Did anyone end up hating Thailand after retiring?

[Andrew Dwyer]

 
3) Retiring is a very interesting dynamic ( one I will embark on quite soon) Am I anxious.nervous...you bet. It definitely will have some challenging times. However this could be anywhere, it doesn't matter. I know people in the US that retired and lost their marbles, tried to go back to work and couldn't and ended up a wreck to never really recover. It can happen here. To Global Guys point, You have to be adaptable and find a new set of activities to replace the daily work regiment that has been a HUGE part of most peoples life for 30 or 40 years. Hard to just turn that off, one must give them self time and be patient, set a budget and hold yourself to it. I look forward to getting into a daily basic work out program every morning or evening. My wife wants to as well. I want to go ride bikes, relax in the middle of the day, fly my drone, take up photography, watch some TV, work on my vehicles etc. 
 
 

Just to add to JAFO's comments:

I retired 18 months ago, moved to Thailand and rented a small apartment.
I continued to do some contract work for my old company until Nov last year which was great, came back to Thailand after each job and me and the gf would go traveling.

Moved into a house a month ago.
An ex colleagues wife is expecting a baby in September and he's asked me to help him out for a couple of months. I said yes as the money is good but as it gets closer I'm kinda regretting saying yes.
Not sure if it's cos I'm in the new house and have a million things to do or it's cos I'm ready to retire now.
Bit of both I guess.

So what I'm trying to say is:
Retirement is great but you do need something to keep you occupied whether it's the odd job or a new house or a hobby !!

[pigeonjake]

the question was do you hate thatiland,   no,,

 

but i hate a few of the people in thailand!!

[swissie]

8 hours ago, JAFO said:

I usually do not chime in late on threads like this because they usually derail quickly but this one has been very adult. I have been here for sometime some working, some on a work hiatus. I definitely enjoy the work Hiatus part. I will retire early.

 

The above clip from Global guy is a good start albeit  # 4 is a tough one.  Being well funded all depends on your personal expectations and of course your current financial position. I am not "Well Funded" but I do not think I need to be. Whether you are here or in the US once you retire you have to scale back and make life adjustments. It becomes more about "Needs" then "Wants" These can be challenging. One key point on being "well funded", It can be offset by being debt free.  No bills changes everything. Of course having a truck load of cash can always make things better :)

 

My few thoughts about retiring in Thailand (could be anywhere)

 

1) Location Location Location. This has to match your personal make up. It may sound good having lived in the city all your life then moving out in the sticks or Vice-versa.  Do not be hasty. If you are, you might end up hating the place however its not really hating Thailand, Its really about hating your decision. Most people cannot make a paradigm shift.

 

2) Renting or owning, Again totally depends on ones make up and expectations. My wife and I built a modest home because I would hate to rent, (especially a condo as I did those for awhile here and went nuts). Of course I am an outdoor guy and retiring and living in a box would be brutal. Having a house and some land gives you some hobby options plus some space to keep it different. I find watering, planting trees, yard work, etc a fun routine.

 

3) Retiring is a very interesting dynamic ( one I will embark on quite soon) Am I anxious.nervous...you bet. It definitely will have some challenging times. However this could be anywhere, it doesn't matter. I know people in the US that retired and lost their marbles, tried to go back to work and couldn't and ended up a wreck to never really recover. It can happen here. To Global Guys point, You have to be adaptable and find a new set of activities to replace the daily work regiment that has been a HUGE part of most peoples life for 30 or 40 years. Hard to just turn that off, one must give them self time and be patient, set a budget and hold yourself to it. I look forward to getting into a daily basic work out program every morning or evening. My wife wants to as well. I want to go ride bikes, relax in the middle of the day, fly my drone, take up photography, watch some TV, work on my vehicles etc. 

 

 

You say: Location, location, location.

 

Most Farangs end up at the "location" where "HER" Family lives. For better or for worse. Choices?
Cheers.

[swissie]

Returning to topic:

- Most Farang "Base-Jumpers" in Pattaya must have ended up hating Thailand in one way or the other. Isn't it? Boy, there are quite a few.

Or, if not hating Thailand, then maybe ending up hating themselves for having settled in Thailand to begin with. (Undercapitalised, unrealistic expectations, entangled in a one-sided relationship failing to pull the release cord in time, etc etc).

Having burned all the bridges to the home country (no way back), can easily lead to hating Thailand, hating your home-country, hating yourself and hating Mother Theresa for good measure. Triple witching hour, so to speak.
Cheers.

[JAFO]

8 hours ago, swissie said:

You say: Location, location, location.

 

Most Farangs end up at the "location" where "HER" Family lives. For better or for worse. Choices?
Cheers.

Agreed but we all have choices don't we? I never understood why some move where they do not want to only to be miserable. Why retire to be in a bad spot? I think its why many claim hating Thailand and pick it apart but the root cause is their personal choices.

 

 

[Pilotman]

The renting against buying debate is interesting. I would not be happy living in a home I didn't 'own', or at least in Thai terms 'partner in'. That would certainly impact my state of mind during my retirement.  Living in the house we own gives me my base and roots and a very personal connection and investment to Thailand as my new home.   My wife and I have been marred for 20 years.  I have two children from my previous marriage and  we have one with my present wife.  The deal we came to was that the house here is  in effect my wife's inheritance, which will pass to our daughter in time as she is duel nationality.  the remaining finds are held in the UK and will be the two older children's inheritance.  That's our deal and we are happy with it.  So we have no issues regarding money brought to LOS as it will not leave and will be inherited.  We are also happy to leave money in the UK which is a back stop if we need it and will be inherited in turn. 

[Pilotman]

9 minutes ago, JAFO said:

Agreed but we all have choices don't we? I never understood why some move where they do not want to only to be miserable. Why retire to be in a bad spot? I think its why many claim hating Thailand and pick it apart but the root cause is their personal choices.

 

 

we bought where I wanted/needed to be.  We are 600ks from her family.  It had to be drivable to BKK in under 3 hours, close to international hospitals, close to 5 star dining, if we wanted it,  and close to the sea.  My wife's family live in the sticks and well away from any of those requirements. 

[Jip99]

5 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

The renting against buying debate is interesting. I would not be happy living in a home I didn't 'own', or at least in Thai terms 'partner in'. That would certainly impact my state of mind during my retirement.  Living in the house we own gives me my base and roots and a very personal connection and investment to Thailand as my new home.   My wife and I have been marred for 20 years.  I have two children from my previous marriage and  we have one with my present wife.  The deal we came to was that the house here is  in effect my wife's inheritance, which will pass to our daughter in time as she is duel nationality.  the remaining finds are held in the UK and will be the two older children's inheritance.  That's our deal and we are happy with it.  So we have no issues regarding money brought to LOS as it will not leave and will be inherited.  We are also happy to leave money in the UK which is a back stop if we need it and will be inherited in turn. 

 

 

If if that is your "deal" then make sure it is documented in a Will as far as the U.K. assets are concerned. Obviously, you don't have property assets in Thailand so that doesn't matter, but dying intestate will leave your current wife as beneficiary to all assets in the U.K. 

[JAFO]

9 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

we bought where I wanted/needed to be.  We are 600ks from her family.  It had to be drivable to BKK in under 3 hours, close to international hospitals, close to 5 star dining, if we wanted it,  and close to the sea.  My wife's family live in the sticks and well away from any of those requirements. 

I was one that expanded the landownership around the house my wife grew up in but I wanted to live there. I had traveled all over Thailand and lived in many places and I love the North. We considered other locations and lived in a few for a few months or looked around when traveling. Where we live has all I need and desire.  Central Mall with some western comforts about 20 minutes away. Immigration 10 minutes. Airport the same as well as extremely good medical services in the event of an emergency. Additionally outstanding weather, quiet clean area, river to fish for fun and if I want, 1 hr from me is CM.

 

But again This was well thought out and why I always state Location is everything.   

[Pilotman]

58 minutes ago, Jip99 said:

 

 

If if that is your "deal" then make sure it is documented in a Will as far as the U.K. assets are concerned. Obviously, you don't have property assets in Thailand so that doesn't matter, but dying intestate will leave your current wife as beneficiary to all assets in the U.K. 

Absolutely.  Its amazing how many people don't document these things.  We also have Thai wills, translated and the kids are joint executors of both country wills. 

[NancyL]

Usually this late into a thread, it is well off the rails, but the discussion has continued to be adult.

 

Yes, I know many people who have left Thailand after giving retirement life here a serious "go" of at least a year or two.  I'm in Chiang Mai and we attract more retired expat/expat couples and women than elsewhere in Thailand.  One woman had been a school teacher in mainland China and after a year of CM retirement, decided she didn't want a retirement spent rubbing elbows with Chinese tourists.  She relocated to a popular retirement spot in South America, without so much as a trial visit and loves it.  

 

Some expat/expat couples leave after a year or two when it's evident the man is much more gung-ho about Thailand retirement than the wife and he really tries to overcome her every objection, as in renting a house above their budget just so she'll have a western kitchen, hiring a gardener/driver so she doesn't have to drive, etc.  Meanwhile, the desperate husband is talking with us retired ladies who are having fun, begging us to invite their wives to lunches, card parties, trips to salon/spas (which we do a time or two until we discover she's Debbie downer) and then, the wife complains she doesn't have any friends.  Some of these couples return to their home countries, or in a few cases, the husband's affair with a Thai girl is discovered and then things get interesting.  

 

That being said, the vast majority of expat/expat retiree couples I know here are very happy. And contrary to what some sexpats would have you believe, the guys do not have affairs with Thai women.

 

The cases that are really sad are men who are "trapped" here with no other options.  I've written about this extensively on ThaiVisa because of my involvement with Lanna Care Net.  These are guys, used to working for a salary, who come here with a pot of money meant to last the rest of their life.  The easy living and easy sex is a big lure.  They have no idea how to manage money and that pot of money falls prey to boiler room boys, potential business partners and sex partners, both female and male.  They can end up living as the only English-speaker in a village, basically supporting the entire village, thinking that village will take care of them for the rest of their life.  Life in these villages is hopelessly boring, with trips to the Tesco Lotus and KFC as a big outing.  The village doesn't understand why the pot of money runs out and the poor retiree has to live on his meager monthly pension.  

 

When he ages and becomes ill, he doesn't have enough money available to return to his home country for treatment. Even if his Thai family loves him, there are extreme limits to their knowledge.  They don't know that minutes count when someone has a stroke and he should be rushed to the nearest hospital ASAP.  Heck, it's doubtful they know what all the symptoms of a stroke look like. With quick intervention, many stroke victims can have nearly full recovery.  Wait a few hours, and there is irreversible damage.  When he gets cancer, they go to the gov't hospital and are told "there is nothing more that can be done for him", so they take him home to die.  Being told "nothing more can be done" means "I, the all-powerful doctor, cannot cure this cancer".   It doesn't mean "he should go home and die in pain".  There sure is more that can done for him, he can be given painkillers, but his Thai family have been taught never to question a doctor and so the man dies a horrible death because his Thai family doesn't know how to question doctors and seek information. 

 

[JAFO]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

Usually this late into a thread, it is well off the rails, but the discussion has continued to be adult.

I agree ^

 

To your post NancyL',  Moving abroad takes some homework and planning and even then not everything works out as planned. Expectations play a key role in it and you have to be extremely adaptable. 

 

One thing touched on above was friends. Making friends as an expat can be quite challenging for a host of reasons. I know many have left because they cannot connect. Its funny all the leisure retirement abroad brochures seem to show these 2 or 3 couples all relaxed smiling and laughing living it up. I think we all know that is not the reality. Sure their are fun moments to be had but........

 

I tend to agree that in general most expats are quite happy here. Whether they have a big pot of money or their pension. There are many things one can do that do not cost money that are enjoyable and fun. 

 

The ones that get trapped are likely the ones that complain the most and the loudest. Those also appear to be the ones that start down the path of drinking and other choices. One should always have at least a few bucks in the bank to return home and if its not working... Go. Do not force it. 

 

 

 

There is clearly a sexpat and expat community here in Thailand. 

[NancyL]

Yes, I can very much see there is a spectrum of "sexpat to expat" here.  In my experience, the most successful retirees are those who have both Thai and expat friends.  Those who hook up with a Thai partner soon on arrival and get immersed in her world become quite isolated, often deluding themselves into thing they're living "the real Thai experience" but in reality they're quite lonely and can get into big trouble when they have problems.

 

Recently, I assisted a guy who has lived here in Chiang Mai seven years and found himself in hospital without anyone to help.  He kept the management of all his finances to himself.  He had a few Thai lady friends, but thought he was being smart never to get intimate with them -- they just showed him around the area and used him as a small scale ATM to buy things for their kids.  The women would take him (and their kids) out to restaurants, even in the big malls in Chiang Mai.  The poor guy had never eaten at Dukes or Wine Connection in the CM Malls.  The Thai women had never suggested it.  They liked places like MBK, KFC, etc. in the malls. My goodness how can you call yourself a CM expat for seven years and not even know what Dukes is?  This is what happens when you rely on a Thai woman to make your dining choices for you.   

[jeab1980]

8 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Yes, I can very much see there is a spectrum of "sexpat to expat" here.  In my experience, the most successful retirees are those who have both Thai and expat friends.  Those who hook up with a Thai partner soon on arrival and get immersed in her world become quite isolated, often deluding themselves into thing they're living "the real Thai experience" but in reality they're quite lonely and can get into big trouble when they have problems.

 

Recently, I assisted a guy who has lived here in Chiang Mai seven years and found himself in hospital without anyone to help.  He kept the management of all his finances to himself.  He had a few Thai lady friends, but thought he was being smart never to get intimate with them -- they just showed him around the area and used him as a small scale ATM to buy things for their kids.  The women would take him (and their kids) out to restaurants, even in the big malls in Chiang Mai.  The poor guy had never eaten at Dukes or Wine Connection in the CM Malls.  The Thai women had never suggested it.  They liked places like MBK, KFC, etc. in the malls. My goodness how can you call yourself a CM expat for seven years and not even know what Dukes is?  This is what happens when you rely on a Thai woman to make your dining choices for you.   

Can you identify or expand more on expat or sexpat? What differentiate, and Expat from a sexpat?  As for emmersing onself in a diffrent culture or in one woman. Lots of people come to Thailand to get away the hussle and bussle. There are many fine restaurants in London but i couldnt name them. So by not knowing what or where  "Dukes" is makes you not an Expat or in my case as i dont work here any more so therefore not an expat but a immigrant.? No sorry i dont see your logic at all. 

[NancyL]

There are expats in Chiang Mai, a city full of expats, who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club as a front operation for shysters out to get their money (and not simply a good way to make friends, pick up a new hobby, have opportunities to travel, etc), eat only Thai food, often street food and pride themselves on how all their new friends are Thai, largely meet through the circle of friends of their new girlfriends or people they meet through their commercial interactions, i.e in bars, restaurants, massage parlors, etc. Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants, and engage in activities like Bridge, Computer Club, and Pickleball. 

 

Hubby and I would probably be regarded as part of the latter group by the former, but what members of the former group don't realize and that some members of the latter group engage in activities that allow them to interact with a higher level of Thai society than they're meeting while dining at 40 baht noodle stalls and probably have more opportunity to know "the real Thailand".  We get to meet Thai people through involvement in Thai service organizations like Rotary Clubs, Zonta, Lions or through Churches, by immersing in Buddhist studies, or Thai language studies at a high level like the rigorous program at Payap University, to name just a few of the many opportunities in Chiang Mai. 

 

We've traveled with Thai friends, weekend trips around northern Thailand and overseas trips to Korea and the Philippines.  We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  Our close Thai friends have university backgrounds and work histories that are very similar to ours, but we never would have connected with them had we not made the effort to get involved in community service.  These are not the sort of Thai people who are going to make friends with expats sitting in a bar or at a 40 baht noodle stall, yet these are the ones who can show you "the real Thailand" .

 

This level of involvement in the community, not just the expat community, is part of what contributes to having a successful retirement in Thailand.

[LannaGuy]

2 minutes ago, NancyL said:

There are expats in Chiang Mai, a city full of expats, who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club as a front operation as a front operation for shysters out to get their money (and not simply a good way to make friends, pick up a new hobby, have opportunities to travel, etc), eat only Thai food, often street food and pride themselves on how all their new friends are Thai, largely meet through the circle of friends of their new girlfriends or people they meet through their commercial interactions, i.e in bars, restaurants, massage parlors, etc. Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants, and engage in activities like Bridge, Computer Club, and Pickleball. 

 

Hubby and I would probably be regarded as part of the latter group by the former, but what members of the former group don't realize and that some members of the latter group engage in activities that allow them to interact with a higher level of Thai society than they're meeting while dining at 40 baht noodle stalls and probably have more opportunity to know "the real Thailand".  We get to meet Thai people through involvement in Thai service organizations like Rotary Clubs, Zonta, Lions or through Churches, by immersing in Buddhist studies, or Thai language studies at a high level like the rigorous program at Payap University.  

 

We've traveled with Thai friends, weekend trips around norther Thailand and overseas trips to Korea and the Philippines.  We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  Our close Thai friends have university backgrounds and work histories that are very similar to ours, but we never would have connected with them had we not made the effort to get involved in community service.  These are not the sort of Thai people who are going to make friends with expats sitting in a bar or at a 40 baht noodle stall, yet these are the ones who can show you "the real Thailand" .

 

This level of involvement in the community, not just the expat community, is part of what contributes to having a successful retirement in Thailand.

 

I thought you were leaving Chiang Mai? anyway no need for anyone to get 'superior' about anything and everyone has their own 'needs'. Personally going to the ex-pat club would be excruciating but I still feel it's a good idea and makes a worthwhile contribution particularly for elderly folk and middle class folk who want to retain their hobbies and enjoy mixing with other foreigners from their homeland. Nothing wrong in this but there are others who enjoy a more liberal lifestyle and like to freewheel more. Each to their own!  

[idman]

Get off your own high horse Lady before you start preaching to the masses.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 9:53 PM, billd766 said:

 

I have to disagree with you there as in my case I have been married for 17 years and have a 13 year old son. Yes I bought land and built a house for my family and so have at least 20 odd of my friends that I have worked with over the past 20 odd years in Thailand.

 

PS I am still a happy chappie even after 17 years of marriage.

 

We live in rural Khampaeng Phet on 15 rai and there is no way I would live in a city or a big town now, nor do I even contemplate returning to the UK.

 

However this is only my personal opinion. Others may differ.

Everything is OK till it isn't. I was happily married too, till I wasn't.

My point is that getting married or buying a house is a bet that it will work out ie gambling on life. Renting accommodation and not getting married is not betting on things being OK, but allowing for flexibility and increases the chance of a content life. In Thailand there is no shortage of rental housing or prospective unmarried partners.

[NancyL]

7 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

 

I thought you were leaving Chiang Mai? anyway no need for anyone to get 'superior' about anything and everyone has their own 'needs'. Personally going to the ex-pat club would be excruciating but I still feel it's a good idea and makes a worthwhile contribution particularly for elderly folk and middle class folk who want to retain their hobbies and enjoy mixing with other foreigners from their homeland. Nothing wrong in this but there are others who enjoy a more liberal lifestyle and like to freewheel more. Each to their own!  

Yes, we're evaluating relocation to Kota Kinabula, Sabah state Borneo.  Some of the reasons are the restrictions placed on retirees for community service by Immigration, the hassle of dealing with Immigration and the attractiveness of the MM2H 10 year visa.  Hubby is in KK right now for several weeks, enjoying activities with our Rotary friends there and submitted our application package to Sabah immigration.  That went better than expected because some of our reading had led us to believe that they encouraged everyone to use agents and not apply directly.  Instead, he was treated with much respect by the MM2H officer, who devoted an entire hour in reviewing our application package (there are many documents required) pointing out the two shortcomings (rather minor, and easily corrected).  

 

Meanwhile, however, both our cat and I have developed some health problems and are recovering in separate hospitals.  The cat's problem is much more serious.  So, we may have to re-evaluate. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 10:01 PM, idman said:

No matter where you put down roots be they temporary or permanent there will always be times when you question the sanity of that decision. Life here in Chiang Mai isn't always a bowl of cherries but I would not move at this point in my life. Not because I don't have the means but because on the whole C.M. offers me all I require to be reasonably happy. And after all isn't that why we are here in first place??

Agree.

As long as one doesn't need decent barbeers or being near the sea, C M is good enough to be reasonably happy, or at least to live without being unhappy ( not the same thing ).

Other than decent barbeers or the sea, everything I need is within a half hour walk of where I live.

[Andrew Dwyer]

There are expats in Chiang Mai, a city full of expats, who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club as a front operation for shysters out to get their money (and not simply a good way to make friends, pick up a new hobby, have opportunities to travel, etc), eat only Thai food, often street food and pride themselves on how all their new friends are Thai, largely meet through the circle of friends of their new girlfriends or people they meet through their commercial interactions, i.e in bars, restaurants, massage parlors, etc. Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants, and engage in activities like Bridge, Computer Club, and Pickleball. 
 

Pickleball ?
I'm curious .

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

There are expats in Chiang Mai, a city full of expats, who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club as a front operation for shysters out to get their money (and not simply a good way to make friends, pick up a new hobby, have opportunities to travel, etc), eat only Thai food, often street food and pride themselves on how all their new friends are Thai, largely meet through the circle of friends of their new girlfriends or people they meet through their commercial interactions, i.e in bars, restaurants, massage parlors, etc. Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants, and engage in activities like Bridge, Computer Club, and Pickleball. 

 

Hubby and I would probably be regarded as part of the latter group by the former, but what members of the former group don't realize and that some members of the latter group engage in activities that allow them to interact with a higher level of Thai society than they're meeting while dining at 40 baht noodle stalls and probably have more opportunity to know "the real Thailand".  We get to meet Thai people through involvement in Thai service organizations like Rotary Clubs, Zonta, Lions or through Churches, by immersing in Buddhist studies, or Thai language studies at a high level like the rigorous program at Payap University, to name just a few of the many opportunities in Chiang Mai. 

 

We've traveled with Thai friends, weekend trips around northern Thailand and overseas trips to Korea and the Philippines.  We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  Our close Thai friends have university backgrounds and work histories that are very similar to ours, but we never would have connected with them had we not made the effort to get involved in community service.  These are not the sort of Thai people who are going to make friends with expats sitting in a bar or at a 40 baht noodle stall, yet these are the ones who can show you "the real Thailand" .

 

This level of involvement in the community, not just the expat community, is part of what contributes to having a successful retirement in Thailand.

Please do not consider this a personal attack on you. I don't know you, but some of the things you say deserve a response.

 

who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club

IMO you are overthinking it. It's never a good idea to put masses of people in "boxes", as everyone is individual with unique motives and desires.

eg, I know no other expats in C M, but only because there are none in my vicinity. I meet more at immigration than at any other time. Not that I have any great desire to become "buds" with other western people, but I'm not closed to a friendship if one happened.

I haven't been to the expats club, because I don't think I'm interested in what they are offering, not because I am opposed to them, per se. Same reason I didn't join the Pattaya expats club after attending one of their meetings.

Neither am I interested in becoming friends with Thais because they are Thai. Again, if I met a Thai I got on with I would not be opposed to becoming friends.

 

Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants,

Unfortunately, whether deserved or not, you come across as just another PC westerner opposed to what is a Thai way of life, despite choosing to live in LOS.

Many of the men that P4P do so because they don't want to be married, and why should they just to have their sexual needs serviced?

As for feeling superior, many of them have had nothing but tragedy from whichever western hag from hell they were involved with, so it's more a case of "pitying" the men who brought over their own woman. Many of them, I dare say, moved to Thailand specifically to NOT have anything to do with western women.

Re western restaurants, While I have no desire to eat exclusively from street stalls, I don't understand why anyone would move to LOS and exclusively eat in western restaurants, especially given their prices.

 

We've traveled with Thai friends, weekend trips around northern Thailand and overseas trips to Korea and the Philippines.  We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  Our close Thai friends have university backgrounds and work histories that are very similar to ours, but we never would have connected with them had we not made the effort to get involved in community service.  These are not the sort of Thai people who are going to make friends with expats sitting in a bar or at a 40 baht noodle stall, yet these are the ones who can show you "the real Thailand"

Sorry, but you come across as a rich person living a privileged lifestyle in a country where many people make less in a month than what you spend in a restaurant in one night.

I doubt you have any understanding of the life poor westerners live in LOS, unable to eat at Dukes or swan off for oversea holidays in Korea and the Phillipines.

Might be news to you, but most of us have ZERO interest in associating with people that consider themselves superior to us, and those people are no more capable of showing me the "real" Thailand than Santa Claus.

I have seen the "real" Thailand, and it isn't found in 5* hotels. It's in the villages where people are living on the subsistence line, and in small towns where poor people live, it's in small settlements in the jungle, it's in rural communities where there are no farangs, it's in the sparsely populated gulf coast beach areas, it's in the rattletrap local buses that never see a flashpacker, it's in cheap beach huts on beautiful beaches, it's in the overnight sleeper trains, and even in the gogos of Nana and Cowboy, the barbeers of Pattaya, and the cheap apartments in city back streets where few farangs live.

Edited September 6, 2017 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

 

 

 

 We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  

Please explain. I have no idea what that means, and if even google can't produce more than 8 meaningless results is it even real?

[jeab1980]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

There are expats in Chiang Mai, a city full of expats, who purposefully isolate themselves from other expats, saying they came here to get away from the hustle and bustle of their former life, dismissing the activities of the CM Expats Club as a front operation for shysters out to get their money (and not simply a good way to make friends, pick up a new hobby, have opportunities to travel, etc), eat only Thai food, often street food and pride themselves on how all their new friends are Thai, largely meet through the circle of friends of their new girlfriends or people they meet through their commercial interactions, i.e in bars, restaurants, massage parlors, etc. Many of these guys routinely pay women to service their sexual needs.  They consider themselves vastly superior to those who "brought over their own women, i.e. cows who henpeck them just like they did at home", dine in western restaurants, and engage in activities like Bridge, Computer Club, and Pickleball. 

 

Hubby and I would probably be regarded as part of the latter group by the former, but what members of the former group don't realize and that some members of the latter group engage in activities that allow them to interact with a higher level of Thai society than they're meeting while dining at 40 baht noodle stalls and probably have more opportunity to know "the real Thailand".  We get to meet Thai people through involvement in Thai service organizations like Rotary Clubs, Zonta, Lions or through Churches, by immersing in Buddhist studies, or Thai language studies at a high level like the rigorous program at Payap University, to name just a few of the many opportunities in Chiang Mai. 

 

We've traveled with Thai friends, weekend trips around northern Thailand and overseas trips to Korea and the Philippines.  We've come to love the Thai concept of "pai thaew".  Our close Thai friends have university backgrounds and work histories that are very similar to ours, but we never would have connected with them had we not made the effort to get involved in community service.  These are not the sort of Thai people who are going to make friends with expats sitting in a bar or at a 40 baht noodle stall, yet these are the ones who can show you "the real Thailand" .

 

This level of involvement in the community, not just the expat community, is part of what contributes to having a successful retirement in Thailand.

Thats defending who? All i asked was diffrence between Epats and Sexpats. I have thai friends with whom we eat and drink. I have no need for an expat group club. I find it is those who feel they are somehow vastly superior to other immigrants. Example "if you dont know where Dukes is your not an expat".

 

We all have our own way of living wherever we chose to live no one is wrong or right. Its just the way it is.

[NancyL]

25 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Pickleball ?
I'm curious .

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickleball

 

http://www.pickleballchannel.com/

 

https://www.usapa.org/what-is-pickleball/

 

I know people considering retirement to Thailand who selected Chiang Mai over other cities because we have an active Pickleball scene.  

[transam]

29 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Pickleball ?
I'm curious .

Pickled onion.....

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 6:59 PM, Andrew Dwyer said:

Just to add to JAFO's comments:



Moved into a house a month ago.
An ex colleagues wife is expecting a baby in September and he's asked me to help him out for a couple of months. I said yes as the money is good but as it gets closer I'm kinda regretting saying yes.
Not sure if it's cos I'm in the new house and have a million things to do or it's cos I'm ready to retire now.
Bit of both I guess.

So what I'm trying to say is:
Retirement is great but you do need something to keep you occupied whether it's the odd job or a new house or a hobby !!
 

Can't link to your quote so I'll add to yours.

Some people can't adapt to retirement because they have nothing else in their life. I was lucky in that I worked to live, not lived to work.

Loved being retired from the moment I walked out of workplace for the last time. Now I have time to do what I want, not spend my time working with bullies and for the ungrateful just to make money.

People should have something in their life while still working that is nothing to do with work, and can be done after retirement. Don't wait till retirement to look for something to do.

 

I'm kinda regretting saying yes.

Never regret any opportunity to make some cash after retirement, as long as it's not as bad as working used to be.

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

 

 

We all have our own way of living wherever we chose to live no one is wrong or right. Its just the way it is.

I "like" that times x 1,000,000.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 0:40 AM, swissie said:

Returning to topic:

- Most Farang "Base-Jumpers" in Pattaya must have ended up hating Thailand in one way or the other. Isn't it? Boy, there are quite a few.

Or, if not hating Thailand, then maybe ending up hating themselves for having settled in Thailand to begin with. (Undercapitalised, unrealistic expectations, entangled in a one-sided relationship failing to pull the release cord in time, etc etc).

Having burned all the bridges to the home country (no way back), can easily lead to hating Thailand, hating your home-country, hating yourself and hating Mother Theresa for good measure. Triple witching hour, so to speak.
Cheers.

IMO, you are 100% wrong.

IMO the base jumpers love living in Thailand so much that death is preferable to leaving it.

Some of us actually had enough money to live in LOS till we snuffed it, but made the big mistake of getting married. The end of the dream.

 

People don't kill themselves because they hate themselves. They kill themselves because they can't see a way out of their situation.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 9:15 AM, JAFO said:

Agreed but we all have choices don't we? I never understood why some move where they do not want to only to be miserable. Why retire to be in a bad spot? I think its why many claim hating Thailand and pick it apart but the root cause is their personal choices.

 

 

Usually comes down to living where she wants, or not living with her at all.