Did anyone end up hating Thailand after retiring?

[jeab1980]

1 hour ago, Kadilo said:

May I ask which other forum you refer to which is a bit more positive?


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I have mentioned it before on here but it was taken down.  Will pm you. 

[JaiLai]

On 30/08/2017 at 3:28 PM, CG1 Blue said:

I think it depends on your personality.  If you're the abrasive type, argumentative, arrogant etc., you're going to get a lot more problems in all areas of life in Thailand. If you're amiable, respectful and grounded, you're probably going to have an easier (and happier) time here. I suspect you are the latter.

I think there is a very fine line between being amiable / respectful etc and being walked all over.

 

 

[scubascuba3]

May I ask which other forum you refer to which is a bit more positive?


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Pattay-addicts.com is more positive. BMs are not looking for a handbag fight and the forum is more light touch

[scubascuba3]

Drawdown ? What about it makes annuities useless ?

I didn't say annuities are useless, there is a place for them as discussed above. I definitely prefer drawdown as it allows you to keep invested and now you don't have to buy an annuity. "Pension Freedoms"

[Kadilo]

Pattay-addicts.com is more positive. BMs are not looking for a handbag fight and the forum is more light touch

Cheers


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[CG1 Blue]

16 hours ago, JaiLai said:

I think there is a very fine line between being amiable / respectful etc and being walked all over.

 

 

For example?

[murraynz]

i think the main things to consider before retiring/living in thailand are---make sure that you have ample funds to live on --keep within budget..keep yourself fully occupied...boredom and lack of money cause problems where ever you live..dont take too much notice of the many thai bashers on this forum...keep healthy

[theguyfromanotherforum]

On 8/29/2017 at 8:55 AM, Pinot said:

I live in Phuket at a world class beach. 

 

Not sure if serious

[JaiLai]

For example?

Accepting blame in an accident when it's clearly not our fault.

Accepting blame for being a farang, happens all the time.

[jak2002003]

7 minutes ago, JaiLai said:

 

Accepting blame in an accident when it's clearly not our fault.

Accepting blame for being a farang, happens all the time.

 

I have learnt to behave the Thai way when problems come around.

 

Yes lots of smiling, stay calm, don't show my true emotions, and make the person who is in the wrong feel like they have not lost face through manipulating the situation to my subtle advantage.  Can be quite fun if you can keep a cool head.  Also makes they look really bad but they can't react as that will make them look even worse or loose face.  Kind of hard to explain.  Also have to think ahead or ways to get things your way in the long term, without being to obvious about it.

[Scooby and Puppy]

On 29/08/2017 at 10:38 AM, likeke said:

I retired in Bangkok after traveling there many times. I took the plunge as it were. I gave myself one year but stayed three years. Probably one year too long. Ended up hating everything Thai. The language and cultural barrier did me in. I knew a lot of the thai language but still could not speak conversationally. Went to the gym 6 days a week and traveled around southeast asia. Good pension and never took the bars or the bar girls seriously. Stayed single because I would never marry again. It was a good life for a while. I returned to the states (Hawaii) one year ago. Best move I ever made. Going back to BKK for 2 weeks on holiday, and looking forward to being a tourist again. 

Moving to where you enjoyed your holidays as a tourist is a no no.

if you think about it,  living here AWAY from the tourist haunts is best because then you can go to Bkk, or Phuket, or Pattaya for a holiday while STILL living in Thailand.  I live in Korat city, and always look forward to a few days break in Bkk, or a couple of times a year in Pattaya...you become a tourist again while still being an expat too...

I can feel a bit bogged down sometimes, but whizz off to Phuket, or Pattaya, and it's exactly the same as when going there from the UK. No disrespect to the Pattaya dwellers, but they do come across a bit bored with the place.

On the other hand, when me and 'er indoors go there, booking a hotel, is just like a tourist...best of both worlds. No matter where you live, the grass is always greener somewhere else, so use it to your advantage. I am an expat, but can become a tourist just by driving a few hours.

[Pilotman]

I've just come here from the UK to stay, after planning it with my Thai wife for many years. You are right, living somewhere new is not a holiday and is very different to visiting and you can't take the decision lightly.  So far, I know this is the right decision for us.  We have a lovely house (not living in some City hovel) in the countryside. We have all our things around us.  We ensured that we brought as much from the UK as we could get into a 40 foot container, so it feels like home already.  We even brought the cat.  I love Thailand and I love the people.  Our Thai family here are very supportive and that also makes a difference.  I think coming here without a support network and without family, friends, or a partner would be very difficult.  Retirement is not easy anywhere, so having things to do that are not related to what you do on holidays is important.  Structure in your life will help, without that, nowhere is good for retiring. 

[superglue]

You planned well. As a result, the chances of it going tits up are minimal.

Live for today. You are a long time dead.

[scubascuba3]

I've just come here from the UK to stay, after planning it with my Thai wife for many years. You are right, living somewhere new is not a holiday and is very different to visiting and you can't take the decision lightly.  So far, I know this is the right decision for us.  We have a lovely house (not living in some City hovel) in the countryside. We have all our things around us.  We ensured that we brought as much from the UK as we could get into a 40 foot container, so it feels like home already.  We even brought the cat.  I love Thailand and I love the people.  Our Thai family here are very supportive and that also makes a difference.  I think coming here without a support network and without family, friends, or a partner would be very difficult.  Retirement is not easy anywhere, so having things to do that are not related to what you do on holidays is important.  Structure in your life will help, without that, nowhere is good for retiring. 

How's the cat? House cat now?

[Pilotman]

57 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

2 hours ago, Pilotman said:

I've just come here from the UK to stay, after planning it with my Thai wife for many years. You are right, living somewhere new is not a holiday and is very different to visiting and you can't take the decision lightly.  So far, I know this is the right decision for us.  We have a lovely house (not living in some City hovel) in the countryside. We have all our things around us.  We ensured that we brought as much from the UK as we could get into a 40 foot container, so it feels like home already.  We even brought the cat.  I love Thailand and I love the people.  Our Thai family here are very supportive and that also makes a difference.  I think coming here without a support network and without family, friends, or a partner would be very difficult.  Retirement is not easy anywhere, so having things to do that are not related to what you do on holidays is important.  Structure in your life will help, without that, nowhere is good for retiring. 

How's the cat? House cat now?

She settled down really well. She was always quite a home cat, so she never goes further than the back veranda. She hated the journey here (see my Swampy forum report on her arrival) but she has put on weight and looks happy. 

[paulo59]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

She settled down really well. She was always quite a home cat, so she never goes further than the back veranda. She hated the journey here (see my Swampy forum report on her arrival) but she has put on weight and looks happy. 

 

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

She settled down really well. She was always quite a home cat, so she never goes further than the back veranda. She hated the journey here (see my Swampy forum report on her arrival) but she has put on weight and looks happy. 

Cant beat afternoon naps with the cat for relaxing..

[Pilotman]

2 hours ago, paulo59 said:

 

Cant beat afternoon naps with the cat for relaxing..

I dont apologise for being a cat person.  She sleeps on our bed at night and follows me around all day. Frankly, she is a blessing. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 9:50 PM, Peterw42 said:

If you read these forums enough you will get the impression that many hate the place, but fortunately its the vocal minority.

Disagree. Many hate certain THINGS about Thailand, but not the country as a whole.

No one in the entire planet is happy with everything about the place they live.

For myself, there are many things to dislike about LOS, but overall, I'd rather live here on a pittance than back home on a pittance. With money enough, even the average farang can live like the proverbial king in LOS, while just being average back home.

Waking up in a nice ensuite room to see the dawn over a beautiful beach is something I would never have been able to afford back home, ever.

I have often said that the worst day I had in Thailand was better than the best day I had back home, and that would be true except for the last two years of married life.

 

If I have any advice to be happy in LOS, it's don't get married, and rent don't buy.

 

PS. The OP is 100% correct that living here is very different to visiting. Don't burn any bridges in case you want to go back home.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 9:58 PM, Jip99 said:

On your own ?

 

 

or are you attached ?...... that may well be a factor in where you live.

 

 

I imagine that everyone hates something/somewhere/someone at some stages of their life.

 

i hated the cold of winter in the U.K.

 

 

I hate the heat and humidity of Thailand in April.

Whenever it gets too hot I just remind myself of what it was like living in a freezing room back home, then I don't mind at all.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 10:11 PM, Aing123 said:

 

On my own.

My advice to rent, not buy, applies to more than housing. Just don't buy and you will be a happy chappie in LOS.

Marry or buy property and it's a toss up as to whether you will end up hating where you are forced to stay, whether you have to return home penniless, and in some cases if you even survive.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 8:18 AM, tonray said:

 

I'll quote myself because I wanted to elaborate a bit here. I am 59 and decided to quit working a few years early...but pre-pension (earliest I can reasonably draw SS and Pension monies is 62). I have assets and investments but keeping to a tight budget until that steady income flow comes in at 62. Keeping a strict budget AND being retired in Thailand is difficult, I am finding the transition from working every day to having nothing to do daunting and the cash restrictions are limiting my activities. So just something to keep in mind. When you are working all day you have the advantage of a steady paycheck and since you are working, less opportunity to spend money.

Hmmmmm. If someone has nothing to do, not just in Thailand, but anywhere, IMO they just aren't trying hard enough.

Walking is free and very interesting in Thailand.

For myself, I was more busy back home than when I was working, so I'm happy in LOS to have the opportunity to read more books than in the past 60 years of my life, sort all my photos from a lifetime of travelling, and generally relax. However, if I want company the bar beers are 5 minutes away. Movies are cheap here too.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 10:36 AM, fittobethaied said:

Personally, I am very obsessive-compulsive and  am only comfortable in an environment where there is order, organization, symmetry, great aesthetics and surrounded by people who obey the rule of law and are basically good, honest and hardworking people who you can take at their word.

I have devoted 7 years of my life to trying to adapt to this culture, and for me it's nothing more than an exercise in futility. 

 

 

I was like that, and spent my entire working life trying to make the world I found myself in "better", but I just ended up frustrated.

I survive in Thailand because I force myself to accept that the world is the way it is and it is not within my power to change it.

Any attempt to "change things" is now restricted to pixels on TVF. After all, we can dream, can't we?

Thailand is survivable, as long as we "go with the flow". Helps to keep remembering why we chose to move here and whatever things we do like about it. eg, I love not being cold.

 

As the psychologists say, we CHOOSE to be the way we are, and WE CAN change it, if we want to. If we can't, we just don't want to enough.

[scubascuba3]

I dont apologise for being a cat person.  She sleeps on our bed at night and follows me around all day. Frankly, she is a blessing. 

We have a lovely cat at my UK golf course. It follows us round the putting green, comes in the club house and loves being stroked by literally anyone and everyone, needs affection

[billd766]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My advice to rent, not buy, applies to more than housing. Just don't buy and you will be a happy chappie in LOS.

Marry or buy property and it's a toss up as to whether you will end up hating where you are forced to stay, whether you have to return home penniless, and in some cases if you even survive.

 

I have to disagree with you there as in my case I have been married for 17 years and have a 13 year old son. Yes I bought land and built a house for my family and so have at least 20 odd of my friends that I have worked with over the past 20 odd years in Thailand.

 

PS I am still a happy chappie even after 17 years of marriage.

 

We live in rural Khampaeng Phet on 15 rai and there is no way I would live in a city or a big town now, nor do I even contemplate returning to the UK.

 

However this is only my personal opinion. Others may differ.

[idman]

No matter where you put down roots be they temporary or permanent there will always be times when you question the sanity of that decision. Life here in Chiang Mai isn't always a bowl of cherries but I would not move at this point in my life. Not because I don't have the means but because on the whole C.M. offers me all I require to be reasonably happy. And after all isn't that why we are here in first place??

[Kadilo]

 
I have to disagree with you there as in my case I have been married for 17 years and have a 13 year old son. Yes I bought land and built a house for my family and so have at least 20 odd of my friends that I have worked with over the past 20 odd years in Thailand.
 
PS I am still a happy chappie even after 17 years of marriage.
 
We live in rural Khampaeng Phet on 15 rai and there is no way I would live in a city or a big town now, nor do I even contemplate returning to the UK.
 
However this is only my personal opinion. Others may differ.

Nice post. It's good to hear a positive side rather than the continuous negativity this site tends to attract.
I'm sure there are, as you say, many many continuing success stories which far outweigh the rest but are too busy enjoying life to spend on here.
I wish you well.
Maybe there should be a thread where all the positive experiences can post to get a balanced view so newbies are not scared into thinking of settling down here.
Food for thought.


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[Damrongsak]

On 8/28/2017 at 11:21 AM, tonray said:

.... Thais seem to have little sense of aesthetics. For example, most houses are a jumble of collected junk, no real landscaping or attempts and lifestyle seems a bit chaotic ...

Tell me it isn't so!

 

First pic is my sister-in-law's house courtesy of Google street view.  At least she has the excuse that she is a scrap recycler.  Our house is across an alley in the background. Nice wall on one side and nice view on the other.

 

 

 

 

[Pilotman]

15 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I was like that, and spent my entire working life trying to make the world I found myself in "better", but I just ended up frustrated.

I survive in Thailand because I force myself to accept that the world is the way it is and it is not within my power to change it.

Any attempt to "change things" is now restricted to pixels on TVF. After all, we can dream, can't we?

Thailand is survivable, as long as we "go with the flow". Helps to keep remembering why we chose to move here and whatever things we do like about it. eg, I love not being cold.

 

As the psychologists say, we CHOOSE to be the way we are, and WE CAN change it, if we want to. If we can't, we just don't want to enough.

I've been a very ambitious go-getter all my working life.  I am also impatient by nature and want things done yesterday.  I know that I have a challenge here to slow down, take it easy, chill out and calm down.  I am trying and frankly, its interesting and a good laugh and i'm enjoying the changes.  I  try not to care if I sit at traffic lights for ages.  I try not to care if I'm in a traffic jam or a queue.  I don't care when I hear 'no have'. when I know they do have.  I dont even care when the girl in 7 Eleven gets grumpy with me because its 4;55pm on her time and not 5pm,  as it is on my accurate Casio  and I want to buy beer.  I must admit that I enjoy that.  I also dont care what day of the week it is, when I go to the gym (or not), when I eat.  Its very different, but inst that what retirement is supposed to be like and all this is happening because its LOS, .

[Global Guy]

Moving to another country is a matching process for what you expect, want, and need out of life. It's better to not look at it like what is better or worse.

 

You have to lower your expectations on things like infrastructure, hygiene, rule of law (especially for expats), fair treatment by the culture (there is acceptable racism/discrimination against expats), business and investment opportunities (the culture/system is legally and culturally against foreigners), and many other things.

 

Most cite the weather, lower cost of living (a trade off for poor infrastructure), decent medical care (for a third world country), mai pen rai attitude towards life (laid back), and great opportunities for finding a spouse who respects being treated well (and yes, beautiful without Western attitudes).

 

Those who do well here are ones who:

1) can accept the laid back, lack of attention to detail on many things in life

2) accept and adapt to the expectations of third world living

3) don't let destructive addictions ruin their lives (it's easy to go off the rails in Thailand with booze/drugs and whoring around)

4) are well funded

5) Have some attention to a healthy lifestyle. It's real easy to eat clean, healthy food, get exercise indoors or outside (year round), and with good medical care-get treatment when needed at a very reasonable cost.

6) have some activities that keep your mind stimulated and hobbies to keep you physically active.

 

There are more but that's a start. What I do is try to leave behind the negative Western traits I lived with and replace them with some of the Thai traits. I'm not trying to be a Thai person, just combining and immersing in a country and lifestyle that is a good match and works for me and my Thai spouse. 

 

It's a work in progress, even after 16 years. There are things I'll never be on board with but I react less negatively to, such as the horrible drivers, Thais jumping the queue in lines, poor customer service/rude staff, the accepted discrimination against expats, and the poor quality of work/maintenance.

 

Good luck! Thailand can be paradise, Disneyland (for single guys), or a slow, painful death.

[JAFO]

3 hours ago, Global Guy said:

Those who do well here are ones who:

1) can accept the laid back, lack of attention to detail on many things in life

2) accept and adapt to the expectations of third world living

3) don't let destructive addictions ruin their lives (it's easy to go off the rails in Thailand with booze/drugs and whoring around)

4) are well funded

5) Have some attention to a healthy lifestyle. It's real easy to eat clean, healthy food, get exercise indoors or outside (year round), and with good medical care-get treatment when needed at a very reasonable cost.

6) have some activities that keep your mind stimulated and hobbies to keep you physically active.

 

There are more but that's a start. What I do is try to leave behind the negative Western traits I lived with and replace them with some of the Thai traits. I'm not trying to be a Thai person, just combining and immersing in a country and lifestyle that is a good match and works for me and my Thai spouse. 

I usually do not chime in late on threads like this because they usually derail quickly but this one has been very adult. I have been here for sometime some working, some on a work hiatus. I definitely enjoy the work Hiatus part. I will retire early.

 

The above clip from Global guy is a good start albeit  # 4 is a tough one.  Being well funded all depends on your personal expectations and of course your current financial position. I am not "Well Funded" but I do not think I need to be. Whether you are here or in the US once you retire you have to scale back and make life adjustments. It becomes more about "Needs" then "Wants" These can be challenging. One key point on being "well funded", It can be offset by being debt free.  No bills changes everything. Of course having a truck load of cash can always make things better :)

 

My few thoughts about retiring in Thailand (could be anywhere)

 

1) Location Location Location. This has to match your personal make up. It may sound good having lived in the city all your life then moving out in the sticks or Vice-versa.  Do not be hasty. If you are, you might end up hating the place however its not really hating Thailand, Its really about hating your decision. Most people cannot make a paradigm shift.

 

2) Renting or owning, Again totally depends on ones make up and expectations. My wife and I built a modest home because I would hate to rent, (especially a condo as I did those for awhile here and went nuts). Of course I am an outdoor guy and retiring and living in a box would be brutal. Having a house and some land gives you some hobby options plus some space to keep it different. I find watering, planting trees, yard work, etc a fun routine.

 

3) Retiring is a very interesting dynamic ( one I will embark on quite soon) Am I anxious.nervous...you bet. It definitely will have some challenging times. However this could be anywhere, it doesn't matter. I know people in the US that retired and lost their marbles, tried to go back to work and couldn't and ended up a wreck to never really recover. It can happen here. To Global Guys point, You have to be adaptable and find a new set of activities to replace the daily work regiment that has been a HUGE part of most peoples life for 30 or 40 years. Hard to just turn that off, one must give them self time and be patient, set a budget and hold yourself to it. I look forward to getting into a daily basic work out program every morning or evening. My wife wants to as well. I want to go ride bikes, relax in the middle of the day, fly my drone, take up photography, watch some TV, work on my vehicles etc.