Thailand and the mother is similar now I have big troubles.

I can recall a few kidnapping cases in Thailand.

 

One was Cherie Ann; that ended in tragedy.

 

Another case (can't recall any names; but about 3 years ago) was where the family 'kidnapped' the child to extort money from the farang father.

 

The latter is more probable, I suggest, but only you on this forum would know if that is actually on the cards or not.

 

My advice Pumpjack; just tell the mother to wait a while until circumstances with work change and "we can all go together".

 

 

Edited August 6, 2017 by owl sees all
added more content

[Rc2702]

Forgive me PJACK but if these responsibilities are really your primary concerns then what the heck have you been doing gallavanting round thailand with a woman who you felt showed you no respect whilst on a minibus journey to pattaya?

 

Sounds like the mom has reared the child pretty well in your absence so maybe you should be more concerned about your own behaviour.

[vandv]

I think some of you either live on islands or in cities and have failed to spot the amount of devious characters that roam around rural thailand in pickup trucks.

 

real wild looking types......I've seen lots of them and I don't mean the farang ones.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, vandv said:

I think some of you either live on islands or in cities and have failed to spot the amount of devious characters that roam around rural thailand in pickup trucks.

 

real wild looking types......I've seen lots of them and I don't mean the farang ones.

I lived in a village and never saw any devious characters, other than the MIL and the nephew. However, neither of them were into kidnapping children.

[Rc2702]

Just now, vandv said:

I think some of you either live on islands or in cities and have failed to spot the amount of devious characters that roam around rural thailand in pickup trucks.

 

real wild looking types......I've seen lots of them and I don't mean the farang ones.

How they look is irrelevent and I'm sure the same dangers lie in wait on islands too and schools everywhere

 

[Been there done that]

29 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Forgive me PJACK but if these responsibilities are really your primary concerns then what the heck have you been doing gallavanting round thailand with a woman who you felt showed you no respect whilst on a minibus journey to pattaya?

 

Sounds like the mom has reared the child pretty well in your absence so maybe you should be more concerned about your own behaviour.

Based on what OP has posted, I have read nothing that "the mom" is rearing the child well. 

 

Sober or stoned ? Again.

[JayBird]

Is she bad or just very easily distracted and absent minded or just doesn't care? The answer to that will guide your marriage.

 

as for your child, she seems to have shown she is not a suitable minder. You'll need to arrange another sitter or nanny for the child.

[chickenslegs]

6 hours ago, jenifer d said:

seriously???

the child is in far more danger in the UK than in Thailand, esepcially w/wife's extended family around...

IMHO, OP is being completely irrational, and, frankly, unduly paranoid w/o good reason

Well, this topic seems to have become a discussion about which is safer for a child, UK or Thailand - but, if you read my post, I did not say anything about safety in either country.

 

Regardless of location, a child is safer when properly cared for by its parent(s). My point is that, if the mother is incapable of looking after her child on a simple shopping trip, she shouldn't be taking the child on a 6,000 mile journey to a foreign country (any country).

[scorecard]

4 hours ago, minikev said:

I don't think you are being paranoid I have seen mothers allowing their kids to roam around unwatched. I think they are used to the extended family around and naturally watching for them as that is the norm in the village. However if they are not used to your child being there they are far less likely to watch her.

As it is important that your wife takes the trip to her homeland to see her family and also simply that she will miss her own culture, weather, food etc etc. You may need to make a decision about what is more important and take time off from work however hard that may be.

If it is simply impossible for you to do this because of finance or maybe you would lose your job then you should keep your daughter with you.

The dangers of your daughter been alone here aren't just from weirdo's which are present in any country they are also from the dangers of so many things that are different here. Should she have been brought up here she would know what these are.  

 

 

and that brings the question, how advanced are the daughters Thai language skills (written, comprehension, conversation)? 

[Rc2702]

Just now, Been there done that said:

Based on what OP has posted, I have read nothing that "the mom" is rearing the child well. 

 

Sober or stoned ? Again.

This sums you up nicely.

 

You will use any excuse to gain a knock on people you dislike or disagree with but the person who has the t-shirt for all walks of life is yet to offer one hint of personal experience and lives in the fantasy world where a pithy remark looks like the right thing to do it makes him feel of value. Except it's kind of lazy and childish and a tell for a fool whose only comfort is his stool.

[NanLaew]

7 hours ago, jenifer d said:

really? in 8 years, we've had all of 1 incident of ANY of that where i live, a teen on yaba molested a young girl 

about 5 years ago, and the whole community descended upon the guy before the cops could even get there,

and were angry when the cops dragged the perp away so the villagers couldn't finish pummelling the perp to death-

 

...and yet it's so much safer here.

[Get Real]

20 hours ago, pumpjack said:

well i know the answer to my question allready as im not going to let her,   but really the topic was aimed at any of you who are  in the same position as me with a wife who does not seem to care of the dangers of bringing up children.   is it a thai thing as my other 2 long term farang  partners would never dream of letting their children out of their sights . 

 

just after reading about the 2 child rapists on the run in koh pang nan too, seems everyday there is something on tv about animals

Yes, it´s a very thai thing. I am sure that many fathers to half thai children have the same experiance like you and think the same way. It´s just a common thing with people here.

[RowdyAlpha]

Maybe buy a tracker device, not the Bluetooth versions are totally crap, get the gsm/SIM card type. Cost more but for piece of mind well worth it plus it sounds like you could use it when she gets back home also.

[Artisi]

3 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Dependancy. Control. You naively think that that is good. 

 

Wrong !

Very wrong on your part, no more dependancy nor control other than what an 8 year old needs and deserves. 

Or should our concern be modified to accept your self-assessed expert opinion? 

[jeab1980]

I will say again this is a very one sided take only the ops say on what he belives might happen. Only his word on what he says.

[JAS21]

Hell Fire PJ ... you live an active life.  

 

In January, if I remember correctly, you were saying that you are trying to get you GF/Wife a business to give her some income whilst you were back in the UK trying to earn some money ... someone, brother in law whatever had a car business ...and something about a noodle shop etc etc for your GF/Wife ...

 

In April you were back here renting a car to travel around ... wondering whether gasoline or diesel would be a better bet and how much it would cost to get to Hau Hin

 

Now you wife is not in Thailand  at all with this car business/noodle shop or whatever but with you in the UK and has a daughter... gee I can't keep up with these fables ....

Edited August 6, 2017 by JAS21

[KhaoNiaw]

The OP hasn't actually given any evidence that his wife doesn't look after their child properly. He's seen with his own eyes that she wanders off - when he's there. Maybe she thinks he'll be watching their daughter while she has a quick look in a shop. There may be more to it but not from what he's told us here. 

My own experience of Thai families, not only in my own case but also others, including a Thai friend who brought her young daughter over from Europe for a couple of months just recently, is that they will be very protective of the child. 

[cyberfarang]

I have known of many younger couples who’s relationships had become very insecure, both in Thailand and in England.

 

Wife or girlfriend regularly arrives home late after work, or often says she’s gong out with the girls or visiting relatives or is on the social media or texting a lot or is out for many hours during the day or evening arriving home late with no credible explanations, then their male partners start getting paranoid as to what they’re really up to.

 

Sadly, this because many partners do cheat today, both men and women and it’s all so easy to cheat and meet others online. In-fact there are hundreds of online dating sites especially designed for cheating spouses or partners. If a woman is reasonably young and attractive, she’ll have no problems meeting other guys. So it’s no wonder that a boyfriend or husband may become suspicious of his GFs or wife’s activities. My first wife cheated on me and I was the last person to know about it.

 

If the OP has any of these insecurities regarding his Thai wife, rather than asking us, he should confront his wife and ask her outright explaining exactly how he feels. And if he is not convinced beyond a reasonable doubt, then he has to decide whether to let his child go to Thailand or not. But so far nothing more from the OP, so will he be making an appearance again?

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, JAS21 said:

Hell Fire PJ ... you live an active life.  

 

In January, if I remember correctly, you were saying that you are trying to get you GF/Wife a business to give her some income whilst you were back in the UK trying to earn some money ... someone, brother in law whatever had a car business ...and something about a noodle shop etc etc for your GF/Wife ...

 

In April you were back here renting a car to travel around ... wondering whether gasoline or diesel would be a better bet and how much it would cost to get to Hau Hin

 

Now you wife is not in Thailand  at all with this car business/noodle shop or whatever but with you in the UK and has a daughter... gee I can't keep up with these fables ....

Thank you.  Someone else noticed too. PJack has been on one adventure after another.

 

Off my head:

 

Disrespect me or not - funny thread TBF.

 

Then he got back with his Mrs in Issan like last month and he was concerned the house he deserted would be in ruin

 

In between that he had a car biz with gf BF making 30k a month

 

That's a lot of time you been spending with never a mention of your uk family. 

 

 

[janclaes47]

10 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

2 hours ago, JAS21 said:

Hell Fire PJ ... you live an active life.  

 

In January, if I remember correctly, you were saying that you are trying to get you GF/Wife a business to give her some income whilst you were back in the UK trying to earn some money ... someone, brother in law whatever had a car business ...and something about a noodle shop etc etc for your GF/Wife ...

 

In April you were back here renting a car to travel around ... wondering whether gasoline or diesel would be a better bet and how much it would cost to get to Hau Hin

 

Now you wife is not in Thailand  at all with this car business/noodle shop or whatever but with you in the UK and has a daughter... gee I can't keep up with these fables ....

Thank you.  Someone else noticed too. PJack has been on one adventure after another.

 

Off my head:

 

Disrespect me or not - funny thread TBF.

 

Then he got back with his Mrs in Issan like last month and he was concerned the house he deserted would be in ruin

 

In between that he had a car biz with gf BF making 30k a month

 

That's a lot of time you been spending with never a mention of your uk family. 

 

And then you didn't even look at his other profiles, Dirtycash, Asiansun, and a few more.

 

The guy is a right out troll, who separated from his so called wife years ago.

[observer90210]

Give her a nice world class brand cellphone with updated covert surveillance software installed that will enable you to monitor all her phone, sms, email activity at a distance...and you will be fixed. You find these lovely gadgets all over the internet. Naturally I am joking? ..or am I not?...up to you

 

Do not hesitate either to hire a reliable private eye for a week or so to get a deeper idea on what she is up to.

 

Nothing worse in life when you have doubts and hesitations on the loyalty of someone.