Divorced last year, ex now crying foul

[theoldgit]

On ‎14‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 8:28 AM, Kadilo said:

Guys you really don't need to hijack every thread with your ongoing bitchfest

Good point, a number of nonsensical posts have been removed.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, Scooby and Puppy said:

For every disastrous marriage gone wrong here, there is as many if not more that have stood the test of time.  

By the way, I am not married....yet.

I am sure that if you read enough TVF threads you will discover that getting married is a good idea or it isn't. Opinion seems pretty much divided black and white on the subject. Before I got married I thought it was a good idea, now I don't. Nothing grey about it IMO.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 8/15/2017 at 10:17 PM, Scooby and Puppy said:

For every disastrous marriage gone wrong here, there is as many if not more that have stood the test of time.  

By the way, I am not married....yet.

Yes! A Very Good and True Point!

 

Thanks for that!

[happyas]

19 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I am sure that if you read enough TVF threads you will discover that getting married is a good idea or it isn't. Opinion seems pretty much divided black and white on the subject. Before I got married I thought it was a good idea, now I don't. Nothing grey about it IMO.

IMO , with the never ending supply of threads like this one as evidence, it's more about the fault of the man than it is the "fault" of the Thai ladies.

Desperation seems to be a major player.

[oldlakey]

2 hours ago, happyas said:

IMO , with the never ending supply of threads like this one as evidence, it's more about the fault of the man than it is the "fault" of the Thai ladies.

Desperation seems to be a major player.

Maybe you are correct maybe not, who knows, who cares unless you are involved

The list of available contributing reasons to failed relationships married or not is rather long

The reason for that is because we as people are ALL fallible thats both sexes

I am several years into my third effort, I think I have made some progress but not that much I fear

Onward and upward if possible or its a case of into the valley of death with the other six hundred accompanied by the wedding march

Then again you could just get on with life and move on as we only get one go at it, but it gets harder as you get older for me anyway

I should not post this really its a bit in your face and depressing, I will leave that to the Mods as its way off topic 

Apart from I did mention marriage

 

 

 

[CanuckThai]

Sorry to hear about the trouble you are experiencing.   Thanks for sharing.

I consider these useful threads, both in reading the wife/gf/asset loss experiences, and some of the strategies to get your ass out of (or prevention of) the Thai bonfire that ends up torching a lot of well meaning (albeit uninformed dreamers) guys.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, happyas said:

IMO , with the never ending supply of threads like this one as evidence, it's more about the fault of the man than it is the "fault" of the Thai ladies.

Desperation seems to be a major player.

Hmmmmm

All women good, all men bad perhaps?

 

What is desperation if it's not a young attractive woman marrying a man old enough to be their grandfather to get money?

[bwpage3]

It is a tough situation for anyone in a relationship with a Thai.

 

There are no two relationships alike and commenting on what went wrong with one will be completely different with every relationship.

 

Thai women have wised up over the years and understand how to play foreigners with money. Either in person, dating sights or social media.

 

Money and western marketing is all that some Thai women really care about and become masters of the game of taking your money away from you for themselves. 

 

Others, perhaps the poorer class in Isaan, just want to be really rescued from absolute poverty and can prove to be good partners in the end.

 

Men share some of the blame because you cannot possible think some 18 year old is going to be in love with someone old and ugly man enough to be her grandfather. However the importance of her having money in her pocket and the latest Iphone, beauty can be perhaps overlooked or put up with temporarily, while you bask in the how handsum she tells you that you are!

 

The writing is on the wall and when divorce because eminent, it is not the loss of love these woman fight for, it is for the loss of income/money etc. That should be a real sign that the woman was never in the marriage for love. Using marriage and getting knocked up is a way to keep a stranglehold on the money.

 

Thailand is a strange place because there is no guaranteed rule of law with corrupt judges, lawyers and policemen all wanting to see Thai's benefit at the expense of foreigners. Sad but true.

 

I think the best answer is if you can/want to move back to your home country, you can file all the divorce proceedings in your own country. The courts will give her a time to answer back, which she will never actually know you are divorcing you because she wont read the papers or any other place you have to host the legal announcement and the court will grant the divorce, often with full custody of the kids.

 

Thinking about going back to Thailand after that would be a huge risk, due to the entire lawless nature of the country not looking out for foreigners.

 

You can file for divorce in the UK and the time will expire and the court will award you full custody. She will never know until it is over, unless you are stupid enough to tell her and she can counter file actions in Thailand.

 

Every grown man has their own choices in life. 

 

There are some amazing thai/farang marriages, there are probably more failures.  

 

It takes 2 people going in the same direction with honestly, compassion, commitment and love.

 

It a Thai woman truly is in love, she won't care about anything else.

 

When she cares about your money, it won't be long to you and your money are soon parted.

 

 

[swissie]

On 11.8.2017 at 8:34 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

The only questions he asked were

What I'm really asking is can a Judge "un-divorce" me, are there any such things as perjury laws here? 

Google answers the second- yes.

Google does not help the first, but rationally, I would say no. However, the ex wife could take him to court to ask for more, IMO.

 

I use such threads to post warning to those not yet married, but interested in doing so, not because I want to "rub it in" to the OP. I consider such warnings to be absolutely related to any such topics as this one. How else will the naïve newbie discover what fate may befall him?

So the question remains:
-Can a legal divorce be "un-divorced" in Thailand, if a divorcee decides that the divorce-settlement/verdict is not favourable enough for her/him?
I know it can't be done in my home country, but then, this is Thailand.
?

------------------------------------------------------

Says the Farang to his Thai-Wife:

- Farang: "I can't even smoke nor drink anymore".
- Wife  : "Oh, you love me this much?"
- Farang: "No, I am this broke".

 

This one is dedicated to "the naive newbies". (Not that it will help.....)

Cheers.

[BEVUP]

11 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

It is a tough situation for anyone in a relationship with a Thai.

 

There are no two relationships alike and commenting on what went wrong with one will be completely different with every relationship.

 

Thai women have wised up over the years and understand how to play foreigners with money. Either in person, dating sights or social media.

 

Money and western marketing is all that some Thai women really care about and become masters of the game of taking your money away from you for themselves. 

 

Others, perhaps the poorer class in Isaan, just want to be really rescued from absolute poverty and can prove to be good partners in the end.

 

Men share some of the blame because you cannot possible think some 18 year old is going to be in love with someone old and ugly man enough to be her grandfather. However the importance of her having money in her pocket and the latest Iphone, beauty can be perhaps overlooked or put up with temporarily, while you bask in the how handsum she tells you that you are!

 

The writing is on the wall and when divorce because eminent, it is not the loss of love these woman fight for, it is for the loss of income/money etc. That should be a real sign that the woman was never in the marriage for love. Using marriage and getting knocked up is a way to keep a stranglehold on the money.

 

Thailand is a strange place because there is no guaranteed rule of law with corrupt judges, lawyers and policemen all wanting to see Thai's benefit at the expense of foreigners. Sad but true.

 

I think the best answer is if you can/want to move back to your home country, you can file all the divorce proceedings in your own country. The courts will give her a time to answer back, which she will never actually know you are divorcing you because she wont read the papers or any other place you have to host the legal announcement and the court will grant the divorce, often with full custody of the kids.

 

Thinking about going back to Thailand after that would be a huge risk, due to the entire lawless nature of the country not looking out for foreigners.

 

You can file for divorce in the UK and the time will expire and the court will award you full custody. She will never know until it is over, unless you are stupid enough to tell her and she can counter file actions in Thailand.

 

Every grown man has their own choices in life. 

 

There are some amazing thai/farang marriages, there are probably more failures.  

 

It takes 2 people going in the same direction with honestly, compassion, commitment and love.

 

It a Thai woman truly is in love, she won't care about anything else.

 

When she cares about your money, it won't be long to you and your money are soon parted.

 

 

Actually most the money goes to family to get set up or just keep blowing it & paying of previous debts

 

Good post just adding some finer points of my thoughts

 

I don't think it matters as to the women - In fact i think there are several factors

 * Were not all perfect but when there pressured big time by family (not the elderly mother that may have dementia ) that is when it starts as Mum may have got a last word out " It's Ok " 

 * Another big point - Do young Thai women have older Thais? Maybe, But certainly nothing like taking a Falang & from what I read on the forum they end up going crazy - That's the sign of we've accomplished mission family' & hell be out in about a Yr - Even to the piont of having their own lives

 

England must have good laws , but not sure about Ausses as you would be required to fight with the Womens Liberation first

[MobileContent]

On 8/12/2017 at 11:31 AM, thonglorjimmy said:

I thought I'd respond to some of the comments, but first of all my sincere thanks to those who offered support, it was very much appreciated.

As to those who sought to criticise and mock from the comfort of their keyboards, well whatever rocks your boat, I take comfort from the fact that you've never made a mistake in your life, ten years ago I did, admitted it, and thought I would share my experience with others, if it helped one person then I'd be content.

Yes, I drew a line some time ago and moved on, I've accepted that I've lost a property, it's only a building I still have my sanity and my life, she wasn't able to take that away.

I've divorced her now, and as I attempted to point out in my post she seems to be challenging that, I was hoping that somebody might have been able to share a similar experience, not just a referral to Google, that wasn't particularly helpful, but thanks anyway.

If I can clarify a couple of other points that have been put to me when I was seeking advice, I was going to quote some of the more bizarre ones, but a mod has deleted them, thanks for that Mr/Ms Mod. 

Before our fateful marriage, despite the fact our relationship was conducted across the oceans, I was a regular visitor to her here in Thailand for two or three years and she me at my home in the UK before we married.

When I said I'd only stayed with her for four weeks, that referred to the fact that though we'd been in a relationship for a number of years,  and had rented a small house and condo previously, when I retired and moved here full time, it was clear to me that we were not going to live happily every after, she changed, or rather her intentions became apparent, after the four weeks, it was at that stage I decided that my life, well being and sanity were more important than bricks and mortar and decided to move out.

I really don't know why she's challenging the divorce, my lawyer seems to think she's now broke and maybe it seems that it may have sunk in that she will no longer receive the half decent pension that she would have received on my demise.

The other point, that was well made, is to be aware of any alternative methods she might employ in getting revenge, this is something I've considered, maybe I'll up sticks and return to the UK - who knows. 
Thanks again for those that offered some support, as I say it was very much appreciated.

I really don't know why she's challenging the divorce, my lawyer seems to think she's now broke and maybe it seems that it may have sunk in that she will no longer receive the half decent pension that she would have received on my demise.

 

Agree - I think too she is broke and possible the house/building has been sold already and she might ants more money.

[bwpage3]

22 hours ago, MobileContent said:

I really don't know why she's challenging the divorce, my lawyer seems to think she's now broke and maybe it seems that it may have sunk in that she will no longer receive the half decent pension that she would have received on my demise.

 

Agree - I think too she is broke and possible the house/building has been sold already and she might ants more money.

Yes you are on the right track. You were the source or income and now that there is none, she has probably found out how hard income is to find. I do not believe there is any such thing as undivorce, and you should realize any contact you facilitate is encouragement for her to believe she MIGHT be able to get some money. It is a very sad situation but this clearly shows money is what is important to her and not you. Sad situation but best to move on with no contact.

[thonglorjimmy]

Thought I'd update this thread to let those that made helpful comments advising how this saga all this turned out, which was actually far better than I'd hoped for.

Last month the judge threw out her applications after my lawyer convinced him that her allegations were without foundation. and as clever as she thougt she was in producing fake evidence and making scurrilous allegegations, she hadn't bothered to check the dates when I was actually in the country and she compounded her errors by including a lot of conflicting dates, including the date of our actual marriage.

My lawyer, who restored my faith in Thai lawyers, seemed to have got the bit between his teeth and then went after the property, to cut a long story short, on the 26 December the house was sold and on my return to Thailand yesterday morning, we'd been in Europe for a month over Christmas, I was presented with a decent sized cashiers cheque for my share after all the expenses had been paid, she got also got which turned out to be 25% of what I'd received.

Brexit in this case worked out in my favour, I purchased the house 11 years ago when the GBP was worth in the region of 72 Baht, when it was sold the GBP was worth considerably less, and if I choose to repatriate it I will show a profit in the region of £10k.

It's been a very difficult and stressfull decade, and whilst I could, and was able to, manage with the loss of these funds obviously I will be able to manage a lot better now I've got some back. I'd already drawn a line under this whole debacle it was only her greed in coming after me for more enabled me to focus my mind and fight back. 

The money is on deposit now whilst I consider the future, though I did draw 500k in cash and placed in my main account, I have to say that it was very satisfying and will mean I won't need to transfer funds from the UK for a while. 

[theoldgit]

Thanks for the update, quite a rocky ride, glad it seems to have turned out ok - watch your back.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 8/14/2017 at 4:21 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Hmmmm. Before I got married I thought it would be great to be married for all the usual reasons. Got burned in the west and tried again in LOS.

Now that I'm single with zero desire to be married again, I find my stress level has dropped significantly, and I am actually happier that I was when I was looking for a beloved. Unfortunately I had to get married to find I didn't really want to be married at all.

No need to be an island in LOS if one doesn't want to be. Renting is easy.

Yes! I can easily understand where you are coming from as I have been there myself. 

 

I agree also that Renting in Thailand is easy to do. Probably most of us here who have been in Thailand a long time have done this from time to time. Or at least one time. But Renting is still just Renting. You have no personal investment in that property or any rights over it.

 

Great if you want to move from time to time and into a different place. But some people get tired of Renting all the time and want to settle down. They want to own there own house. So probably the same argument of Renting over Home Ownership can be applied here. For some people it is better to rent. For other people it is better to own. But in the long haul it is always better to own than rent.  

[catman20]

36 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

Yes! I can easily understand where you are coming from as I have been there myself. 

 

I agree also that Renting in Thailand is easy to do. Probably most of us here who have been in Thailand a long time have done this from time to time. Or at least one time. But Renting is still just Renting. You have no personal investment in that property or any rights over it.

 

Great if you want to move from time to time and into a different place. But some people get tired of Renting all the time and want to settle down. They want to own there own house. So probably the same argument of Renting over Home Ownership can be applied here. For some people it is better to rent. For other people it is better to own. But in the long haul it is always better to own than rent.  

are we talking women or property 

[GOLDBUGGY]

51 minutes ago, catman20 said:

are we talking women or property 

In many countries today woman are still property. But that is besides the point. 

 

The key words first used were Renting Women. So I played along with that and related this to property, which can be rented.

 

But in many ways they are the same. In any relationship you have to invest in, like property. People that rent are generally in for the short haul, where people that own are in for the long haul. Depends where you sit in your life now, I guess. 

[OneMoreFarang]

On ‎30‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 9:29 AM, thonglorjimmy said:

Thought I'd update this thread to let those that made helpful comments advising how this saga all this turned out, which was actually far better than I'd hoped for.

Last month the judge threw out her applications after my lawyer convinced him that her allegations were without foundation. and as clever as she thougt she was in producing fake evidence and making scurrilous allegegations, she hadn't bothered to check the dates when I was actually in the country and she compounded her errors by including a lot of conflicting dates, including the date of our actual marriage.

My lawyer, who restored my faith in Thai lawyers, seemed to have got the bit between his teeth and then went after the property, to cut a long story short, on the 26 December the house was sold and on my return to Thailand yesterday morning, we'd been in Europe for a month over Christmas, I was presented with a decent sized cashiers cheque for my share after all the expenses had been paid, she got also got which turned out to be 25% of what I'd received.

Brexit in this case worked out in my favour, I purchased the house 11 years ago when the GBP was worth in the region of 72 Baht, when it was sold the GBP was worth considerably less, and if I choose to repatriate it I will show a profit in the region of £10k.

It's been a very difficult and stressfull decade, and whilst I could, and was able to, manage with the loss of these funds obviously I will be able to manage a lot better now I've got some back. I'd already drawn a line under this whole debacle it was only her greed in coming after me for more enabled me to focus my mind and fight back. 

The money is on deposit now whilst I consider the future, though I did draw 500k in cash and placed in my main account, I have to say that it was very satisfying and will mean I won't need to transfer funds from the UK for a while. 

Did she accept all this? Or are you now constantly looking over your shoulder if she or someone else is right behind you with a big knife?

[Rhys]

...move on now.. enjoy your pass...get away from Thailand and the crazy revenge that is about to follow...

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2017 at 6:34 AM, GOLDBUGGY said:

Yes! I can easily understand where you are coming from as I have been there myself. 

 

I agree also that Renting in Thailand is easy to do. Probably most of us here who have been in Thailand a long time have done this from time to time. Or at least one time. But Renting is still just Renting. You have no personal investment in that property or any rights over it.

 

Great if you want to move from time to time and into a different place. But some people get tired of Renting all the time and want to settle down. They want to own there own house. So probably the same argument of Renting over Home Ownership can be applied here. For some people it is better to rent. For other people it is better to own. But in the long haul it is always better to own than rent.  

I have always considered that having a piece of paper is irrelevant to the success or otherwise of a relationship, and in my case being married made no difference at all to the outcome.

I would be just as happy being in a common law marriage as one with a document, but it turns out she would not have been so I went along to get along, to my eternal regret.